Damn, but Ryo had enough. Dee had always held a grudge toward their boss since Barclay had come on to Ryo once – and had received a blow to the jaw. But now …
"That's enough!"
Ryo stepped between his fuming lover and his boss, effectively catching Dee's glare.
"What the hell are you thinking, Dee Latener?"
"What the hell am I supposed to think? I come back here, wondering what keeps you and see you all nice and cozy with … him." Dee pointed at his brother. The letter opener didn't so much a waver. "Especially since he's still hitting on you … "
"No, he's not. And if he'd try, I'd be more than capable of defending myself. Black belt, remember? I don't need you to defend me, Dee Latener. And I'm tired of your unfounded jealousy, goddamnit! Every time someone does so much as glance at me, you're about to throw a fit."
"He kissed you … "
"And I hit him for it. Dee, you were much worse than him, and the only difference between you and your brother is that I've never hit you. Maybe I should've!"
"Ryo … "
"Don't 'Ryo' me, Dee. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of jumping in every time, tired of excusing your rude behavior. I'm… I'm leaving!"
Ryo just had enough and whirled around, slamming the door shut on his way out. He missed the wide green eyes staring after him in utter shock.
The letter opener clattered to the ground as Dee loosened his control
over it. He heard the sharp gasp behind him as Barclay slid to the floor
as well.
"Jesus … you're good … "
"What?" He turned, for the first time really seeing his … boss. Dee
just couldn't think of the other man as 'brother", not yet, maybe never.
Barclay was stumbling to his feet, his face white, eyes a little hazed
due to shock and inebriation. As he slowly walked over to his desk, Dee
noticed the slight trembling of hands.
"You're good. As good as mom…" Barclay repeated, pouring whiskey into
two glasses and silently offering Dee one.
While he took it his eyes fell on something lying on the ground. Picking
it up Dee realized it was a wallet, containing some older looking photographs…
a picture showed a tall man with a shock of blond hair and laughing blue
eyes, one arm wrapped around the shoulders of a petite black-haired woman
whose green eyes were shining happily while she was holding a baby. Another
one showed a boy of about six years, a spitting image of the blond haired
man, looking kind of serious, holding the same infant. It was a much younger
version of Ross Barclay.
Only when he felt fingers closing around Dee's elbow he realized he
must have swayed. Barclay helped him into a chair and took a seat opposite
him who was still staring at the pictures. Three girls, one with raven
black ponytail and intelligent blue eyes, one with the same black hair
falling in short curls on her shoulders, the last one green eyed,
honey colored locks framing delicate features… a happy little family. His
family?
"It's them," Barclay said softly. "Mom and Dad, my… our sisters. You."
So he was the infant.
"What are their names?" he heard himself ask hoarsely.
"Bethany, Eleanor – but she prefers to be called Lenore, Gwynne. Mom's
name was Sinead. She came form Eire – Ireland. Aunt and uncle as well as
grandparents are still living there, cousin Siobhan lives in Salt Lake."
Dee took a large swallow from his glass and kept staring at the pictures.
Anything, as long as he didn't have to look into the blue eyes…
"If you didn't come on to Ryo – what was he doing then?" he asked after
a while, voice soft.
"He was listening. I… needed someone to talk to and Ryo has proven
to be that someone lately." A rueful smile crossed the older man's lips.
"The whole revelation wasn't easy on me either. I'm actually quite glad
he lent me an open ear."
Dee looked sharply at him. Had that been all? An open ear? Or had there
been more.
Barclay looked evenly at him. "Dee, you two are a bonded Shaman Pair
– nothing can part you, except for one thing. And even that wouldn't last
long."
"What…?"
"Death, Dee. That's the only thing able to part a bonded Shaman Pair.
Even if I wanted," Barclay waved at him, "even IF I wanted, I couldn't
succeed. He won't have anyone but you - and you won't have anyone
but him."
Dee stared at him, glad he was sitting down. He felt weak-kneed, so
much racing through his head. The whole bonding stuff, it was what he had
always dreamed of: him and Ryo, no one else in their lives. Ryo was his
alone. He was the man who had shown him the pleasure of love, male love,
and Ryo would forever be the one person he felt so completely safe with.
"More genetics, hm?" he murmured.
"In a way. I don't know much about Shaman Pairs, much to my embarrassment.
You've got to ask your partner. Ryo has an incredible knowledge when it
comes to paranormal matters. It made him an outstanding ally. Too bad I
didn't know him as one earlier."
Dee shot the commissioner a sharp look but detected no sexual hints
in the remark. He transferred his gaze to the pictures again.
"So my name is Dee Barclay, huh?"
There was a soft chuckle. "Actually – no. There was a 'D' stitched
in your baby blanket. Your name is actually Desmond."
Dee stared. And shuddered.
"I think I'd prefer Dee," he managed.
Barclay chuckled. "Yes, I believe you would. As for the last name,
you are Dee Latener. No one can force you change your last name if you
don't want to."
Dee closed the wallet. "I won't," he said, voice firm.
Barclay took the wallet and slipped it into a pocket inside his jacket.
"A name doesn't tell you where you came from, Dee."
But it did. In his case anyway. He had been found by a cop whose last
name he had been given. Jesse had been his father figure, even if he had
rarely been the son to be proud of. It had taken Jesse's death to make
Dee turn his life around. And his first name… it had stemmed from the single
letter on the baby blanket. He had been a child without a past, without
a family, and now he had a whole lot of it.
Silence stretched between the two men and Dee was aware that there
was one question still burning in his mind…
"Why were you… Why did you look for me for so long?" he wanted to know,
meeting the clear, blue eyes.
Barclay sighed. And then he started to talk.
Dee had no idea how long he had sat in the small, street corner bar,
staring at nothing, twisting and twirling his drinks in his hands, methodically
emptying his glasses and munching on the somewhat stale crackers on offer.
He didn't know how much time had passed since the second he had walked
out of the precinct into the cold, wet New York night, feeling nothing
but the turmoil inside him. He had ignored everyone and everything, his
feet just taking him here.
And here he still sat. Drinking, eating bad food, and trying to cope
with the truth of it all.
Being a paranormal… well, that he could handle. With his powers, the
knowledge as to what he was, what he could do had come too. He had a haphazard
control over his abilities, as he had shown tonight when he had slammed
Barclay into the wall and threatened him with a letter opener. He hadn't
really intended to be that brutal, but he had… lost control.
Dee closed his eyes and sighed deeply. The mere sight of the man so
close to his partner had launched an avalanche inside him that had finally
climaxed in the attack. He would be lucky to still have his job by tomorrow.
Brother or no brother, paranormal or not, this was an attack against a
superior officer. His boss. The commissioner of the 27th precinct.
And there was that word again.
Brother.
Ross Barclay, his brother. The jerk, asshole and prick. His brother.
Older brother. Same parents.
Dee emptied the next drink and immediately refilled his glass. Some
sane part inside of him had decided not to go for the hard stuff with no
prior food. He had actually taken the time to eat the crappy crackers and
choose a milder version of alcohol.
His brother.
On top of it all, on top of all the changes in his life, this had to
happen to him, too. Three major impacts within one year. The first had
been the fulfillment of his dreams. Ryo was finally his.
His Ryo.
His partner.
His lover.
Gone was all the reluctance and defense. Dee now knew why his lover
had never dared to let himself fall, and it made a lot of sense. He was
just glad that he had been given the chance to truly show Ryo that he meant
it.
This was it for him. He loved the man, wanted to be with him so badly
it hurt. Ryo was the only one he had ever felt so safe with. It had been
a strange feeling that had assaulted him right away when he had met his
new partner. He had pushed it away, but it had been insistent. Ryo meant
safety, he meant warmth and gentleness, he was caring and loving. Dee's
early advances had taken advantage of that, had overwhelmed the other man
with his desires and needs, and somehow he was glad Ryo hadn't caved then
and there. Yes, it had been a chase, but throughout that time, Dee knew
he had evolved. It made their relationship all the better, much firmer.
This wasn't something based on lust.
Lust.
He smiled wryly as he popped another salty cracker into his mouth.
He had lusted after his beautiful and handsome partner from day one. Who
wouldn't? Those eyes, that face, that voice…. He had been hit hard and
fast, and ever since he had been addicted.
Just like Barclay.
There was that name again.
Dee shuddered and sipped at his drink.
He could live with being out of the ordinary, with being a shaman and
being bonded to his shield, Ryo McLane. Hell, he had no objections at all
to that bond. It was all he had ever wanted. But now Barclay had been introduced
into that equation.
His hated rival.
His boss.
The asshole who had made his life hard and who had chased Ryo. Who
had molested him, kissed him…
Dee clenched his teeth.
Brother or no brother, the man was still a rival. Boss or no boss,
should Barclay touch Ryo in any way, he was dead meat.
I don't need you to defend me, Dee Latener. And I'm tired of your
unfounded jealousy, goddamnit! Every time someone does as much as glance
at me, you're about to throw a fit.
Dee, you were much worse than him, and the only difference between
you and your brother is that I've never hit you. Maybe I should've!
I'm tired of this. I'm tired of jumping in every time, tired of
excusing your rude behavior.
Ryo's words came back and he cringed as if the words were physical
blows. In a way they were. He trusted his lover, but he didn't trust Barclay.
The revelation that they were related didn't help either. Ross Barclay
rubbed him all the wrong way. Two alpha males fighting over a mate, and
Dee was determined to win, even if it killed him.
But was Barclay actually fighting?
Even if I wanted I couldn't succeed. He won't have anyone but you
- and you won't have anyone but him.
Was it true? Was Barclay telling the truth?
Their boss had gone lengths to cover up Dee's change, Ryo's involvement,
his own involvement. He was an ally, for crying out loud!
And my brother.
Shit, there was that brother crap again.
He was an orphan, a child left out alone and found by Jesse Latener.
His parents had given him up.
No, they protected you from something that wanted to kill you. They
died for you, Dee Latener, a small voice whispered harshly. You were their
pride and joy. You had a family, a brother who had sworn to protect you.
That brother is still there and he has finally found you.
Yeah, and he's lusting after Ryo.
Oh shit, he would never get over that, right?
His alcohol-drugged mind revolved around the single time Barclay had
managed to get a kiss from Ryo. Ryo had slugged him for it, but still,
that man had touched what was his.
Possessiveness rose inside him.
He won't have anyone but you.
-- anyone but you.
Dee raked his fingers through his unruly hair, emotions overflowing.
After the scene in the office, would Ryo even think about letting him
back in? Shaman Pair or not, it only meant they worked in tandem; it didn't
mean they would have to end up in bed again. Not after the attack in the
office.
Why had he done it? Jealousy? Yes. Sure he was jealous. He had been
jealous of everyone Ryo had been friendly with in those two years of hard
pursuit, even of Bikky, who had gotten more love than Dee.
And he had bathed in the moments of tender affections with his lover.
Those moments in time when both men had been alone, when Ryo had come out
of hiding, touched him, kissed him, caressed him. When he had been there
when Dee had gone down with a cold, when he had stayed with him after emotionally
upsetting cases… and Dee had responded tenderly in kind. No wild, overpowering
episodes of kissing the other man into the mattress. Just a fleeting touch,
a caress, a look that said more than words. Yes, Dee could be romantic,
but he had had to relearn how to with Ryo. Ryo wasn't a conquest. He was
just it.
I love you, Dee thought blearily. I don't want to lose you.
I don't want you to be mad at me. I don't want you to feel that I'm jealous
at everybody.
… I don't want to be alone…