Vernon Dursley, The Mad Muggle and The Floo of Doom.

Written by Wendy Holmes

Apologies to Sever Us who did a Severitus Challenge, My

CHAPTER 2-SEEKING VERNON

The Russian Mafia lost several business contacts in Little Hangleton, when the nuke went off. They make money from many things, even selling information.

While they do not have Vernon Dursleys real name, they do have a photo of him buying the nuke. The head of the Russian mafia decides they cannot use that photo, because it would be admitting they sold a nuke that killed thousands of people.

Meanwhile the Russian Mafia try's to locate the people they sold it too. The muggles who come after Vernon and his buddies are killed by magical means so as to blame the wizards. Wizards who seek them out are killed by muggle means. Regardless of who gets killed, they get robbed, stripped of all their goods and buried in the basement of a building they have bought, strictly to operate it as a mortuary.

Vernon Dursley and his army buddies, all 20 of them invade and take over the Russian mafia by magical means and whack them all, killing thousands. They do electronic transfers to their new swiss bank account. They then go back to england to rest and recuperate.

Meanwhile Dumbledore is trying to locate Vernon Dursley, but Vernon has since moved out of #4 Privet Drive. Petunia, his wife still resides there with Dudley, but Vernon is no longer there. He sends her a check once a month for support plus a bonus or two, like when she meets him at a hotel and he shags her all night long.

Hank has an interesting idea. Why not take all the body part of the wizards and sell them for medical donor organs. They could make even more money, selling them to muggles. Instead Vernon has an better idea, "Why not make up some healing potions to heal broken bones." he sez. BBD says "they have skele-grow for that. "

Vernon sez, "Yeah but they only sell to wizards. We could take their formula, synthesize it chemically after we run the poiton ingrediants thru a gas chromatizer and then have it muggle chemical components. We could then patent it that way, then sell it under our own brand name.

Joe sez,"Hey, my kid, Joe Jr. goes to that tech college. Maybe he has access to that kind of machine. Whadya say Vern?"

Vernon, "Sounds good to me. Go get on it. Will ya Joe?"

So Joe takes one of the guys with him, someone named Bonks and heads off to the tech college his kid goes to. They find out where he is at and which lab he works in. They locate such a machine and the name of the company that makes it. So Vernon and the 'gun club' start up their own laboratory, CHEM-PLUS and they buy all kinds of technical equipment.

Finally they figure out the chemical formula for Skele-grow and they patent it. They license a well known pharamcuetical company to produce and market it under then name of "BONE-RESTOR". They reap in billions as it is a boon to the muggle world, for healing broken bones.

Later they also figure out the chemical formulas for Healing potions for blood loss-marketed as "Blood-RESTOR" and a host of other medical products licensed with the "-RESTOR" name.

Meanwhile CHEM-PLUS markets a new line of products thru their CHEM-TRIM line. You take one swallow of this potion and it replaces your desire for whatever illicit drug you were drinking. One bottle a month is all that is needed. The label says it is a herbal remedy. In fact the heroin and cocaine users buy it, it being legal and so cheap. It replaces their habits and it is not harmful to their bodies. It makes you healthy, melts off excess pounds so you are fit and trim. After a bottle a month for a year a small almost invisible tattoo appears inside the buttucks. The tattoo looks like a serpent exiting a skull.

Harry is in the great hall, eating breakfast, when a great big Owl flies in and drops off a letter onto Harry's breakfast plate. Harry takes the note and reads it.

Vernon Dursley

CHEM-PLUS, CHEM-TRIM, FPC

101 Screaming Eagle Drive.

Little Whinging, Surrey.

Dear Nephew Harry,

We are eagerly forward to meeting you at Platform 9 3/4 this june when school gets out. We want you to stay with us for as long as you like. We have had a change of heart concerning the wizarding world.

Love, Your Uncle

Vernon Dursley, CEO.

Owl Drop at #4 Privet Drive.

Harry faints. Hermione picks up the letter and she swoons. Harry gets up and says, "What has happened to them. How could they go from hating the wizard world to loving it."

Hermione says, "Look here on the bottom of the letter. It says CEO of CHEM-PLUS. They make all those RESTOR Products."

Harry "What are you going on about? What products"

Hermione, reaches into her robes and pulls out a small trunk which she enlarges. She opens it and it is magically expanded on the inside to look like the Library of Congress and the Smithsonian Institute. She reaches in a grabs a booklet from a pile near the door. She closes the trunk and shrinks it stuffing it back down into her robes. She opens the booklet, to page 15.

"Here" she say, "You Uncle has marketed '-RESTORE TEETH'. You drink the potion and your teeth regrow overnight all nice and straight. My Mom and Dad's business has suffered because of your Uncle, Harry. While not as cheap as having your teeth cleaned or one cavity filled, it eliminates cavities as well. You do not even have to have a root canal or your teeth capped. A bottle sells for $500 or 250 pounds or about 67 galleons."

She continues on (not quite ad infinitum), "They have patented this and a whole lot of other products. Look here on page 120, see there -RESTOR-Kidneys and it heals your kidneys, so you no longer have kidney disease. Even Liver disease and a host of other diseases they have the cure to. Doctors are being out out of work, hospitals will not be able to make a profit, they will close. People will lose their jobs."

Harry, "But Hermione...." as she keeps on going.."So tell me Harry, when did your uncle get so smart all of a sudden? I know you were doing some potion testing the past few months down in Snapes office. Are you taking wizard medicine and selling it to the muggle world now?"

Harry being a smart wizard at times, decides the best way to fight a woman is to grab his wand and run for it, which he does along with Ron and the others. Otherwise Hermione will just keep on talking until the paint peels from the walls.

They run up to the common room.

Harry tried to tell her that the cure for a disease was a very good thing, She was telling him that people would lose their jobs if their was a cure for diseases.

Harry mused, 'so much for science.'

End of Chapter 2