Disclaimer: No, I don't own 7th Heaven, you all know that, right? Right.
A/N: Ok, this is just something I thought up one night when I was over-tired and sugar high from this wonderful frozen drink called Creamy Dreamy Orange. I thought to myself, what if one of our own was thrown into the Camden world? And I don't mean someone who worshipped the show, but, rather, someone who loves the parodies and general mocking. Thus, Michaela was created this is her story. I have 3 chapters done (the first and 3rd ones are pretty short) and I'm not sure how long it'll go (probably depend on my enthusiasm and how many reviews :p). Anyway, for the purpose of being able to insult them to their faces, Mary and Matt are at home and Robbie never left. Okay, I know there are people who don't like the parodies of 7th Heaven so I'm telling you now that it is one so stop reading if you think it will insult you. I don't mind getting flamed for this, but it really won't matter at all to me or make me stop, so you'll be wasting your time. Save your energy and go read something you'll like. Anyway, to everyone else, hope you enjoy.....
Chapter one "Sisters"
Angry yelling that seemed to be right next to her interrupted Michaela's happy dream involving various gorgeous celebrities waiting on her hand and foot. Eyes still shut, she tried to figure out what could be happening. Her parents wouldn't be arguing in her room and she was an only child so she could only imagine she was hearing things. Her eyelids drowsily came up and instead of seeing her big room with powder blue walls full of only her stuff and her, Michaela seemed to be in some sort of attic and there were two other beds and two other people in front of her. One looked to be about 12 or 14 with dark hair and was smirking up at the other, a short, blonde girl with a chipmunk type face which was currently pinched into a deep frown. All the noise appeared to be coming from them...
"Ruthie! You looked in my diary again!" The blonde yelled.
"I did not. Besides, you're a grown woman, why do you still have a diary?" The dark haired one kept smirking, it was kind of irritating.
"That's not the point!"
As Michaela slowly began to wake up, she realized the voices were familiar, the faces too, even the room seemed to be somewhere she'd been before. Then what the blonde had called the younger one hit her: Ruthie. She stared at them harder and a light bulb clicked over her head: they were the characters in 7th Heaven! For a horrible moment, she thought she had actually been somehow transported there, but no that was impossible. Surely, she thought to herself, this was just a dream. No one would be so cruel as to stick her in such a place. She would close her eyes and then when she opened them... she still saw Ruthie and Lucy fighting. Ok, one more time... still the all-knowing child and spineless one in front of her. Oh well, eventually she'd wake up, right? RIGHT? Panic began filling her as she hurried to pinch herself, trying to awaken. All that came out of it were some painful marks. "Noooooooooooooo", she wailed loudly, overcome with grief. The other two girls in the room turned quickly at the pitiful sound. "Michaela, are you all right?" Lucy asked, concerned. No, how can they know my name? Michaela thought to herself, telling Lucy, "I'm fine." "Are you sure?" Ruthie asked, "You can tell us if something is wrong, that's what sisters are for", she offered in her know-it-all-because-I'm-an-omnipotent-child-so-hah-on-you voice. Sisters the horrible word ran through Michaela's head, she was related to them. All the components of this came flashing through next... hair challenged Matt was her brother, come-wax-my-eyebrows Simon was too, I-love-me-and-old-men Mary her sister, the reverend Erik Camden of no religion was her father, hey-kids-go-live-in-an-unfinished-garage Annie was her mother, and the identity-less twins were her brothers, admittedly, she'd never disliked the twins but it was freaky how often they spoke in unison. Also, she'd have to deal with abusive robot-man Kevin and dopey (but cute) Ben and why-aren't-I-on-a-better-show Roxanne and every stupid secondary character that appeared. It seemed just too much to take, what had she done that was so awful that fate felt the need to do this to her?! The tears began and she couldn't stop sobbing. Lucy was confused for a moment, wasn't she the crier? Ruthie, with all her wisdom, could tell something was wrong with Michaela and that something had caused her to cry. She nodded to herself in deference to her insight. Michaela, meanwhile, was busy trying to think of something not so dire about the situation. She then remembered she'd forgotten a member: Robbie. He wasn't so bad, at least he didn't make her want to gouge her eyes out with a spoon. Speaking of members, with her added, it wasn't 7th heaven anymore. Of course, she wouldn't show up on TV so she supposed it didn't matter. As these passed idly through her head, she stood up and wiped away the tear tracks on her face. She would go and take a shower and fully wake up, all the while thinking and she would discover an upside.
And she did. For just about every single episode ever aired, Michaela had wanted to physically harm the characters for being the idiots they were. Now, she wasn't going to attack them, but she would finally be able to vent her feelings. She would tell everyone exactly what she thought of them. It could, quite possibly, be one of the happiest times of her life.......