Aijo no Katachi

A form of affection

Chapter 3: Mujitsu

She woke up with a start again. Forehead drenched with sweat, her face was pale and her hands were still shaking. Nightmares were constantly haunting her these past days. Swirling red sharinggan was what had been bothering her dreams, keeping her restless and awake most of the time. She took a deep breath and repeated over and over to her head that it was all a dream, like a mantra, just to calm herself.

When she finally stopped fidgeting, Sakura look beyond her windows through the mountains were the sun is almost peeking through. She clasped her heart that was being shredded into bits as the moment passes by.

To miss someone you've never had....is that a crime?

Suddenly she felt her head swirl in pain and her stomach turn upside down. She couldn't help but race to the sink of her bathroom, throwing up what was the rest of her supper last night.

"oi! Sakura-chaaannn!!"

Naruto yelled at her like a child he was, but Naruto wasn't a child anymore, he was a father to a sweet child born by Hinata. Sakura quickened her steps waving to the ecstatic Naruto who was waiting outside the market's entrance.

"Naruto! You should act more like you age you know?" she couldn't help but reprimand him while he stood there grinning. His son, Shin, sat on his broad shoulders enjoying his little piggyback ride.

"ah-re? Were is Hinata-san?" Sakura couldn't help but ask when she didn't find Naruto's timid wife behind him. 'Old habits couldn't be broken' she guessed. Hinata Hyuuga was still a bit timid and shy when around other people but Naruto's over self-confidence must be rubbing off her since she's trying to socialize more and express her ideas firmly since they've been married.

"Hina went to the market today and I get stuck babysitting" He grinned at Sakura.

"Correction...you mean I GET stuck babysitting..." She poked a finger at his chest.

"Ahaha! gooomeen Sakura-chan, Tsunade-sama just gave me a quick orders. Honto ni Gomeenn!!!"

He clasped his hands together and bowed his head so low; that his son almost rolled off his shoulders but gladly the child has an amazing grip on his father's blond hair.

"sa-cha!!"

The boy cried out trying to call her name like her father did. Sakura can't help but smile when she sees the little Shin-chan's huge smile on its innocent face. She gave out a sigh and smiled.

"hai hai..."

Her arms took the child away from Naruto's shoulder and he raised his head rubbing it sheepishly.

"Arigatou Sakura-chan, I'll come by this afternoon to pick him up" With that Naruto disappeared into a puff of smoke.

Shin flung its small arms at Sakura and she quickly obliged to his request and cradled him protectively.

"hai hai..you're father sure is something ne?"

'I would give anything to be in Hinata-san's shoes right now....'

To be loved. To have a sweet little family with a nice home, a sweet child and a loving husband....

A perfect heaven for her. Sakura opened her eyes to see little Shin-chan clutching on her dress, his grip was tight like she was about to dissapear, sleeping snugly nestled in her chest.

A vision of innocence.

She smiled, no use dwelling on her problems when she has this angel in her arms, and besides being frustrated will only cause more stress she doesn't really need right now.

"hmm..I don't know you had a child Sakura?...."

Sakura couldn't help but retort on that statement but she smiled instead.

"At least I haven't gained quite a few pounds from pregnancy Ino-chan"

Sakura turned around to find Ino and Shikamaru walking up to her. Shikamaru carrying a few bags of groceries containing an assortment of vegetables.

"oi oi...I think she got ya there Ino"

Shikamaru snorted in laughter as his wife grew red beet. "Nice to see you Sakura....you too Shin-chan.." his whisper was somehow only audible to the wind careful not to wake the sleeping child.

"You too Shikamaru, I see that Yukime's growing pretty fast" Sakura stroked Ino's round belly.

"You tell us Sakura, you're the doctor ne?" Ino's reply just made her day. It was great that people acknowledge what she does, because on rare occasions, she felt that even she herself doesn't.

"Daijobou...she's in good shape...not long now." Sakura smiled as Shikamaru give a light kiss on Ino's belly whispering something that made Ino blush.

Sakura propped Shin in her arms as she was getting a bit tired of the extra weight she wasn't used to deal with. Ino took notice of the paleness painted on Sakura's face.

"Sakura...are you sure you're well? You look tired..."

'No...I'm not Ino....' she wanted to blurt out but instead she kept it to herself and smiled sweetly instead.

"This is nothing guys, just a little exhausted from the heat...I'll be going now...before Shin wakes up"

Sakura walked steadily away from her friends, battling her insides to keep herself together and don't let her knees give away. Ino shook her head in disbelief.

"You know sometimes I want to have Tsunade-sama to take a look at her.... she seems so ill these days..."

Shikamaru took a long hard stare at Sakura's fleeting figure and closed his eyes. He knew what was going on with their friend but it was something he doesn't want to pry on.

It was something troublesome.

After all it wasn't his bussiness to tell, even if it was to his own wife, it was still something Sakura had the right to tell.

"...yeah..." was all he could say to Ino back as they both walked down to the road towards their home.

Sakura walked aimlessly in the streets of Konoha. The sun was high and the heat was getting the better of her. She decided it would be best for both of them to rest on someplace cool, where she could relax so she headed to the spot where she would often pick medicinal herbs. That place always brought her peace in some ways.

She leaned into a large oak tree and slumped down to a sitting position and took a deep breath.

"Am I at my limit?" she whispered to the air that carried her pink tresses. The grass swayed calmly by the wind, freely with no worries. Leaves from the trees falls ever so gently like boats rocking against the wind.

"When will you come back?"

A question that has been nagging her since, well ever since He left, only leaving her a growing pain to be his subtle memory in her. She look above to see the sunlight clouded by the canopy of leaves, allowing only small beams of light to pass through and shower over her.

"never....right?"

She doesn't need a great philosopher, or a scientist to tell her this. It was one thing she knew, and was sure of.

Sakura brushed a tender hand over Shin's sun kissed colored hair, envied how the child can sleep with no fear of having nightmares...with this thought she drifted into her own dream.

a/n: hmm...who is this strange HE, Sakura was mentioning?? Sharinggan eyes? Could it be...!! GASP!! Oh well...not much to say but Read and Review ahahaha!

(Ayame Souma eats Soba with confidence!)