Chapter 6: The Maniae
"I miss ice cream."
"Do you?" Buffy asked as she took another spoonful to her mouth.
"I remember the first time I had it. Do you know that ice cream can be traced back to the Roman Empire? It's that old. But I never had any as a child."
"Really?"
"No. The first time I had it was the St. Louis world's fair. It was heavenly."
"I'm surprised you know anything about heaven."
Constance smiled at her.
"Why are you here?" Buffy asked as if she suddenly remembered her hatred for the woman in front of her.
"Why are any of us here?"
Together they sat in brilliant sunshine at a street café. Crowds of people buzzed about without making any real noise. They seemed to be moving too fast. They were almost a blur as they surrounded the two women.
"Well?"
"A chat."
"We're friends now?" Buffy asked her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Something like that."
Buffy continued to stare at her. The sun had set and it had grown dark in a matter of seconds. The streets were now deserted but brilliantly lit by street signs and lamp lights.
"The Maniae are upon him," Constance finally said. For the first time Buffy thought she saw something behind the woman's normally cold pale eyes. Something familiar.
"Why are you telling me this? What does that mean?"
"It means what it means. And I'm telling you because I can."
Buffy's head felt funny. Cloudy. She'd felt this way before but she couldn't place when.
"He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster." *
Again Buffy looked at Constance not understanding. But the feeling was becoming stronger inside of her.
"I was once like you," Constance continued sounding sad.
"We're nothing alike."
"You keep telling yourself that. I'm sure that's what you said to Faith too."
"How…"
"I have his memories. Although I'm
certain his memories of her are a bit different from yours. Would you like to compare them?"
This was the Constance she knew, at least more like the one she knew. The lights had faded and the sun was rising. People once again ran about them. For a moment Buffy lost herself to her surroundings.
"What were we talking about?" she asked, confused again.
"The Maniae."
Buffy looked at Constance, really looked at her this time. She seemed uncomfortable.
"Your not her."
No answer.
"Your not Constance. Who…"
Buffy was about to ask who it was, but she had an idea already.
"I should get back."
"There's nothing to get back too."
****
Buffy awoke with a start. She hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep on the couch. She looked over and saw Willow at the table reading. Giles was on the phone. It took a moment to remember where Xander was. Without further hesitation she got up and heading in that direction. She could tell the others about the dream later but that last part was sticking with her. Echoing inside her head.
'There's nothing to get back too.'
That and Buffy had plenty of questions to ask.
Buffy slowly pushed the door open, just enough to make out Xander lying on the bed. She was about to leave when he asked her to come in.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
"Don't be."
"I know you're all trying to help. It's just that you're all wasting your time."
Buffy sat down beside him. She didn't know what to say to that.
"How's your arms?" she asked instead.
"Fine. Cast saved a lot of my right arm."
"Do you want to talk about it now?"
"No."
"Ever?"
"Probably not."
Buffy nodded.
"Xander, can I ask you some things?"
"I can't say I'll answer."
"Fair enough. How
did you know about that spell?"
Xander turned and faced her.
"I'm not sure," he said shaking his head, "I just knew. I think it might be left over from Constance. A lot of the stuff she forced into my head is still floating around up there. I heard you guys talking about it and just had to add something."
Buffy nodded again.
"I made it worse didn't I?"
"What worse?" Buffy asked.
"For them. They're afraid of me now."
"They're not afraid of you. For you yes. But not of you."
She could tell Xander didn't believe her.
"Come back with me," she started, "I need to talk to Giles
and you should be a part of this."
"I can't."
"Yes you can. Xander you have to fight this. I know it's not what you want to hear from me, but I'm not giving up. And I won't let you."
"I wish you would," his voice was beginning to waiver, "It's hard Buffy. It would be so easy to just give into this. But I can't because you won't let go."
For a moment between the tone of his voice and the look on his face she considered it. If she let go he could be at peace. He wouldn't be tormented. He wouldn't afraid. He wouldn't be anything.
"I can't," she said, her own voice beginning to crack, "I'm sorry, I can't."
For a few minutes more neither spoke. Finally Buffy had to ask. She had to know.
"Was it you?"
Xander knew what she meant. He knew because it had been him. He had figured out how to use the link to communicate with her in dreams and had used it. Xander had wanted her scared. It wasn't something he was proud of but he felt he had to do it. To at least try. But he couldn't admit it to her so he said nothing.
She nodded, guessing mostly correctly about the situation as a whole. She didn't fully understand his motives, but she felt the gist behind it. Xander would from this point on be pushing her away at any cost.
Buffy knew that she'd just have to push back.
****
Giles got off the phone with Joyce, letting her know that Buffy and company were here and safe. It had been getting late and he hadn't wanted her worrying.
"Where's Buffy gone?" he asked Willow as he stepped out of the kitchen.
Willow didn't look up, just pointed towards the hallway.
Giles nodded and sat down beside her and picked up a different book.
After some time Buffy joined them. Alone.
"How is he?" Giles asked.
Buffy didn't answer. At the moment she couldn't trust herself to talk.
Willow was now looking at her too.
"How's the research going?" Buffy asked, changing the topic.
"Fine," Giles answered still eyeing her warily.
"Buffy are you okay?" Willow asked not willing to let it go.
"Yeah," she answered carefully avoiding their eyes.
After a beat she brought up the dream.
"Constance said something about manicotti? No, wait. Mani…Mani…"
"The Maniae?" Willow asked.
"That's it. What you
said. What's that mean?"
"It's another name for the Furies. They
had many names. The Furies. The Erinyes. The Praxidikae."
"What does it mean though?"
"The madness," Giles answered her, "The Maniae means the madness. And she said it was upon him?"
Buffy nodded.
"Did it seem like Constance?" Giles asked her cautiously. He was still worried about Constance using the connection between Xander and Buffy.
Buffy felt the need to tread lightly here. She didn't want them to think, as Xander obviously wanted her to, that Constance was exploiting the link.
"At times she seemed familiar enough, but no. Definitely a dream version."
Giles wasn't all together convinced.
Buffy checked the time. Nearly midnight.
"Willow, want me to walk you back to your place? I could do a mini-patrol on the way."
"Sounds like a plan," she said gathering up her things. She was anxious to get back and check on Tara.
"Be careful," Giles said more out of habit then anything else. Sunnydale had been surprisingly void of unusual activity since Constance first arrived.
"I'll be back in a few hours," Buffy said answering his next question before he could ask it.
"I'll wait up then," Giles said as he walked the two to the door.
Startled was not the word for it. As Giles turned round Xander was only about four feet from him. He had nearly fallen out of his skin.
"Sorry," Xander said and looked down, "I was trying to catch Buffy before she left."
"It's alright. She'll be back soon."
"Okay," Xander said and started to leave.
"Wait Xander. Can I
ask you something?"
Xander turned back round and nodded.
"How are you feeling now? Better?"
"Better then before," he nodded but didn't look it. He was rubbing his hands again.
"Did Buffy tell you about her dream?"
"Yeah," Xander said quietly. "A little
bit. Not much."
"Would you like something to drink? Tea perhaps?"
"Okay," Xander said sitting at the table while Giles started getting things together.
"We haven't been treating you the way we should be," Giles said from the kitchen.
Xander said nothing so Giles just continued.
"We've been leaving you to much to yourself. Buffy was right in trying to include you. From now on I'll do the same."
"I wish you wouldn't."
"Oh yes, I know that," Giles said, "we're making it easy for
you to just slip away. But not
anymore. You could help us. You've shown me that tonight."
"How? I can't do anything."
"Yes you can because you know Constance," Giles said sitting down at the table with him, "She's given you her memories, that's how you knew about the spell."
Xander looked up at him but didn't confirm it.
"That's how you knew about the Maniae."
"How did you…"
"A guess," Giles said sitting back, "until now. When did you learn to use the bond like
that?"
"I didn't even know about it until today. I heard you talking this morning. Before then it really was just an accident."
"You could have used it to call for help this afternoon."
"I don't want to hurt Buffy. I was afraid of what you'd said. That I'd pull her over with me."
Giles nodded.
"So how? How did you do it tonight?"
"I'm not sure how. It's like the linking spell. I just thought about it and knew what to do."
"Why Constance?"
"I thought if she had Constance in her dreams she might think that you were right. That Constance could get to her through me. But she didn't believe it. I used as much of Constance as I could without actually calling her too. I didn't want her really there."
"Do you think you could have actually contacted Constance?" Giles asked with some concern.
Xander nodded.
For a moment they sat in silence.
"Are you going to tell her?" Xander asked.
"No, not unless you do it again. But you should consider telling her yourself."
Xander shrugged, uncertain of it.
"And I am serious. No more hiding from us. From this. We really can't help you unless you want our help."
Giles got up to take the kettle from the stove. When he returned he was somewhat surprised that Xander was still there.
"I'll try," Xander said softly, just above a whisper, looking at the table.
It was all Giles could ask for.
****
* A/N: "He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster." Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
A/N on Revision: Generally I don't do massive revisions like this. I typically only edit grammar not content, but felt I had to this time. Obviously I changed a lot of the dream sequence plus beefed up other parts to reflect the changes. The more I thought on it the more I felt that Buffy, having a link to Xander, should be able to sense it was really him in the dream. This is what's been holding up my progress. Sorry about that.