TITLE: The Pain of Love
CONTENT: F/F relationship
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sailor Moon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah, I am sorry. This one is short too. And it is a bit too rushed. Really though, I try my best. At least this one came in pretty quickly like I promised right? Anyway, this is chapter number 7 in Makoto's POV. And…yeah, that's it. Hope you enjoy.
I am completely confused and I just don't want to think anymore. However, I cannot stop thinking and so many thoughts are running through my brain and my head is really starting to hurt. Heck, I am so lost into thought that I don't even realize for the longest time that you are on top of me. I am glad I don't realize this though because I don't know what I would have done or how I would have reacted to it. Still, I know I have to say something and break the silence. And I know what it is we have to talk about.
"A-Ami?" I ask very reluctantly not wanting to discuss this.
"Yes Makoto?" As you talk I can feel your breath on me. That's how I realize that you are on top of me. I try my best not to freak out and go on.
"Was it an accident?" I curse myself inside my mind. What a stupid question. I sound way too desperate. Dammit!
"Was what an accident Makoto?" I raise an eyebrow. What is this? Are you trying to mess with my mind? Maybe you just don't want to talk about it. You just want to leave it alone. I know you may not want to address the kiss but I know we have to talk about it. So I answer your question.
"Th-the kiss." Wow. It sounds so weird when I say it out loud. My heart begins to beat. You really kissed me didn't you? But why? It just doesn't make sense? Are you trying to confuse me on purpose? Why would you do that?
You get off of me and I shiver. The room is much colder without your warmth on my body. I sit up and put my legs in Indian style waiting for you to tell me your answer. Which I did not receive. It felt like forever and you hadn't said anything. For some reason I begin to feel immensely irritated. Anger begins to consume me. Why won't you answer me? Why are you doing this to me?
"Answer Me Dammit!!" My breathing becomes harder.
"Come on Ami I need to know!" I am taken aback from my sudden outbursts. I can't believe how angry I feel. I don't know why I am yelling or where it is coming from.
I look up at you and wince when I see the tears falling down your face. The lump in my throat thickens as an enormous and overwhelming feeling of guilt rushes over me. I feel even more guilt when I see you run out of the bedroom and hear you go out of my apartment.
I don't move. I can't. I am frozen in the spot that I am in. My palms are sweaty. My mouth is dry. My head hurts. My heart hurts. Just everything is terrible. I have to stop myself from collapsing to the ground and just crying. Even though it is hard I know I have to do something. I have to at least try to keep our friendship.
I run into the living room to get the phone and, of course, I cannot find it. That's just my luck. I immediately start going on a search for the phone. I throw pillows around; go through random junk on the ground and nothing. I probably look for the phone for about an hour. I know I am just doing this to occupy myself so that the pain does not overtake me.
I start to get agitated once again. Anger takes over me as I realize you probably aren't home anyway. Who knows where you are. What if you just decided to run anywhere and got mugged or something. Raped. Hit by a car. Whatever.
Tears run down my eyes.
"No," I whisper to myself.
Not thinking, I grab my car keys and rush out the door. I have to go to your house and make sure you are alright. In no time I arrive at your house. I have never driven so fast and so urgently before in my life. The knots in my stomach just grow and as enter the apartment building. I know that there is probably nothing to worry about, but this is all I have besides anger and looking for the damn phone to hide the pain.
Reaching your floor, I step off the elevator and walk down the hall to your door. I knock once, twice, three times. The fourth time I know it is much harder and with more desperation. My pulse quickens, my palms get even sweatier, and my heart beats so hard. What if something did happen to you after all? Why else would you not be here. Suddenly, I am broken out of my thoughts from your voice.
"Coming!" I release a breath I had no idea I was holding. I am so relieved. I wait impatiently for you to open the door. I hear things crashing and falling. Then your laughter. I raise and eyebrow. What the hell is going on? Your laughter increases. Its gets louder and more hysteric. I don't get it, what the hell is wrong with you.
Finally, I see the doorknob begin to twist. The door slowly opens and I finally see you. There is a goofy grin on your face, your hair is a little messed up, and shirt is unbuttoned revealing a white cotton bra and a flat, pale abdomen.
"Oh, hiya Makoto," You say in slurred words before you fall forward lazily laughing the whole time. I catch you and carry you into the house and onto your couch. Looking around the room, I see that it is a mess. There are broken vases, fallen tables and chairs, and about 3 bottles of sake on the floor in front of the couch. Empty bottles of sake. Ahh ####. I sit down next to you on the couch, take a deep breath, and speak.
"Ami," I say carefully, "Tell me the truth now. Are you drunk?" You look up and smile at me goofily. Then you try to stand up but you fall back down. You laugh.
"No," you finally manage through your laughter. Then you look at me seriously and say, "Am I the type of person who would get drunk Mako-chan?" Then you smile stupidly. Oh boy, what have you done to yourself Ami-chan? And how the hell did you manage to drink three large bottles of sake in such a short amount of time anyway.
Slowly I move to button up your shirt. It was obvious that I would have to be staying over tonight and anything I could do to make myself not go completely mad would be helpful. However, before I can even start to buttoning, you grab my wrists stopping me. I look up to ask you why you stopped me but my words become caught in my throat when I realize that I am face to face with you. Your blue eyes are staring into mine. I start to shiver as I feel your fingers stroking my wrist.
"Don't do that Makoto." You whisper gently. Then, you move your head close so that your mouth is near my ear and whisper, "It's too hot in here."
I am breathing really hard. My eyes are closed tight. My mouth can't seem to decide whether it wants to be wet or dry. This is killing me. I feel your warm breath on my ear. Oh kami this is too much. I then feel you moving my hands to where my fingertips are gently brushing the skin of your abdomen. That's it this has to stop.
I get off of the couch abruptly and move to the other side of your room.
"Ami, what are doing?" I ask already regretting getting up because of the sudden absence of the tingles that were running through my body.
"I, well I…I don't know," You say. Your face is a bit twisted in confusion. "I guess…I guess I just wanted you to touch me." Your eyes go wide and you cover you mouth with your hands. "Oh my god, I can't believe I just said that!" You say. Then more fits of laughter take over you.
I awkwardly go over to you and pick you up. I know I have to put you into bed. I walk into your room with you in my arms and lay you down softly onto your bed. I tuck you into the covers and you let out a soft and content moan.
"You know Makoto, I really like it when you put me to bed." Your smile is a bit too mischievous. I really can't believe the way you are acting. I mean, you are Ami Mizuno for goodness sakes. I never thought I'd see the day. I just sigh and say:
"That's nice Ami now get some rest. You are going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning." You smile and actually obey. You rest your head on your pillow and close your eyes. I smile and begin to leave the room. 'I guess I am gonna have to sleep on the couch tonight.'
Before I go and do that though, I look back to see you sleep. I smile when I think about how easy it would be to take advantage of you right now. I really wouldn't mind touching you. Of course, I know I have to push those thoughts out of my mind. You are drunk and you obviously don't know that you want and I know everything that just happened was just drunken behavior. I have to try my best not to get my hopes up.
I leave the room and go to lay on your uncomfortable couch. I can deal with the discomfort if it is for you. So I lay down and try to get some sleep with thoughts of your breath on my ear and fingers stroking my wrists replaying in my mind. Oh, seriously Ami. What the hell are you doing to me?
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And that's all she wrote folks. I know it was rushed. I guess I am going to have to try to make up for it in the next chapter. Maybe. I will see what I can do. Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews. I get so happy when I read that people like it. So please send me more. I love em love em love em. Peace!
CONTENT: F/F relationship
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sailor Moon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah, I am sorry. This one is short too. And it is a bit too rushed. Really though, I try my best. At least this one came in pretty quickly like I promised right? Anyway, this is chapter number 7 in Makoto's POV. And…yeah, that's it. Hope you enjoy.
I am completely confused and I just don't want to think anymore. However, I cannot stop thinking and so many thoughts are running through my brain and my head is really starting to hurt. Heck, I am so lost into thought that I don't even realize for the longest time that you are on top of me. I am glad I don't realize this though because I don't know what I would have done or how I would have reacted to it. Still, I know I have to say something and break the silence. And I know what it is we have to talk about.
"A-Ami?" I ask very reluctantly not wanting to discuss this.
"Yes Makoto?" As you talk I can feel your breath on me. That's how I realize that you are on top of me. I try my best not to freak out and go on.
"Was it an accident?" I curse myself inside my mind. What a stupid question. I sound way too desperate. Dammit!
"Was what an accident Makoto?" I raise an eyebrow. What is this? Are you trying to mess with my mind? Maybe you just don't want to talk about it. You just want to leave it alone. I know you may not want to address the kiss but I know we have to talk about it. So I answer your question.
"Th-the kiss." Wow. It sounds so weird when I say it out loud. My heart begins to beat. You really kissed me didn't you? But why? It just doesn't make sense? Are you trying to confuse me on purpose? Why would you do that?
You get off of me and I shiver. The room is much colder without your warmth on my body. I sit up and put my legs in Indian style waiting for you to tell me your answer. Which I did not receive. It felt like forever and you hadn't said anything. For some reason I begin to feel immensely irritated. Anger begins to consume me. Why won't you answer me? Why are you doing this to me?
"Answer Me Dammit!!" My breathing becomes harder.
"Come on Ami I need to know!" I am taken aback from my sudden outbursts. I can't believe how angry I feel. I don't know why I am yelling or where it is coming from.
I look up at you and wince when I see the tears falling down your face. The lump in my throat thickens as an enormous and overwhelming feeling of guilt rushes over me. I feel even more guilt when I see you run out of the bedroom and hear you go out of my apartment.
I don't move. I can't. I am frozen in the spot that I am in. My palms are sweaty. My mouth is dry. My head hurts. My heart hurts. Just everything is terrible. I have to stop myself from collapsing to the ground and just crying. Even though it is hard I know I have to do something. I have to at least try to keep our friendship.
I run into the living room to get the phone and, of course, I cannot find it. That's just my luck. I immediately start going on a search for the phone. I throw pillows around; go through random junk on the ground and nothing. I probably look for the phone for about an hour. I know I am just doing this to occupy myself so that the pain does not overtake me.
I start to get agitated once again. Anger takes over me as I realize you probably aren't home anyway. Who knows where you are. What if you just decided to run anywhere and got mugged or something. Raped. Hit by a car. Whatever.
Tears run down my eyes.
"No," I whisper to myself.
Not thinking, I grab my car keys and rush out the door. I have to go to your house and make sure you are alright. In no time I arrive at your house. I have never driven so fast and so urgently before in my life. The knots in my stomach just grow and as enter the apartment building. I know that there is probably nothing to worry about, but this is all I have besides anger and looking for the damn phone to hide the pain.
Reaching your floor, I step off the elevator and walk down the hall to your door. I knock once, twice, three times. The fourth time I know it is much harder and with more desperation. My pulse quickens, my palms get even sweatier, and my heart beats so hard. What if something did happen to you after all? Why else would you not be here. Suddenly, I am broken out of my thoughts from your voice.
"Coming!" I release a breath I had no idea I was holding. I am so relieved. I wait impatiently for you to open the door. I hear things crashing and falling. Then your laughter. I raise and eyebrow. What the hell is going on? Your laughter increases. Its gets louder and more hysteric. I don't get it, what the hell is wrong with you.
Finally, I see the doorknob begin to twist. The door slowly opens and I finally see you. There is a goofy grin on your face, your hair is a little messed up, and shirt is unbuttoned revealing a white cotton bra and a flat, pale abdomen.
"Oh, hiya Makoto," You say in slurred words before you fall forward lazily laughing the whole time. I catch you and carry you into the house and onto your couch. Looking around the room, I see that it is a mess. There are broken vases, fallen tables and chairs, and about 3 bottles of sake on the floor in front of the couch. Empty bottles of sake. Ahh ####. I sit down next to you on the couch, take a deep breath, and speak.
"Ami," I say carefully, "Tell me the truth now. Are you drunk?" You look up and smile at me goofily. Then you try to stand up but you fall back down. You laugh.
"No," you finally manage through your laughter. Then you look at me seriously and say, "Am I the type of person who would get drunk Mako-chan?" Then you smile stupidly. Oh boy, what have you done to yourself Ami-chan? And how the hell did you manage to drink three large bottles of sake in such a short amount of time anyway.
Slowly I move to button up your shirt. It was obvious that I would have to be staying over tonight and anything I could do to make myself not go completely mad would be helpful. However, before I can even start to buttoning, you grab my wrists stopping me. I look up to ask you why you stopped me but my words become caught in my throat when I realize that I am face to face with you. Your blue eyes are staring into mine. I start to shiver as I feel your fingers stroking my wrist.
"Don't do that Makoto." You whisper gently. Then, you move your head close so that your mouth is near my ear and whisper, "It's too hot in here."
I am breathing really hard. My eyes are closed tight. My mouth can't seem to decide whether it wants to be wet or dry. This is killing me. I feel your warm breath on my ear. Oh kami this is too much. I then feel you moving my hands to where my fingertips are gently brushing the skin of your abdomen. That's it this has to stop.
I get off of the couch abruptly and move to the other side of your room.
"Ami, what are doing?" I ask already regretting getting up because of the sudden absence of the tingles that were running through my body.
"I, well I…I don't know," You say. Your face is a bit twisted in confusion. "I guess…I guess I just wanted you to touch me." Your eyes go wide and you cover you mouth with your hands. "Oh my god, I can't believe I just said that!" You say. Then more fits of laughter take over you.
I awkwardly go over to you and pick you up. I know I have to put you into bed. I walk into your room with you in my arms and lay you down softly onto your bed. I tuck you into the covers and you let out a soft and content moan.
"You know Makoto, I really like it when you put me to bed." Your smile is a bit too mischievous. I really can't believe the way you are acting. I mean, you are Ami Mizuno for goodness sakes. I never thought I'd see the day. I just sigh and say:
"That's nice Ami now get some rest. You are going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning." You smile and actually obey. You rest your head on your pillow and close your eyes. I smile and begin to leave the room. 'I guess I am gonna have to sleep on the couch tonight.'
Before I go and do that though, I look back to see you sleep. I smile when I think about how easy it would be to take advantage of you right now. I really wouldn't mind touching you. Of course, I know I have to push those thoughts out of my mind. You are drunk and you obviously don't know that you want and I know everything that just happened was just drunken behavior. I have to try my best not to get my hopes up.
I leave the room and go to lay on your uncomfortable couch. I can deal with the discomfort if it is for you. So I lay down and try to get some sleep with thoughts of your breath on my ear and fingers stroking my wrists replaying in my mind. Oh, seriously Ami. What the hell are you doing to me?
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And that's all she wrote folks. I know it was rushed. I guess I am going to have to try to make up for it in the next chapter. Maybe. I will see what I can do. Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews. I get so happy when I read that people like it. So please send me more. I love em love em love em. Peace!