TITLE: The Pain of Love
CONTENT: F/F relationship DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sailor Moon Authors Notes: It's been a while. Sorry. I got lazy and I didn't feel like writing it anymore, but I decided I minus well write another chapter and continue the story on. This one is really extremely bad. I am sorry. It is really short but I loseideas and interest after a while. Anyway, I hope you like it. It'd make mehappy even though this isn't oneofmy best. This is part 3 of Mako's POV. YAY!!! Enjoy.
I wasn't really sleeping. How could I sleep? I mean, first of all I was all upset because of you not wanting me the way I want you, second of all I was still pondering the thought of what the hell you meant about all that love crap before you fell asleep, and third of all your body was pressed up to mine and my body couldn't be more tingly. Yeah, I'm just going to fall asleep now! I smile, I like being sarcastic.
Suddenly I feel you move your head a little. You must be awake. I immediately close my eyes. I don't want you to know that I am awake. Then you would get all suspicious and wonder why I wasn't sleeping. You would start asking questions and wonder if I was looking at you in your sleep. Then you would feel all uncomfortable and want to leave and I don't want you to leave! I feel so much better with you here! In my arms. So I close my eyes, and pretend to be a sleep.
I feel you lift your head from my bosom. I know your face is now level with mine and you are staring at me. I know you are close and I know I am so close to freaking out. I wish I didn't know so much. Quickly I begin to breathe like I would if I was sleeping, hoping you won't notice that I am in act awake. You don't. I am happy for that too because otherwise you would pull away and I would miss feeling you and smelling you and knowing that you are watching me. Oh I would miss it so much I would ache.
"You are so lovely do you know that?"
I am startled for a second. Just a second. A lot can happen in a second though. I can break out in a cold sweat and change my breathing and almost open my eyes. After that second though, I realize what I just heard. My heart beats and my mouth goes wet, dry, wet, dry, and my mind is on hyper drive. I don't even know what I am thinking. I can't catch up with myself. All I can do is utter a small word that makes me swoon.
"Ami."
Before I can realize that I said something when I am supposedly supposed to be sleeping I hear your voice again.
"Makoto," you say oh so softly. "I am going to kiss you now."
'WHAT!!!!' my mind yells in disbelief. There is no way. Yet suddenly I am aware that your face is coming closer to mine. Suddenly I am aware that your chin is lowering. Suddenly I am aware that our lips are just centimeters away. I don't know what to think so I don't. I just lay there with my eyes closed praying that this isn't real, but I know I wish that it really is inside.
Then I could feel your breath. On my lips. Your breath getting closer and closer and closer. All of a sudden, I am taking aback because your lips suddenly crash into mine really hard and then the pressure gets softer and softer till your lips are gently caressing mine in such a wonderful manner. I've never felt anything like it. It was nothing like all of the other kisses I have received before in my life time that were so forceful and harsh that they made me cry when I went home because I knew the person behind the kiss felt nothing for me at all! This kiss though, it felt so good! It wasn't forceful and I could actually feel something from the person behind the kiss. Feeling. Emotion. Love?
'Oh Ami,' I told her in my head. 'You have just renewed my hope in love.'
That's when I feel you pull away. However, I am content. I can see the darkness and I can feel your hand caressing my cheek and your other had on the back of my head. You must have put your hands there at some point in the kiss but I hardly remember. All I know is that I have a huge urge to thank you, so I do.
"Thank you"
I smile. I can imagine your look in my mind. Eyes wide, mouth open in shock. I almost forgot you thought I was sleeping. I open my eyes to see the face I imagined in my head. Your eyes only grow wider and you look so worried, you could cry. But, why would you wasn't to cry. What was the matter? Had I done something wrong?
Suddenly, I became overcome with grief. It was obvious that you thought that the kiss was a mistake. How could I have been such a fool? How could I have been stupid enough to get all happy and warm and giddy? Immediately I get off the bed just blurting out stuff once I stand.
"Oh Ami I am so sorry, I have never felt so stupid in my entire life. Oh god I am so sorry! Gosh what was I thinking?"
I look at you staring at me looking at me like you don't know what the hell I am doing.
"Ami," I say desperately. "I would understand if you would hate me. I feel terrible just please don't."
My stomach hurts, my head hurts. Everything hurts. I am over come with pain. I wrap my arms around my stomach and fall to my knees clenching my eyes tight. I start crying anyway.
"Oh god Makoto!"
I hear you yell. Then I hear you feet hitting the ground as you run towards me. Every thing is dizzy and I just want to scream. I feel you beside me. I feel you take my arms from around my stomach and put them around you as you rest your head on my shoulder. I feel wetness on my shoulder. You are crying.
"Oh Makoto. Don't cry please don't cry. Please. Please don't cry."
Your arms come around my neck and you are rocking me back in forth in such slow motion.
"I didn't mean to scare you! I am sorry I kissed you Makoto. I will never do it again, just don't cry!"
Your sobs just become louder and louder and then I realize that I am not crying anymore. However, I am so weak that I fall back and lay down on my back. You are still sobbing on my shoulder lying on top of me. 'What is going on' I ask her in my mind. 'And what is happening to us.'
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Yeah, I know. It was short and it was crap. But be nice. Please. I will take criticicm however so go ahead and be as mean as you want. K? K. :)
CONTENT: F/F relationship DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sailor Moon Authors Notes: It's been a while. Sorry. I got lazy and I didn't feel like writing it anymore, but I decided I minus well write another chapter and continue the story on. This one is really extremely bad. I am sorry. It is really short but I loseideas and interest after a while. Anyway, I hope you like it. It'd make mehappy even though this isn't oneofmy best. This is part 3 of Mako's POV. YAY!!! Enjoy.
I wasn't really sleeping. How could I sleep? I mean, first of all I was all upset because of you not wanting me the way I want you, second of all I was still pondering the thought of what the hell you meant about all that love crap before you fell asleep, and third of all your body was pressed up to mine and my body couldn't be more tingly. Yeah, I'm just going to fall asleep now! I smile, I like being sarcastic.
Suddenly I feel you move your head a little. You must be awake. I immediately close my eyes. I don't want you to know that I am awake. Then you would get all suspicious and wonder why I wasn't sleeping. You would start asking questions and wonder if I was looking at you in your sleep. Then you would feel all uncomfortable and want to leave and I don't want you to leave! I feel so much better with you here! In my arms. So I close my eyes, and pretend to be a sleep.
I feel you lift your head from my bosom. I know your face is now level with mine and you are staring at me. I know you are close and I know I am so close to freaking out. I wish I didn't know so much. Quickly I begin to breathe like I would if I was sleeping, hoping you won't notice that I am in act awake. You don't. I am happy for that too because otherwise you would pull away and I would miss feeling you and smelling you and knowing that you are watching me. Oh I would miss it so much I would ache.
"You are so lovely do you know that?"
I am startled for a second. Just a second. A lot can happen in a second though. I can break out in a cold sweat and change my breathing and almost open my eyes. After that second though, I realize what I just heard. My heart beats and my mouth goes wet, dry, wet, dry, and my mind is on hyper drive. I don't even know what I am thinking. I can't catch up with myself. All I can do is utter a small word that makes me swoon.
"Ami."
Before I can realize that I said something when I am supposedly supposed to be sleeping I hear your voice again.
"Makoto," you say oh so softly. "I am going to kiss you now."
'WHAT!!!!' my mind yells in disbelief. There is no way. Yet suddenly I am aware that your face is coming closer to mine. Suddenly I am aware that your chin is lowering. Suddenly I am aware that our lips are just centimeters away. I don't know what to think so I don't. I just lay there with my eyes closed praying that this isn't real, but I know I wish that it really is inside.
Then I could feel your breath. On my lips. Your breath getting closer and closer and closer. All of a sudden, I am taking aback because your lips suddenly crash into mine really hard and then the pressure gets softer and softer till your lips are gently caressing mine in such a wonderful manner. I've never felt anything like it. It was nothing like all of the other kisses I have received before in my life time that were so forceful and harsh that they made me cry when I went home because I knew the person behind the kiss felt nothing for me at all! This kiss though, it felt so good! It wasn't forceful and I could actually feel something from the person behind the kiss. Feeling. Emotion. Love?
'Oh Ami,' I told her in my head. 'You have just renewed my hope in love.'
That's when I feel you pull away. However, I am content. I can see the darkness and I can feel your hand caressing my cheek and your other had on the back of my head. You must have put your hands there at some point in the kiss but I hardly remember. All I know is that I have a huge urge to thank you, so I do.
"Thank you"
I smile. I can imagine your look in my mind. Eyes wide, mouth open in shock. I almost forgot you thought I was sleeping. I open my eyes to see the face I imagined in my head. Your eyes only grow wider and you look so worried, you could cry. But, why would you wasn't to cry. What was the matter? Had I done something wrong?
Suddenly, I became overcome with grief. It was obvious that you thought that the kiss was a mistake. How could I have been such a fool? How could I have been stupid enough to get all happy and warm and giddy? Immediately I get off the bed just blurting out stuff once I stand.
"Oh Ami I am so sorry, I have never felt so stupid in my entire life. Oh god I am so sorry! Gosh what was I thinking?"
I look at you staring at me looking at me like you don't know what the hell I am doing.
"Ami," I say desperately. "I would understand if you would hate me. I feel terrible just please don't."
My stomach hurts, my head hurts. Everything hurts. I am over come with pain. I wrap my arms around my stomach and fall to my knees clenching my eyes tight. I start crying anyway.
"Oh god Makoto!"
I hear you yell. Then I hear you feet hitting the ground as you run towards me. Every thing is dizzy and I just want to scream. I feel you beside me. I feel you take my arms from around my stomach and put them around you as you rest your head on my shoulder. I feel wetness on my shoulder. You are crying.
"Oh Makoto. Don't cry please don't cry. Please. Please don't cry."
Your arms come around my neck and you are rocking me back in forth in such slow motion.
"I didn't mean to scare you! I am sorry I kissed you Makoto. I will never do it again, just don't cry!"
Your sobs just become louder and louder and then I realize that I am not crying anymore. However, I am so weak that I fall back and lay down on my back. You are still sobbing on my shoulder lying on top of me. 'What is going on' I ask her in my mind. 'And what is happening to us.'
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Yeah, I know. It was short and it was crap. But be nice. Please. I will take criticicm however so go ahead and be as mean as you want. K? K. :)