Chapter Five: Funeral plans
Yesterday was a mistake. Both Ichabod and I realize it should never have happened, and we respect that. I am glad he has not mentioned it further today, and I shall not. I have to remember my place, I am employed by Mr. Crane and should not exploit that, although I was pleased when he asked for my companionship on our first day of meeting. I always feel more comfortable in the presence of someone who wants companionship, whether employer or acquaintance. Ichabod comes into the kitchen, where I am.
"Claire," he begins, a little formally. "I feel we must speak about yesterday's happenings." This was not what I wanted. I turn to face him. I am attracted to him, very much so, but he must know of why we can not be together. He must feel it too.
"Ichabod," I say, but he speaks.
"Claire, yesterday, something happened, some attachment passed between us, as you well know. I would just like to apologize, and clear the air, if the air between us has become too stuffy. And to ask you, if you feel it should have happened."
"Do you think it should not, Ichabod?" I ask. Say no, say no, I silently plead.
"Yes, I think it should not of happened, and I apologize for my part in it. I will take care not to let it happen again." He turns and leaves the kitchen, leaving me feeling somehow awkward. Although in my head I too, know it should not have been, but my heart tells me that the moment between us last night in the drawing room, was the best moment I have had in this house. Once all my duties had been performed, I left Ichabod to himself in the study, and retreated to my room, where I silently cried into my dress until I fell asleep.
The following morning was grey. There was no spark from Ichabod that I had hoped for the night before, that I thought time would bring, but it did not. He left early in the morning to speak to the villagers who were in the church on the fateful day of Mr. Brinner. I did not feel it was necessary for me to go, I was not to be recognized by anyone as there, because I knew, and Ichabod knew I was not. And I did not like to interfere with the work he was doing, a grand job such as his. But I did offer my services as a companion, when he returned, to talk.
"Did you discover anything, Ichabod?" I ask him.
"Yes, apart from you, there were many that disliked Mr. Brinner. He was not a friendly man, and because of his connections with the church no-one has said anything before. I myself did not get along smoothly with him, I have always believed he has had a very short temper, but he is, he was a member of the parish," he replies.
"Is it a possibility that the murderer was a member of the parish, or, in some way, connected to the church?" I ask.
"Claire, at this stage, everything is possible," he replies.
"When you said, that you would keep me safe, how did you mean it?" I ask, tentatively. He looks up at me, as if reading my eyes. He knows I want him.
"I meant that I will look after you as much as I can, because I care for my acquaintances and friends, and I will also take as much care with the other villagers as I possibly can." What did that mean? "Tomorrow is Mr. Brinner's funeral, I would like it very much if you accompanied me, if you feel able to cope with such a situation."
"I will accompany you, it's the least I can do for Mr. Brinner," I reply, not looking forward to the funeral at all, but I would pay my last respects. "Have you talked to Mr. Brinner's son?"
"Briefly, I intend to speak with him at the funeral tomorrow, if he feels able. I will ask to see his fathers will. I know from previous experience that will's are important in such cases, and can, unfortunately, stir a lot of bad memories, and reveal secrets hidden for a purpose, to save loved ones hurt," Ichabod explains. "I'll also be speaking to the mason, I believe he was the first to see the coffin, although the village soon followed him out of the church. Mr. Fawcett cannot distinguish the poison easily, he continues to try," Ichabod says, relaying the investigation to me.
With the unavoidable funeral in the morning, I have a horrible feeling that I really, really, would rather not go.