This is the story of two people who have been emotionally and mentally cut off from the world around them. They have been estranged from emotions until these eyes meet up again. What will happen? L/J R for later chapters
Disclaimer: I own no characters, places, ideas, or plots created by Miss Rowling.
No longer estranged chp3
"The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency."
-Crisp, Quentin
As soon as she shut the door to the bathroom behind her, all of her emotions and pain came falling out in the strangled gasps for breath. Her knees buckled and she fell onto the floor in a heap, bawling against the clothes James had provided for her. Just holding the garments of this man made her body cringe with exhilaration and nervousness. Those last few moments of just holding his hands and looking into his intense brown eyes were so oddly arousing that another question had popped into her mind, a question that could only be answered in one way.
Was she a virgin? If she was then the question was completely irrelevant, and all she needed to do was assume her former way of thinking on the matter. Whatever that was. But if she wasn't…that could bring a whole new incursion of problems. It could mean she might have a relationship back home…wherever that was. And what if James had with held some information from her, to protect her from something that could make this experience ten times worse. Such as an abusive boyfriend. Or, what if she had never told him of the hypothetical abusive boyfriend, to make her situation a little easier than it was.
After a few moments of crying and debating with herself on the incredulous matter, she decided that all ailments would be healed with a nice hot shower. As was her plan before her will and strength deserted her.
Slowly and carefully she got to her feet not wanting any bouts of dizziness to throttle her mind into helplessness again. If her theory of an abusive boyfriend were true then hints of bruising or pain anywhere other than the effects of the Sonamos would be evidence enough to prove it. She gingerly lifted the soft green sweater over her head for fear of what she might see underneath. But thankfully all she could see were birthmarks and one scar over her right side, which seemed to be quite old.
Her body seemed so unfamiliar; every curve and smooth creamy edge was a morose reminder that she was once a happy person with memories and friends. Or, according to James a supposedly happy person, with a shitty past. After a few moments of trying to accommodate herself with her body again, the warm gentle feel of water falling from the shower onto her aching back beckoned her to turn on the faucets, and de-tangle herself from the mess of thoughts that had been introduced to her all in one morning.
James watched her retreat slowly into the bathroom, clutching his clothes for dear life. If only he could hold her like had a few moments ago. He just needed to touch her again…just once more and he would be content. No…he wouldn't be content with just one more touch. He needed a lifetime of touches, a lifetime of feelings like the one he had when she was in his arms. He laid his head slowly against the bathroom door, and resigned to the fact that there would be no more touching anytime soon…as he heard the shower water turn on.
'She must be hungry' he thought to himself, as his own stomach protested to its empty uncomfortable state. So he turned around and walked back to the kitchen, wondering about the mess he'd gotten himself into. A pile of unfinished vegetables and a can of chicken broth were sitting on the counter. James muttered a freshening charm and started up chopping them again
A loud crack could be heard coming from the sitting room. James looked up from his chopping vegetables and watched as his best friend through the years came strolling into the kitchen, as he usually did this everyday.
Sirius Black was a tall, muscular, and handsome medium auror at the ministry of magic, just a step below James. Sirius had taken half a year off to sort out some problems he had with his family, right after his brother, Regulas, had died. Or else he would have been at the top of the aurors in training. Sirius and his family had never gotten along, their opinions and expectations in life had been somewhat different, so he escaped from his family and became part of James'. Sirius had always known his younger brother was power hungry and stupid enough to do anything for it. But he never thought that his hunger for power would lead to his death. At the very hands of his leader, Voldemort. Sirius' let his bum gravitate down towards his usual chair in James' Dublin flat, took a deep breath, and commenced his daily ramble.
"You are so bloody lucky you weren't called for this job, mate. Bodies everywhere, wizards paralyzed to no extent. That bastard is building to something, everyone feel it. Even the muggles have started to understand the attacks; some have even accepted it! And do you know what? Our own damn ministry won't even admit this to be a maximum danger standpoint. 'It's just a phase so says our genius Minister…he's a blundering fool if you ask me! Just a dunderhead in denial that this had to happen during his run of office."
Sirius took this pause to look over at James, who was contentedly chopping vegetables, and hadn't commented on even one of his rants. Normally James was knee deep in debate about the topics Sirius brought to him. Today, he wasn't even dressed for work…as if he hadn't planned on going in at all…
"Prongs, mate." Sirius started nonchalantly, and rising from his accustomed spot in the kitchen "you weren't called in for that job yesterday…right?"
James looked up at Sirius' apprehensive face and nodded regrettably. The moment he saw the stunned look on his friend's face, chopping vegetables and throwing them into the now boiling chicken broth seemed like a positively lovely thing to do.
"Have you unhinged completely, James?" Sirius bellowed, waving his hands around to emphasize his point "Your probably now going to lose your job, and in result of me knowing you were here lounging about doing nothing I'll be put on suspension!" In his vexation he had started to pace the kitchen rather furiously
"Padfoot, calm down."
"Don't you padfoot calm down me. It was an attack James. A real fallacious one, and here you are standing in your vacation house CHOPPING VEGETABLES!" His chest was heaving up and down with the anger that was now swimming his blood stream and making a headline for his brain.
"Sirius, calm down your going to give yourself boils at 23!" James filled a glass with water and handed it to Sirius, guiding him back to his original, non-lethal position of sitting. James had known Sirius for most of his lifetime. True his tantrums were intense, but they were sporadic enough that James could deal with them adequately. What he had done was wrong, not going into work…but that problem could easily be fixed. His current position however was a much tighter spot to get out of.
" Listen, I need your help with something…" sirius looked up from his glass of water, the redness slowly ebbing away from his face. James continued "I…did a really moronic thing…
"James if you've gotten some tart pregnant-"
"Will you please just save your thickheaded comments for later." Siris gave a smirking nod of consent that was adequate enough for James to continue "Do you remember a girl from Hogwarts. A girl about two years below us…named Lily Evans?"
Sirius looked up at James as if he was crazy. He nodded again to motion his answer. Of course he remembered the prissy little know-it-all bitch who had given James the worst verbal beating he had ever received. She was too smart for her own good, according to the Marauders' pranking laws. Whenever they had pulled a prank, even the most disenchanted prank ever, she would still somehow pinpoint their exact location and send them to the professors. Or rather, much to her liking take them herself. Luckily this only happened once in a blue moon, for she liked to stay out of there way, and they preferred to stay as far away from the rule-abiding child as possible
"Well, I saw her at Diagon Alley yesterday, during the attack. And as all the cowardly wizards and witched ran away for their lives I watched as she imprudently stepped into the Sonamos, which is what I assumed it was, and start searching for dead bodies or something or other. So me, being the hero that I am, went in after her. By the time I got to her her breath had been cut short and she inhaled just enough Sonamos to faint…"
Sirius shrugged wondering where this story was going "So? Lot's of people fainted, at least she isn't paralyzed from the waist down-"
"Sirius…she's lost her memory. I took her back here to sleep it off, but when she woke up this morning, I found her standing in a corner with floo powder stuffed into her pocket and her wand at the ready. She has no clue who I am, or even who she is!"
"James do you know what this means?" sirius stood up and dragged James away from his chopped vegetables
"Sirius, don't you dare think it! We are not playing a prank on a girl who has just lost everything she ever had. C'mon Padfoot imagine not having any memories…besides that would be taking advantage of her…"
"Fine" Sirius sat back down with a disgruntled look on his face, this had put him quite out. The look of disconcertion that would have formed on her face would have been too perfect; payback's a bitch. And all those times she had sent them, head hung, and detention doomed, was in need of frantic pay back.
"So she lost her memory? That's odd, back at the ministry emergency ward there were no recorded cases of memory loss…or even obliviate charms being used…Sirius stood up, once again continued his path of pacing. His mind was racing, sorting through what he thought, non-essential bits of information that it had collected through his short life. St. Mungos had sent 'accident' reports back to the ministry concerning all the cases that were results of the attack. They, like James, had turned their knowledge of magical gas and smokes and deduced the mysterious matter to be Sonamos. But not one case had resulted in memory loss.
"OK so you basically saved her from paralyzation or death…brought her back here to rest, and she woke up without her memory. I still don't see how you've done something moronic?"
"Well, before you see her and start using your 'quick wit', reminiscing on how we tortured eachother…there's something else you should know…" James fumbled throwing the fully chopped vegetables into the steaming broth, as a devilish grin was formed on Sirius' face.
"What, did Ms. Evans lose a few more things than her memory?" Sirius snickered
James frowned at his friends never changing crude humor. He felt a sort of protectiveness over Lily… she was helpless and it was mostly James; fault. It was his responsibility to see that she adjusted to her "knew life".
"No…and you know it! That stupid, idiotic, moronic part…was…well…I seemed to have left out a few key details in explaining how she wound up here…and of course the fact that I lied to her by making up a whole bollucks assumption that she was having trouble at home and I offered to have her stay here for as long as she needed. Oh and of course I left out the part that we positively hated each other in Hogwarts! Also that I have no idea where her family is and who her friends are…" James dished out the soup into three bowls, seeing as Sirius didn't plan on going anywhere.
"You what? OK, now you're really not making sense. You lied to a girl we haven't seen in years, not to mention who we despised, that you know eachother and are friends, and that her truly finding out who she is absolutely not an option…" Sirius contemplated the insanity this is James Potter, when one simple word sprung into his mind "Why?"
James sat across from his friend…for once not having an answer for him. Yes of course this question had also entered his mind many times. Why? Why had James put this girls happiness aside…was it for his own? Was it for that feeling the arose from the pit of his stomach seeping through his pours, and finally numbing his mind and sight to everything around him…except her. Except those emerald green windows, except that conflagrant red hair, the smooth creamy skin that whenever in 5 feet of James' hands, he felt them gravitating towards it. He was afraid that the next time he'd see her, his eyes with travel lower than her eyes…and towards her lips. Sirius apparently had been watching James thoughts trace from the question to his certain unknown desires.
"I think I know why…" Sirius casually took a sip of the soup
"Hmm…why?" James followed suit
"I think that Prongsy has an ickle crush on our memory-ridden Lilykins." He taunted going into his often-used baby voice
"I do not! That's…ugh…never brought to mind!" James scrunched up his face in disgust "OK so will you help me? Will you go along with this, as I see your not going anywhere…"
"Well what were the two love birds planning on doing today?" James whacked him over the head playfully
"I was going to take her into town to get some clothes…as she has none…"
"She has none? Honestly James I thought you'd actually-"
"Don't even think it Sirius!" James was about to go into a whole lecture on how immature and disgusting Sirius was when the sound of the swinging door that led to the kitchen was opened.
"James? Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt" Lily had thought she was walking in on something important, so she turned around and prepared to walk back into the sitting room. James quickly jumped up and flung himself around the table, just in time to catch her tiny wrist before it disappeared into the next room.
"No! Wait Lily, you didn't interrupt. Actually we were just discussing your…erm…"
"Please don't say problem…" As he stared deeply into her eyes, James wondered how he ever had the strength to lie to the beautiful creature standing in front of him…wearing his clothes…only…
"I never meant to." He whispered softly. James could feel his eyes wandering down towards the area of her pink, rouge lips. He knew once they were set there the only other things that would ever come into contact with them were food and his own lips. Desperately trying to find a distraction, he remembered that Sirius was in the room. If the circumstances hadn't been so awkward James would have most definitely burst out laughing on the shocked look of Sirius' face. His mouth was hanging open…and his eyes had it be as wide as his mouth was…he was gaping at how much Lily had changed. From the skinny little bug-eyes nerd to the beautifully formed young women standing before him.
"This barbaric dolt sitting to my right, is my best friend. Sirius Black." James watched as Lily turned her eyes slowly from James' to Sirius'. She squinted at him, wracking her brain, forcing herself to remember something about this handsome face, who right now looked rather silly. James caught onto her trail of thought.
"Remember anything?" he asked gently
She shook her head sadly, but putting on the first full smile since she'd been there. Granted, it hadn't reached her eyes…but for now any sign of trying was a perfect effort.
"Do you want something to eat?" she nodded as James pulled out a chair for her to sit in. he purposely sat her as far away from Sirius as possible. He didn't need Sirius to make situations worse by having him hit on her.
"I chopped up vegetables and made some soup." James stated proudly. He set down her bowl and placed a warming charm on it.
"I thought I smelled something good…I have a feeling that I like vegetables." She brought the spoonful to her mouth and grinned as the hot liquid warmed her body. "I was right…"
James grinned. He was happy she was easing into his company. Who knew how long this charade would go on for?
"So…Lily…how've you been these past few years?" Sirius regretted the question the moment it came out of his mouth, earning a reproving glare from James. "Sorry I didn't mean-"
"Sirius? Is that your name?" he nodded apologetically "If you say something that involves my memory loss, which yes is a touchy subject at the moment, please at least attempt not looking like your going to get your head cut off!"
James snorted into his soup; amazed at the amount of wit the girl still had left in her.
"Sorry…" Sirius muttered sheepishly
"You have nothing to be sorry for. Now…James. There is a pressing matter at hand that we must discuss, and although your sweats are indeed very large and comfortable I can't go walking into a wizarding community wearing them-"
"Clothes, I know. We're in a large city and I have plenty of muggle money in a local bank."
Something clicked inside Lily's head. As if one of the small doors that were locked yesterday had been let open.
"Muggle…I'm muggle born…" James and Sirius' head popped up and looked quickly at each other before glancing back at her.
"What did you say?" Sirius asked
"I'm muggle born…right?" James nodded yes this was an insignificant piece of information for her to piece together where she lives…as she no longer lives with muggles. But it was only the first day without her memory, what if the rate of her remembering things quickened…what if the recollections became bigger…more important…
"That's great!" Siriua covered. James was too shocked to remember to congratulate her on the regaining of memories. It was the only natural thing to do. "You've remembered something!"
"Not like it matters…" Lily muttered pushing the bowl away, suddenly not hungry anymore
"Well, as much as I'd love to stay and party till the sun goes down…I, unlike other people I know, have work to do. I'll check in a gain tomorrow Prongs, all right?" James nodded giving Sirius a grateful handshake.
Sirius briefly glanced towards Lily wanting to remember her in this sweet way before she turned back into the snobbish little girl she had been all those years ago. Who knows…the effects of the gas could be temporary. With one more nod to the two of them he dissaparated leaving Lily and James alone…with eachother…again.
"So…" Lily started pathetically, wanting to end the awkwardness between them
"So…" James replied lamely
"Where did you say we were again?"
"Dublin…it's a city in Ireland-"
"I know…" more awkward silence. James couldn't stand this anymore. Just seeing her sit there next to him, stiff as a board, and nervous as a kitten on it's first day in the wilderness. He surprised himself as his hand reached over and gave hers a reassuring squeeze. She was also surprised at this daring move, her feelings were so mixed up, so confused, that she would never had made that first move. But as his skin grazed hers all second thoughts were banished from her mind, a hot passion rose through her body. Lust, in it's purest form was hard to contain, but what Lily was feeling at that moment was beyond lust…it was want…it was necessity. She needed him in the worst way. Images of their bodies molding together on top of layers of silky bed sheets stung her mind…seeming almost familiar…
James mind and body at the moment was being subjected to the same tumultuous torture. His hand started to trace it's way up her arm, and paused for a moment at the nape of her neck, stroking her smooth skin gently. Taking in the sensual feeling of their skin melting together with just one touch, he moved his arm up away from her neck and past her lips to her now closed eyes.
Her heart was racing with the slow lustful movements of his hands. If they could do this to her just on the surface of her skin…what would they do underneath everything? Her chest was now rising in falling with the silent gasps of breaths she was begging for. Her lungs were constricted, if she had wanted to talk she wouldn't have been able to, for her vocal chords wouldn't open even if her life depended on it. She closed her eyed letting now both his hands run over her calmative eyelids. His large rough hands were gentle yet care-worn at the same time, sending chills down her spine in such a rush of ecstasy…it was life altering…simple touches.
His hands only had one place left on her face to explore, and even though he felt if they even just brushed against them he would lose the ounce of control he had left in his body, they ventured down to her lips. They were surprisingly full, and smooth. Not cracked from going a night and a half a morning without much liquid on them. He felt her mouth form a kissing motion, as his forefingers were the only ones left on the lush lips.
Her eyes opened finally meeting his and all his self-control was lost in the emotion and want that reflected his own. He grabbed her around the waist in one swift movement and pushed his lips against hers. Her arms were flung instantly to the back of his neck, tousling the already messy head of hair. She pushed her chair away and granted him permission to pull her onto his lap. The odd chair he sat on allowed her to straddle his legs and gave her easy access to more intimate positions. Their passion and forgotten morals ruled their bodies. Only aphrodisia passed through the thresh hold of her body and his.
A/N: oh dear oh dear….what shall happen next? Shall self-control be regained? Shall these two dimwits come to their senses and realize that they've only been staying with each other for less than a day really? Well you'll just have to read the next chapter and find out! Again I'm sorry to those of you who like people eho update every day or every other day where as I shall update once a week and the chapters not even that long. Again, I'm gonna say I just want to write this at my own speed. So far I think everything is going ok…what do you think? OK before I go I would like to say thanks to a few people!
kat6528: thanks for the review. And James lying will obviously be slowly coming out. It mostly comes out in this chapter as you've already seen…::grin:: thanks again!
ShorTi: thanks for your review it means a lot to me!
littlx1:thank you very much. My english professors don't feel anything I do is well written. So that means a lot!
Disclaimer: I own no characters, places, ideas, or plots created by Miss Rowling.