(A/N): Woohoo! I got reviews! Keep 'em coming. It's come to my attention
that a few of you are calling me out for making Mystique a bit OOCness in
nature... Well, duh! The whole storyline is wacky! How can I fit their
regular personalities into something so crazy?! I mean, I doubt Wolverine
would be acting all big and bad if someone wanted to castrate him! Let's
find out... Muwhahahaha!
Chapter 3: Reaction at the Mansion a.k.a. Studs and Thuds
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"What are you talking about?! There are all sorts of influential super heroines!" Jubilation Lee yelled as she threw a handful of popcorn at Bobby Drake. His girlfriend, Rogue, who was sitting right beside him on the couch, punched him in the arm.
"Ow! I'm just saying that most if not all, super hero girls are kinda lame. Ow!" This time it was Kitty who threw the book she was reading at him. Not surprisingly it was a copy of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."
"I think you could use that book a lot more than I can, Bobby. Either that or "Women for Dummies"." Kitty replied wryly.
Noticing that he was out numbered, Bobby latched onto to the closet available male he could find. Lucky for him Pieter happened to be walking by.
"Pete! Help me out. Name one really cool, girl, super hero."
Colossus stepped in front of the others and frowned. "I cannot think of one. I'd say, maybe... Wonder Woman?"
The girls hooted and hollered and Colossus grinned smugly.
Bobby just scoffed. "Please. That Amazon looking Hercules is probably popping testosterone pills as we speak. OW! Would you stop hitting me, Rogue!!!"
Rogue smirked. "Stop acting like a boob and I will. Besides, there are tons of strong, female super heroes. Batgirl, Supergirl and what about Spiderwoman?!"
Having heard little bits of the conversation already, who but the Cajun should happen to appear to give his input.
"As much as it pains Remy to say this, cherie, because you know no one loves the ladies as much as Remy, but those fillets flying and swinging aroun' are nothing but cheap additions to their male counter parts. Spiderwoman is the only one who doesn't have the word 'girl' in her title. Not that she could pull it off as shapely as she is..."
Booby and even Colossus grunted in agreement, but Jubilee and Kitty made sure to hit them each, Rogue hitting Bobby as she did before. Loud, manly Ow's reverberated in the rec room, causing some of the younger children to snicker.
"As much as the children seem to be enjoying the show, I can't have you pummeling the boys. It doesn't seem like proper school etiquette." Storm commented in mocked sternness as she walked into the room.
Rogue looked over at the white-haired teacher. "Seeing as this is a school, we had to teach them a lesson. They said that they're aren't any really cool super heroines."
Storm looked at Bobby, Remy and Pete with an indignant expression. "What am I then?!"
As if it just dawned on them that she was indeed a super hero... And a woman... And the teacher who will be grading their finals, each boy began to sputter.
"Of course we weren't talking about you!" Bobby replied nervously, Remy and Pete backing him up with a chorus of "No's."
Storm looked at them skeptically. "Riiight. Then you won't mind doing a report for me? Something on Influential Women of Our Time, should do nicely." Kitty, Rogue and Jubilee laughed at the crestfallen faces and the smug look on Storm's face.
"No, ma'am." The boys said in unison as Storm walked off.
Bobby looked down and pouted as he folded his arms, stubbornly. "I still think that they're aren't any really cool superhero girls. She's a teacher! She gets cool points deducted because of that!"
"And exactly how many "cool points" should be taken from you for actually using the term "cool points"?" Rogue asked sweetly as Bobby stuck his tongue out at her.
Rogue rolled her eyes and hit Bobby again, this time ignoring the "OW" that came from beside her. She instead turned her attention to the television. Apparently some important decision was just made in Congress...
"This just in..." The anchorman announced. "It seems that an important new bill was just passed in Congress. It seems that to eliminate the Mutant Epidemic, Senator Kelly has proposed that all men at or over the age of 18 will be castrated... What?! This can't be right! Can we get a second source to verify this!!!!!! We do?! A second and third source?!...The third be the senator himself... Oh...well then..."
The anchorman promptly fainted, leaving the anchorwoman on the other side to have to fill in.
"Well... You've heard it here first. The bill is called Operation: Castration or OPC. The plan is to have males castrated by the time they are 18 but to have sperm taken from them before the operation. This is to see if they are carrying the mutant gene. If they aren't, the sperm will be used to impregnate a woman to ensure another generation. But even if the gene is found, they hope to fine a way to isolate it and have it removed... Wow. That sucks for you, huh Tom?"
Her partner was still on the floor groaning as his assistant tried to slap him into consciousness. The anchorwoman, Catherine, just shrugged. "Now on to the winning lottery numbers! 2, 10, 88..."
And so, their they were, some, sitting, some standing but all were watching the TV screen, mouths open and the boys only, with tears in their eyes.
"...mommy..." Bobby squeaked as he fainted, his head slumping over and falling into Rogue's lap, causing her to jump up in surprise.
Remy and Pete, equally shocked turned their heads slowly to look at each other before fainting, falling backwards and producing a nice, clear duo "Thud." All over the mansion, "thuds" could be heard, the men dropping like flies. The only two men in the whole house who didn't faint were currently racing down the stairs trying to trip each other over as they made their way to the front door.
"Where in the Hell do you think you're going, bub?!" Wolverine yelled/shrieked, his voice taking on an unusually high tone from the gruff, bad ass one he seemed to be born with.
Scott straightened the sweater he was wearing, getting his head out of the sleeve from when Logan snatched him by the collar to get ahead.
"What does it look like I'm doing?! I'm heading south! Spring Break is just around the corner and I'm heading to Cancun before I get butchered!"
Scott walked toward the door to get out of the entrance but Wolverine stopped him.
"Oh no, One Eye. You think you can waltz aroun' here with his hair cut and not actually be Mr. America?! No, your country needs you!"
Logan gave Scott a mock salute.
"Do your country a service and drop your pants! I'm getting the Hell outta dodge and going home to Canada! So long, Yankie!"
Wolverine pushed Scott back and grabbed the doorknob but was stopped when he heard Professor Xavier's voice in his head.
"Logan, if you walk out that door I will undoubtly make sure you live the rest of your many days under the impression that you're a nine-year-old schoolgirl. Then it won't matter if you have that operation or not!"
The threatening urgency in the professor's voice stopped Logan dead in his tracks.
"Dammit! Fine!" Logan growled.
"Oh and Logan, could you and Scott get up here quick? I require your assistance." Xavier asked, a bit sheepishly. What they didn't know was that as cool and stoic as he is, even Xavier felt the effects of the impending doom and had fainted. Unfortunately for him, now he couldn't get up...
Scott grinned smugly as the two walked up the stairs, heading toward the Professor's room.
"Isn't it ironic? The one place you don't have adamantium is the part of you they want to cut... If they see you recover I wondering if they'll just keep cutting and cutting... OW!!!!!"
This time Logan stuffed Scott's whole body in one of his sleeves...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
R&R
Funny? Wanna read more? Review! The more reviews I get the more guilt I'll feel if I don't update quickly so I'll definitely update sooner if I get more reviews!!!!!!!!
Chapter 3: Reaction at the Mansion a.k.a. Studs and Thuds
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"What are you talking about?! There are all sorts of influential super heroines!" Jubilation Lee yelled as she threw a handful of popcorn at Bobby Drake. His girlfriend, Rogue, who was sitting right beside him on the couch, punched him in the arm.
"Ow! I'm just saying that most if not all, super hero girls are kinda lame. Ow!" This time it was Kitty who threw the book she was reading at him. Not surprisingly it was a copy of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."
"I think you could use that book a lot more than I can, Bobby. Either that or "Women for Dummies"." Kitty replied wryly.
Noticing that he was out numbered, Bobby latched onto to the closet available male he could find. Lucky for him Pieter happened to be walking by.
"Pete! Help me out. Name one really cool, girl, super hero."
Colossus stepped in front of the others and frowned. "I cannot think of one. I'd say, maybe... Wonder Woman?"
The girls hooted and hollered and Colossus grinned smugly.
Bobby just scoffed. "Please. That Amazon looking Hercules is probably popping testosterone pills as we speak. OW! Would you stop hitting me, Rogue!!!"
Rogue smirked. "Stop acting like a boob and I will. Besides, there are tons of strong, female super heroes. Batgirl, Supergirl and what about Spiderwoman?!"
Having heard little bits of the conversation already, who but the Cajun should happen to appear to give his input.
"As much as it pains Remy to say this, cherie, because you know no one loves the ladies as much as Remy, but those fillets flying and swinging aroun' are nothing but cheap additions to their male counter parts. Spiderwoman is the only one who doesn't have the word 'girl' in her title. Not that she could pull it off as shapely as she is..."
Booby and even Colossus grunted in agreement, but Jubilee and Kitty made sure to hit them each, Rogue hitting Bobby as she did before. Loud, manly Ow's reverberated in the rec room, causing some of the younger children to snicker.
"As much as the children seem to be enjoying the show, I can't have you pummeling the boys. It doesn't seem like proper school etiquette." Storm commented in mocked sternness as she walked into the room.
Rogue looked over at the white-haired teacher. "Seeing as this is a school, we had to teach them a lesson. They said that they're aren't any really cool super heroines."
Storm looked at Bobby, Remy and Pete with an indignant expression. "What am I then?!"
As if it just dawned on them that she was indeed a super hero... And a woman... And the teacher who will be grading their finals, each boy began to sputter.
"Of course we weren't talking about you!" Bobby replied nervously, Remy and Pete backing him up with a chorus of "No's."
Storm looked at them skeptically. "Riiight. Then you won't mind doing a report for me? Something on Influential Women of Our Time, should do nicely." Kitty, Rogue and Jubilee laughed at the crestfallen faces and the smug look on Storm's face.
"No, ma'am." The boys said in unison as Storm walked off.
Bobby looked down and pouted as he folded his arms, stubbornly. "I still think that they're aren't any really cool superhero girls. She's a teacher! She gets cool points deducted because of that!"
"And exactly how many "cool points" should be taken from you for actually using the term "cool points"?" Rogue asked sweetly as Bobby stuck his tongue out at her.
Rogue rolled her eyes and hit Bobby again, this time ignoring the "OW" that came from beside her. She instead turned her attention to the television. Apparently some important decision was just made in Congress...
"This just in..." The anchorman announced. "It seems that an important new bill was just passed in Congress. It seems that to eliminate the Mutant Epidemic, Senator Kelly has proposed that all men at or over the age of 18 will be castrated... What?! This can't be right! Can we get a second source to verify this!!!!!! We do?! A second and third source?!...The third be the senator himself... Oh...well then..."
The anchorman promptly fainted, leaving the anchorwoman on the other side to have to fill in.
"Well... You've heard it here first. The bill is called Operation: Castration or OPC. The plan is to have males castrated by the time they are 18 but to have sperm taken from them before the operation. This is to see if they are carrying the mutant gene. If they aren't, the sperm will be used to impregnate a woman to ensure another generation. But even if the gene is found, they hope to fine a way to isolate it and have it removed... Wow. That sucks for you, huh Tom?"
Her partner was still on the floor groaning as his assistant tried to slap him into consciousness. The anchorwoman, Catherine, just shrugged. "Now on to the winning lottery numbers! 2, 10, 88..."
And so, their they were, some, sitting, some standing but all were watching the TV screen, mouths open and the boys only, with tears in their eyes.
"...mommy..." Bobby squeaked as he fainted, his head slumping over and falling into Rogue's lap, causing her to jump up in surprise.
Remy and Pete, equally shocked turned their heads slowly to look at each other before fainting, falling backwards and producing a nice, clear duo "Thud." All over the mansion, "thuds" could be heard, the men dropping like flies. The only two men in the whole house who didn't faint were currently racing down the stairs trying to trip each other over as they made their way to the front door.
"Where in the Hell do you think you're going, bub?!" Wolverine yelled/shrieked, his voice taking on an unusually high tone from the gruff, bad ass one he seemed to be born with.
Scott straightened the sweater he was wearing, getting his head out of the sleeve from when Logan snatched him by the collar to get ahead.
"What does it look like I'm doing?! I'm heading south! Spring Break is just around the corner and I'm heading to Cancun before I get butchered!"
Scott walked toward the door to get out of the entrance but Wolverine stopped him.
"Oh no, One Eye. You think you can waltz aroun' here with his hair cut and not actually be Mr. America?! No, your country needs you!"
Logan gave Scott a mock salute.
"Do your country a service and drop your pants! I'm getting the Hell outta dodge and going home to Canada! So long, Yankie!"
Wolverine pushed Scott back and grabbed the doorknob but was stopped when he heard Professor Xavier's voice in his head.
"Logan, if you walk out that door I will undoubtly make sure you live the rest of your many days under the impression that you're a nine-year-old schoolgirl. Then it won't matter if you have that operation or not!"
The threatening urgency in the professor's voice stopped Logan dead in his tracks.
"Dammit! Fine!" Logan growled.
"Oh and Logan, could you and Scott get up here quick? I require your assistance." Xavier asked, a bit sheepishly. What they didn't know was that as cool and stoic as he is, even Xavier felt the effects of the impending doom and had fainted. Unfortunately for him, now he couldn't get up...
Scott grinned smugly as the two walked up the stairs, heading toward the Professor's room.
"Isn't it ironic? The one place you don't have adamantium is the part of you they want to cut... If they see you recover I wondering if they'll just keep cutting and cutting... OW!!!!!"
This time Logan stuffed Scott's whole body in one of his sleeves...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
R&R
Funny? Wanna read more? Review! The more reviews I get the more guilt I'll feel if I don't update quickly so I'll definitely update sooner if I get more reviews!!!!!!!!