Well, not many reviews, not even from my best little reviewer T-S-S.
What's the matter T-S-S? Ran out of assassins?
And Novashia's torture will continue until Chaos comes to pick it up, remember, DEATH BY COOKIE!!!!!
Well, time for the promised uber-fluff, YAYYYYNESSSSSS!!!!!!!!
And, since I love you all so much, I'm gonna make this chapter a song fic!! More YAYYYNEESSSS!!!!!!
I changed the summary, for those of you who didn't notice. Maybe the fluff will attract new, more faithful reviewers.
Disclaimer: I don't own Avril Lavigne's "Too much to ask," and if the Teen Titans belonged to me you would be shouting joy to the heavens, and the faith would no longer be ignored. BB and Raven would be more open to their feelings, and this fanfic would be a super-special movie event, worthy of an Oscar nomination! But sadly, that is not the case (weeps) sniff... WAAAHHHH!!!
Please, review, PLEEEAASSSSSE!!!!!! I'm not mean, I'm nice, and c'mon, it takes like twenty god damned seconds!!!
Also, I would like to apologize for all the cursing I do, if you want me to try and tone it down a little, just tell me, but if nobody has a problem with it, I'm gonna keep doin' it, cause I'm an adult dammit!
Let's get this party started!!!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-St. Andrews hospital, 8:57 AM-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Beast Boy looked down at his watch for the umpteenth time, he had been here, in this hospital waiting room, for almost five hours, and the entire time, all that he could think of was one thing. One fact that burned through his mind, no matter how hard he tried to banish it, it was his fault.
This was all his fault, he was the one, the one that the rest of Titans had left to comb the city for just a few moments before, he was the one that had shot Raven.
Beast Boy could not bear to tell the Titans the truth, he knew they wouldn't believe him, they never really did unless they had proof, and he didn't have any video cameras to prove it this time. They had asked what had happened, prodded and questioned him, and he answered with a simple lie.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-Flashback-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Beast Boy, did you see what happened to Raven?" Robin had questioned him, desperate for an answer. Robin hated to be in the dark, he needed to know the facts, he needed clues, I guess that makes him kinda paranoid, poor little guy.
"No," he responded blankly. He didn't know what to say, he couldn't tell them what really happened, so he would survive on a lie, at least until Raven was safely back in the tower, back in his arms, so that he could finally tell her how he felt.
"I found her like that, tried to bring her home, then the hive came and she fell off my back, that's all." He answered blankly, his voice as emotionless as Raven's.
He had then told them to search for Raven's attacker. He would stay here, in case she woke up. But, in reality, he had just wanted them to leave. He wanted to sit alone, sit and think, think about what he would say to Raven she woke up. How he would explain what had happened, even though he had no idea himself.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-end flashback-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
So Beast Boy sat in an uncomfortable waiting room chair, not really thinking, not really asleep, not really doing anything, like he wasn't even there. He had passing thoughts of Raven, so beautiful, so calm, so warm, and yet, so cold.
And he couldn't think of a time he had ever felt this lonely, or this sad, he just wasn't the sad type, not like Raven, always pushing everyone away, stone cold.
"It's the first time I've ever felt this lonely
Wish someone would cure this pain
It's funny when you think it's gonna work out
Till you chose weed over me, you're so lame"
'If she would just open up more often people could help her' he thought to himself 'but she never does, and she might never know how I feel' and then he added 'and I need to open to her too, just tell her, tell her how I feel, how I've always felt, ever since the first time she pushed him away'
"I thought you were cool until the point
Up until the point you didn't call me when you said you would
Finally figured you're all the same
Always comin' up with some kind of story"
He thought of the first day the Titans had been a team, he craved so much attention back then. Always cracking a joke, just for the laughs. But when he told a joke to Raven, she just ignored him, she wouldn't even smile.
After that day he had made his mission in life to make Raven smile, cherishing every smile, every small chuckle she ever made. He would burn them into his mind, and they would stay there forever. His great prize, glowing in his mind, like his trophy cabinet, his shining victories in the endless games they played.
"Every time I try to make you smile
You're always feeling sorry for yourself
Every time I try to make you laugh
You can't you're too tough
You think you're loveless
Is that too much that I'm askin' for?"
He was never truly angry at Raven, he could never bring himself to hate her. He knew she had a reason for being so cold, a very good reason, and he knew that deep inside, she would give anything to feel, to laugh, to love.... Love?
But Beast Boy was getting his up. 'Sure, she would love to show her emotions, but she can't, and you can never be with her.' He told himself, as he slumped into a slouching position in his chair. Disappointment and sorrow filled his thoughts with anger.
'Why doesn't she try and do something about it?' he thought, 'She's a danger to everyone around her, why doesn't she try to fix her emotion problem? Why can't she just try?' He asked himself this stupid question over and over in his mind, his thoughts angered in rage, as the rain pounded against the window.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-Raven's POV-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Thought you'd come around when I ignored you
Sorta thought you'd have the decency to change
But babe I guess you didn't take that warning
Cause I'm not about to look at your face again"
Raven ached all over, and where she didn't ache she burned, her shoulder and midsection, screaming in white hot pain, seared through her consiousness and brought her out of her sleeping state. All that she could remember was Beast Boy's worried face, and her warm ride through the sky.
She was awake but couldn't move, she couldn't even open her eyes, all that she could hear was a constant 'beep', and the rain, pelting against, what she assumed, was a window. She fell back asleep, into the dreamless slumber she knew so well.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-back to BB-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Can't you see that you lie to yourself?
You can't see the world through a mirror
It won't be too late when the smoke clears
(Cause I) I am still here"
Beast Boy's thoughts traveled back to the previous night, the night when Raven had tried to make him feel better, his shoulder felt warm where she had touched it as he remembered exactly what she had said...."I'm sorry Beast Boy, It was a good theory, and you were only trying to help."
He turned to her, his emerald eyes on the verge of tears. "Thanks," He answered, making no effort to remove Raven's hand from his shoulder. She was comforting him, and he wasn't going to ruin it.
"I was just so excited that I could lead a mission for once, I guess I wasn't thinking straight. It seems like I'm never an important player on the team, like when we went underwater, and I thought I would be important for once, you know? Then that freak Aqualad shows up, and I'm just the odd man out again. For once, I was the leader. Guess I wasn't a very good one, huh?" Beast Boy finished.
He looked up at Raven and her dark purple eyes, expecting her to have the same dull expression that she always wore, but she didn't. It was slight, and unless you were looking for it you couldn't have seen it, but Raven had a small grin etched across her gray features, and Beast Boy could see it clear as day. "You'll get your chance someday; just try to be right a few more times, okay?"
Beast Boy smiled back up at her, taking in every detail of her smile, burning it into his memory so that he would never forget. Raven's smile was something Beast Boy lived every day, told every joke for, it was priceless to him, a rare treat. They both stood there, smiling, for a few moments, "So um, good night then," Raven said awkwardly, walking through the doorway. "Wait," Beast Boy called out to her, he wasn't done just yet, "I'll do better next time, just for you, I promise."
He finished, Beast Boy could feel the heat rising up in his cheeks, and Raven could too. "Good," She finished simply, and disappeared down the hall, she didn't want it to sound cold, but it did, and she knew it would break bb's heart.
"Heh, heh," He chuckled when he thought about it, "That was one smooth line." The other people in the waiting stared at him, confused by his sudden outburst. They whispered among themselves, so oblivious to the fact that Beast Boy was hurting inside, even more in the dark than he was, not knowing a thing.
"And every time I try to make you smile
You're always feeling sorry for your self
Every time I try to make you laugh
You stand like a stone
Alone in your zone
Is that too much that I'm askin' for?"
Beast Boy hadn't realized it until now, he hadn't thought of that moment closely enough to realize it, but Raven had smiled, she had stuttered, she had blushed, she, she had acted like he had, like he would, if....'No, it can't be, it couldn't.......... but, it must!' And for the first time in his life, Beast Boy realized, she felt just like he did.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-Raven's POV-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Can't find where I am
Lying here alone in fear
Afraid of the dark
No one to claim, alone again
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)"
Raven sat up in bed, she had just woken up to find that she could move, not that it didn't hurt unbearably, and took in everything around her. The hospital room was dark, and she guessed it was late at night. The heart monitor next to her bed was beeping consistently, casting a greenish glow across the floor, the glow reminded her of him, of Beast Boy.
She also noticed that she was heavily bandaged, gauze wrapped tightly around her stomach, and across her shoulder, going around to her back. As she sat up she could feel her wounds re-open, the thick bandages turning a slightly dark shade of reddish-pink. She felt a tickling feeling at the back of her throat, she put her hand in front of her mouth and coughed, hacking blood into her hands.
She pulled back, gazing at her bloodied hands.
"That can't be good." She said to herself, breaking the silence that had so enveloped her, and she fell back into her bed, hoping to find a restful sleep.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-BB again-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Can't you see that you lie to yourself?
You can't see the world through a mirror
It won't be too late when the smoke clears
(Cause I) I am still here"
Beast Boy sat alone, all alone in the brightly lit room. He could see the dark sky through the large window, hanging just beyond the lights of the hospital. He looked at his watch again, 12:08 AM, but he wasn't tired at all. Then suddenly, he heard a loud commotion down the hall, as if something was going on, all he could hear was people running and talking, a confused tone in their hushed voices.
"But every time I try to make you smile
You're always feeling sorry for yourself
Every time I try to make you laugh
You can't you're too tough
You think you're loveless
It was too much that I asked you for"
Several doctors stood aside as a shadow moved into Beast Boy's view, and a jet black wolf stepped out from the hallway. It crashed through the window, landing, unharmed, onto the street below, and scampered into the night, with a green hawk, hot in its tracks.
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Wow, that's the longest chapter I've ever written!
Well, how did you like my first songfic? It sure was fun to write!
Please, for love of god, review! C'mon guys, send me an assassin, compliment me, flame me, anything!
I miss you guys so much!!! I'm gonna go insane, talking to a wolf and a cookie all day!
And Chaos, for Novashia's sake please, come take it home. (Looks on sadly as Novashia is mauled by giant psychotic cookie)
Well, bye bye now, and please, read, review, repeat.