Notes: I have no excuses for taking so long. Sorry for the wait.
Chapter 3: Denied
"Giles you can't be serious?" Willow asked.
Someone had to say something. For a good five minutes there had been silence following Giles' revelation. Buffy and Giles had just locked glares and neither looked like they were about to back down anytime soon.
"Giles?" Willow implored.
"I am serious," Giles answered without looking away.
"So what am I suppose to do? Abandon him?"
It was as if Buffy saw no one else but Giles. She was so intent on him, so visibly upset that it made him wonder if perhaps the bond had been so strong that the Furies poison might have infected her as well.
"No one is asking you to do that," he tried to reason.
"That's exactly what it sounds like."
"Buffy please."
"How can you be so certain?" Willow interjected. She was beginning to see Giles' point, but didn't want it to appear as if they were all against her. This was not normal Buffy behavior.
Buffy finally took notice of her again and nodded her agreement.
"Well try a test."
They all seemed all right with the idea.
"Okay," Buffy asked, "what kind?"
"Well, first we'll need to stop by the shop and pick a few things up. I'll have to do so research, so if you wouldn't mind watching the front, we should be ready by this evening."
Buffy looked skeptical.
"What about Xander?"
"He'll stay here," Giles said grabbing his coat, "Willow and Tara, I'm certain, won't mind. Right?"
As Buffy turned to face them looking as if she hoped it would be a problem, Willow saw the look. Giles distinctly gave her a 'go along with me' look. He must be really nervous about this whole 'bond' thing.
"No problem at all," Tara said. She must have caught it too.
Buffy looked a bit disappointed, but agreed. Giles did need the help, she reasoned, what with Anya no longer around.
Buffy hadn't thought much about Anya in the last few days. Ever since she heard about her little vanishing act the night Constance was sent away, she was sort of glad. Buffy didn't think she'd be able to stop herself from giving Anya a good slap across the face if she had run into her.
"I should probably go tell him I'm going then," Buffy said as she started towards the hall.
"You wouldn't want to wake him," Willow said rather quickly, hoping she hadn't just blown it.
"Yeah," Tara added, "he's probably resting."
Buffy furrowed her brow but didn't continue towards the room.
"Okay then," she said as she left, "we'll be back soon."
"Bye," Tara called to them as they left.
"That was weird," Willow said as soon as they were gone.
"Do you think Giles is right?"
"He must be, you saw Buffy. I mean, we both like Xander and we're all worried about him, but she's like obsessed."
"She was being a bit motherly."
"Yeah," Willow said as she sat down on the couch, "Oh that
reminds me, I forgot to talk with Giles about the what we found."
"We'll talk to him tonight sweetie," Tara said instantly understanding what she meant.
"I guess you're right," Willow said a bit down.
Tara and Willow had been doing research on the Furies the last few nights. They'd found out a lot in the last few days but nothing significant, until last night. They found something they thought might actually help Xander. The Furies, or Erinyes, were Roman and Greek punishers of crime. But not just any crime, they specifically dealt with punishing sinners who escaped human justice. Almost like vengeance demons. And like most vengeance demons they had a specialty. Theirs was matricide. Xander, while not a saint, was definitely not on par with the average Furies victim. Willow had thought if they could only plead his case they might have a chance of getting the Furies to lift the curse.
"It can wait," Willow added.
In a way she was glad. She wasn't
really certain Giles would go along with her idea.
"Do you think…" Tara began and then stopped abruptly.
"What?"
"No really, it was a bad idea."
"No. I won't think it's bad. I'm sure it's a good idea."
"Okay," Tara began again hesitantly. "Do you think, maybe, we should ask Anya?"
The look on Willow's face clearly showed her dislike.
"She was a vengeance demon," Tara said in an attempt to explain her rationale, "and aside from Giles, she's the only one who knows anything at the Furies Poison."
Willow just nodded.
"It couldn't hurt to just ask, right?"
"No you're right," Willow finally agreed, "it couldn't. I don't think she'll help, but we could at least ask."
Tara smiled. She hadn't liked what Anya had done any more then Willow or the rest of them, but they were trying to save Xander here. They didn't have time for disagreements.
They had to work together, like it or not.
"I'll go," Willow said suddenly.
"Now?" Tara asked unable to hide the surprise in her
voice. "What about Xander? We can't just leave him."
"No and you won't. I'll go. Alone."
Tara wasn't sure she liked the look on Willow's face.
"Are you sure? Maybe you should wait. Maybe I should go."
"I'll be fine."
It wasn't exactly Willow Tara was worried about.
"And I won't do anything to her," Willow continued, reading the look on her girlfriend's face.
"If you're sure."
"I am," Willow said as she readied herself to go, "I won't be long."
As Tara watched her leave she had the sinking feeling that she should have gone with her first instinct. She should have never brought up Anya.
****
Xander hadn't meant to eavesdrop. He really hadn't. But when he had left his room he had heard Giles and the others talking about him and he'd stopped.
He didn't like them constantly talking about him when he wasn't around. It made him uncomfortable. But this conversation had been especially unnerving.
If it was true it would explain a lot.
The dreams were terrifying.
The first time he'd shut his eyes after Constance's disappearance he'd begun to have them. He was always caught in a sea of people, pushing and pulling. Ripping and tugging at him. Every last one of them covered with blood. And Constance was there always out of reach, laughing or screaming; he wasn't sure which. It seemed no matter which way he wanted to go he was being pushed the other. He felt that if he could just reach Constance it might all end. Then, without really knowing it he'd find himself wishing someone else was there with him. Then he'd begin calling for help, actually yelling was more accurate. And Buffy always showed up. Her presence seemed to always calm him and wake him from the dreams. In a way it allowed him a way back. Until last night.
Even after she showed up in his dream last night, the one that happened while he was still awake, he'd remained behind. Not entirely, the real world had seemed to seep in around him, just as the dream world once had. If was as if he was neither really here nor there.
Now back in his room, Xander paced.
He was conflicted. Extremely conflicted. He knew that the best thing for him to do would be to leave. If he was hurting Buffy, well he couldn't stomach that thought for long. He had to be strong. He had to do this. And if Giles thought that distance might do the trick, then he'd be willing to try it.
It was going to be hard. Xander had come to rely on Buffy, heavily rely. She hadn't been lying when she'd said that she was the only one he trusted. It was true. Not that he didn't trust Giles and Willow, or even Tara; he just didn't trust them in the way he did Buffy. Not anymore at least.
So he'd go. He didn't know where and he didn't know for how long, but he'd go.
Xander finally stood still but not because he was decided. He stood still for an entirely different
reason.
He felt it coming.
It was distant, but it was approaching. Almost like a wave.
And he heard it now.
Voices. The sea of voices.
The were whispering now, still far away, but closer then they had been. Soon they'd be so overwhelming loud he wouldn't be able to think.
It was just like last night only this time it felt more real, less dreamlike. This time he was certain he was awake.
The room began to lilt to one side as Xander found himself on the floor.
He was nauseous and terrified.
Everything looked orange. And the smell. He smelt death everywhere. Rotten, like decaying leaves. Or burnt hair.
Backing himself against the wall by the bed, Xander began to take deep breaths. He tried to calm himself, all the while remembering not to call for help. Not to even think of her. He would not take her in with him this time. He would not.
And the calmer he became the cleaner the air began to smell.
And then the voices began to grow distant again.
He was seeing clearer now. Nearly normal.
It felt like the tidal wave was receding.
Xander took a few more deep breaths. It was the nearest he'd been to happy in a long, long time and it felt good.
He'd done it. He'd stopped it.
"That wasn't so…"
Xander let out a yelp as he saw an arm, yellow and rotting, reach from under the bed and grab hold of his leg.
"No," he started to yell, but it was too late.
Some things would never be denied.
****
"Xander?" Tara asked from the behind the door after knocking for the third time.
She silently debated on whether or not to peek in at him. She had heard him talking, rather loudly about something she didn't quite catch. Worse, she thought she'd heard him scream.
She made up her mind and opened the door.
"Are you awake?" she asked. The room was kind of dark, but she didn't want to risk the light in case he was sleeping. She couldn't be certain since Xander seemed to like the dark lately, always keeping the curtains drawn and most of the lights off.
The further she got into the room, the odder it seemed. Something wasn't right. Tara grew certain that Xander was not in his bed. And the room smelt funny to her. It was an odor she couldn't place, but not a pleasant one.
She turned on a lamp sitting on the nightstand. It gave off just enough light for her to see that not only the bed, but also the room was indeed empty.
Tara was on the edge of panic. She called out to him a few more times, not really knowing why. He obviously wasn't here.
She pulled back the curtains and began a quick search of the room. Next, she tried the bathroom. Then Giles' room upstairs. Xander was not in the apartment and Tara had no idea what she was going to tell Willow and the others.
She stood in the doorway telephone in hand trying to find the willpower and the words to do it when she saw something.
On the carpet, near the bed, was a stain of some sort.
She got closer, all the way to the floor, and just stared at it.
It wasn't a big stain, but it was enough for her to feel that she had never really been frightened until now.
It was blood and it was fresh.
Tara put down the phone and prepared herself to check the one place she hadn't.
She did it quick, reasoning that that was best. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. Whipped back the bedspread while she still had the nerve to check where the blood had came from.
She might have been less surprised to have actually found Xander, dead or alive.
As it was, all she saw was nothing. And nothing had never seemed emptier.