Vernon Dursley, The Mad Muggle and The Floo of Doom.
Written by Wendy Holmes
Apologies to Sever Us who did a Severitus Challenge, My
CHAPTER 4-The Fake Prophecy
Harry left his Uncle Vernon's office and took the floo to Hogwarts, to the headmasters office. He exited the floo to see - Dumbledore shagging Moaning Myrtle on top of his office table. Now Myrtle really had a reason to moan. Myrtle looked up to see Harry standing there with a tent pole sized bulge in his pants. She said, "Oh hi'ya Harry. I really am glad to see you." at which time Dumbledore banished Myrtle back to the bathroom.
Dumbledore is smiling and his eyes are twinkling. Harry tells him, "I do not want to know about you and her. Uh, what spell do you use to shag a ghost anyways?"
Dumbledore, "Screwus Nee Ghostus and then the name of the ghost." Harry thanks him. He hands him the parchment he got from his uncle. Albus looks it over and hands it back.
Dumbledore, "Well so much for the prophecy it is over and done."
Harry, "Well I'll be going now.."
Dumbledore, "Remember Harry, Screwus Nee Ghostus and then the name of the ghost." as Harry leaves. Harry is thinking, 'Screwus Nee Humanus, Hermione' as a smile comes to his face and his tent pole arises again.
Harry goes back to the common room where he see's Hermione and Ron sitting there and talking. Harry sits next to Hermione. "Hermione, do you remember last summer when I you and Ron picked me up to take me to Platform 9 3/4?"
Hermione, "So.."
Harry, "Well I left my first thru 5th years spell books at home. Uncle Vernon read them. And he is now marketing wizard stuff to the muggle world."
Ron,"Whoa, he cannot do that. Muggles are not allowed to do it."
Harry, "He says he is a squib with a wild talent and his magic came into being right after I left. Then they went into Diagon Alley to the book store Flourish and Blotts, Madam Malkins, The Apothecary. They have wands also, but where did they get them?"
Hermione, "Your Uncle probably shot some wizards and took the wands from them."
Ron, "They never did find Avery, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott and Rookwood. Maybe they killed them and took their wands."
Just then, what a coincidence, an Owl flies into the common room, thru the Floo there and drops off a TV with DVD Player and a power box to run the TV. The box says WIZ-TV by CHEM-TRONICS.
They open the box to look at the TV. They find a DVD in it. Hermione turns on the TV, with the remote that came with it. The DVD door opens, she inserts a DVD that came with the box, then uses the remote to start playing the DVD.
On the screen you can see Death Eaters apparate into the clearing. You can see what appears to be muggles in wizard clothing machine gunning the death eaters with what appears to be nail guns, the kind that roofers use to nail roofs on muggle houses. His Uncle Vernon voice can be heard encouraging his buddies to whack them wizards. Within a few moments all of the death eaters are slain and a few of the muggles are wounded.
The wounded muggles drink a potion and their wounds are healed. Then the dead death eaters are stripped and buried. Their goods are set out on a table and divided amongst the muggle crew. Even Malfoy bottomless purse is displayed and the gold that fell out of it. Then Vernon lifts up a death eater mask and places in over his face. He turns to face the camera. He says, his face hidden, "This is what happens when these kinds of wizards come up against muggles with wild talent. Be warned you stupid wizards, you could be next.." and the DVD is kicked out of the DVD Player and the DVD crumbles to dust.
Harry looks around and see's that the common room has over 20 other students there who came to see what the noise was about. Instead they all saw part of the playing of the DVD.
Now all Trelawney should do is part with another dark lord prophecy, only a muggle one this time.. guess who..
That evening at dinner time in the great hall, right after Professor Dumbledore is thru with his evening announcement's, Professor Trelawney stands up as her face goes blank and she says.
Beware the rise of the dark squib
He will replace the dark lord
The squib will expose the wizarding world
to the muggle world.
Beware the power of the dark squib.
He has power you know not.
The One to conquer the Dark Squib,
is his relation.
Then Professor Trelawney collapses to the floor.
Professor Dumbledore stands up and tells the students to return to their common rooms. The House Elfs will bring dinner to them.
Professor Trelawney is levitated by Professor Snape and carried off to the hospital wing. Professor Dumbledore waves to Harry and asks him to come to his office. Hermione and Ron also come with him.
Professor Dumbledore tells Ron to go get the muggleborn and half-blood wizard and witches and bring them to his office. Ron goes to do that. Professor Dumbledore tells Harry and Hermione. We will have to keep the purebloods out of this, they being so clueless about the muggle world.
After they are there Ron is sent back to the common room. He is fuming to think he is not needed in this action. So he contacts the purebloods in Hogwarts and tells them that Dumbledore is only using muggleborn's and half bloods and that the purebloods are not needed..
Two clubs form up, the muggle club and the pureblood club.
The muggle club makes plans on going to work for the CHEM companies to get insider knowledge of the company. Harry will of course go to work for his Uncle in inventing things. Hermione will work with him. The muggles can do this and get away with it, because they were raised muggles.
So now the purebloods who have very little knowledge of how the muggle world works, will now step out and cause all kinds of problems, hardly without even trying.
A few of the muggleborn's who have received a lot of racism from the purebloods have decided to sweeten the pot with payback. They will snitch on the purebloods to the muggleborn's and the company if need be. Them purebloods will regret their pureblood ways.
And so now Professor Dumbledore, like a bee, has set his stinger once again for another round of war games. If they pureblood and the muggleborn had helped each other, there would be no war games.
Harry and Hermione try to get Ron and the pureblood club to join them and the muggleborn club so as to help each other. Ron is all upset and he insults Harry and Hermione by saying, "We purebloods do not need the help of mere muggle born monkeys, you stinking mudbloods."
And so another house division occurs thanks to THE BEE.
Meanwhile Harry sneaks down to the Hospital to see how Professor Trelawney is doing. He is under his invisibility cloak as he changes into his Animagus form of a virus. He clings to the wall next to her to watch. He see's Professor Dumbledore next to Professor Trelawney. He is telling her that she did an admiral job of faking a new prophecy.
"Professor Trelawney, we now will have the means to strip that muggle of all of his power. He is changing the muggle world to quickly. At the rate of progress he has made this past year he is likely to be Knighted or worse, become a member of Parliament."
Harry is lucky he learned the recording spell, because he has k=just visually recorded all that Professor Dumbledore said. Harry floats away as a virus, changes to a small flying insect and leaves the hospital wing and flies all the way back to them muggle club room where he morphs back to himself.
He uses a portkey his Uncle Vernon gave him and he goes directly to his Uncle and plays back what he recorded. Uncle Vernon is pissed off. He tell's Harry, "JUST WHO DOES THAT OLD BASTARD THINK HE IS.." then he calms down as Hank and Joe Jr. enter the room. The record is replayed so they can see it too.
Hank, "What is the name of that news paper you wizards get.?"
Harry, "The Daily Prophet."
Hank,. "Can that recording copied into a magical photograph?"
Harry, "WOW HANK, that is a great idea. We can publicize what Professor Dumbledore is up too."
So they make a copy of the recording. The following day Uncle Vernon buys out the Daily Prophet, listing Harry Potter as new owner, who promises that nothing but the truth will ever grace it pages from then on.
The day after that their is a new Daily Prophet issue. This issue is delivered to every witch or wizard in the Wizarding World regardless whether they have a subscription or not..
That day Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione and Ron during breakfast when owls fly in and everyone gets a copy of the Daily Prophet. Aurors are there as well and Professor Dumbledore and Professor Trelawney are arrested for treason. Professor Dumbledore is taken to Azkaban and put into a cell with Professor Trelawney. His cell is warded against magical use.
There is no more reason for the muggle club or the pureblood club. However many of the muggleborn's are hired by the CHEM Companies as inventors and charm, potion and spell makers.
They are paid handsome salaries. They become the new rich of the Wizarding World. CHEM-CO is a new wizarding company. Only muggleborn's need apply, because some of their work is also in the muggle world. The wizarding world and purebloods are so clueless of how the muggle world functions.
Their catalog sales are doing very well. They accept mail orders and owl orders, payment in British pounds or golden galleons. They have a series of vaults at Gringotts, each as big as a trolls bank vault, over 100 of them and they are filling up fast.
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Meanwhile Vernon soon learns that there are purebloods who hate him because of what he is doing to help both world, the wizarding world and the muggle world when he is nothing more than a mere squib with a wild talent./
He decides that it is time for The Mad Muggles of Diagon Alley to resurface. Hank. Joe, BBD and himself were the original 4 of the 20 or so para-military guys from the club. He has his usual floo connection of FPC, and one floo connection that accesses the magical world. He decides it is time to turn the floo's of the wizarding world into the FLOO OF DOOM.
END OF CHAPTER 4