Disclaimer: I don't own the characters- they all belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. This is just another twisted story with his characters and their personalities. Well, sort of.
Summary: Some things in life remain unexplained. For thousands of years researches may study one subject but never discover an answer. Other things in life are more simply explained, such as the following story.
Frodo did not like toast. All his life, if anyone dared to even mention the word he would begin to shake uncontrollably. And if one ever came near him, he would whimper and back away. All of his friends were sick of it. You see, Frodo was a toaster. He could not escape his horrors. The nightmares of great and terrifying loaves of bread had haunted him all his life. Those monsters had threatened to be shoved in him, even though he was not big enough to toast them. The largest of these loaves was the ugly and hideous Sauron. He was a cruel one, and had bits of mold growing everywhere.
One day Frodo was sitting on the counter counting silverware to get to sleep. Gandalf, the refrigerator, noticed something was wrong.
"Frodo, what's wrong?" he asked. There was a sympathetic look on his doors. Frodo looked up and said, "Well, I'm just upset that I am terrified of toast of any kind, and all my friends make fun of me. Especially Merry." Merry was a sink, and every time he snorted with laughter, a great stream of water would shoot out of his nose. His best friend was Pippin, a cute little plate. They had known Frodo for as long as he could remember.
"You should get some rest" said Gandalf. "You never know when those monsters are going to come back. You need your strength." "I suppose you're right," said Frodo, yawning. He closed his eyes and slept peacefully. No thoughts of bread or cooked bread passed through his mind…Until a great square shadow came upon him….Frodo opened an eyelid and then hopped four inches into the air and shrank back against the wall. "Wee meet again…" said Sauron. His mold had spread even more.
Frodo gave a hysterical giggle.
"What are you laughing at?" asked Sauron. His voice held a hint of anger.
"You just said 'wee'." Frodo snorted.
Sauron growled. "I'm going to get toasted if it's the last thing I do." He lunged at Frodo suddenly and Frodo just barely made it out of Sauron's way. He hobbled along the counter.
"Help help help!" he squeaked. "You get back here!" shouted Sauron. Frodo kept hobbling. He was trying to make it to the sink, then at least maybe Merry could help him. Sauron was gaining on him. He was quick for an untoasted bread. Frodo looked behind him and was that Sauron was reaching for him. He wasn't going to make it… Sauron grabbed Frodo's corner and Frodo struggled to get loose. "I've got you now!" Sauron cackled. Frodo broke free of his grip and made if a few more steps before Sauron stopped and yanked Frodo's cord. Frodo stopped immediately and lay limply on the counter. Pippin came running from his glass cabinet and knelt beside Frodo.
"Oh Frodo!" he cried. "Please speak to me!" Frodo's eyelids fluttered before he said weakly, "Tell my uncle I love him, and tell Sam he's like a brother t-" he coughed up a few crumbs and then he lay there motionless.
"Nooo!" said Pippin, sobbing. He looked up and saw that Sauron had been slowly making his way over. He looked smug. "Step aside, runt." "No! I refuse! You're not going to hurt Frodo anymore! I'm-" Sauron kicked Pippin in the middle and Pippin flew through the air and landed in the sink, chipped.
Sauron wedged himself in Frodo the Toaster and thought about how crispy and brown he was going to become. He waited. And waited.
"Why am I not being toasted? Why isn't this not working?" He hopped out and rammed the toaster with his body. "Stupid toaster! I'm going elsewhere!! He stomped off muttering angrily. Pippin climbed out of the sink and limped to Frodo. Frodo was in bad shape. The silverware gathered around as well and Pippin looked at them all.
"Help me lift Frodo. We've got to take him to Gandalf." "I'm right here!" a voice boomed. The silverware scattered and Pippin turned around.
"You must plug him back in. IT is the only way to save him." "Right," said Pippin. He located the plug at the end of the cord and thrust it into the socket. A spark flew out. It was like magic. Pippin hurried to where Frodo lay and nudged him. "Frodo, are you all right?" Frodo moaned. "He's alive!" cried Pippin happily. The silverware came up behind him. They were grasping something. It was a struggling figure, and very ugly. "You've captured Sauron!" exclaimed Pippin. The silverwares all nodded their heads. They threw him into the sink where it was too steep to climb out. Sauron's shouts could be heard throughout the kitchen. He swore so loudly and with such awful words that Merry got the giggles and the water poured out of his nose. Unlucky for Sauron, he was right under the faucet. The whole kitchen watched as he got all soggy and bits of him washed away down the sink. "This isn't the last of me!" squeaked a crumb as it was washed away.. Everyone laughed, including Frodo, who was getting stronger by the second. They had a grand feast, and for the occasion everyone ate through all the bread in the kitchen heartily. There was a short time when Merry threw up, but the forks were already there and took care of it. Then Merry called to Frodo, "Toast this for me, will you?" Frodo grinned and said, "After that other big bloke, this should be a piece of toast." And all the kitchen was happy.
Summary: Some things in life remain unexplained. For thousands of years researches may study one subject but never discover an answer. Other things in life are more simply explained, such as the following story.
Frodo did not like toast. All his life, if anyone dared to even mention the word he would begin to shake uncontrollably. And if one ever came near him, he would whimper and back away. All of his friends were sick of it. You see, Frodo was a toaster. He could not escape his horrors. The nightmares of great and terrifying loaves of bread had haunted him all his life. Those monsters had threatened to be shoved in him, even though he was not big enough to toast them. The largest of these loaves was the ugly and hideous Sauron. He was a cruel one, and had bits of mold growing everywhere.
One day Frodo was sitting on the counter counting silverware to get to sleep. Gandalf, the refrigerator, noticed something was wrong.
"Frodo, what's wrong?" he asked. There was a sympathetic look on his doors. Frodo looked up and said, "Well, I'm just upset that I am terrified of toast of any kind, and all my friends make fun of me. Especially Merry." Merry was a sink, and every time he snorted with laughter, a great stream of water would shoot out of his nose. His best friend was Pippin, a cute little plate. They had known Frodo for as long as he could remember.
"You should get some rest" said Gandalf. "You never know when those monsters are going to come back. You need your strength." "I suppose you're right," said Frodo, yawning. He closed his eyes and slept peacefully. No thoughts of bread or cooked bread passed through his mind…Until a great square shadow came upon him….Frodo opened an eyelid and then hopped four inches into the air and shrank back against the wall. "Wee meet again…" said Sauron. His mold had spread even more.
Frodo gave a hysterical giggle.
"What are you laughing at?" asked Sauron. His voice held a hint of anger.
"You just said 'wee'." Frodo snorted.
Sauron growled. "I'm going to get toasted if it's the last thing I do." He lunged at Frodo suddenly and Frodo just barely made it out of Sauron's way. He hobbled along the counter.
"Help help help!" he squeaked. "You get back here!" shouted Sauron. Frodo kept hobbling. He was trying to make it to the sink, then at least maybe Merry could help him. Sauron was gaining on him. He was quick for an untoasted bread. Frodo looked behind him and was that Sauron was reaching for him. He wasn't going to make it… Sauron grabbed Frodo's corner and Frodo struggled to get loose. "I've got you now!" Sauron cackled. Frodo broke free of his grip and made if a few more steps before Sauron stopped and yanked Frodo's cord. Frodo stopped immediately and lay limply on the counter. Pippin came running from his glass cabinet and knelt beside Frodo.
"Oh Frodo!" he cried. "Please speak to me!" Frodo's eyelids fluttered before he said weakly, "Tell my uncle I love him, and tell Sam he's like a brother t-" he coughed up a few crumbs and then he lay there motionless.
"Nooo!" said Pippin, sobbing. He looked up and saw that Sauron had been slowly making his way over. He looked smug. "Step aside, runt." "No! I refuse! You're not going to hurt Frodo anymore! I'm-" Sauron kicked Pippin in the middle and Pippin flew through the air and landed in the sink, chipped.
Sauron wedged himself in Frodo the Toaster and thought about how crispy and brown he was going to become. He waited. And waited.
"Why am I not being toasted? Why isn't this not working?" He hopped out and rammed the toaster with his body. "Stupid toaster! I'm going elsewhere!! He stomped off muttering angrily. Pippin climbed out of the sink and limped to Frodo. Frodo was in bad shape. The silverware gathered around as well and Pippin looked at them all.
"Help me lift Frodo. We've got to take him to Gandalf." "I'm right here!" a voice boomed. The silverware scattered and Pippin turned around.
"You must plug him back in. IT is the only way to save him." "Right," said Pippin. He located the plug at the end of the cord and thrust it into the socket. A spark flew out. It was like magic. Pippin hurried to where Frodo lay and nudged him. "Frodo, are you all right?" Frodo moaned. "He's alive!" cried Pippin happily. The silverware came up behind him. They were grasping something. It was a struggling figure, and very ugly. "You've captured Sauron!" exclaimed Pippin. The silverwares all nodded their heads. They threw him into the sink where it was too steep to climb out. Sauron's shouts could be heard throughout the kitchen. He swore so loudly and with such awful words that Merry got the giggles and the water poured out of his nose. Unlucky for Sauron, he was right under the faucet. The whole kitchen watched as he got all soggy and bits of him washed away down the sink. "This isn't the last of me!" squeaked a crumb as it was washed away.. Everyone laughed, including Frodo, who was getting stronger by the second. They had a grand feast, and for the occasion everyone ate through all the bread in the kitchen heartily. There was a short time when Merry threw up, but the forks were already there and took care of it. Then Merry called to Frodo, "Toast this for me, will you?" Frodo grinned and said, "After that other big bloke, this should be a piece of toast." And all the kitchen was happy.