A/N - I'm sorry I haven't updated in a long time. First my keyboard died on me (@&$*^&%$^* keyboard |-{ ), then I was on vacation on the West Coast. I've been doing quite a bit of travelling this year. I'll try to update more often, as long as my parents don't kick me outside, which is what they do when they think I'm 'spending my whole life on the computer'.

Disclaimer - you know what I do and don't own, especially if you've read Adventures of A Desperate Elf. All I can add to it is my very own hug from LEGOLAS!

Elrond in the Elevator

Ria hurriedly weaved her way through the junk across the basement floor to the old storeroom. Fumbling with the deadbolt, she finally managed to unlock it and fling it open.

"What on Earth are you guys up to?" she hissed.

The Squealer was sprawled across the floor. Gollum was crouched in a corner, his eyes gleaming green.

"What happened?"

Valin seemed abashed. "Thuh liddle slahmy guy stahrted insuhltin' us. Squealair went after the varmint, but it seems he tripped on suhmthin'."

"That's all?"

"It were no ordinary taunting, lass," Lhunath told Ria in a strained tone. "The wee beastie knows how to strike nerves, by Morgoth he's nae amateur at it."

"Smeagol?" Ria asked, her voice dangerous. "Is this true?"

Gollum snarled. "Nasssty Ria, she brings in the Dark Lord's servants, they will hurt poor Smeagol! Keep them away! Cruel Nazgul, cruel Ria!"

"Would you prefer you were dead after falling into the Cracks of Doom, Smeagol?" Ria snapped. "At least here you're alive, and you have another chance to start over. The Nazgul aren't bad, they really aren't. They could have killed us and taken the Ring but they didn't. They're no more evil than I am!"

"Nasssty Ria, poor Smeagol is on his own again..." muttered Gollum.

"Creature is small slimy the annoying," commented Andwath to Pennondo and Donarda in a low voice.

Exasperated, Ria gave up on Gollum for the moment and looked around at the Nazgul. "No more noise, OK guys? I don't want my parents to find you, they'd totally freak. They're a little tense about this kind of stuff. But my sister isn't. Have any of you thought of a way I could take you with me to Ontario yet?"

"I have an idea," said Telpekemen. "It'th thith. You thaid that thethe planeth have luggage compartmenth. Tho, we thneak into the one on the plane you're on, and Thmeagol cometh with uth. You thaid it'th cold, but we don't get cold. Pack thome blanket'th for Thmeagol and we'll be thet."

"Not bad," Ria said. "But how about getting off and through the airport without anyone noticing you?"

"We are the Nathgul," said Tepekemen proudly. "We won't have problemth."

She glanced askance at him. "OK, if you say so."

"Leave usss now, Ria, you mussst not raissse sssussspisssionsss," Goraldaion suggested. Ria nodded and shut the door behind her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ria, what was that sound?" her mother asked when she ascended the stairs back into the kitchen.

"A rat got caught in the mousetrap and it was thrashing around. I killed it and threw it in the field," Ria lied glibly. No need for her parents to know that the incident she described had actually happened sometime last week.

Ria was slow to finish supper, as she was not eager to face the others, nor the mess in her room from that morning.

"Oh, Ria," called her father from the kitchen as they cleared up, "would you mind going down to the grain elevator and returning that shovel to Mr. Tavis? I said I'd bring it back when I was done but I've got to go back to the fields for awhile."

"Right dad," Ria answered. She was out the door and grabbing the shovel from where it leaned against the side of the house before either one could say anything else.

She ran as fast as she could, the shovel held before her like a javelin as she dashed down the main street to the large white grain elevator standing alone at the far edge of town.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Mr. Tavis wasn't there when Ria opened the door in the elevator. She sneezed at the moldy chaff that floated in the air and carefully leaned the shovel against the wall near his office door.

Ria froze as a man's voice suddenly echoed around the grain elevator's dark interior. "Who goes there?"

"It's Ria," she called back hesitantly. It didn't sound like anyone she knew in town, and she knew almost everyone, but the building was well known for disorting sounds.

"And who might Ria be?" The voice was deep, authorative and a little pompous. There was a slight musical tone to it that occasionally broke and became harsher. Ria was now certain she had never heard this man before.

"Ria Fawcett. Where are you? Mr. Tavis is out. What do you want?"

"I am behind this large stack of exceedingly provoking hay. I wish to find my way out!"

"If you go to the left, there should be a pathway between the bales," she suggested.

Ria heard scuffling, and then a tall figure emerged out of the shadows into the gloomy half-light that the open door provided. He brushed himself off and plucked hay out of his clothes and hair.

"My thanks, my lady. What strange place may this be?"

Ria started choking, but not just from the fresh chaff and dust. This can't be happening, she thought in horror. It just can't! I don't need this, I really don't need this, why is he here -

"You are in a grain elevator," she managed to wheeze out. "And you are in the town of Eyebrow (My god, how ironic, she thought with nervous amusement), in the province of Saskatchewan, country of Canada."

"I know not these names." He frowned, his narrow face pale in the twilight.

"You wouldn't - Lord Elrond," Ria replied in a choked whisper.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N - poor, poor, Ria. Elrond AND the Nazgul AND Gollum? How much worse can it get?...

Please review. Isn't it a lovely word? To fanfiction authors it is like the tolling of a beautiful bell. Make me happy and review like you never have before. Suggestions are always welcome. Sometimes writer's block does get the better of me.