Mitarshi Anko...

Recruitment

"Floor Chocolate"

Anko emerged from a cloud of purple smoke outside a closed washroom stall. Knocking her fists against the door, she shouted in her muffled voice: "Lit mey in, lit mey in," Anko jumped and stomped her feet on the tile ground.

The door swung open and hit Anko over. On the ground, she coughed up a brown square about the size of her palm. She picked it up and with a smile said: "Floor chocolate!"

A large hand grabbed her hand as she tried to put what was on the floor in her mouth.

"Anko," Ibiki said, "What are you doing in the men's washroom?"

He helped her up and took the brown square from her.

"This is something you put under a couch leg," Ibiki said, "it's not edible."

"I want a third option!" Anko protested. "Floor chocolate, it is! I veto you! Give me!"

"I think I'll keep it," Ibiki put it in his pocket, "now, what are you doing in the men's washroom?"

"Duh! I'm not going to find you in the women's washroom." Anko stated and held out her hand expecting something, "I'm ready for the mission."

"Okay," Ibiki handed her the briefing, "ANBU headquarters is our meeting place at 1800 hours."

"Yahoo!"

"Could you recommend anyone?" Ibiki asked.

"Was I recommended?" Anko asked. "I have to apologize to the Hokage for breaking one of his windows. What a kind old man, the Hokage is."

"Actually, one of the group members recommended someone who was already chosen," Ibiki said, "you sort of nominated yourself."

"What?!? That goat bastard, Hokage, didn't assign me to this fun mission!" Anko removed a urinal from the wall with her hands. She looked at Ibiki. "Maito Gai is who I choose. Hey, get off of that cake!"

"Let's call it a puck," Ibiki suggested for the urinal puck that had fell out when Anko left a large hole in the wall. "You should not eat that."

"Are you telling me what to do?" Anko smashed the white urinal over his head and walked out. "Asshole! You weren't even going to eat it."

Post

"Apples"

It was almost a rule to a master of a group of Genins that he had to at least tie one person up to a post or punish them in some way.

"Girls are not supposed to get tied up in this test," Orochimaru explained to Anko squirming under the robes that tied her to a post, "it would be wrong of me to leave you like that for the whole night."

"Come closer," Anko asked. Orochimaru stooped down in front of her. "Kamikaze!"

Anko was standing up where the post was and holding her clone that was tied to the post before she had returned to her true state. As the clone was free, she jumped to tackle Orochimaru's feet to knock him down.

"Shadow clone?" Orochimaru said and saw the other Anko with his forehead protector under her bangs leap frog over her clone and held Orochmaru's hands. She started to perform handseals with him.

"Die!" An explosion happened between them causing Anko to be thrown away against a rock as her shadow clone expired.

"How is it possible?" Orochimaru asked. Anko leaped out of the rumble left from her fall. Anko charged at him but looped around to pick up some apples off the ground.

"Hmm..." Anko stuffed her mouth, "ground apples!"

She looked at the apple in her hand and saw a worm wriggling with a piece bitten out of it. Falling down, she moaned.

"Anko," Orochimaru walked up to her, "you should eat stuff off the ground. Those apples aren't good for anyone."

She rolled around and showed mischievous eyes as she grabbed onto his feet again.

"How do you like them apples?" Anko cried as she pounced out of the tree to knock her teacher down. "Super kamikaze!"

The hand seals she performed with him stopped. Her head swayed and her eyes blinked slowly. "Tree apples also no good. I'm going to throw up."

The vomit projected into his face and he froze in shock. "All better now! Kamikaze!"

She finished her hand seals to the same result as the first time. Orochimaru got up and wiped the vomit off himself.

"It's not a forbidden jutsu," he stated, "but however, performing random handseals can be dangerous, especially using two people's charkas."
Brick

"Orange"

Visiting Hayate, Anko had learned about a super secretive mission that the Hokage had not given her. This propped her to stand outside the head quarters of Konoha flipping an orange brick in her. The crowd around her gave her some space as she swore incoherently.

"Mutter fluckin' Hoeage," Anko threw the brick over the gate and into the window of the office of the Hokage.

"Ms. Mitarshi," Sandaime said, "I demand that you show respect to the people who run this village."

"Ooahhaa!" Anko shrieked and the furniture coaster stuck in her throat made her cough. She turned around to run away and knocked into a cart full of oranges. One fell on the ground. "Roed worage!"

She stepped off the orange and tried to eat it but it would not keep down.

"Swit!" Anko cursed and dashed off.