Artemis Fowl: The Mastermind

A Fan fiction by: Deviant Goddess a.k.a Bella

Disclaimer: In no way do I own Artemis Fowl, though I REALLY wish I did. Eoin Colfer owns all characters such as Artemis, Butler and the rest. I made up a few. I only have spare change saved up in my moneybox so please don't sue me!

Description: A month or so after 'Eternity Code'. Mulch Diggums is released from prison and Artemis Fowl delves further into the mysteries of the contact lenses. Suddenly there's a new mastermind on the scene, one possibly more intelligent than Artemis himself. The Fairy Haven is thrust into danger, but with Artemis Fowl's memory gone, whom will they call on for help?

Genre: Artemis Fowl, Fantasy/Adventure/Romance

Author's Note: I recommend that you've read all three Artemis Fowl books before reading this story. I'll go into quite a bit of detail to explain what's happened before this, but I will be assuming you already know…so...be forewarned! Oh, and no offence if your name is Maurice!

Please excuse any grammatical mistakes, it was late when I wrote this and I was really tired!

Please read and review!

UPDATE!

This is a new updated version of 'The Mastermind'. The first few chapters have been altered slightly (but shouldn't change the overall outcome of the story.) Feel free to re-read if you wish and refresh your memories. It does, however, still contain typos and other grammatical and spelling errors. Bear with me people; I have no one to edit this story! It's hard when you've read it a billion times; you tend to skim over the mistakes…

My apologies for the time it took me to submit the new chapters. I was very busy with schoolwork, and also I'm writing a few original stories of my own. So, I'm very sorry for the delays!

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!

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Prologue

Tara Shuttle Port

Mulch laughed, a high-pitched chortle.

It was a long time since he'd last laughed. Being locked up in Howler's Peak has a tendency to drain all laughter away. Sharing a cell with fire-throwing goblins can be a tad uncomfortable when you're a dwarf.

But now, Mulch Diggums was free from the goblins, released from prison, and laughing. And believe me, if you heard a dwarf laughing, you'd think it was funny too. Just don't stand behind him. Sometimes they laugh so hard they let off a bit of wind. Dwarf gas isn't exactly what you'd call pleasant. I'm sure you'd stop laughing right away…

Mulch stepped out of the shuttle and into the secure waiting room. Glancing around, he noted the choice of décor. Lots of steel bars. Though, Mulch supposed, he had just been released from prison. It could be quite cosy; just chuck in a pile of soil, a couple o' stinkworms and a dung heap and you'd have a dwarf's dream. Pure bliss.

The two Lower Elements Police who had accompanied him soon interrupted his thoughts. Mulch was secretly surprised at them. They had stopped each one of his twenty-five escape ploys. Though he should have known Commander Root would have taken care of business.

The first guard smirked at him.

"Well, well," he said scornfully, "It's time for us to at last say goodbye, Mr Diggums."

"I know, and thank Frond," replied the other guard, holding his nose, "He didn't stink half bad, now did he, Maurice?"

Mulch sniggered. Maurice?

Maurice whacked the second guard around his pointed ears. "I told you never to call me that!"

The second guard rubbed his ears. "Geez, sorry…" he said with an injured voice.

The first guard turned back to Mulch. "What was I saying?"

Now it was Mulch's turn to smirk. "You were saying goodbye, Maurice"

The guard fumed. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that and continue," he said, pushing the dwarf over to the controls booth, "and finish this off real quick-like. My shift ends in thirty minutes and I'll be damned if I'm gonna miss the next episode of 'Married with Gremlins'. So once again I'll say goodbye, Mr Diggums."

The second guard cut in, confused. "Is it Diggums?" he asked staring at the computer screen, "We've got a record here for a 'Mo Diggence'"

Mulch stopped his inner laughing for a moment and frowned. Mo Diggence was one of the names he used while incognito and living with the Mud People.

He'd forgotten about the Antonelli Family mob. They would be more than happy to see him again. Mulch thought they'd be so happy, they would probably give him a welcome back present; a nice comfy pair of cement shoes and a sudden drop.

Mulch grimaced. He could mark Los Angeles off his list to live in. That list was steadily growing shorter.

"I don't cared what he's called," snarled the first guard, "As long as he's out of my sight within the next three minutes. How's the outside activity monitor?"

The second guard called up the Activity Monitor onto the screen and studied it carefully. "A couple 'o cows and a dragonfly but apart from that, it's all clear. We're good to go."

"You're good to go, dwarf" The First Guard growled, "Here are your new rights, or shall we say, lack of rights. Using my rank as a LEP, I hereby strip you of all your fairy privileges and liberties, including the use of all magic."

Mulch couldn't care less about the magic. He never used it anyway. Spell casting gave him a headache.

The guard continued, "You are no longer one of the People and must seek sanctuary with the ones who crawl in mud. Be warned, to venture underground into Fairy Territory would be your death." The guard grinned again, "Oh, and I'll be taking this too." He said grabbing at the thin chain around Mulch's neck. The Fairy Bible. Mulch shrugged the necklace and minute book off, and into the elf's fingers. The book was written in Old Gnomish. Reading in spirals was just another thing that gave Mulch a headache. Who cared about that piece of trash anyway? Mulch's mind had already forgotten about the book and was focussed on the door. The dwarf was tingling with anticipation. 'Come on, come on… Let me go already.' Mulch thought grinding his massive teeth impatiently.

The second guard flicked a switch in the control booth and the door to outside opened with a hiss. Bright light streamed into the dim room. Mulch could smell cowpats and freshly cut grass.

The first guard kicked Mulch out the door with a heeled boot. "Good-luck…human." he called sarcastically.

The door slid shut behind him and Mulch could see the guards laughing at him behind a glass window. Mulch 'accidentally' opened his bum flap and flashed them. They grimaced and turned away. That was possibly the worst insult he could have given them.

Mulch breathed in the fresh air. Although, one could hardly call it fresh, not with all the pollutants the Mud People pumped into it. However, it was still better than the stale air in the shuttle.

Mulch looked around, at the sun, the blue sky, the lush grass. He couldn't help it; he started to laugh again and skipped along the path a little bit.

Mulch remembered his funds were a little bit low. Actually, they were nonexistent. Hiring a lawyer to counter over a hundred years of crime was expensive. He'd have to make a bit of cash by calling in on an old friend…

Ah, life was sweet, Mulch thought happily as he bounced along. Now that he didn't have to worry about the rest of the Fairy People chasing him, he could actually start to relax. He wouldn't have to be on alert constantly. And that's exactly what Mulch did. He started laughing again, high-pitched and almost hysterical. He laughed so hard he almost choked. But it wasn't choking that stopped him dead on his tracks.

No, it was the pain in his head after being struck with a large rock from behind that stopped him. As he passed out, Mulch had one last thought, "Man, I'm gonna hurt tomorrow…"

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Well, that's the prologue! I rambled on a bit, so sorry if it's a bit long and boring. Please review! I slightly updated it from the first version that was here, but nothing crucial…