To Just Give In

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonlance.

A/N: Wow I'm sorry this took so long to update, I can't believe how busy I've been. I promise I'll try to not let that happen again. Anyhow thanks for waiting. Sorry for the cliffhanger, I wasn't aware it was that bad! Hopefully you like this chapter, its pretty long and hopefully worth the wait. Now to the reviews:

Guan: Thank you once again for reviewing. Sorry if you were upset that I said I don't like Elistan. I just never saw the point of him when I read DL, but I like writing about him ironically.

Ahn-Li Steffraini: Yeah I realized I had a little bit of unresolved business with Kit. I thought it would be rather boring to have the Solamnic knight actually kill her. Glad you liked the chapter. Thanks so much for reviewing.

Calli-Kurama: Thankiez! I really didn't even think that was a cliff hanger. Then again I did finish writng that chapter at like one in the morning. Hehe here's the next episode of To Just Give In...(I thought that was hilarious!)

JenniferJ: Sorry about all the cliffhangers, I just try to keep people interested. I think it will have a happy ending. Not what you might expect though. Thanks for reviewing.

ChildlikeEmpress: I liked the line about Aidan looking like Caramon when he made the face too. I actually try to write things that make me laugh. It makes writng it much more fun. Thank you very much for reviewing!

Chapter 15: Illusions

Crysania woke up fuzzy headed in the cold stone cell she was being kept in. She last thing she remembered was approaching the lone lady and being attacked, before she passed out she saw that she had short, dark, curly hair and a rather frighteningly charming crooked smile. The way she looked seemed familiar to how she had heard someone described before. It wasn't until she looked outside the barred window of her cell to see the eerie surroundings of Nightlund that she realized who it was; Kitaira, the blue dragon lord, the fabled Dark Lady of the War of the Lance, and Raistlin's half sister. Sitting on the cold, damp stone floor she wondered what Kitaira could want with her. Standing up she called out for someone. She was starving and maybe she could at least find out why she had been kidnapped. Tears began to well up in her eyes she only hoped Aidan was okay. She knew Raistlin could handle himself, and she imagined he would defend their son at all costs but in the back of her mind she still could hear the shrill chilling laughter coming from his sadistically smile mouth. "Hello..." she called out. She heard slow deliberate steps coming towards her and from the shadows emerged Kitaira. Upon seeing her Crysania gasped.

Kitaira had once been the perfect example of strength, power, and attractiveness. Now she stood stooped needing the support of the wall. Her stomach, which had been perfectly sculpted now, seemed to sag, not because of fat, for Kitaira had none of that, but because her abdominal muscles had been sliced from the Solamnics sword at the battle at Panathalas. Her hair glistened raven black; the curls bouncy and flirtatious had been a strong contrast to her masculine demeanor. Now her hair was dull and dirty, the curls hung limply matted down with sweat and dirt. Her skin that was once sun bronzed with a healthy charismatic glow now was sickly yellowish and pale from being indoors trying to recover. But as she approached Crysania one part of the legend she could see still held true. Upon Kitaira gaunt, pale face she wore a charming and fierce crooked smile that seemed to welcome a challenge. "Hello Revered Daughter. I hope you've slept well." Kit said sarcastically.

"Where is my son?" Crysania demanded angrily.

"Your son..." Kit said confused. "So that's why Raistlin kept you around..." she said laughing. "You should have heard how he planned to use you...well apparently he found another way, huh?" Kit kept laughing at her. Crysania began to frown. "Ha! Don't look so sad honey. I had a brat too once. One of Tanis' dumb friends, a knight who was all stuck up on his "honor". Well that didn't work out how I planned but you get over it, my kid is goddess knows where now and I could care less." She smiled her crooked grin. "Yeah I even got to get revenge on that idiot at the High Clerist Tower."

"Sturm Brightblade?" Crysania said incredulously. "I highly doubt that. I've heard rumors about you virtue. I'm sure there were at least twenty men who could've been the father." As she finished Kit drew her sword and pointed it at her throat through the bars.

"What did Tanis tell you about me or something?" she said menacingly. "I'd watch your mouth "Revered" Daughter because your god can't help you here." Turning her back Kit started to walk away slowly.

"Wait! Please I'm so hungry." Crysania cried.

"Well maybe next time you'll watch your tongue. Won't you?" Kit said shakily laughing slightly.

"No...please...Don't leave me here..." she cried out. But Kitaira was already nearly gone. Feeling lonely and doomed she held tightly to her medallion of Paladine and prayed for salvation.

"Fools..." Raistlin muttered as he sat in the inn where he stopped to sleep his first night of the journey. He could have used his magic to transport himself there but didn't want to leave himself tired and vulnerable to Lord Soth. This would truly be a great battle. Raistlin thought with a smile. The death knight was very powerful in magic. He could kill with one word, it would be a challenge to defeat him, or at least overcome him enough to get past him, but it would be a challenge Raistlin welcomed. Now he had to deal with this...it was like going back to the days during the War of the Lance. Next to him a table was overturned nearly slamming into his. A young Solamnic knight fiery with "honor" was about to fight a man who had cursed using Paladine's name. His table was shadowed so that none but the inn's owner had noticed him. Which was better, all he needed was distrusting glares being thrown at him. He walked to the inn's owner holding his cup of tea and softly asked for a room.

"You aren't stayin' long are ya'?" the old man asked nervously.

"No only for one night," Raistlin replied coolly.

"Yer' not him are ya'?" the man asked suddenly seeing Raistlin's shimmering golden skin.

"No," Raistlin said with a slight smile. "Look at my eyes, they are not the same as his." The man did look at Raistlin's eyes and visibly calmed.

"Sorry magus I just saw the skin and hair and assumed." The man said still a bit distrusting. "Let me show you to your room."

"No it is fine, a common mistake." Raistlin said making his way toward his room upstairs.

"Check out is at noon." The man said still staring at him.

"Thank you." Raistlin said sarcastically shutting the door in the man's face. "Stupid mortals." Raistlin said as he readied for bed. "I should have froze his eyes open like that for staring at me that way." Raistlin said bitterly. No matter how he changed in his life he would always remember the kids taunting him and now even as an adult he could still feel the pain from those memories. He looked out the window and saw Lunitari shining brightly in the sky over shadowing Solinari and Nuitari in her majesty. Far on the horizon he saw the dark shadow of a once marvelous palace now a place of evil and ghosts. "You are my guide Lunitari. Grant me strength to arrive swiftly." Then he looked at his moon, the black moon of Nuitari, "And you my dear friend, grant me the power I seek." And as he continued to stare he did indeed find himself feeling stronger and more powerful. Last he stared at Solinari, "Please...Watch over her tonight." He said softly. As he turned the previously soft red light seemed overcome with brilliant silver that shone holding peace and reassurance. As Raistlin lay in bed he thought of her and became rather afraid. What had Kitaira done to her he wondered? He also thought of his son, spending his first day apart from his parents while he was just over a few months old. Closing his eyes Raistlin tried to forget about all these troubles and go to sleep.

Crysania could not sleep. She lay in the cell, which with the red light of Lunitari appeared to be bathed in blood. She missed her son horribly; she couldn't seem to stop crying. She thought eventually she would just run out of tears, but it didn't seem like it was going to happen anytime soon. She missed Raistlin as well, she was supposed to marry him she thought and a small bitter smile came through her tears. Just her luck, her wishes finally come true and now she was going to die. Hopelessness attacked her furiously and she felt that she should just give up. Just as these thoughts crossed her mind she saw the red light begin to fade being replaced by silver gentle light from Solinari. She smiled it was a sign she would be ok. Into the silent night air she whispered, "Thank you,"

Dalamar was completely frustrated. The moment his Shalafi left the child had began to cry and it seemed he only stopped long enough to eat and mess himself. Dalamar vowed at this very moment that he would never be a father. He blew out the candle that was the light to the room and was about to leave when he heard Aidan's crying soften then he heard him begin to talk, at first he assumed it was the usually baby gibberish he said but then he stopped and nearly fainted.

"Sheewak" Aidan said his little voice filled with frustration. "Shee...rak"

"Incredible..." Dalamar whispered awe struck. Taking another step closer to Aidan he smiled. "I think Raistlin underestimated you, small one. Yes...I can see you understand don't you?" Dalamar smiled looking at Aidan's determined little face. "Lumose," Dalamar whispered causing a bright ball of light to appear on his hand. Aidan smiled clapping his tiny hands together. "From what I understand you are just over three months...yet you can speak. This is quite amazing... You even comprehended that a spell created light for your father." He said all of this to Aidan who had begun sucking on his thumb and staring curiously at Dalamar. Reaching his small arms out he grabbed the point of Dalamar's ear and laughed. Shaking his head still stunned Dalamar walked out of the room lighting shutting the door behind him. Looking out the window little Aidan saw silver light shine gently through the window, the peaceful calming of Solinari's light and the gentle lullaby of the wind lulled him to sleep.

The next day for Raistlin held challenging travel. His cough had been very strong and he feared he would lack the physical energy to complete this journey let alone defeat Lord Soth. He rode on hard though, his horse seemed as tired and weak as he was though and they were forced to stop for a break. He desperately needed his tea and his horse needed water and feed. He stopped at a tavern, a rather wretched decaying sort of place. Somewhere most travelers would ride by swiftly avoiding the potential of being robbed. But at this moment it didn't seem he had much of a choice. Upon entering he immediately smelled the scent of death. He gagged covering his mouth with his cloak. Looking into the shadowed corners of the bar he could see a small child in tattered rags, her blonde hair dingy and lank. Her cheeks were hollows, under her eyes were heavy shadows, those eyes held pain and suffering well beyond their years. Raistlin's stomach tightened. Those eyes were so familiar. How long had he looked into the mirror and saw those eyes? Pain, suffering, and turmoil unseen by the rest of the world, she was one of the forgotten ones. Left to live in the dismal world of evils ignored by those who could help. The smell of death was strong in this place, and it seemed he had chosen his next target in this girl. Raistlin's eyes held a look of determination they had not carried since the Test. This one would not be forgotten he vowed. He would not stand to watch these children forgotten any longer. He felt Lunitari's presence very close to him suddenly.

"You are coming close to understanding Raistlin. If you can save her, she will be your first Disciple. She will not remain forgotten."

Looking at the frail girl in her tattered rags, she looked like a shadow of a person. Raistlin whispered softly "I am glad." Walking towards the corner he gently tapped her shoulder. She stared at him for a long moment then smiling slightly, the same sly smile he had always worn she said, "I was beginning to think she lied to me." She said softly.

"Of course she didn't lie. She is not like that." He said smiling at the small, frail child. She coughed blood sputtering from her mouth. Raistlin's smile faded quickly to a frown, so she was already in the far stages of the disease that takes so many lives in these places. Unafraid himself, he picked her up gently and carried her near weightless body from the filthy tavern. He set her down on a soft patch of grass near where he was keeping his horse. He gathered his concentration completely blocking out all sounds. He reached through his memory for a spell of healing but his memory failed him. Again he sought out the spell but again he was denied. All he found were spells he could use for his own gain. Things he had learned and remembered to help him achieve his ambitions. Softly he cursed himself for his own selfishness. "Didn't I ever think there might be a moment where I would need this?" He whispered. The best he could manage was a spell that would slow the illness down. Giving her perhaps another few days. He grimaced seeing her blood caked mouth. He was surprised how white hot his anger remained when seeing these conditions. He needed to hurry and get to Daagard Keep even faster now. For if he didn't reach Crysania in time this young girl would surely die. "She must be at the most four". Raistlin thought sadly. How could people let children suffer like this, they way he and his brother had suffered, and they were lucky for Flint had taken them in probably saving them from this very fate. Raistlin frowned, "No..." he whispered. "Flint saved Caramon from this fate...I would have left. I would have had my magic." He cast the spell to slow the wretched disease on the tiny girl then picking her up he put her on the horse behind him.

"Mr. Majere..." she said softly. "Will I be okay?" she said her throat hoarse from coughing heavily.

"Yes small one. Now hold on to my robes tightly. We will have to ride fast." And they did ride fast. Faster than Raistlin ever remembered riding before.

That evening they approached Nightlund. Looking over the hill they could see the expanse of the haunted wasteland, and in the middle of it lay Daagard Keep, Lord Soth's once glorious manor now a hideous charred thing children saw in their darkest nightmares.

"You will wait here." Raistlin said to the girl. "I will cast a spell of protection on you and this entire area. No one will be able to enter until I remove the spell. Casting the spell he barely thought of the energy it would take. Resting one moment he began to walk down the hill to approach Nightlund. As he walked closer he could hear the eerie singing voices of the Elf maidens who nightly sang to Lord Soth of his misdeeds that brought about his eternal damnation. That thought struck Raistlin powerfully. "He is eternally damned...So how am I to defeat him?" Now as he approached the gate to Daagard Keep the charred and blackened doors swung open. Standing in the middle of the room in his burnt armor of a Solamnic Knight if the Rose, was Lord Soth. His eyes were glowing orange flames, mirroring the horror of his death. For a moment Raistlin actually felt pity. To eternally live your life over and over, seeing each mistake you made replayed. That would be true horror. But he remembered the task ahead of him and a look of fierce tenacity replaced the pity. "I see I was expected."

"Yes," Lord Soth said in his hollow voice. "The Dark Lady said you would come."

"Yes my dearest sister is right. If for no other reason, I had to come to kill her." Raistlin said with a thin lipped smiled.

"No harm will come to her Raistlin Majere. Unfortunately I cannot say the same for the cleric. For if you refuse to help Kitaira, her life will be ended swiftly."

"I am sure you didn't expect me to go willingly?" Raistlin asked sarcastically.

"No I did not. My orders were to use force if needed. Is force needed Raistlin Majere?" Lord Soth said with a chillingly empty laugh. Not empty of humor as Raistlin's was. Lord Soth's laughter didn't mock all that was good; it didn't denounce the chance of hope. Lord Soth's laughter instead showed all of those things that Raistlin's merely claimed to be true. The low hollow laughter stayed in Raistlin's ears telling him, "You're right. There is no hope, and there never was."

Shaking the hideous laughter out of his head Raistlin cleared his mind and summoned his magic. He felt it burning on his fingertips. Just enough to get the spell started. Thinking about all the suffering he had encountered today he began to chant the words to the spell. Black smoke rose from the ground around Lord Soth. This would be a mental battle Raistlin only hoped he was powerful enough to pull it off. He thought of his son left all alone in the tower, remembered the way he felt upon thinking he may never see him again. He continued to speak the words to the spell as the rocks of the castles floor billowed with heavy black smoke. Next he formed the illusion of elf maidens and one of Lord Soth back when he was young before he died. They told him that his wife had been unfaithful. The Death Knight watched his younger self consider turning back from his quest to stop the Cataclysm to go catch his wife. His eyes of fire burned brightly as he went to step forward, but he suddenly realized he could not.

"Clever Majere...But it will not hold long." The death knight said laughing.

"It does not need to." Raistlin said softly, then he resumed chanting. The illusion continued the stone now beginning to erupt into flame in small spots. Lord Soth saw himself jealously kill his wife. She had been faithful to him. He had been wrong and now the Cataclysm shook the fortress causing the fir to form. The fire that proclaimed Lord Soth's own evilness. He felt the curse upon him damning him eternally.

"Raistlin Majere this does not effect me. I hear this sad tale sung to me each night." Lord Soth said his hollow voice seeming to have a near hint of emotion, perhaps anger.

"No...this does not effect you of course. But maybe this will."

Now a new illusion formed. Lord Soth now rode past the elf maidens he rode onto Istar carrying his message. He saved the world from the fiery mountain. He was proclaimed a hero. His wife had their son. He grew up to be a great knight, one of the greatest Knights to ever exist. Huma even seemed little more than a child's story compared to the greatness of his son. His daughter's were proclaimed to be the greatest beauties across the world they all married rulers of different cities. Lord Soth led a happy healthy life and when he died. The knights paid him great tribute and they sang songs of his service. When Raistlin finished this illusion he watched Lord Soth sink to his knees and let out a hollow scream. As he was about to charge at Raistlin a ring of fire appeared around him.

"Step through if you want. But be warned if you do that will be burned into your mind until the end of time. When the elf maidens finish singing the song of your misdeeds it will begin and it will replay itself until the elf maidens begin to sing again. You will hear your son beg you not to kill your wife when they sing you your sad tale. But you will kill her anyway. You will hear your knight friends tell you to deliver your message and ignore the elf maidens. But you will listen to them and abandon you quest. Your daughters' screams will fill your mind as you ride back to kill your wife. This will continue forever." Raistlin menacingly stared into Lord Soth's fiery eyes.

"Leave Raistlin Majere. Kitaira waits for you." Lord Soth said his hollow voice rung with despair.

Laughing hideously at Lord Soth, Raistlin into the dark shadowy hallway. "Shirak" he said softly causing light to spill down to the end where he saw the shadow of his sister jump with a start.

"What are you doing alone?" she demanded furiously. "Where is Lord Soth?"

"Disappointed your death knight was no match for me, sister?" Raistlin said laughing mockingly at her.

Kitaira covered her ears. "Stop that!" she screamed her voice cracking out into a hoarse whisper.

Raistlin stepped forward. "I heard you were killed by a Solamnic Knight. Let me tell you dearest sister." Raistlin said his voice filled with anger and sarcasm. "You are going to wish that Solamnic ended your miserable life."

From behind Kitaira Raistlin heard a moan. He looked quickly and saw there was Crysania bound and gagged. Kitaira held a knife to her throat. "What were you saying Raistlin? I was imagining how loud she is going to scream when I slice her pretty little throat." Kit said with a crooked smile.

"Go ahead." Raistlin said with a laugh looking behind Kitaira and Crysania he saw a man standing and watching this with a slight smile. "But beware I don't think he will take to kindly to it." As Kitaira slowly turned she saw Paladine standing behind her smiling. He was in the form of an ageless elf wearing a white cloak and a medallion of the Platinum Dragon. His presence was immensely powerful.

"What...This cannot be!" she shrieked. "You are forbidden to enter here!"

"Child...There is no place I am forbidden to enter. Who would forbid me, Lord Soth?" Paladine said gently.

Kitaira stumbled back. Unsupported by the wall she fell onto her back. Raistlin stood before her and laid an icy hand on her heart. She tried to move but she was paralyzed by fear. "Brother..." she whispered. "I saved you once."

Raistlin smiled imitating Kit's crooked grin. "And dear sister I saved you once as well as I told you in my tower. I owe you nothing. But it's funny you see I've gained this conscience and it seems to be rather upset at the moment." He saw Kit smile like a wolf. She thought she would live. "At least I suppose I can give you a painless death." His hand that was laid on her heart simply tightened for a second then he released her and she was dead.

Crysania looked at him with a curious glance. She was still bound and gagged. He untied her robes and took out the gag. She held onto him tightly for a moment.

"We must leave quickly..." he said breathing heavily, completely exhausted. They left hastily Raistlin upon leaving told Crysania of the girl he found. She of course was ready to heal her immediately. "I just hope Paladine will come to my aide again." She said nervously.

Raistlin looked confused then smirked, "That was not Paladine back there."

"Yes it was I felt his divine presence." She said with a small frown.

"No it was just an illusion I created to trick my half-wit sister." Raistlin said with a slight smile.

"Then whose presence did I feel?" she said curiously.

"What you felt was the physical enormity of my power. Instead of using it for any real purpose I merely sent an enormous amount of my power into that illusion so she would believe it was really Paladine.

"You are that powerful..." Crysania said mystified.

"And more so." Raistlin said quietly. "But we need to hurry now the girl is waiting to be healed."

"What is he name?" Crysania asked curiously. This caused Raistlin to frown.

"Actually I don't know." Raistlin said thoughtfully.

Approaching the hill the girl weakly stood to greet them. "You won?" she asked shakily.

"Yes I did. I was meaning to ask you, what is your name?"

"Well it was Nella but the lady in red robes changed it. Now it is Aurelia it means Golden." She said in a shy voice.

"Well Aurelia, were going to help you get better." Crysania said with a gentle smile. Touching one hand to the girl's chest and holding her medallion with the other she prayed to Paladine. Feeling the healing power pour into her Crysania concentrated it into this small girl. Aurelia gasped as the power of Paladine or perhaps Mishakal filled her. She felt her fever lower her cough was diminished. When Crysania finished she collapsed on the ground next to her. They were both starving and weak.

"Well it appears you ladies need something to eat." Raistlin said tiredly. Knowing that there wasn't another tavern in miles he sighed. "I suppose I'll use the last of my magic to transport us home. Just leave me to rest when we get there. Tell Dalamar thank you for watching our son as well."

"You left Aidan with him!" Crysania shrieked. She began to curse at Raistlin while he plugged his ears trying to concentrate. He looked down and saw Aurelia tugging on his robes.

"What are you going to do with me?" she asked her little eyes filled with fear.

"I guess you'll stay with us until I figure out what is going on." He said frustrated.

"You better pray to whoever you worship that my son is alright!" Crysania continued to yell.

"I worship Nuitari and the gods of magic, dear. But I doubt that praying to them would do much good if Dalamar had decided to betray me." He said with a slight smile. Crysania had been about to open her mouth again but he quickly cast his spell and then they were back at the Tower and he was asleep unable to hear her yell.

"That stupid, irresponsible...caring man." she smiled and bending down kissed his forehead. "Well," she said to Aurelia who was string at her curiously. "Let's get some food and get you cleaned up. You know I always wanted a daughter. You'll love Aidan he's just the most adorable baby ever. The girl smiled.

"So is he my baby brother then?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes of course sweetie. I don't know what Raistlin thinks his plans are, but as far as I'm concerned you're my daughter now and part of this family. It will be so fun, I have so many pretty dressed from when I was a young girl that you can wear. I'll do your hair in thick coils, I'm sure it's beautiful, all we need to do is wash it. I'll take you to the temple with me and teach you all about Paladine and we will visit the city and you can help feed the poor and I'll teach you about healing and all the other wonderful things Paladine teaches. The girl still smiled, but it was a sad smile, a smile that held pain that would escape unnoticed past Crysania.

"I think I would like that." Aurelia said softly.