Chapter 10: Her Decision

Sheba's POV

I could feel my hands beginning to feel numb with fatigue. How did this happen? Why am I here hanging off the top of the Venus beacon?

"Sheba, you must hang on! If you don't you'll fall!"

It's no use. My fingers would soon get incapacitated and eventually... I would slip away and fall to my demise.

"Listen to me! This is a matter of life and death. You have to be strong, or else... or else you'll die..." the same familiar voice was reaching out, deliberately whispering the last words.

He's encouraging me. Why, when it's no use? It's hopeless, I'm helpless it's obvious. I might as well just give up trying to keep myself from plunging into the deadly sea. But... this familiar male's voice, it was telling me not to give up. I looked up, trying to see who he is, but unfortunately, with everything, every image so blurry I couldn't make out his image. I could see his color, some of his features, none of the image I was seeing looked familiar. But I still wasn't sure, it could be anyone I know or not, with everything blurry and hazy, it was hard to tell. Who are you?

However, there was one thing I knew about this person. I knew that I felt like I could trust this person, felt comfortable with them even as I am on the line of death. I felt like I knew them though it does not seem so. I knew it felt like he knows who I am... completely.

Faran? Ivan? Who?

My frail hands were fighting a losing battle against gravity and fate. Destiny even. I could no longer keep myself hanging from the cold tower. I was ready to accept my destiny. With all my courage summoned, my grasp was released and I fall freely towards the awaiting ocean. Fall freely towards my death. I close my eyes, I know I shouldn't just so I could see the whole world again for the last time, but I was stubborn and kept them closed. I can feel the tide rising, showing its anger and will stop at nothing to drown me for trespassing its territory. I should be close now, close to my untimely death. I take a deep breath and sigh in contentment. But why contentment? I never had anything or anyone to feel content even in my near death.

Only a few meters left. The last thing I heard before I enter the dark sea was...

"Sheba..."

I woke up, perspired from the horrible and frightening dream. It's those dreams again. Everynight I have them they just reveal more and more, and each time, they seem and feel more and more realistic. A thought struck me. This wasn't a dream, it was a premonition. It was a vision of what would happen to me in the near future.

Will it happen? Should it?

I don't know which would be better. Dying early from falling off a lighthouse, or living and spending the rest of my life in fear of my captors? Especially to him. He could've just left me to die from those monsters, yet he didn't. He saved me.

Why?

Felix's POV

I wonder how mother and father are doing in Prox. I hope they're safe and sheltered and protected. I miss them, and so does Jenna. And the sooner we light all the beacons, the sooner my family can be reunited and become happy again. If only Isaac knew and understood my intentions.

I guess seeing me and my family, and Isaac with his mother and father together again would be impossible and would seem naive. Especially if my former childhood friend will assumingly do anything to stop me.

I wonder... if I could live happily with my family and my best friends again. If I could ever relive my childhood where I was so light-hearted and carefree. Where all that mattered to me was being with my family and protecting Jenna from Isaac and Garet if both of them ever think of hurting her. I wonder if I can be myself again.

Not if Saturos and Menardi are always a shadow upon me. Feeding my conscience just so I would stay with them and help them light the beacons. Not only that, they've taken my parents away from me and Jenna. If I want to save them and Kyle, then I have no choice but to fight against my friends.

My freedom's also sacrificed, if I wish to save all of my loved ones, even the ones who now see me as a traitor. I have to do this, I have to travel with Saturos and Menardi. I owe them my life, this is my only way of paying them back. Even if I wasn't travelling with them, I still need to do this, to save my parents, to save Weyard.

I also wonder... would I battle Isaac to our death if I need to?

I look up at the dark sky, the stars glowing brightly, and the moon sharing its bright, pure light. Thinking about the time where the situation of Jenna and Kraden being taken as hostages could've been avoided.

flashback

"Felix... No. It couldn't be." my sister was petrified. She could not believe that her brother who was thought to be dead was standing in front of her, with other people instead of their mom and dad.

I could only stand there and look at my beloved sister. What would I say to her after those three long years? Would she even believe what I say? I stood there, not looking into my sister's face, my face showing a hurt expression.

"Oh my brother, I thought you were dead!" she looked like she was about to cry. She moved closer to embrace her brother, but held back. She was confused, if her brother's back then why is he here with these people and fighting against his best friend?

My sister also had the hurt expression on her face. The only word she could manage to whisper was: "Felix..."

That situation could've been prevented. My sister never should've gotten involved, same with Isaac and Garet and Kraden. If only I had done something to prevent it. Anything! Unfortunately, I couldn't.

I thought and I promised to myself that I will be the only one involved in this quest, I promised to myself that my family and friends wouldn't have to get involved in this. I could've just told them that I was alive in the first place instead of lying. Now my sister and both of my friends are involved in this. Now they think that I work for the enemy and I'm evil. My two friends don't even know what I'm even trying to do anyways. I can never win Isaac's and Garet's trust ever again...

All those promises, and none of them were ever fulfilled. They're nothing, just a bunch of empty promises that I can never bring myself to complete. What if I can't fulfill on my promise to light the rest of the lighthouses? Am I going to fail on everything I try to do right?

No, no, no! I can't let myself and everyone down now, I've already gone so far and I am not intending on giving up. I can't think of my past now, there's nothing I can do to change it anyways. Isaac would never understand anyways, I'm doing this for him as well, but if he doesn't see that then I might as well remain enemies with him and his friends.

'What makes you sure he won't understand?' a voice entered my mind. I turned my head to see. Sheba, placing a hand gently on my shoulder, reading my thoughts.

I stared into her eyes. My expression unreadable. Another innocent life that does not deserve this suffering. Her face had a look of uncertainty. She quickly tried to remove her hand, but I grabbed it and held it tightly before she could completely retrieve her hand. I kept my gaze, now her expression went from uncertain to frightened.

I realized that I was hurting her. I softened my grasp on her hand and let out a sigh. Her eyes would not look at me, only sadness can be read in her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" even I can hear my voice sounding mean and rude. I don't know just what it is that makes me so... so different around her. Her expression remained the same.

"I wanted to ask you something..." her expression hinting to me that it was about last night with those monsters.

"Look, if it's about last night with those monsters and how I treated you, I'm sorry. I guess things were going too quickly for me, and I couldn't handle it. I guess I took my frustration out on you." I answered before she could even ask.

"I already have... but that's not it." a look of surprise crossed my face. She took a deep breath before starting. "You could've left me there to die, since you think I'm not worthy to be in here with you." she stuttered. "I... I want to know why you saved me back there. It's evident that you think I'd only cause trouble, y-you could've left me to die. So... why did you?" trying to sound brave and defensive but the stutter in her voice telling me otherwise.

"Saturos and Menardi need you at the Jupiter Lighthouse, if I didn't take care of you while they were away, they would've punished me for it." denying the truth. "If it were me leading, I would've left you by yourself."

I'm lying to myself again. I know it wasn't really because of Saturos and Menardi. Back there, when she was being attacked, I was so caught up in protecting her and Jenna that nothing else mattered. Not even my own life. Practically it seemed obvious that I was only trying to save my sister, and that's who I thought I was fighting for, Jenna. But there was this tugging in my chest that told me, Sheba also needed protection, as if she was important... like she was needed. I couldn't figure out what it was, but the sight of the innocent Laliveran girl getting hurt gave an uneasy feeling inside my heart. I had to protect her. Or else the uneasy feeling tugging in my heart would deepen. Why did I feel that way?

Her question shook me by a little. I felt angry for no reason. Not at her... but with her attacker. It almost felt to me like she was... needed, like she was important. It made me feel anxious and scared.

...Was it worry? Why? Do I care for her?

"Hmm..." she echoed, staring into me, like she could look into my soul. It was making me uneasy, but her gentle eyes told me otherwise. "I have another question..."

I said nothing and waited until she asked her question.

"Why?" I gave her a puzzled look. "Are you happy living like this? Why live with these kind of people when you can live with your family and friends? I don't get it." she emphasized.

How could you know?

I sighed heavily before talking, even though I felt unsure confiding this girl. "Well, I never chose this kind of life. I guess destiny chose it for me. I tried running away from it once so I wouldn't have to suffer from the mistakes I made, and so I wouldn't have to meet you." her eyes were wide in surprise. "Life was never fair to me once." I told her honestly. "Even if you did know why I'm doing this, you wouldn't understand." I paused, "And you shouldn't have to be burdened with things that don't involve you."

"Even in this quest." she sadly whispered. She looked up at the stars, her face being showered with light. "I tried running away from this exact destiny too," she bit her lip, hesitating to say the rest. Finally, she spoke again, "And something else..."

She managed to keep an optimistic smile but it was obvious she was only trying to cover her pain. I don't think she'll be willing to talk about the other destiny she was running away from just yet.

I sighed and stared at the fire. It's only a few more hours until sunrise. My fingers rested on the bandages around my waist from the battle with those soldiers. I looked at her and noticed that she never showed any emotion towards her soldiers, it didn't bother her that they were dead.

"You're too young for this..." I whispered to no one in particular. My eyes rested on the fire, watching it burn the wood that it was fed with.

She stared at me in silence. Giving me a sad look. She placed a hand on mine and closed her eyes, ready to converse with me in our minds.

'Can I tell you something?' her sea-colored eyes stared into mine, a serious look crossing them both. I stared back at her and nodded, ready to listen.

'This may sound impossible and delirious... but... before I was abducted by Babi a voice visited me in my dreams and told me that I... that I would meet you and...'she trailed off, 'and she said that I would learn my real destiny if I came along with you... and that you would come for me...' she quickly shook off her hand from mine. Her cheeks burning a bright red.

A voice? Could it be? The voice that she's talking about is the same voice that was talking to me about her? No, that's impossible... so maybe she IS destined to be here with us... to help me light the beacons, and for her to know who she really is...

"Felix, do you think I can really find out about my past and who I am if I came along with you? I know you think I'm too young for this, and I know that you think I'll cause more problems for you but I promise that I won't... this is my destiny... I can help." it sounded as if she was asking a question and pleading at the same time.

'This is her destiny Felix. If you want to light the lighthouses, you'll need all the help you'll need, even if it involves sacrificing someone else's life. Take her... take her with you...' I quickly shook off the evil thought out of my head. I was petrified and scared of myself, have I turned that evil while being with Saturos and Menardi? Would I really sacrifice her life just for my own happiness?

"Are you really willing to sacrifice your life and your family just for this quest?" she now had an unsure look on her face. I guess she really wasn't thinking of her family until now. "You know they're everything to you. If you get hurt in this quest and... and..." I couldn't finish my sentence.

"Die?" she finished for me. Tears started pouring down from her face. It hurt seeing her cry like that. It's obvious she misses her family and their very important, and don't want them to worry but, not knowing who you are and being falsely praised for who you're not can be devastating. She's torn.

"Which would you choose?" a frown on my face as I asked this. I looked up at the sky, the moon shining brightly and the stars still looking furious at me. They know what I'm planning to do, they know I've taken another innocent's life... they know that I will either accidentally or purposely wreck this innocent's life.

"I don't know..." more and more tears fell freely down her cheeks and falling to the ground. As I look at her crying, I see my sister Jenna and how I would embrace her whenever she cried and was sad. I felt a sudden sympathy for her, unlike Jenna, she had no one to comfort her. I encircled my arms around her and started stroking her hair, both of us surprised at my action. But, none of us moved away and broke the embrace. As I kept her in my arms, the little girl started to calm down and eventually, fell asleep. This is the second time she slept near me.

"Tell me what your choice is when you're sure..."

WOW!!!! This chapter was really really LONG!!!! Sorry for the long wait, but I had a really long writer's block and I had so much school stuff to do - so yeah. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I had writing it and going through hell and scooping my wits out for a proper chapter. R&R thanks!! Hehehehehehehehehe.... lolz... sorry...