Notes: Wow, I honestly didn't expect such great feedback! I'm kind of floored. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I'm sorry this third installment took so long to start. I had every intention of finishing a different story I'm working on (Infectious – Firefly fic) before beginning this one, but then I finally thought of a beginning I liked and here we are. J
Chapter 2: Bound
Buffy was shocked. More then shocked, she was borderline appalled.
"You're having the dreams?" she finally managed.
"Aren't you?"
"Yes, but how did know that?"
"I guessed," he answered as if they were having a completely normal
conversation, "I'm not really certain how I knew, I just did. You're always in them so…"
"We don't need to go into details," Buffy blurted out feeling her cheeks go
red.
Xander just nodded as if it didn't matter.
"So what do you think they mean?" he asked after a minute or two passed.
"It doesn't mean anything," she said again quickly, "they're just dreams. Dreams are like that."
Xander was now looking confused.
"Buffy, if we're having the same nightmare…"
"Nightmare?" she interrupted, "It's not that bad is it? I mean, not all of it."
He held her gaze for a moment. For her part Buffy tried not to look too outraged, but she couldn't help it. Xander had basically just said having sex with her was a nightmare. It wasn't the type of thing you recovered from quickly.
"Mine are," he finally said giving up trying to interpret her expression and turning away.
Now it was Buffy's turn to look confused. To be honest the physical part of the dreams hadn't bothered her really, only embarrassed her. They were nice. Nice might be a bit of an understatement, but she didn't want to delve. For now that part was nice and she'd leave it at that. There was too much going on to start thinking about things like that.
"What are yours about?" she asked.
"It's hard to say, they're always changing."
He was being evasive, but she was patient. Buffy said nothing and just waited for him to continue, hoping he would.
"I'm in this place… it's not here, I'm not sure where it is but everything has this dull orange tint, like it's on fire or something. And it smells… like sulfur… or death…it's foul."
Xander took a deep breath and almost seemed to will himself to speak.
"There aren't really buildings or places, just these holes, like creek beds I guess, with people packed into them, filled all the way…"
He stopped. Buffy wasn't sure if he was going to keep going, the look on his face was terrifying.
"They're crammed in so close that they can't move, but they're screaming, all of them, and the noise and blood…"
"Xander…" Buffy said gently, rousing him from the trance he'd seemingly fell into.
"Constance is there.
Sometimes she's screaming too and… other times she's laughing."
Xander began subconsciously tugging at the corners of his cast. He did it now and again sometimes when he was uncomfortable. Constance had healed it to the point where he'd be able to use it again, but not completely. It was still fractured and would take some time before it would be completely whole.
"Go on," she encouraged emphasizing it by grapping hold of his good hand and affectively stopping his nervous habit. He smiled a bit at her and continued.
"Constance, she doesn't seem to know I'm there. At least I don't think she does. A lot of time she's just watching that sea of people struggle. I think she finds it amusing. Always, before the dream ends, you're there too, but you don't seem to know it. You have your eyes shut and you look… you look….I guess peaceful, it doesn't seem to bother you, none of it. And when I talk you smile, but as soon as you open your eyes…"
She knew the rest.
"So what happened tonight?
What made you go into the bathroom?"
He was still reluctant to talk about it, but she persisted.
"I just wanted it to stop."
She nodded and turned from him briefly. It was another one of their new rituals. She'd turn away and pretend to find something interesting to look at on the wall or on the floor while he wiped his eyes and pretended he hadn't started to cry.
"Buffy, I'm having them while I'm awake now."
Part of her went cold.
"I was awake tonight when it happened, watching television. At first I thought that I must have drifted off, that I really was asleep. But I wasn't. It was coming in all around me, the strange colors, the smell, and the…. I think I tried to run from it, but it just swallowed me. It was everywhere."
"How long has this been happening?"
"That was the first time," he said shaking his head. He was shivering now. So was Buffy.
"Do you think I'm dreaming about where they sent her?" he asked. Xander sounded almost like he was sorry for her.
Buffy didn't trust herself to answer that; she had no sympathy for that woman. Instead she changed the subject.
"When we talked in the bathroom, were you there then? Were you inside it?"
"I don't know. I really don't."
They both remained still, just staring straight ahead. His hand in hers.
"I don't know if I'm here now Buffy."
****
Giles had been explaining what had happened to a horrified Willow and Tara when Buffy came from the back room later that morning.
"He's not seriously hurt. I think he must have used his cast…"
"Buffy," Willow cut him off when she spotted her, "how is he?"
Buffy kind of shrugged, not sure what to say. It had been a long, long morning.
"Did he tell you anything more?" Giles asked.
This is what it was like now. Xander would only really talk to Buffy, so it was her job to relay information back to the rest of them. The only problem with that was she was never certain how much of it he really wanted them to know. It put her in a bad position. She wanted him to trust her and keep talking, it was about the only thing keeping him grounded, but she also wanted him to get well. And the only way he was going to get well was if she spilled his secrets to the others. The whole thing was beginning to wear her out and it hadn't even been a week.
"I think we need to seriously reconsider a sleeping aide for him," she said as she sat down heavily on the couch.
"That bad?" Tara asked really concerned.
Buffy just nodded, but Giles was already shaking his head.
"We can't Buffy, I'm sorry.
We've discussed it and it's not an option."
"Giles, he's barely getting enough sleep to function," Buffy began, "He's having dreams like mine, only worse. Much worse."
Giles seemed to perk up at this.
"Really?"
"You're having nightmares?" Willow asked, "Like prophecy nightmares or the garden variety?"
Buffy didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure if she could answer that, how to answer that. Luckily, Giles rescued her.
"This is interesting."
"Well, I'm glad you think so. I'll go out on a limb and assume Xander would agree with me in saying that they wouldn't be quite so interesting if you were the one having them."
Giles seemed to snap back to reality.
"No, of course not.
Not interesting good, it's just that I was reading something earlier
about this sort of thing. I wasn't sure
if it was the case but now… You say
they're identical, your dreams and his?"
Buffy managed to remain composed.
"Not identical, but they end the same."
Giles gave her a funny sort of look as she said it, one that went unnoticed by Willow and Tara, one they weren't meant to see. Buffy understood it, he was on to her. He had figured out why she had been so reluctant to relate the whole of her dreams to him.
"How are they different?" Tara asked innocently unaware of the turmoil the question caused her.
Buffy blushed.
"They're… well… it's hard to say."
Giles actually had the nerve to smirk as the others sat eagerly looking to Buffy to fill them in on the details.
"It's not important," Buffy said in a hurry redirecting them
back to Giles, "you said you thought you figured it out right. So what does it mean?"
Clearly Giles was done playing. His face grew somewhat stern as he spoke.
"I believe that the link Constance created to Xander is stronger then we thought."
The three of them sat still, absorbed in his words. Not weeks earlier Xander had offered up his soul in exchange for Buffy's life to Constance. While she had obtained it for only minutes it had been long enough to allow her a way back into the world after her demise. She'd formed a bond between the two of them and she was powerful. So powerful in fact her parting gift had been to curse Xander with the Furies Poison, a powerful spell that ultimately drove the inflicted mad. Thinking that it was already too late to save Xander, Giles undid a binding ritual to hold Constance to this dimension and instead sent her to another. Only afterwards did they find out that Xander had lied to them just to be rid of her, never believing she would cure him or leave the others alone.
"Whether or not Constance knows it now, they are still connected. The dreams, especially the one last night, are a strong indication of it. The connection should have severed when she was bound to another world, but somehow she held on."
"So what does this mean?" Willow asked, "She's coming back?"
Willow didn't know if she should be hopeful or angry. If Constance returned she could lift the curse. She was technically the only one who could. Willow had poured through book and book and found no other answer. If Xander were ever going to get better Constance would have to be the one to cure him. She hated Constance. Hated her more then she thought herself capable of, but she was it. She was the only answer.
"Not necessarily," Giles answered. "That is one of the scenarios.
The best possible outcome would be that the link would just fade
naturally. If Constance isn't aware of
it that just might happen."
"What else could?" Buffy asked growing concerned.
"Constance could use it as before and possess Xander's
body. Even that we could deal with."
"Why do I feel like there's a but following that sentence," Willow said
apprehensively.
"But," he continued nodding his head, "what we could not deal with is the reverse."
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.
"There is the possibility that Constance could use the link to pull Xander into her dimension."
"Could she really do that?" Tara asked sounding scared.
"Giles, what do we do?" Willow asked nearly at the same time.
Buffy said nothing. She was thinking about the words Xander had used to describe what had happened that night. He said it felt like it had swallowed him. She shuddered as she remembered his description of the place.
"It's happening," she said out loud without really meaning too.
"Buffy?" Willow called turning to her.
"She's going to do it. The dreams. He said they're happening now while he's awake. It's why he's been trying to stay awake, but now even that's not working. Constance must know now, she's going to pull in."
"We have to stop it," Willow said with some uncertainty, "don't we?"
Giles hadn't heard Willow; he was looking at Buffy deeply concerned.
"There's more," he began again, "Buffy, I think there is also a link between you and Xander."
There were so many things the three of them wanted to say, but only Buffy spoke.
"How?"
"I believe that when Xander sacrificed himself for you he inadvertently created a bond. That would explain why he's more himself around you. Ordinarily, this the exact type of thing we'd need to help combat the Furies curse. It would normally help him stay grounded and fight it. However, in this case…"
"Don't you think I'd know if Xander and I had some sore of mystical connection? That sounds like something I might notice."
They all looked at her skeptically. They'd all seen her behavior lately and it wasn't normal.
"I would."
"Buffy," Giles began again, "you haven't exactly been acting rationally concerning Xander these past weeks and the bond, if it exists, would explain that."
"That doesn't prove anything," Buffy countered, "we've all been acting different. We've had too."
"The dreams."
She was trying hard to doubt it, but she knew the dreams were more then just typical. They were proof of something more; she just didn't want to admit it.
"Buffy, he's been calling out to you in these dreams. Getting your attention. Probably without realizing he was."
It had definitely got her attention.
"The part of your dream that you say is identical to his, it's because it is his. He's pulling you into his dreams Buffy."
Willow and Tara were entirely too quiet. She needed them to talk, say something. Anything. It was too much right now to have them all focusing on her.
"It's why you can't be around him any longer."
Buffy looked at him. Glared at
him. It only served to confirm what
Giles suspected. Buffy was always
protective of her friends and family, but this was overkill.
"Why? You can't do that Giles. I'm the only one he trusts right now. I'm the only one he talks too. You'll be isolating him. I won't let you do that."
Willow looked a bit hurt by this but said nothing.
"Buffy," Giles said with all seriousness, "I'm not trying to be mean. It's for your own good. Both of yours."
"How could this possibly be good?" Buffy practically yelled.
"The further away you are the weaker the bond should become."
"That hasn't seemed the case with Constance?"
"True," Giles agreed, "However Constance had possession of Xander's soul. And while a slayer is powerful, I think we can agree that Constance might be more so. She has made effort to continue it."
"But he wouldn't hurt her Giles," Willow contended feeling the need to add something and defuse the situation. She hadn't seen Buffy so angry in some time.
"That's right," Buffy said.
"No, not intentionally. But if Constance does pull him over, Xander could very well take you with him."