This is the story of two people who have been emotionally and mentally cut off from the world around them. They have been estranged from emotions until these eyes meet up again. What will happen? L/J R for later chapters
Disclaimer: I own no characters, places, ideas, or plots created by Miss Rowling.
No Longer Estranged Chp2
Things do not change. We change.
-Henry David Thoreau
Pain is a very distinct feeling. It clouds ones mind; makes the room spin and most importantly, causes a head ache the size of France. This of course, was the feeling swimming through Lily's lungs and head as her eyes flickered open the following morning. Raising her hand to shield her eyes from the sun, she slowly raised herself from her crumpled up position. A soft wool blanket had fallen down from her chest, she eyed it carefully.
'I don't have a blanket like this…' she thought to herself. In fact she didn't have any furniture that was furbished in black and gray. As was the love seat that she currently was situated upon. Taking a deep breath, and raising her head as slow as possible, and trying desperately not to make any sudden movements, for she was quite positive that rush of extreme pain would be experienced. She took a look around the unfamiliar room. It was a modern day flat, with muggle appliances and newfound gadget type furniture. Standing up carefully, she trudged across the room to the fireplace where on the mantle she could see frames with pictures in them.
The pictures were moving. Whoever owned this apartment was magical, which in a way was a good thing. It was good thing for the fact that they probably had floo-powder lying around somewhere, so she could just floo back home when her headache had receded. Chancing apparating didn't seem like the smartest thing to do at a time when she couldn't even see ten feet in front of her. She started looking for floo-powder to hide in the pocket of her large jacket, which had been taken off her at some point and laid on a near-by chair. If this person whoever they were, turned out to be hostile in any way, she would be able to just chuck the powder into the fireplace and dart out of there. Her plan seemed reasonably sound, except for one small detail.
Lily couldn't remember where home was. She felt the panic start to break into her sedated state as her blood came rushing to her head. Where was she? What had happened? How did she end up here…who was she? For the love of her, she couldn't remember her own name. If you had been in that room at that moment, and named any charm, event, or potion having to do with magic she would be able to spell it out for you in detail, and then go into a full-fledged demonstration. If you asked her who had starred in "Gone with the Wind" surely Vivian Leigh were the first words to be uttered out of her mouth. But if you asked her what her name was, or how long she had had a certain scar, only silence would penetrate the room.
She grabbed some floo-powder and shoved it into her jacket pocket, while the other hand searched the other pocket for any possible signs of her wand. Finally reaching the inside left pocket she found it, hidden safely away from any muggle prying eyes. She decided to put on the coat so the flat's occupant couldn't see or take away her wand from her. A clatter from the next room resonated through the flat. Her heart was beating so fast at this point that it could be heard in Timbuktu.
"Oh bloody hell." She heard a man's voice getting louder, footsteps. He was coming into the room, probably to check on her. Probably to check if his hostage was still wonderfully UN-conscience and ready for raping or chopping up are whatever this pervert wanted to do to her. Why else would he have just let her sleep though out the night, if he hadn't wanted something from her? Why didn't he just wake her and send her home to her mummy safe and sound? Why? Because he was probably some old retired priest who molested younger children, and scarred them for the rest of their life. Forever cutting them off emotionally from the rest of the world and molding their futures into hazardous waste lands of depression and insecurity. Only a true psycho could be that corrupt.
The door swung open and her perverted child molester entered the room. Her shirtless, muscular, handsome young man of a perverted child molester entered the room. Something about the way he carried himself told her that he wasn't the retired priest type. He wasn't a threat; he wouldn't hurt her…hopefully. She probably had an alarming look on her face, for the moment he caught eyes with her; he darted them from the previously occupied love seat to the fireplace, and then back to her. He sighed relief.
James had come into the sitting room to see if she had woken or not and wanted a mug of tea or coffee if she had. Or maybe even a good shot of tequila. But when he entered, the look on her face was so full of fear and panic that he thought Voldemort himself had been by for some tea and murder. Then it hit him. She didn't know where she was, she didn't know who he was, and probably wanted to get back to her normal life as soon as possible. How he envied her, to have a normal life would be a blessing. They had been standing in awkward silence for quite some time now, Lily was too petrified of what he might do to speak, so James felt the burden of starting the conversation fall on his shoulders.
"Hello…" he said softly, she had looked so tense that he thought if any loud noise was to invade the silence she would literally, jump out of her skin.
"Hello…" She replied keeping her hands in her pockets. One hand clamped around the floo powder, the other her wand.
"Would you…like to…sit down?" he hesitated not knowing how to start. Her slight movement of shaking her head no just made the situation seem more uncomfortable.
"Would you like some coffee? Or tea, I have tea…?" she shook her head no again.
He sighed getting tired of the little game "Listen I'm not going to hurt you or molest you, or whatever you might think. Just please take your jacket off and sit down…" she hesitated not wanting to be so quick to trusting this man
"Oh and you can forget about using the floo-powder, the network is down because of the attack yesterday."
She gasped a little trying to see how he could have possible known she had taken floo powder. He was in another room, as in not in the same viewing vicinity as she had been these past ten minutes. She hesitated yet again; debating whether to just keep standing and hope that apparating away wouldn't have to become an option. She chose to sit, but with her wand at the ready. James sighed in victory as he finally got her to take a seat. He shortly retreated into the next room and came back holding two cups of steaming hot coffee.
"Here, I'm sure your brain could use some waking up after that ordeal yesterday." What ordeal was he talking of?
"Ordeal?" she whispered
"Yes, you know. The attack…"it didn't register "On Diagon alley…" still nothing "the gas, the Sonamos…"
She didn't remember…how could she not remember the explosion? And voluntarily going through the gas, for some unknown ridiculous reason. The odd thing was that she didn't seem to recognize him. Surely she had recognized him back at the café, and in the actual smog for that brief period of time. He remembered how her body had gone stringent when she had laid eyes on him, how her bright green eyes never left his chocolate ones. But now her actions were quite different, her body was in a crumpled mess. As if she was protecting herself from getting eaten alive by lions, or some other genre of wild animal. Her eyes kept darting from place to place, the window, the door, the fireplace. Anywhere that could be a means of escape.
"Lily…" she started at the name
"What did you call me?" her eyes locked with his finally.
"Lily, that is your name isn't it?" her eyes seemed to pierce right through him, know his every thought, every wish, and every intimate desire that was currently falling down south.
"I suppose so…"
"You suppose so? What do you-"
"I mean I suppose that's my name because I can't bloody remember what it is! I can't remember what happened yesterday the day before or even hours ago." Lily had jumped up in frustration and pointed her wand at James, not meaning to seem threatening but coming off like a bull who saw red. "I'm so confused, I don't where I am, I certainly don't know who you are, everywhere I look all I see is a lamp or a picture with unfamiliar faces. I can't-" her voice caught in her throat as hot tears stung her vehement glaring eyes. Weakness took her body. Suddenly everything around her seemed to blur, and all she saw in front of her were her two hands. Her two, unfamiliar, front hands. She studied them for a moment, following the tears that slid down them. There was a scar on the knuckle of her left hand; its shape resembled a dragonfly, or some sort of long bug with wings. She closed her eyes feeling more tears pressured out of them, and tried to remember how it happened. She tried to picture herself as a little girl…but she couldn't…what did she look like as a little girl?
"I-I can't. I can't remember…" she looked up at James, pleading with the paltry, quiet sound of her voice. Silently begging him to return her memories, as if he had taken them. As if he had the power to return them.
Once he recovered from the shock of this spontaneous emotional outburst, James made a mental note to do some research on the gas, Sonamos. As he sat there, watching her disposition change from utter terror, to calm, to extreme exasperated anger, and finally; defeat. She was a godforsaken creature with nowhere to go. And James wanted to keep her. He just wanted to take her in his arms and never let her go. The most important thing in the world at that moment was to let her cry her pain away.
But something stopped him from wrapping her in his arms and keeping her. The fact was that, she had a life somewhere. She had friends, family, and who knows maybe even a relationship with a certain someone. He knew that keeping her here could be the worst thing to ever do to anybody, especially when this anybody didn't have any perception to who she was.
What if she stayed here for just a few days? He could easily say that she just needed time to adjust, and rest from this ordeal. But of course she'd ask questions…she'll want to know who she is and where's come from. She'll want to know who he is. What will he tell her? 'Oh I'm just the arrogant prick from school that you so ardently despised and distrusted. Oh and did I mention that I've been lying to you this whole time? I know where you live but my curiosity and stubborn emotions decided to have you hang around for a few more days. I hope you don't mind my ruining your life!' the theory didn't sound to convincing.
"Please…" her voice brought him back to the world "Please help me. You must know something-" her voice broke down again to helplessness and tears. This time James refused to let her sit there, wallowing alone in her pain.
He gently placed his hand under chin and lifted the forlorn face to his eyes. Tear streaks were covering her face, and her lip was trembling from the vitality of adrenaline running through her body.
"Your name" he whispered softly "Is Lily Evans, and I'm James. James Potter." The look of gratitude on her face filled James' heart with joy. No words of thanks could be expressed by this sudden understanding between them. All Lily knew to do was fling her arms around him and cry until she had no tears left.
It was some time later that James realized he was freezing cold, shirtless, and soaking wet with Lily's tears. Her crying had subsided a bit, but every now and then you could hear sniffling or short whimpers.
Lily liked this feeling. Being in this man-James. His name was James. She liked being in James'' arms and running her fingers down his bare chest. Then it hit her, she had just been crying on a man she didn't know, didn't trust and with no shirt on none-the-less! James was quite startled when she jumped back from him with an alarmed look on her face again. It was the look that told you to stay away or enter at your own risk, and being that she still held her wand in one of her hands, James felt that any sudden movements would set her off.
So he got up slowly and crossed to the store closet, where he kept some extra sweatshirts and jackets. He pulled on an old Quiditch shirt that was labeled 'The Chaser' over his right breast in small golden letters, against a brick red background. These were the colors of his house back at Hogwarts. They were also Lily's house colors, for she had been in Gryffindor along with James. Did she remember that?
Lily sat back down on the love seat she had awoken upon, and pulled the wool blanket around her for comfort. So many questions were coursing through her head at the moment. Who really was this man? He knew who she was, but did he know anything else about her, about her past? How did she get in this flat? She felt obligated to commence this conversation first as he had began the last one.
"Thank you." She looked up at James gratefully, but cautiously "I appreciated that more than you know."
"No need for a thank you. I can only imagine what must be going through your head right about now." He sat down on a large black armchair across from her so that he could get a good look at the expressions on her face.
She tried to give him a small smile of thanks, but all she was able to achieve was an odd cross between a lopsided grin and a fish face.
"Well, mostly just questions." James' countenance became rigid at this little hint. He didn't urge it on even though he knew there was no stopping her from asking the questions. What would he say?
"Such as…" she found it odd he hadn't replied, so she continued "As who am I?"
"I told you that one already. Your Lily Evans." He said matter-of–factly trying to discern any real answer from the next
"Yes I comprehended that quite well. But my question was directed more along the lines of who was I? What were my achievements, my interests, and my friends? Where's my family? How did I get here? And what ordeal were you speaking of not half a moment ago. And-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa half a moment. Please, I can't answer a million questions at once. I'm not that amazing…" Lily was taken aback by the arrogance in the comment. But then again maybe he was just joking, and trying to liven up the conversation.
"Sorry…I'm just a touch high strung at the moment."
"Well memory loss will do that to you…" she gave him a look that would have cooled off a moose at mating season
"If you don't mind I would greatly appreciate it if you could cut back on the sarcastic responses."
James opened his mouth to probably let out another asinine comment, but Lily didn't have the strength or will power to hold back her temper again if it came to that.
"Who am I?" she interrupted him "As in, what are my interests? Who are my parents? Where do I live? H-" she'd gone over this question in her head and realized how horribly worthless it sounded. But one usually would like to know how old one is. "How old am I?" her voice was down to whisper once more, and James softened his countenance
"Your 23 years old. I'm not positive when your birthday is, but I'm pretty confident it's some time in May." Just seeing her sit there, drowning in her own self-pity was paltry enough. But to have her regard of him be ruined by some smart-ass comments he just needed to get across, it wasn't worth it. So he decided to help her out…a little.
"We…went to school together, it's how you know me. We weren't close friends more like just acquaintances." He tried to stay off the subject that she thought he was a prat back in Hogwarts.
"Oh…then how did I get here, if we're only acquaintances?" Lily tried to hide the disappointment in her voice at the new discovery; something at the back of her heart wanted to know James more than herself.
"W-well, I was-you see you and I ere suppose to-." He couldn't bring himself to say it. He dreaded this moment, for after it everything would either be the truth and letting her go back into the world, to her friends, to her life. But she didn't belong there; she belonged here…with him. Yet, if he told her that she was suppose to come here, or some other far-fetched fallacy…that's exactly what it would be. A lie. And someone is bound to come looking for her eventually, they couldn't stay in Dublin forever. James had a job to go back to, and most probably so did Lily.
James stood up and walked slowly over to Lily, not wanting to alarm her in anyway. His hand found it's way to hers as he sat down with a set look on his face.
"You've been having some trouble back at home Lily, with your friends. And we ran into eachother about a week ago, and we got to talking. About school, and what we were doing now, and after a few drinks you started to tell me about how you felt you needed more than what you had. That you felt estranged from the world, from your friends. Every joke seemed distant, every…memory. Nothing is the same as it was when we were carefree and back Hogwarts." James caught himself treading over dangerous waters. Not only was he completely lying to her, but also he was expressing his thoughts and feelings instead of imagining her own. "Anyway, I offered for you to stay with me for awhile, and you said yes."
" Did I really say all those things? About feeling caught off from the world?" she couldn't believe that her life was at such a stand-still, that none of her friends understood her way of thinking and what she looked for in her existence on this earth. Why did everything just have to crumble?
"You said them through just a look, you wore your emotions out on your sleeve and I took you in." James whispered
"Well, something doesn't make sense. What about my parents? Why wouldn't I just go there instead of to someone's home that I hardly know? And if I were to stay here for what I presume would be discernible amount of time, where are my clothes? My belongings…don't I have any?"
An unfamiliar feeling in his stomach shot through James' veins and started to wind in and out of his mind and through his rapidly beating heart. His free hand traced a smooth, gentle line from her burning eyes to her soft lips, and settled itself on the nape of her neck.
"Lily, this is going to be hard for you to hear but-"
"Their dead. My parents are dead aren't they?" James nodded solemnly "Was it Voldemort?"
"Wait, you can't remember your name but you remember Voldemort?"
She nodded taking his hand from her neck regrettably and squeezing it in reassurance. "I remember select things. Like all the professors at Hogwarts. I remember the number of NEWT's I received and every potion and charm work I ever learned. But…"
"But not how old you were…do you want to take a little brake?" James suggested not wanting to lie to her anymore than he had to. "I mean we've been discussing this for a while now and you seem pretty tired."
She smiled "A shower would be nice right about now actually…but…where are my clothes?"
He sighed realizing he'd have to lie to her a bit more to keep her with him and in a trusting state of mind, no matter how cliché that was.
"We were suppose to meet yesterday, but there was an attack on the place we were to meet. I found you there, without any parcels and I brought you here, to my flat in Dublin. For now I can give you a pair of sweats to wear and a T-shirt, but sooner or later we're going to have to go into the city and buy you some clothes."
"But I don't have any money…"
"Don't be daft of course I'm going to pay for your clothes. What did you think I'd do, have you begging on the street for money? She gave him a pathetic laugh to show that she had some emotion other than anger and misery.
"Thank you." they stood up still holding each other's hands tightly, not wanting the moment to pass. Her eyes were locked with his as the now familiar feeling of desire channeled throughout her body. Tickling her mind and senses, sending chills down her spine. Desperately trying to regain composure she closed her eyes tightly and pulled away from James stubbornly. She felt him shift uncomfortably within the presence of her newfound determination.
James pulled himself from the imaginary world where a relationship between them was possible. He walked off the the store closet and pulled out a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and a T-shirt and sent her off to the shower in hurry before his mania for her became too strong to with hold.
He was a horrible person for doing this to a sweet innocent girl. She had done nothing to him, gave him no reason to toy, and play with her life but he did it anyway. And all for a reason and inclination he couldn't explain. That feeling that traveled through his system and called him to her side. He racked his brain and tried to remember what the feeling of her in his bare arms felt like. And the feeling of his flesh on her smooth, flawless skin.
Whether lying to her had been the right choice to make was still a question of doubt in his mind. All he knew was there was a beautiful, mysterious girl, naked and wet not twenty feet away from him, who had put her complete trust and emotional status in his hands…and had been deceived.
A/N: Hello again. I must say…WOW to the response I got for this story, I honestly didn't think it was that big of a deal. More like a whim I got from a few experiences in my short lifetime. I can't promise that I'll be updating often, because I really want to concentrate on this story, and put everything into it. I just want to say thank you to a few people before I go so… R&R please. I really appreciate everybody's support. I really hope you like this certain turn of events.
Shabs: I'm glad you like the way I write, my English professors certainly think it isn't adequate. I hope you keep reading and like the way the story had turned. Thanks.
TABS08: ::grins:: that one word means a lot. Thanks for it!
Mermermer: Thank you for thinking it's great. I really hope you liked this chapter as much as the last one.
Chikadee Potter: I have to admit, I'm an older guy kind of gal myself. Thanks for putting my on your favorites list, I'll definitely keep updating…keep your eyes open.
Alya: Thank you, I hope you keep reading the story, it means a lot to me!
kat6528: Thanks. I really hope you liked how this chapter turned out!
Me: Thank you and I'll try to update as often as possible
sirius' lover: that thought never crossed my mind. Lily doesn't hate james, but she does have an underlying attraction for him that certainly is requited! Their relationship has many stages to go through before anyone says the "L" word. I've read in many fics where Lily and James fall in love within two chapters of meeting for each other, I couldn't think of that happening in any situation in life. Thank you for your reviews and opinions!
Sweet Venezulan Princess: I'll try to update as often as possible and I really appreciate how much you like it. Thanks for all your reviews.
Thanks again everybody. Keep reading…I hoped you all liked it!
Disclaimer: I own no characters, places, ideas, or plots created by Miss Rowling.