Chapter Two: Denial
Opening up the window of the train compartment, Aly leaned out it and waved good-bye to her friend, hoping Lily wouldn't try to persuade her one last time.
"No, wait Aly! You can't leave me alone in the Gryffindor tower! Just stay with me for the hols. Please? Is it so much to ask to not be alone for Christmas?" Lily wrapped her cloak tighter around her, and tried to ignore the snow and cold.
"You won't be alone, Lily." She winked at the next compartment over, where James was talking to Remus and Peter through the window. "Besides, you know I love ya, but I need to spend Christmas with my family! I never get to see them anymore."
Wincing, Lily looked down. She's making me play the guilt card. She forced me to, I didn't want to, but she's making me. "I wish I had somewhere to go home to…"
"Lily, stop it. You know that's not fair. I've offered a million times for you to come with me, and celebrate with my family, but you keep saying no. Anyway, this came out of the blue, and you only started nagging me last night! How come all of a sudden you don't want to be alone with…" Aly coughed, and threw another exaggerated glance at James.
Going red, Lily stamped her foot. "Stop doing that! This has nothing to do with Potter."
Aly laughed. "And I'm supposed to believe that… why? Try not to make a scene, you're having a tantrum."
"Fine, you win." She sighed. "But owl me, okay? I'll be dying of boredom without you to talk to."
"Alright, I'll promise I'll owl you." The train started to pick up speed, and crimson smoke poured from the engine. Leaning have out the window, Aly gave a final wave. "Have fun with James!"
Cursing, Lily glared at her, but soon the train had left the station, and the platform was nearly deserted. Not deserted enough for Lily.
"Did I hear someone say my name?"
Lily winced, knowing who was behind her. Slowly she turned around to see James, looking amused, satisfied, and cute… Lily gave herself a mental slap that in real life would've have her head reeling. Stop thinking like that! Where did that come from? You must not be getting enough sleep… It was true; she'd stayed up till four in the morning last night thinking about… the spell.
"Well, Lily, sorry to disturb your concentration, but if you stay out here much longer you'll freeze to death. You might want to get back inside the castle."
Try as she might, Lily couldn't detect a hind of cockiness. Damnit! Why does he have to pretend to be nice?
"Err… Lily, did you hear me? You might want to get inside."
Mustering up her best glare, Lily said, "I don't need you telling me what to do. Go to hell Potter."
With that, she stormed off, leaving a bewildered James in her wake.
Lily sat brooding in front of the fireplace in the empty Gryffindor common room. So far she hadn't seen anyone in the tower, and only teachers in the halls. With the Dark Lord rising, most parents had wanted their children away from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named suspected prime target, if only briefly. She groaned out loud at the thought of being stuck in the tower with James, and only James, for nearly a week and a half. It would've been much easier if she could just sort out her thoughts!
There is no way in hell I like James. No! There is no way in hell I like Potter! Potter is a selfish, self-centered, vain, arrogant, cocky, womanizing… she searched her mind wildly for more adjectives… stupid prat! Remember the time he pranked the dormitory so that water poured on you every time you opened the door? Remember how narcissistic he is? Remember how he never stopped asking you out right after hexing a poor first year senseless? A little part of her mind told her that for the last year, he had stopped. The last person she'd seen him hex was Snape, and he'd cursed James first. But that part of her mind, the part that listened to reason and kept calling him James was shoved back as far as it could go, and anger took its place.
He had no right to keep asking me out! If he would've left me alone like I'd asked him to, then I would never even think about liking that ass. But he just had to keep badgering me to no end, harassing me more like it! I'd be a lot better off. I'd be able to focus on what really matters, and I wouldn't even be having this bloody conversation with myself!
She sat there, fuming to herself, fueling her anger so that it grew bigger and bigger, till she was like a volcano about to explode. And when she heard the familiar creak of the portrait opening, Lily steeled herself to aim her explosion on who she guessed had just come in. Nearly tripping over an armchair in her haste, she came face to face with…
"Sirius! What in bloody hell are you doing here?"
"Nice to see you too, love." He sauntered over to the nearest seat and pulled a magazine from pocket in his robes. On Quidditch, no doubt, Lily thought to herself.
Her rant nearly forgotten, Lily said. "I didn't think you'd be here. James just said he was staying."
Sirius looked up and gave her the smile that sent most girls to their knees. "So James told you I wasn't going to be here? You two have a little something planned, eh? I'll have you know, I'm a much better kisser. Too bad he convinced you first."
Suddenly her 'pep talk' from before hit Lily full force, and she remembered she hated James. "Potter didn't convince me to do anything. Well, besides convincing me that he's a complete prat and a waste of my time."
"Cold words, Lily. Still, I wouldn't mind being in your shoes. Being stuck in the Gryffindor tower with such a attractive man as myself makes up for the prat, don't you think? I see the problem; don't want James walking in on us, eh? Don't worry, now that most of the school is gone I know of several guaranteed empty broom closets."
Looking coldly at Sirius, Lily rolled her eyes. "Come on Black, you must have somewhere better to be. I don't want you here. Go home, unless they don't want you there, either?" She gave a sarcastic smile.
The carefree expression on Sirius's face vanished, and an icy anger took its place. "If you must know, yes, they don't want me there either. I would've thought a curt like you would've noticed by now that I never go home for the hols. But you're to obsessed with your own problems to notice that anything outside your bubble exists."
Lily's face fell, and she felt guilty. "Sorry I guess. But you don't have to go all hostile on me! It's bad enough not being able to stand Potter, if I'm stuck with you too I'd rather not have two murders to plan."
Sirius's aggression disappeared, and his old joking self instantly appeared. "Funny, funny Lily. I would advise you, much as enjoy every possible moment we spend together, to toodle off to the library. However, much to her chagrin, Madam Pince is cleaning toad intestines from the sealing, and probably wouldn't want to be disturbed." He paused at the look on Lily's face. "All Remus's idea, I assure you. You'll have to wait if you want to kill him."
Unsuccessfully holding back a shriek of frustration, she hurried up to her dorm, intending to get as far away from any boys as possible.
It wasn't met to be. The train had left several hours after dinner, and hunger was gnawing at Lily'stomach. She knew where the kitchens were, but there was a chance she'd meet Sirius or James there. God only knew how many times she'd told them off for going there and hassling some food from the house elves. They'd have a field day if they caught her there too, so as much as she didn't want to, she trudged down to the Great Hall.
Since it was the holidays, all the house tables were gone and replaced with a single long table. Glancing up at the Head Table, Lily felt relieved to see Dumbledore chatting with McGonagall. They both got up and walked out of the Great Hall still chatting, leaving the Head Table empty. Nothing would happen to Hogwarts as long as Dumbledore remained.
She seated herself at the table and loaded her plate with shepard's pie and a piece of cake. Thinking twice, she grabbed some salad too. Digging into her food gave Lily the chance to inconspicuously look around the table to see who else was staying. No Ravenclaws, but one Hufflepuff third year. Lily was pretty sure her parents had been killed in attacks too. It didn't look like any Slytherins were here either… but wait. There he was, at the opposite end, Lucius Malfoy. The one Slytherin she hated more the Snape, in fact maybe the only person she truly hated in the school. Even her anger at James couldn't top her anger for Lucius.
Taking one final check around the table, she was relieved to see that neither James nor Sirius were anywhere to be found. Maybe they went to the kitchens… Lily took her mind away from them, and concentrated on eating. She was almost through with her dessert when the two walked in. Cursing to herself, she started to wolf down her cake, hoping to make her getaway quickly.
Darting her eyes towards where the two boys were, Lily saw they were making a beeline towards her table. Damnit Lily, hurry! About half of her piece was left, and there wasn't enough time. Not caring whether or not she looked like a pig, she shoved what was left of her cake in her mouth. She was coughing a little, but she smiled as she swallowed. Lily wiped her face on her sleeve, then started to get up.
Except she couldn't stand, because she couldn't stop coughing. Looking around nervously, Lily tried to muffle her coughing in her robes, but she kept hacking, louder and louder. Calm down, just calm down. Trying to calm herself, Lily took a deep breath, well, tried to take a deep breath. All that happened was that she made a gasping noise and her coughs got louder and louder. Don't any of these stupid students know the choking counter-spell? She shut her eyes and concentrated on trying to breath.
Behind her, she could hear two people yelling.
"What's the spell?"
"How am I supposed to know!"
"She's choking, Padfoot, I've got to help her!"
"Here, I'll do it, just move over."
Lily was struggling to breathe, but her mind registered that she had a pair of strong arms wrapped around her. With a final cough Lily could breath again, as she coughed up a cherry, and realized with a start that there must have been some in the cake.
Taking a deep breath, Lily leant against the arms that still held her as she composed herself. Slowly she opened her eyes, ready to thank whoever had just saved her, then shut them again. There was only one person rude enough to not let go. It must be that damn prick, Potter! "Let go of me." Her voice was low and dangerous.
The arms around her slowly released her, and she cautiously opened her eyes, ready to look into hazel ones. She'd give James a piece of her mind.
"Sirius?" The eyes looking into hers were not James's hazel eyes, but Sirius's gray ones. With a start, she looked around, to find James standing a few feet away, sulking.
Giving her a cheeky smile, Sirius gave her a mock bow. "What can I say, I'm full of surprises."
Looking over again, Lily could see James looking even more sullen. He was jealous he wasn't the one to save her! This will shake him off and make him leave me alone… "Oh Sirius, that was so brave of you!" She gave him a gushing smile.
He seemed a little taken back. Obviously he wasn't expecting anything besides a cold thank you. With an inward grin Lily could see that James was positively seething.
"I thought for sure it was my time to go! If you hadn't come I don't know what would've happened."
You had to give Sirius points for adaptability; aside from the initial surprise, he was taking what was happening in stride. "I'm always here for any damsel in distress. Sir Sirius, at your disposal."
Lily gave him the biggest smile she could muster. "My hero." With that, she leant up and gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked off. She knew she'd been laying it on a bit thick at the end, but the look on James's face was priceless!
As she left the great hall, she ambled about, pausing here to get a drink from a fountain, and there to look at a particularly abstract picture. In fact, she was so oblivious in her euphoria that she nearly stumbled on Sirius and James, walking down the hallway ahead of her.
"Listen mate, I didn't know she was going to do that!"
"Couldn't let me do the spell, could you?"
"You didn't know the spell! It's not my fault you don't know the Heimlich."
"Huh? Don't change the conversation, Sirius."
"See, my point exactly! You should stop getting upset."
"You should stop babbling and start making sense. She kissed you Sirius. I think I have the right to be a little upset."
"How was I supposed to know she was going to do that, mate?"
James seemed at a loss for what to say for a minute. "You… you could've at least pushed her off you."
"In case you didn't notice Prongs, we weren't exactly making out. How am I supposed to push her off me when she was never on me?"
Pausing, James looked pitiful. He ran his hand through his hair. "I know it wasn't your fault, but you know I like her. I mean really like her."
"I wouldn't ever take your girl. Hell, I better the whole dormitory knows she's yours."
"Thanks, mate."
The two walked off together, James's arm slung around his friend's shoulder.
So I'm his girl now? Her happiness before evaporated, and Lily was furious. I can't go near Sirius, or Remus, or probably any of the boys in Gryffindor because they know James likes me! At the beginning of her sixth year she'd had a thing for Remus. She'd tried to make it something more, but he had seemed oddly distant. I can't date any seventh year Gryffindors because James has a… a monopoly on me! He can't just do that to me. Well, he should know that there's no way in hell I'm going to let him get away with that. I'll just have to take matters into my own hands.
For a minute or two she stood there, thinking frantically. Slowly a smile grew on her face, one completely unlike her fake one with Sirius earlier. A plan began to form in her head. James would never know what hit him…
Okay people, here it is! Sorry it took so long.
Chriscilla- Glad you liked it, I was hoping it wasn't too fluffy.
James-RoxMySox- Miss Goody Two Shoes is about to get a lot worse…
Lindsey88- Okay, okay, here's the chapter! The rest of the eight steps won't come for a bit though.
Me- Here you go, hope you like it.
Titcurieuse- I hope you like this one too!
ZombieGurl98- The next chapter should come a lot quicker!
Thank you, you guys, I love everyone who reviews! Sorry it wasn't updated quicker, but I had some stuff to do with my family. The more you update the faster it will come! And, since I'm a review hog, I solemnly swear that if I get 20 reviews I'll add an extra page to the next chapter. I really doubt I'll get that many, but c'mon people, make my dreams come true! Review, review, review, and make my day!