The humid afternoon had finally started to get a bit cooler, becoming
less warm with more clouds peaking through the horizon. As Alan Smith
was coming out of his apartment door, he had decided against leaving
his jacket behind, knowing it was going to rain by the time he got back
home. He had even considered putting a warmer shirt on, but there was
no time. He had to get out before he drove himself insane. His faded
green-blue pants were held up loosely by a brown belt, revealing the
toes of his high-converse blue shoes. The front of his blue button-up
long sleeve shirt was tucked in, loosely fitted around the white
t-shirt underneath. He kept the first four buttons unbuttoned, giving
him a more comfortable, casual look.
He climbed into his truck and put the key in the ignition. It started right up and Alan sped off down the road, not caring or knowing where he was going to end up.
At 5:10, Rachel Harrison, now a more mature, good-looking young woman…opened her apartment door as best as she could, holding many luggage bags that she brought home from work. All of them were full of her photography gear; cameras of all different sizes, a very large flat printer, film, and large notebooks filled with different entries and writings where Rachel recorded all of her discoveries and adventures. Her hair had been cut and kept in the same style since the day she had accepted that Alan was never going to find her. It was neck-length, brown with different shades of highlights, and flipped out naturally. She had only spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom that morning and her hair had still maintained its original style, flippy and cute, with only hairspray and gel for the products.
Rachel set down all of the bags on her small, but comfortable, couch and tossed her keys on the kitchen table. She took off her long knee-length woolen coat, which was drenched with the raindrops from outside, and hung it up on the coat rack by the door….kicking off her shoes. She grabbed her warm zip-up green and white sweater and pulled it around herself, turning up the heat in the apartment.
She opened the refrigerator door and grabbed the leftover spaghetti from the day before. She hurried, since she was looking forward to relaxing for the rest of the night, after a very difficult day at work. She pulled off the cap of the container, and was just about to open the microwave when she saw that the message light was flashing on her answering machine. She paused, set down the food, and pressed the button.
It was the voice of one of her best friends; 19 year old Lexie Daniels.
Hey, girl! How you doin'? Have you been avoiding us lately? Haha, you know I'm just kidding. We just miss you! But we know that you have a good job you need to keep up with. Well…anyway, that's beside the point. Okay, Kristy and Lindsey made me call you. I told them you weren't getting off work until 5, but they still made me. They just wanted me to let you know that they're taking a trip up to Washington State and they're inviting all of us girls to go with them and have a fun relaxing time for a couple weeks. It's not a big tourist state, but I think that's why they chose it. There's a lot of cool places, quiet ones if you like quiet. Or loud. It's a city-country state, for lack of a better term. I have a feeling that you won't be able to get your boss to give you a couple weeks off, but just really try and persuade him, Rachel. Throw in his face that you haven't even had one day off since last year.
Rachel laughed at that comment as she put the spaghetti in the microwave. Lexie sure had style. Last year was only one month ago.
And you need this Rachel. Not to mean it against you or anything, but you've been working so hard and there's been a lot of weight on your shoulders lately.
Rachel smiled sympathetically. Lexie and Cate were the only ones that knew how she truly felt about Alan and how they haven't gotten together. And they both also know that she has finally given him up.
So anyway, I called Cate, Courtney, and Jessica…and they're all for it. They're ready to get outta here for a while. I left a message at Andi-Lee's and Hannah's, they'll call back later. Oh, and just so you know…well, I'm sure you would want to know…there will be no boyfriends allowed on this trip. We need some girl time. Okay, well call me chica, when you get this or when you have the time. Talk to ya later Rachel. Everyone says hi! Another beep sounded to indicate the message was over.
Rachel was extremely looking forward to it, if only she could find a way to get her boss to negotiate something. He was a short, skimpy little bald guy with glasses …but his mind worked masterpieces. He was always throwing clever sayings at his clients and associates, especially Rachel. And he always found a good way to get the clients their time, hence…their money. That's why Rachel could never turn him down. No matter what, Rachel was always guaranteed that she would get her money. And that never changed. But he seriously needed to spend at least a day with Courtney, for some extra-special fashion advice. He sure needed it.
Rachel sighed exhaustedly as she sat down on the couch. She set down her blue Gatorade drink on the side-table next to the couch, and clicked on her stereo. She kept the plate on her lap, and between bites of spaghetti she sang along beautifully with Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor, in their song "Come What May" from the Moulin Rouge original soundtrack. Since the very day she had moved in, she had taken voice lessons from an older lady in the apartment right next to hers.
Rachel sighed, this time out of disappointment and sadness. Inside, she had never let go of Alan. Everyone else in her life thought she had gotten over him, except for Cate and Lexie. The Rachel that was at Camp Green Lake, the one that had kept Alan forever, still lingered deep inside, waiting for him to return. And never resting peacefully until he did. And every once in a while, in some of Rachel's most lonely moments and days, that other Rachel will sneak up on her and sink her down into the most deep, heart-breaking pool of tragedy. But it also gives her a tinge of hope and more awareness of the wonderful never-ending memories. And the fantasy that he did come back, the fairy tale that lived inside her. She had never let go of that.
Alan pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and rolled down the window of his cousin's old light-blue pickup truck. He sighed as he strongly kept his right hand on the wheel, gripping it tightly. He kept to the back roads, not wanting to put up with the immature drivers that happened to pop up whenever Alan was stressed or in a hurry. He took his hand off the wheel for one moment as he clicked on the radio….
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Alan sighed and slammed on his breaks as he pulled over onto the side
of the road. Everywhere he went there was something, some kind of sign or gesture, that made Alan think of Rachel. He felt like the biggest loser on the planet. He had failed her, and something was always reminding him of it.
Alan lightly rested his head on the steering wheel as thoughts reared through his head. He couldn't get his mind off Rachel. Years later and he still couldn't forget about what he had promised her that night at camp, and how that promise more than likely won't be fulfilled.
But what made it worse was how that door, the romance slash relationship door, won't be open if he ever really would find Rachel.
Alan felt the vibrating of his phone, and pulled it out of his jacket pocket.
"Yeah." he said through the phone. His hopes faded and feelings disappeared when he heard the voice on the other end.
"No I'm fine babe…I've just had a rough day. No, it's all fine. Don't worry. If I'm not back tonight, I'll see you when you wake up in the morning. Okay, I love you too. Buh-bye."
Alan clipped the top of the phone down and tossed it onto the passenger seat. He opened the door and stepped out into the now pouring rain. He slammed the door shut.
Alan's thoughts never stopped haunting him, and continued to affect his entire life. He rested his head on his hands on the top of his pickup truck.
As the rain continued to bear down hard on Alan, soaking his clothes, he never moved. He just stood there, and in place of his tears…the rain trickled down his face. He didn't have any tears left, they had all gone. He has never cried since the very day where he had accepted the fact that him and Rachel were over. The same day that Rachel got her hair cut.
Rachel, a little too harshly, tossed her dishes into the sink. They didn't break, but it made a loud clash once it had landed. She had already suffered depression a year ago and she didn't need to get into it again. Lexie was right, she desperately needed to get away. But she knew, no matter what happened, nothing could ever get her mind off Alan. Every day she had thought about him, and about how different her life might've been if he had kept his promise.
---
Song for this chapter…
"Feelin' The Same Way" by Norah Jones
The sun just slipped its note
below my door
And I can't hide beneath my sheets
I've read the words before
so now I know
Time has come again for me
And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend
Another day that I can't find my head
My feet don't look like they're my own
I'll try and find the floor below to stand
I hope I reach it once again
And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend
oh...
So many times I've wondered where I've gone
And how I found my way back in
I look around awhile for something lost
Maybe I'll find it in the end
And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend
No matter how much I pretend
He climbed into his truck and put the key in the ignition. It started right up and Alan sped off down the road, not caring or knowing where he was going to end up.
At 5:10, Rachel Harrison, now a more mature, good-looking young woman…opened her apartment door as best as she could, holding many luggage bags that she brought home from work. All of them were full of her photography gear; cameras of all different sizes, a very large flat printer, film, and large notebooks filled with different entries and writings where Rachel recorded all of her discoveries and adventures. Her hair had been cut and kept in the same style since the day she had accepted that Alan was never going to find her. It was neck-length, brown with different shades of highlights, and flipped out naturally. She had only spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom that morning and her hair had still maintained its original style, flippy and cute, with only hairspray and gel for the products.
Rachel set down all of the bags on her small, but comfortable, couch and tossed her keys on the kitchen table. She took off her long knee-length woolen coat, which was drenched with the raindrops from outside, and hung it up on the coat rack by the door….kicking off her shoes. She grabbed her warm zip-up green and white sweater and pulled it around herself, turning up the heat in the apartment.
She opened the refrigerator door and grabbed the leftover spaghetti from the day before. She hurried, since she was looking forward to relaxing for the rest of the night, after a very difficult day at work. She pulled off the cap of the container, and was just about to open the microwave when she saw that the message light was flashing on her answering machine. She paused, set down the food, and pressed the button.
It was the voice of one of her best friends; 19 year old Lexie Daniels.
Hey, girl! How you doin'? Have you been avoiding us lately? Haha, you know I'm just kidding. We just miss you! But we know that you have a good job you need to keep up with. Well…anyway, that's beside the point. Okay, Kristy and Lindsey made me call you. I told them you weren't getting off work until 5, but they still made me. They just wanted me to let you know that they're taking a trip up to Washington State and they're inviting all of us girls to go with them and have a fun relaxing time for a couple weeks. It's not a big tourist state, but I think that's why they chose it. There's a lot of cool places, quiet ones if you like quiet. Or loud. It's a city-country state, for lack of a better term. I have a feeling that you won't be able to get your boss to give you a couple weeks off, but just really try and persuade him, Rachel. Throw in his face that you haven't even had one day off since last year.
Rachel laughed at that comment as she put the spaghetti in the microwave. Lexie sure had style. Last year was only one month ago.
And you need this Rachel. Not to mean it against you or anything, but you've been working so hard and there's been a lot of weight on your shoulders lately.
Rachel smiled sympathetically. Lexie and Cate were the only ones that knew how she truly felt about Alan and how they haven't gotten together. And they both also know that she has finally given him up.
So anyway, I called Cate, Courtney, and Jessica…and they're all for it. They're ready to get outta here for a while. I left a message at Andi-Lee's and Hannah's, they'll call back later. Oh, and just so you know…well, I'm sure you would want to know…there will be no boyfriends allowed on this trip. We need some girl time. Okay, well call me chica, when you get this or when you have the time. Talk to ya later Rachel. Everyone says hi! Another beep sounded to indicate the message was over.
Rachel was extremely looking forward to it, if only she could find a way to get her boss to negotiate something. He was a short, skimpy little bald guy with glasses …but his mind worked masterpieces. He was always throwing clever sayings at his clients and associates, especially Rachel. And he always found a good way to get the clients their time, hence…their money. That's why Rachel could never turn him down. No matter what, Rachel was always guaranteed that she would get her money. And that never changed. But he seriously needed to spend at least a day with Courtney, for some extra-special fashion advice. He sure needed it.
Rachel sighed exhaustedly as she sat down on the couch. She set down her blue Gatorade drink on the side-table next to the couch, and clicked on her stereo. She kept the plate on her lap, and between bites of spaghetti she sang along beautifully with Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor, in their song "Come What May" from the Moulin Rouge original soundtrack. Since the very day she had moved in, she had taken voice lessons from an older lady in the apartment right next to hers.
Rachel sighed, this time out of disappointment and sadness. Inside, she had never let go of Alan. Everyone else in her life thought she had gotten over him, except for Cate and Lexie. The Rachel that was at Camp Green Lake, the one that had kept Alan forever, still lingered deep inside, waiting for him to return. And never resting peacefully until he did. And every once in a while, in some of Rachel's most lonely moments and days, that other Rachel will sneak up on her and sink her down into the most deep, heart-breaking pool of tragedy. But it also gives her a tinge of hope and more awareness of the wonderful never-ending memories. And the fantasy that he did come back, the fairy tale that lived inside her. She had never let go of that.
Alan pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and rolled down the window of his cousin's old light-blue pickup truck. He sighed as he strongly kept his right hand on the wheel, gripping it tightly. He kept to the back roads, not wanting to put up with the immature drivers that happened to pop up whenever Alan was stressed or in a hurry. He took his hand off the wheel for one moment as he clicked on the radio….
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Alan sighed and slammed on his breaks as he pulled over onto the side
of the road. Everywhere he went there was something, some kind of sign or gesture, that made Alan think of Rachel. He felt like the biggest loser on the planet. He had failed her, and something was always reminding him of it.
Alan lightly rested his head on the steering wheel as thoughts reared through his head. He couldn't get his mind off Rachel. Years later and he still couldn't forget about what he had promised her that night at camp, and how that promise more than likely won't be fulfilled.
But what made it worse was how that door, the romance slash relationship door, won't be open if he ever really would find Rachel.
Alan felt the vibrating of his phone, and pulled it out of his jacket pocket.
"Yeah." he said through the phone. His hopes faded and feelings disappeared when he heard the voice on the other end.
"No I'm fine babe…I've just had a rough day. No, it's all fine. Don't worry. If I'm not back tonight, I'll see you when you wake up in the morning. Okay, I love you too. Buh-bye."
Alan clipped the top of the phone down and tossed it onto the passenger seat. He opened the door and stepped out into the now pouring rain. He slammed the door shut.
Alan's thoughts never stopped haunting him, and continued to affect his entire life. He rested his head on his hands on the top of his pickup truck.
As the rain continued to bear down hard on Alan, soaking his clothes, he never moved. He just stood there, and in place of his tears…the rain trickled down his face. He didn't have any tears left, they had all gone. He has never cried since the very day where he had accepted the fact that him and Rachel were over. The same day that Rachel got her hair cut.
Rachel, a little too harshly, tossed her dishes into the sink. They didn't break, but it made a loud clash once it had landed. She had already suffered depression a year ago and she didn't need to get into it again. Lexie was right, she desperately needed to get away. But she knew, no matter what happened, nothing could ever get her mind off Alan. Every day she had thought about him, and about how different her life might've been if he had kept his promise.
---
Song for this chapter…
"Feelin' The Same Way" by Norah Jones
The sun just slipped its note
below my door
And I can't hide beneath my sheets
I've read the words before
so now I know
Time has come again for me
And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend
Another day that I can't find my head
My feet don't look like they're my own
I'll try and find the floor below to stand
I hope I reach it once again
And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend
oh...
So many times I've wondered where I've gone
And how I found my way back in
I look around awhile for something lost
Maybe I'll find it in the end
And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend
No matter how much I pretend