He'd been standing in her doorway for a good ten minutes before she noticed him. The corridor was brightly lit, but her lab was dark, and when she looked up, all she saw was a silhouette, and it took her a moment to recognise him.
"Daniel, hi." She said, smiling, standing up straight and kneading the small of her back. She got backache a lot quicker these days, and she welcomed the break.
"You're not wearing the ring." He said, still in the doorway. She had to think for a second about what he meant.
"I didn't think it was appropriate, not at work." She said. He nodded, and moved forward into her lab, looking round, uncharacteristically quiet.
"I've been thinking." He said. "About Janet." He came forward, into the only light cast in the lab, and leant his elbows on her desk. Sam looked down, quickly. The thought of Janet still brought tears to her eyes.
"I was in love with her. I still am, really." Daniel said, very calmly. Sam looked up, surprised. Daniel wore no glasses, and it was a shock, for just that second, to see his eyes, blue as her own, so bare, so open, the feelings written so clear in them.
"I didn't know." Sam said. He smiled, a little sadly, wistful.
"I never told her. I was going to say I never got a chance, but that's not true. I had plenty of chances, I just never had the courage."
"When...I mean, Janet never said."
"I'm not sure if she knew. And I'm not sure when I first loved her. I know when I knew, though."
"Tell me." Sam said, gently. She'd known Daniel had suffered as much as she had from Janet's death, but he had never talked to her about it. It was as if he'd shut himself off from the world where Janet was concerned. Now he was opening up, she wanted to lead him gently through it, not frighten him into clamming up again.
"You remember the lifeboat thing? All those minds in me?" She nodded. "I know you all thought I wouldn't survive in there. That's what I thought too. But I knew Janet was out there, and I held on to that. Janet was fighting for me. Janet would save me. Janet always did, except that once. All I had to do was hold on, and sooner or later, I'd see her again, and I'd know I was home safe. And I did, and she was there, and I survived. And afterwards, I thought about it, and I realised that was what you and Jack have...had."
"Daniel..." Sam started to say, but he shushed her.
"My story now, not yours, Sam. I was saying, what you and Jack have.
Knowing that the other is always there, when you wake up. No matter what you go through, you think of the other, and they get you through, and you survive. And I realised that was love. Not flowers and beauty and sex, but a connection that can't ever be broken. And I had a connection with Janet. I needed her, and I wanted her, and I liked to be with her, and I loved her."
"I'm sorry." Sam said, softly. She didn't wipe away the tears in her eyes now.
"The night before she died, I went to her lab. I was going to tell her. I'd been spending ages there, and I was falling more and more in love. We started talking about you. You and Jack, to be precise. We were saying what idiots you two were, to be so in love, and so unable to say or do anything about it. How you were both so blind you had no idea you loved each other. But then, I realised, we weren't talking about you two any more. We were talking about us. It was late, and the base was dark, and all I wanted to do was lean forward and kiss her."
"Oh, Daniel." Sam breathed.
"But I didn't. Biggest mistake of my life, and I've made a few. Suddenly all these thoughts popped into my head. What if I was wrong. What if I had misinterpreted the signals. What if our friendship was just that, and her concern for me was just doctor for patient."
"Daniel, you were more than just her patient."
"I was going to ask you." He said, ignoring her. "I saw her the next day, and she was glowing, do you remember? I hoped it was for me, and I was trying to think of the words to ask you about her without sounding like a schoolboy. That was my biggest problem, embarrassment. But then the call to come through the gate came."
"I remember. She grabbed me, in the locker room. Told me she wanted to ask me about something when we got back. She looked so happy."
"Just before we went through, I told her not to move from my side." Daniel told her. "Whatever happened, she was to stay with me. I didn't want her out of my eyesight the entire time we were out there. She told me not to be so over-protective, she wasn't going to let anything stop her doing her job, but I could be her assistant if I wanted. And I didn't move from her side, Sam. I was never more than four feet away from her. I always made sure I was between her and the firing. I tried so hard to protect her. But she died anyway. I failed. I lost her."
He was crying now, silently, the tears falling heavily on her desk.
"You didn't fail, it wasn't your fault..." Sam said, but Daniel held out his hand, put it to her lips to shush her.
"I didn't tell you this to ask for sympathy, sweetheart." He said, smiling through the tears. "I came to tell you to tell him, before it's too late. Please, I'm begging you, before it's too late. Tell Jack."
"Daniel..."
"And don't tell me I'm wrong, or that's it's impossible. Don't quote regs at me, or mention Pete. I love you both dearly, and I don't want either of you to lose the other never having told the truth. For pity's sake Sam, listen to me. It wouldn't have made Janet's death any easier, but it would have been one less regret. And regret's are what screw you up, not grief. They're always there, inside, dragging at you, sucking the life out of you."
He moved his hand, to her cheek, stroking it softly.
"You think too much, Sam. Every action is thought out and planned, and assessed for it's merit. You behave like a computer sometimes. And I know why. It's all about control. The only time I have ever seen you act by instinct alone is where Jack is concerned. Now please, please, don't wait until it's too late. Go to Jack, and forget your careful little plans, and your thought out objections, and listen only to your emotions, little sister."
"I can't." Sam said, staring into his eyes, wanting to pull back, to recover her self-control. But all she could think of was Daniel loving Janet, and never telling her, and how happy that would have made Janet, and how perhaps, Janet had loved him too, and no-one had ever said a word.
"You can." Daniel insisted. "If not for your sake, then mine, and Janet's."
"That's emotional blackmail." Sam told him.
"Damn right." He told her. "Janet would have been proud of me."