The Deal
Arthur Weasley sat at work in his office at the Ministry of Magic. He worked in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts section. He was just finishing his letter to his mother when the door to his office opened.
"Hey, Weasley!" The drawling voice of Lucius Malfoy called across his office.
"Shut it Mal-" Arthur began before he was he was interrupted.
"I'm not going to make fun of you," said Lucius. Arthur eyed him suspiciously.
"Fine, make it quick."
"Okay, so I have a proposition-"
"No."
"Come on," Lucius said." Hear me out."
"No."
"10,000 galleons."
"Done."
"But then...." Lucius said as an afterthought. "That's only if you agree...."
"Fine what's the deal?" Arthur Weasley asked.
"Okay, so the deal is- no, wait, this is good- your daughter marry my handsome son."
Arthur snorted his coffee all over his letter.
"Handsome?"
"Fine your daughter marry my son."
"What!" Arthur roared. "No!"
"10,000 galleons..." Lucius said in a sing-song voice.
"I'm not saying no, but why the fuck would you want your son to marry a Weasley?" asked Arthur.
"Well, that Parkinson bitch is a whore. She goes around." Said Lucius
"Yeah," said Arthur, "like a record." He said this nodding his head with a pensive look on his face. Then, "you were saying?"
"And then with Bullstrode," Lucius continued, "I don't want bulls for grandchildren." He laughed at his own joke. "Yeah so then I thought of Ginny. She's a pureblood and she is pretty hot."
"Hey!" Arthur cried
"I mean it's not like she isn't," Lucius said fairly.
"Okay, so about the 10,000... that's kind of low. I mean this is my only daughter we are talking about here," said Arthur.
"20,000. Take it or leave it. I suggest you take it, you need it," said Lucius.
"Hey!" said Arthur sounding hurt.
"No offense," said Lucius quickly.
"None taken," said Arthur. "Nah, I was thinking......80,000."
"What?!"
"Hey, my family will murder me."
"So?"
"Hey!"
"No offense."
"None taken. But then again I don't want troll grandchildren, I mean, Draco.....?"
"Hey!"
"No offense."
"None taken. So, do we have a deal?"
"No, I mean.....well, I did let Bill marry that Delacour girl, horrible eeenglish speaker."
They laugh.
"She was terrible- so Bill shouldn't be too upset about Ginny.......so 70,000, one for every other member of the family." Arthur Weasley said.
"Well when Ginny's married, she'll have Draco's money so how about 60,000?" Lucius said hopefully.
"Nah, shit no, 70,000. I'll give 1,000 galleons to everyone and keep the rest for me. I've changed my mind."
"Is that a yes?"
"No, I need an excuse; my wife is going to kill me. I need one. I mean- Draco Malfoy?!" Arthur snorted.
"Hey!"
"No offense."
"None taken."
"So....what do we do?" Arthur asked.
"Um...I got it; we can say it's a prophecy! I'll pay that Trelawney chick 5,000 galleons, she'll make one up."
"But what's it going to say?"
""Let's see.... Obsessive muggle-lover's daughter marry rich handsome guy's son."
"No!" Arthur shouted. Then he said quieter," no, how about stunningly sexy Arthur Weasley's daughter must marry pathetic, arrogant, ugly, Lucius Malfoy's son."
"Fine." Lucius said in a tired, exasperated voice
"Okay, and get this! If they do, their offspring's would bring peace on earth."
"Sounds good."
"Okay, done. But I need the money this week or I'll be broke."
"Fine after all we are family now."
"Yeah, now leave. Get out of my office."
"Office? A closet, I'd hardly call it an office."
"Hey!"
"No offense."
"None taken."
"Bye, relative." Lucius left waving.
Arthur Weasley sat in his desk, grinning and nodding his head. Pleased with himself, he was now filthy rich.