A/N: Sorry that I took long to update and I'm sorry that it's such a short
chapter. I haven't really been feeling well. I have been depressed and
found that I could not continue. I'm kinda hitting a writers block on this
story so if you have any suggestions, please do, suggest.
The Cleansing Potion
Severus sat in a rather large armchair in his living room of his private quarters of Hogwarts castle. He had his knees pulled up to his chest and his head was resting on his arms. This was a rather uncharacteristic thing for him to do. He had never sat like this before. Well he had, but that was when he had been a young boy.
When he arrived at the castle the first thing that he had done was take the cleansing potion, but now that he thought back on it he wished he hadn't. He now knew why he was compelled to draw her, loved her company and did not mind when she teased him. He had not known this before or parhaps he had simply been in denile, but he now knew that it was that made him do all these things.
He was not only sexually attracted to her, but he knew that it went further than that. That nights that they spent together was enough to send him head over heels for her. He closed his eyes and rested his head on his arms. He could remmeber the fell of her soft cheek on his fingertips. It felt like silk under his touch. Her lips where soft agaisnt his own. Her mouth tasted faintly of liquor. He remembered the feel of her pressed up against his body. She felt small, and so soft. He remembered the feel of her thigh.
Severus shook his head and looked up. He didn't want to think about it. He could feel his body begin to ache for the feel of her and since he could not provide her to his body he simply had to stop the thoughts. If he continued, he was simply putting his body and all of himself in torture. He knew that he could not have her. She was McGonegalls daughter, for pity's sake! Plus she was many years younger than him. And above all she was beautiful and undoubtedly wouldn't want him.
Than again she had responded eagerly to his kiss. She hadn't pushed him away until he had placed his hand on he thighs. On top of that she acted quite normally in the morning. She wasn't repulsed or disgusted at the sieght of him. That meant that she was definetly hiding something. Perhaps she too wanted something beyond a friendship.
He sighed as he found that he was very confused. He got up and walked over to his bedroom. He strode in with his usual regal grace and swept over to his nightstand. He pulled out a pencil and his sketchbook from the drawer and than walked back into the living room. He sat down in his armchair and opened his sketchbook to a black page. He put his pencil to the paper and began to draw.
Drawing usually kept his mind off of things. The reason for that being that he used all of his imagination and concentration into what he was drawing so that it would come out the way he wanted it to. He sat there for half an hour drawing. When he was through he looked at the drawing.
Once again he had drawn her. He had drawn her sitting on a couch looking down at a book in her lap. Her right hand was raking through her hair. Her neck was exposed and for some reason he had been compelled to draw a small bruise on her neck. Something small, yet vissible. He didn't know why, but he just felt that he had to draw some sort of marking on that perfect pale neck of hers. Her neck was just simply beging to be kissed, touched and licked.
He got up and walked over to his room. He dropped the sketchbook on his bed and spun around to walk out of his room. It was dinner time and he needed to got get something to eat. As he made his way down the hall. He didn't in particular wish to see any of his co-workers, but he was hungry.
He soon reached the great hall and made his way to the High Table. He took his usual seat. "Hello Severus," he heard Sinistra say.
"Hello Sinistra," he responded
"Did you have fun last night?" She asked. He turned to look at her and found that she wasn't looking at him. He was used to talking to Sinistra with her looking at him. To have her looking straight forward while talking to him was strange.
"Whatever do you mean?" he asked. At this there was something that resembled a snort, that came from her and she leaned back.
"Severus, do not play dumb with me. I may constantly have my head in the clouds, but that doesn't mean I am completely oblivious. You did not come back to the castle last night, many of the teachers noticed. Where were you and did you have fun?" she said and finally she turned to look at him.
"No I did not have fun and I was doing my duty until I got drunk and Cynthia took me to her home," he responded. At this Sinistra raised her right brow. "We didn't do anything. She has a rather large home and I stayed in a guest room."
"I didn't say anything Severus," she said.
"You implied it."
"I did not. I know that you would not lay a finger and Cynthia."
"Why is that?"
"For one thing Severus, you don't care to get close to anybody. Second of all, she's McGonegalls daughter and that alone should restrain you from doing so. And third of all, she is much more younger than you," she responded.
"Sinistra, since when do you care?" he asked. She turned to look at him and a small smile came over her face.
"And what gives you the impresion that I DO care. I was merely asking a question that's on everybody's mind. You know Severus the world doesn't revolve around you," She said icily with the same cruel smile in place. "Have a good day Severus," she said as she stood up and walked away.
Severus watched as his co-worker walked away in shocked silence. Sinistra had never been so icy with him, well to tell the truth, he had never even see her be icy with anyone. He shook his head. Everything seemed to be insane at the moment. Nothing really made any sense. He soon got up as he realised that he wasn't hungry anymore, but instead of making his way down to the Dungeons he made his way to the Astronomy Tower. He didn't know why, but he did it anyway.
As he walked up the stairs to the tower he stopped when he reached the door. He took a deep breath and walked in. As he did so he found Sinistra sitting at her desk. Sinistra imidiately looked up and was surprised to see him standing there. "Severus what are you doing here?" she asked.
"Well Sinistra I couldn't help, but notice that you're not exactly bieng yourself," he responded. He walked over to her desk, hardly bieng able to see her from where he was standing. He didn't know how she could possibly do anything in the astronomy tower. It was simply too dakr to see anything. He noticed that she sat back and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Severus what makes you think that I'm not being myself?" she asked.
"Well for one thing you're usually an aloof person and never say anything to anger someone," he responded. This caused her to smile.
"Did I vex you Severus?" she asked in a tone of voice that he did not like. "Awww, poor Sevie, he was angered with the inocent words that didn't sound nice to his ears," she said in that way a mother speaks to her child. He glared at her and she smiled. "You are much to easy to rile up, you know Severus," she said in her normal tone with a smile gracing her lips.
"Will you please just answer the question?" he said throught clenched teeth. She than leaned forward on her desk and loooked up at him.
"Well Severus to answer your question, you're right. I'm not bieng myself. You see I have come to realize that I have lived my whole life bieng my mom and dads perfect little girl. Always in control of my emotions, always doing my work to my very best, never getting myself in other's business, never having a boyfriend or even a small fling. But now I realize that I haven't been living at all," she said as she got up. She walked around the desk and stood before him. "You see now I'm going to enjoy myself. I don't want to be the perfect Ravenclaw geek. I want to let loose. I'm young and life's too short."
"Life is the longest thing you'll ever do," he said. At this she looked down and looked up at the enchanted cieling with stars.
"Severus when you look in the sky and see the stars what do you see?" she asked all of a sudden.
"Well," he said. "A whole bunch of dots in the sky."
"Well when I look into the stars I see constallations and the future," she said. She turned to look at him. "I heave been reading the stars for myself since I was eight years old. My mum taught me how when I was little. Since than I have been able to read the future with myself with an increasing amount of precisness. It's been perfected where I can read the future exactly."
"Well that's something to be proud of," Severus said sarcastically. She turned to look at him.
"Well it's something that I'm proud of," she said. "Now when I said Life's too short, well, I mean my life."
"Wait, I don't believe I understand," he said turning to look at her. She turned to look at him with a weary smile.
"For the past couple of months I have seen something dark looming in my future. Yesterday it became quite clear what it was," she responded. "I have until spring to live." Severus looked at her and could not believe what she had said.
"Are you absolutely sure?" he asked.
"I told you Severus, I have learned to read the stars with a devine clarity as to what's to come. It's for sure," she responded. Severus was shocked and he did not know what to say. What do you say to someone who knows when they would die?
"Is there any chance that this might not happen?" he asked.
"Well there is. There is the teeny, tiny chance that something will change and that all plans would have to be altered including my future, but than again I doubt that it will happen," she responded. "I guess it's just fine. After all it's not like I wanted to die all old and mouldy. And they do say that deah is only the begining of a new adventure." Severus merely stared at her and did not understand how she could seemingly take it so lightly. "Well Severus, I must be going now. I have plans this evening. I think I'll go visit my family."
He noded and watched her walk away. She walked toward the door and opened it. Before he knew it she dissapeared down the stairs. He looked up at the stars and swallowed a lump in his throat. He wondered what it would be like to lose Sinistra as a colleague. To lose Sinistra as a friend. To just plainly lose Sinistra. He sighed and made his way to the door. Sleep would not come easy.
TBC
A/N: Okay I did not expect the chapter to trun out like this. I wonder if I'll actually have the heart to harm Sinistra? Well you'll have to wait and find out. So anyway Please Review!
The Cleansing Potion
Severus sat in a rather large armchair in his living room of his private quarters of Hogwarts castle. He had his knees pulled up to his chest and his head was resting on his arms. This was a rather uncharacteristic thing for him to do. He had never sat like this before. Well he had, but that was when he had been a young boy.
When he arrived at the castle the first thing that he had done was take the cleansing potion, but now that he thought back on it he wished he hadn't. He now knew why he was compelled to draw her, loved her company and did not mind when she teased him. He had not known this before or parhaps he had simply been in denile, but he now knew that it was that made him do all these things.
He was not only sexually attracted to her, but he knew that it went further than that. That nights that they spent together was enough to send him head over heels for her. He closed his eyes and rested his head on his arms. He could remmeber the fell of her soft cheek on his fingertips. It felt like silk under his touch. Her lips where soft agaisnt his own. Her mouth tasted faintly of liquor. He remembered the feel of her pressed up against his body. She felt small, and so soft. He remembered the feel of her thigh.
Severus shook his head and looked up. He didn't want to think about it. He could feel his body begin to ache for the feel of her and since he could not provide her to his body he simply had to stop the thoughts. If he continued, he was simply putting his body and all of himself in torture. He knew that he could not have her. She was McGonegalls daughter, for pity's sake! Plus she was many years younger than him. And above all she was beautiful and undoubtedly wouldn't want him.
Than again she had responded eagerly to his kiss. She hadn't pushed him away until he had placed his hand on he thighs. On top of that she acted quite normally in the morning. She wasn't repulsed or disgusted at the sieght of him. That meant that she was definetly hiding something. Perhaps she too wanted something beyond a friendship.
He sighed as he found that he was very confused. He got up and walked over to his bedroom. He strode in with his usual regal grace and swept over to his nightstand. He pulled out a pencil and his sketchbook from the drawer and than walked back into the living room. He sat down in his armchair and opened his sketchbook to a black page. He put his pencil to the paper and began to draw.
Drawing usually kept his mind off of things. The reason for that being that he used all of his imagination and concentration into what he was drawing so that it would come out the way he wanted it to. He sat there for half an hour drawing. When he was through he looked at the drawing.
Once again he had drawn her. He had drawn her sitting on a couch looking down at a book in her lap. Her right hand was raking through her hair. Her neck was exposed and for some reason he had been compelled to draw a small bruise on her neck. Something small, yet vissible. He didn't know why, but he just felt that he had to draw some sort of marking on that perfect pale neck of hers. Her neck was just simply beging to be kissed, touched and licked.
He got up and walked over to his room. He dropped the sketchbook on his bed and spun around to walk out of his room. It was dinner time and he needed to got get something to eat. As he made his way down the hall. He didn't in particular wish to see any of his co-workers, but he was hungry.
He soon reached the great hall and made his way to the High Table. He took his usual seat. "Hello Severus," he heard Sinistra say.
"Hello Sinistra," he responded
"Did you have fun last night?" She asked. He turned to look at her and found that she wasn't looking at him. He was used to talking to Sinistra with her looking at him. To have her looking straight forward while talking to him was strange.
"Whatever do you mean?" he asked. At this there was something that resembled a snort, that came from her and she leaned back.
"Severus, do not play dumb with me. I may constantly have my head in the clouds, but that doesn't mean I am completely oblivious. You did not come back to the castle last night, many of the teachers noticed. Where were you and did you have fun?" she said and finally she turned to look at him.
"No I did not have fun and I was doing my duty until I got drunk and Cynthia took me to her home," he responded. At this Sinistra raised her right brow. "We didn't do anything. She has a rather large home and I stayed in a guest room."
"I didn't say anything Severus," she said.
"You implied it."
"I did not. I know that you would not lay a finger and Cynthia."
"Why is that?"
"For one thing Severus, you don't care to get close to anybody. Second of all, she's McGonegalls daughter and that alone should restrain you from doing so. And third of all, she is much more younger than you," she responded.
"Sinistra, since when do you care?" he asked. She turned to look at him and a small smile came over her face.
"And what gives you the impresion that I DO care. I was merely asking a question that's on everybody's mind. You know Severus the world doesn't revolve around you," She said icily with the same cruel smile in place. "Have a good day Severus," she said as she stood up and walked away.
Severus watched as his co-worker walked away in shocked silence. Sinistra had never been so icy with him, well to tell the truth, he had never even see her be icy with anyone. He shook his head. Everything seemed to be insane at the moment. Nothing really made any sense. He soon got up as he realised that he wasn't hungry anymore, but instead of making his way down to the Dungeons he made his way to the Astronomy Tower. He didn't know why, but he did it anyway.
As he walked up the stairs to the tower he stopped when he reached the door. He took a deep breath and walked in. As he did so he found Sinistra sitting at her desk. Sinistra imidiately looked up and was surprised to see him standing there. "Severus what are you doing here?" she asked.
"Well Sinistra I couldn't help, but notice that you're not exactly bieng yourself," he responded. He walked over to her desk, hardly bieng able to see her from where he was standing. He didn't know how she could possibly do anything in the astronomy tower. It was simply too dakr to see anything. He noticed that she sat back and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Severus what makes you think that I'm not being myself?" she asked.
"Well for one thing you're usually an aloof person and never say anything to anger someone," he responded. This caused her to smile.
"Did I vex you Severus?" she asked in a tone of voice that he did not like. "Awww, poor Sevie, he was angered with the inocent words that didn't sound nice to his ears," she said in that way a mother speaks to her child. He glared at her and she smiled. "You are much to easy to rile up, you know Severus," she said in her normal tone with a smile gracing her lips.
"Will you please just answer the question?" he said throught clenched teeth. She than leaned forward on her desk and loooked up at him.
"Well Severus to answer your question, you're right. I'm not bieng myself. You see I have come to realize that I have lived my whole life bieng my mom and dads perfect little girl. Always in control of my emotions, always doing my work to my very best, never getting myself in other's business, never having a boyfriend or even a small fling. But now I realize that I haven't been living at all," she said as she got up. She walked around the desk and stood before him. "You see now I'm going to enjoy myself. I don't want to be the perfect Ravenclaw geek. I want to let loose. I'm young and life's too short."
"Life is the longest thing you'll ever do," he said. At this she looked down and looked up at the enchanted cieling with stars.
"Severus when you look in the sky and see the stars what do you see?" she asked all of a sudden.
"Well," he said. "A whole bunch of dots in the sky."
"Well when I look into the stars I see constallations and the future," she said. She turned to look at him. "I heave been reading the stars for myself since I was eight years old. My mum taught me how when I was little. Since than I have been able to read the future with myself with an increasing amount of precisness. It's been perfected where I can read the future exactly."
"Well that's something to be proud of," Severus said sarcastically. She turned to look at him.
"Well it's something that I'm proud of," she said. "Now when I said Life's too short, well, I mean my life."
"Wait, I don't believe I understand," he said turning to look at her. She turned to look at him with a weary smile.
"For the past couple of months I have seen something dark looming in my future. Yesterday it became quite clear what it was," she responded. "I have until spring to live." Severus looked at her and could not believe what she had said.
"Are you absolutely sure?" he asked.
"I told you Severus, I have learned to read the stars with a devine clarity as to what's to come. It's for sure," she responded. Severus was shocked and he did not know what to say. What do you say to someone who knows when they would die?
"Is there any chance that this might not happen?" he asked.
"Well there is. There is the teeny, tiny chance that something will change and that all plans would have to be altered including my future, but than again I doubt that it will happen," she responded. "I guess it's just fine. After all it's not like I wanted to die all old and mouldy. And they do say that deah is only the begining of a new adventure." Severus merely stared at her and did not understand how she could seemingly take it so lightly. "Well Severus, I must be going now. I have plans this evening. I think I'll go visit my family."
He noded and watched her walk away. She walked toward the door and opened it. Before he knew it she dissapeared down the stairs. He looked up at the stars and swallowed a lump in his throat. He wondered what it would be like to lose Sinistra as a colleague. To lose Sinistra as a friend. To just plainly lose Sinistra. He sighed and made his way to the door. Sleep would not come easy.
TBC
A/N: Okay I did not expect the chapter to trun out like this. I wonder if I'll actually have the heart to harm Sinistra? Well you'll have to wait and find out. So anyway Please Review!