Ok guys, I know it has been FOREVER. Between my personal life becoming ... difficult and my laptop crashing over and over again, this story got on the back burner. Also, due to the WB not airing on my cable anymore, it's hard for me to watch 7th Heaven. However, as this is a parody, I've decided I don't care if it matches the show or not anymore, muahahahahahahha! hehe, anyway, I was reading through and got inspired! Also, I wanted to fulfill a certain cambodian mime request, lol. And don't worry, Lucy shall pay her dues. If anyone has anything else they want to see, do tell :D It's short, but it's here....

Chapter Six "Small Issues"

Ruthie Camden walked into her dark attic room. Lucy was with her fiance, soothing his hurt robotic feelings over Michaela's words. Ruthie glanced around and satisfied herself that she was alone. Her wayward sister was probably off yelling at some other family member. Ruthie actually found it all very amusing, she held a great disdain for her family as well. However, she sensed Michaela would become dangerous, so she had to make sure the girl was kept in line.

She crept over to the hidden compartment beneath the floorboards under her bed. Prying the boards out, she stuck a hand in and grasped.... ... ... nothing. Wait, a piece of paper. Ruthie held it up and read it in the dim light. Her eyes narrowed, Michaela.

Meanwhile, the girl in question was wandering about outside the house, trying to get a handle on everything. Obviously she had been put there for a reason. To make the Camdens pay for their idiocy. Who knows? Maybe it was even a work of God. She and the twins were deep in their planning. In the end, revenge would be sweet.

She heard soft voices coming from the backyard. Her mind told her to ignore it, but it was like a car accident, she HAD to see. Readying herself, Michaela entered a very odd sight indeed.

The Reverend was sitting on a tree stump with his guitar. Sitting around him were Annie gripping the twins, and... her eyes widened. A man that appeared to be a mime. He also appeared to be one of the few minorities that were allowed on the show. Of course, his nationality had to play some part, otherwise he would be cast out. The mime was currently making the motions of a machine gun and chickens. Eric was strumming his guitar and singing softly, "But when you're down, when your village has been torn up, your chickens shot, come to the loooooooooooooord, ohh come to the loooooooooooooord".

"Um", Michaela was speechless, "Umm.."

Eric looked up, "Michaela! I'm so glad you're here. Please, sit. I was just telling Mochi here that no matter what, god can help him".

She was so stunned, she actually sat down next to Annie. The twins broke free and went to her.

"Help us!" Sam whispered, "This has been going on for an HOUR!"

"He won't stop", David whimpered, "The mime man tried to leave, but they wouldn't let him!"

Michaela sighed and turned her attention back to Eric to hear him say, "Mochi ,you can get through everything. I've had hard times too. Once my eldest daughter had almost a whole beer, and my adult son doesn't always do exactly as I tell him. You may not believe this, but we've even dealt with one of my sons getting drunk. But we have been able to got through this devastation, and even help others along the way. They don't always know that they need help, but we show them the light. So don't let yourself drown in the fact that your whole family has been stolen away from you back in Cambodia, because, as you can see, I have weathered worse and come through shining".

At this point, Michaela expected the mime to pull out a real gun and blow Eric's self-righteous head off. Instead, he just kind of stared at him, as if he didn't believe it. He looked at Michaela, as if asking her to yell, "Got ya!" But all she could do was shrug sadly and shake her head. He seemed to finally give up and just ran out of the backyard. Michaela swore she could hear screaming after a while.

"Oh Eric!" Annie gushed, "Don't you see this is what you're meant to do?! Look how you helped that poor man! Come back to the church full time!"

"No Annie", Eric shook his head, "That's not the life I want anymore. Don't you see? I had a heart attack!!! How many people actually experience that?" Michaela snorted at this, but he continued, "The church is my place no longer". Annie let out a sob and rushed into the house with her tears.

"Uh, Dad", the word tasted disgusting, "If you don't return to the church, how exactly will we pay for anything? And where will we live? The church owns this house".

He smiled at her, "Small issues my dear, small issues", and he walked dreamily into the house, playing his guitar. Michaela stared at the twins, and all three of them covered their mouths and screamed with all that was in them.

All for now, but more once I have enough time on the family computer...