Disclaimer: I don't own the OC...yup, nothing to add to this today.

Thanks again for reviewing. I can't get enough of those.

This is the most serious chapter of the story, I think. No, don't run away screaming. Just read and see if you like it. I know there are a lot fanfics about Summer and her feelings, so let's hope you don't get bored reading this one. I promise next chapter is going to be more dialogues and less emotional stuff.

I found out my settings were set so, that only members could review. I changed that, so if someone anonymous wants to review, you can do that now. (I'm finally learning how this fanfictionsite works) Yes, I'm shutting up now.

She looked at the letter in her hands and began to read it.

Dear Summer,

I'm already sorry I'm leaving you. I knew I should have told you this in person, but I know I couldn't have left you then. Now Ryan left I feel sad and angry. How could he just leave me? He's my only friend and brother. Maybe I should have taken you with me to Tahiti, but I'm affraid I'll take my feelings out on you. I don't want to hurt you. I'll be back in a few days, because I'll miss you, because I love you. Don't kick my ass too hard when I get back, okay?

Your Seth Cohen

This was Seths letter when he left to Tahiti? How did this letter get in this drawer? Had her father hidden Seths letter from her? How could he have done this? And the worst part was that she didn't even had the chance to go to her father to argue with him. Any stress would probably kill him.

Seth had written her he loved her?

This was pretty.

This was pretty bad.

Summer hadn't got a lot I love you's in her life. And the ones she did get were crap. I love you was a lie.

Her mother said it to her once, in the last conversation they had to be precise. Summer of course hadn't known it was the last time she was going to see her mother. Her mother was just going to work, like she did every wednesday. Maybe she should have seen it coming, the I love you should have been a warning, but unfortunately she had been so stupid to think that her mother had said it for no particular reason, that she had said it because she meant it.

A few weeks later they found out her mother left them volunteery, she left them for another man. Her father had been devestated, he dealt with his feelings alone. He became a silent person and the word "mother" became a forbidden word. Her father bought all the gifts Summer wanted, maybe it was his way to say he loved her. Maybe not. In one rare moment her father told Summer it was hard to love her, because she had so much alike with her mother.

A few years later she found out that he knew. Her parents were already divorced for a month when her mother left. They had pretended to be a happy couple together for a month. Summer should have known or at least should have sensed something, but she hadn't. Her parents had argued less in that month, she thought it was going to be better, but it was only getting worse. Her father had known that day that her mother was going to leave, to leave forever. And he didn't stop her, he did nothing. When Summer found out, she yelled, screamed and cried. All the words her father had for her were that it was the best for her, the best for all of them.

She even got some I love you's from boys. But she was sure they didn't mean it, all they wanted was her body.

After all the things people had said and hadn't said to her Summer decided it wasn't hard for someone to love her, it was impossible for someone to love her.

And now Seth Cohen had written her he loved her and he meant it too. How did their relation get so serious? This wasn't suppose to happen. No, this was just some stupid crush, the feelings should fade away after a while, but they didn't. She didn't want to admit it, but she knew it was true, she loved him too. She was scared. She was scared he was going to hurt her. She was scared she was going to hurt him. No, this wasn't suppose to happen at all, no she was suppose to be with a rich banker, who she could endure, someone who she didn't really care about, someone who couldn't hurt her.

She had no choice, she had to ignore the letter.

Two months later

"Coop? We're going to be late, what are you doing in there?"

Summer was standing in front of the closed toilet, where some weird noises came from.

"Coop?"

Marissa walked out of the toilet, it was obvious she had been vomitting.

"You shouldn't have drank so much"

Summer had planned to talk about this later, she had seen some empty bottles in Marissa's bedroom, but she couldn't keep it silent anymore what she was thinking, now she had heard Marissa vomitting.

"It's not because of that"

"Yeah, it's normal that you're vomitting"

"Sum, you don't get it. I'm pregnant"

"What?"

"I don't get it either, we used protection and...I don't know what to do. I don't know how to tell Ryan, how is he going to react?"

"He's from Chino, he's already used of hearing such news...sorry, stupid joke", Summer said, when she saw the desperate look on Marissa and she gave Marissa a hug.

"It's going to be alright, sweetie"

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"Why don't you ask her?"

Summer had been detached the last two months. Everytime she and Seth got close she got some excuse to do something else or to get away. First he thought it was because she was upset that her dad had a heart attack. But after the more weeks went by, her father seemed to be doing fine and Summer didn't change. He didn't want to ask her what was going on, because he didn't want to know the answer.

The doorbell rang.

"They're here"

56 minutes later

"I'm going to the toilet", Marissa said while she was standing up.

"Again?"

Ryan looked confused at Summer and Seth, they were playing the play station.

"It's her own fault. I've warned her my mother made those cookies. I still can't believe she actually ate them" Seth answered the confused look.

Seth had been massaging Summers back with one hand the whole time. It didn't help, she only seemed to get more tensed. He gave her a kiss in the neck and she pulled away.

"It's over"

"Yeah, game over. I beat you again"

"No, I mean, you, me, us"

"You're a real bad loser, Summer", Seth joked, hoping that her words were also a joke.

"I can't do this anymore. You and me, it was just stupid"

And with that, Summer ran off.

Next update is the day after tomorrow. Yes, the day after tomorrow...unless my computer crashes or the world explodes.