Chapter Three
Abby's Diary
Dear Diary,
Oh god. I really don't know what I'm going to do. What I'm supposed to do? I found out this morning that I was pregnant. I know for sure that it's Luka's but I don't know how he's going to react. See, he lost his family a few years ago when his apartment was in the way of war. He loved his wife very much as well as his son and his daughter. But me, I don't know how he feels about me.
Oh god, how am I supposed to tell him? Wait a minute maybe I won't have to tell him. I could put the baby up for adoption like Deb did. But I would have the weight to worry about as well as the added pregnancy hormones. I could get an abortion but that's just so...so terrible. I've already hade to go through that once. I don't think that another little baby should suffer because of my stupid mistakes.
I've tried to calm down and think about this but it's just so hard. I mean what if the baby carries the bipolar gene that I might carry from my mother? That's the reason I got my first abortion. It was still back in the days of Richard.
I've tried to think on the positive side...but then I thought what positive side? Is there anything positive coming out of this? I love Luka so much! Maybe with all my heart.
The only reason I question this is the recent feelings I've been having towards Carter. I know that it's wrong but he just seemed so helpless and small when he came back from rehab.
But I've seen him making eyes at Lucy and I know that she definitely feels love for him too. I mean how couldn't you?
Richard came to work today and demanded that I pay the rent for his stupid boarding house. The nerve of him to come down to my work and make demands for my hard earned money. I don't think he understands that I need to keep a roof over my head too. I felt relieved when Luka came to my rescue and called security down. But with those feelings of relief came those of guilt and the knowledge in the back of my head that I'll have to tell him soon. Maybe I should just wait and see what he says. See what he wants to do.
I love Luka with all my heart but sometimes I wonder if he really, honestly, and truly loves me back.
Sorry it took me so long to update guys! My beta reader is MIA. Starr where are you!!!??
Dru619