A/N: Okay, I owe you all a major apology for not updating this sooner. First of all, I had band camp (I play in the pit! Percussion rules! har har) and that took up a week. Then I had writer's block, and I didn't want to FORCE the story to come because then that would would just make it end up terrible. Anyway, we're getting close. I'm thinking this will only be 10-12 chapters long, somewhere in there. So be ready for ULTIMATE FLUFF! I can't wait. But not yet... not yet..

I can't really decide whether I like this chapter a lot, or if it's just plain weird. shrug I guess I need some feedback. Please read and review!!! Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed so far and been supporting me (you know who you are!). I've been getting nothing but positive responses out of this. I owe you very very much. Ch. 9 will be up as soon as I can get it done. School quickly approaches. Happy reading!

xoxoxoxoxo Erin

July 31

I haven't been writing. I couldn't bring myself to after what happened a few weeks ago. I'm not really sure it's healthy for me to rely on a stupid journal for everything. I was afraid that if I wrote something down, and lost it again that I would start yelling at everyone. I'm really trying not to do that as much. The thing is, now that I haven't been writing... I haven't been dreaming. So I've made a decision.

I have to keep writing. I absolutely have to. I don't know if this is happening because of the way my own mind works, or because of a charm that's on this thing, but the only time I can have her is in my dreams. If writing is all it takes to keep her there with me, then I'm going to write my heart out.

I love her, and it sorta took me a really really long time to figure that out, but now that I do I can't tell ANYONE. Not even Harry. He'd probably have a heart attack and die from learning that I was in love with our best friend. I am NOT going to be responsible for something like THAT. What if the boys in the dorm ever found out? Dean and Seamus would never let it go! I know Neville had his eye on her for awhile... even if he wouldn't admit it. How am I supposed to look him in the eye?

Oh no... what about Paravati and Lavender? If they found out, my life as I know it will cease to exist.

And GINNY of all people!? She's the most likely to figure something out. Lately she's had this odd ability to know exactly what I'm feeling. She keeps trying to COMFORT me! She thinks I'm depressed. Well, I mean I have been a bit of a grump since the whole Crooshanks incident... I guess it was obvious to everyone I was a bit mopey, but that doesn't matter! What matters is that Hermione is upset. When Hermione's upset, then I get upset. I can't help it. But I'm more insufferable when I'm upset... I just don't let anyone know that I KNOW that I am. If that's understandable.

Today's the surprise party. God save us all. I know I said to go ahead with the whole thing, but Harry's been a tad bit irritable (as are the rest of us) this summer and I really don't want to push any buttons. Even though pushing the right buttons can be interesting. What was I saying? Right... party. Ginny says she wants it to be a big ta-do. Well I say she's gone nutters. Harry's probably never had a party in his life. Can you imagine what so much excitement would cause at once? Hey... I'm actually sort of thinking in complete sentences. Weird. Oh wait, right uh, I think that throwing him a huge party that puts all the focus on him and makes him the reason for the celebration (he hates being the center of attention) will actually make him close up again. I'll admit my sister's done an alright job of getting him to be himself, but it's not going to last long if this goes through. Maybe I should say something...

But who will ever listen to ME!!??

"Hermione..." Ron whispered, grabbing hold of her shirt sleeve. Hermione gasped and bit her lip as she turned to face him. Her cheeks were becoming a tad bit warm, but she shook her head and looked him in the eye.

"Yes?" she asked, climbing down from a muggle ladder.

"I need to talk to you....in PRIVATE!" he emphasized as he looked upon Ginny's smiling face. She frowned and returned to putting up streamers.

"Okay..." Hermione answered, heart pounding in her chest. She reached for his hand, but thought twice and brushed off her jeans.

"Well, you see... it's about Harry's party," Ron mentioned when they were finally alone. Hermione's face fell a bit, but she nodded to have him continue.

"I don't think it's a good idea..." he mumbled, and rubbed the back of his neck. It was starting to become a nervous habit of his.

"But Ron! I thought you helped plan all of this. Why suddenly the change of heart?" Hermione asked, tucking some hair behind her ear. Ron gulped at the mention of 'heart' and took a deep breath.

"I don't think it'll make him happy. I know that we thought it would originally, that maybe Harry would be excited to have his sixteenth birthday celebrated by all his friends, but I don't think it'll happen that way. Harry right now is just... not himself. I think putting a bunch of attention of him will make him feel worse, instead of better.." Ron explained, eyes shifting under her gaze.

" I never really thought about it that way," she whispered, looking as if she were deep in thought. Ron knew that look anywhere. She always had a bit of an inquisitive twinkle in her eyes.

" I've been thinking about it, I mean... I do think in my spare time once in awhile," Ron stated, his ears blushing instead of his cheeks.

" We have to go through with it. Ginny put so much time and effort into it, Harry'll love it," Hermione said firmly and left him standing by himself.

" I knew no one would listen, not even her.." he groaned and followed out into the den.

" This place doesn't look half bad now that we've cleaned it up, does it?" Ginny asked him, beaming as he entered the room.

"I guess not.." Ron lied as his eyes scanned the room. The wallpaper was a dark moldy green color, but was peeling off at the edges to reveal a wall that looked like sandpaper. There were no windows, the book shelf they had recently fixed up was leaning slightly towards the left and the arm chair Ron had scrubbed so furiously had stuffing coming out of the seat. It didn't look nearly as bad as it had when they had cleaned it weeks before, but it still wasn't giving off any type of homely feel.

"I know it's not the best looking place, but we have streamers!" Ginny said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. Hermione nodded weakly and pointed to a small yellow decoration near the broken chandelier.

"It's great. I'm really proud of you Gin. He'll really be in for a surprise," Ron replied, trying to be the protector in the situation. In his opinion, Ginny and Hermione were both looking a tad vulnerable.

"No he won't! Ugh, it's terrible! Fred and George tried to smuggle stuff in here, but mum caught them and took half of it away. Now all we've got our these stupid fireworks, but they'll catch this whole place on fire! And I can't put up streamers! Mum always did that for us! I don't even have the resources to make a cake..." Ginny rambled, devastated.

"Ginny, Harry's never had a birthday party in his life. No matter what this place looks like, it's going to the best party ever," Hermione tried to reason with her. Ginny just sniffled and composed herself.

"Yeah, it'll be alright Gin. Where's Harry anyway?" Ron asked, hoping things would be ready soon.

"He's... in the shower," Ginny mumbled, a pinkish color to her skin.

"Ah, well then I guess we don't have much time. About 15 more minutes I'd say.." Ron calculated and grabbed a balloon.

"Ron, do you even know how to do that?" Hermione asked in curiosity. Ron raised his eyebrows, and without saying anything blew as much air into the balloon as possible. Nothing happened.

"What in the world?" He mumbled to himself and tried again. Hermione suppressed a giggle.

"Trust me Ron, it's quite difficult. It gets easier as you go along, but it's really hard to get the balloon to blow up as soon as you put air into it. It really hurts your jaw too.. I never really thought about how painful it was to get stupid balloons where you need them to be.." Hermione thought aloud and grabbed a balloon from the bag. Her cheeks puffed out and her face turned purple as she forced the balloon to expand. Ron couldn't contain his laughter.

"Well I'm not going to work on these things if it'll make me look like that!" he joked. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"What are you guys doing?" a voice asked from the doorway. Ron winced and turned to find Harry, hair dripping wet.

"Gin..." he mumbled as she buried her face in her hands.

" What's going on?" Harry tried again, but Ginny ran past him at the speed of light. Hermione bit her lip and placed her hand on Ron's sleeve.

"Well, er....surprise?" Ron said eventually, unsure of what would happen next.

"You mean... all this? This is all for me? You guys, but I... well you aren't very good at this sort of thing then are you?" Harry asked them, folding his arms over his chest.

"WHAT!?" Ron burst out in shock, anger filling his veins.

"Well, you are SUPPOSED to keep the birthday one distracted so they don't come down EARLY and ruin the surprise. I thought Hermione would have known that," Harry said simply and shrugged.

"You unappreciative!!....." Ron started and tackled Harry to the ground.

"RON!! GET OFF OF HIM!!!" Hermione screamed pounding on his shoulder. Harry laughed and tried to kick Ron off of him.

"Gerooffff...." he mumbled under Ron's weight.

"We plan a party just for you and..AGHHH!" Ron screamed as Harry hurled him across the room.

"I was just kidding. I think somebody needs to go talk to Ginny..." he said through his laughter and straightened his glasses. Ron shook his head in disbelief, Hermione fuming by his side.

"Ron, we don't resort to violence!" she scorned him and stood up slowly.

"Yeah Ron. Wotcher.." Harry added, rubbing his arm.

"And you!! Harry! You just.... c'mon RON! We'll go get Ginny and Harry here will sit down and wait to be surprised all over again," Hermione warned and grabbed Ron's hand, pulling him up off the floor. Ron trembled but quickly shook himself out of it, wiping of his sweaty hands.

"Yeah Harry... what she said.." he mumbled in a daze.

"What's wrong with you?" Hermione asked as they climbed the stairs together.

"Harry...he..." Ron mumbled to himself.

"Oh for goodness sake Ron! He said he was only joking!" Hermione said, obviously frustrated.

"I don't mean the part about the the surprise thing! I'm talking about when I tackled him!" Ron tried to defend himself, not sounding any better.

"What got into you anyway? Just tackling Harry like that? You need to learn how to control your temper. One of these days it's going to get you into trouble, and I couldn't bear..." Hermione rambled. Ron pinched her arm and Hermione jumped back in shock.

"I JUST SAID..... RONALD!"

"YEAH WELL STOP JABBERING AND LISTEN UP ALREADY!"

"WELL I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE SO TEMPERAMENTAL!"

"THEN I GUESS YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT I JUST NOTICED ABOUT HARRY!"

"Well... RON... maybe I don't care!"

"Oh you do Hermione, you do care"

"Don't tell me what I care about! You wouldn't know if it kissed you square on the mouth!"

"Well probably not! It's not like I've been kissed before!"

"And whose fault is that EXACTLY?"

"Can I just tell you about Harry now before this becomes another argument about Krum?"

"Why would it become another argument about Krum..?"

"HERMIONE!!!"

"Fine. Tell..." Hermione said eventually, flipping her hair over her shoulder and stomping up each step.

"He didn't throw me.." Ron said simply and followed behind her. Hermione sighed and took a deep breath in.

"Are you saying that you decided to get off him? So that I wouldn't be as mad about you tackling him or something? I don't...I don't get it," Hermione questioned him, confused as to why he harassed her for something so unimportant.

"No 'Mione. I'm saying... he didn't PHYSICALLY throw me. He never put his hands on me and sure as hell didn't THROW me. But I went flying across the air. As far as I can tell, he didn't have a wand pointed at me..." Ron carefully explained. Hermione's eyes widened, but she quickly shook her head.

"He's a wizard. You can make things happen when you're angry or scared without meaning to.." Hermione tried to reason and stopped in front of Ginny's doorway.
"Sure you can, but Harry was laughing," Ron pointed out. Hermione stared at him a moment longer, but said nothing. She raised her hand up to knock on the door, but Ginny opened it on her own with her hands on her hips.

"Don't bother. You two are so loud you can't even let a person be in anguish quietly," she informed them, rolling her eyes.

"Well sorry your highness. Ready to go back down?" Ron asked her. Ginny wiped her eyes with her sleeve and flattened her hair. With a small nod the three of them headed back to the den.

July 31

So far the party has been going great. There was a slight problem toward the beginning... er, Harry found out a bit too soon what we were doing. We did fix it though, and Harry's been happy for the most part. A couple of times his mind seemed to be elsewhere, but he's always managed to pull himself out of whatever funk he's been in lately.

Hermione however has been very distant. I've tried asking her about it, but she always responds the same. "I've got a lot on my mind Ron, that's all"

I've got a lot on my mind too. Stuff I'm not willing to tell anyone about. I guess I sort of understand where she's coming from. But it's still hard to not know how to help.

Not to mention what Harry did earlier. Do you think he knows that he managed that? I mean, wouldn't he notice if I went flying backward and he didn't even touch me?

Ginny is positively giddy. You would think she's never thrown a party before in her life the way she's acting. I think she still fancies Harry a bit, even though she denies it. Harry has at least been talking to her more lately, even if he's not interested. I know how it feels... unrequited...like. Unless, my sister LOVES Harry, but I don't really see that being the case.

How young is too young to be in love? Do you think maybe I'm wrong about being in love? I can't quite tell. I think I am, but I don't know for sure. I guess it takes something really big to let you know when it's happening. I don't think I've gotten there yet. But I know I'm falling in love. Do you think there's a way to pull out of it?

I don't want to, but I think I have to. It's for the best. Perhaps.

"I'm gonna ask you one more time, is there something you want to talk about?" Ron asked, plopping down next to Hermione on the floor. She sighed and ran her hands along the cracks in the wood panels.

"Not really Ron. What is there to say? There's a ton of stuff I could say I'm thinking about," Hermione responded. Ron patted her hand and chuckled.
"I'm thinking about Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans," Ron told her, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling.

"Why?" she asked, crinkling up her nose in amusement. Ron did his best to shrug and lifted his head a little off the floor.

"I haven't had them in a really long time, and even though there are bogey flavored ones... I'm willing to risk it if I find a good cotton candy," he explained and scratched an itch.

" I prefer butterscotch," Hermione admitted with a laugh.

"I wonder where they get the bogies to flavor the beans with. Maybe that troll Harry knocked out in first year! That troll had some snot.." Ron wondered aloud, watching Hermione shudder.

"I don't think so. Don't forget you helped Ron, I remember that.." Hermione reminded him.

"Yeah, but it doesn't count. It would have, if I hadn't been the one to make you go running off to the girls' bathroom in the first place," Ron argued.

"Don't worry about it. I've forgiven you," Hermione joked.

"Yeah, so what's really on your mind?" Ron asked her, resting on his elbow.

"What you said earlier about Harry. I'm just wondering what this year has in store for us. It's never easy, is it?" Hermione asked, eyes shining.

"No, but it's always interesting. Especially because I get to be with you and Harry. It makes everything worth it, don't you think?" Ron responded.

"Yeah... it really does.." she answered quietly.

"Hey, don't be so gloomy! It's time for exploding snap!" Ginny squealed, pulling Ron up off the floor.

"We weren't gloomy. We were just talking," Ron stated. Hermione laughed.

"Well, gloomy or not...I'm getting hungry!"

August 1st, early morning

After some major gift giving, exploding snap gaming, and dancing like fools... I think Ginny managed to throw Harry a real party. Mum was real proud of her. She even baked us a cake. Well, actually she just gave us a couple chocolate frogs she had been saving and we tried to put candles in them before they hopped somewhere we wouldn't be able to reach. I gave mine to Hermione, she was craving chocolate and well... I didn't need it. She actually KISSED MY CHEEK. I really really love when she does that. I don't think she knows that though.

I have a serious problem. I'm heading off to bed now, but I don't know when I'll be able to write. You see I've just run out of ink.

"RON! ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?" Hermione screamed, running up to Ron. He was lying on his back, after being viciously hurled through the air.

"I'm fine 'Mione, really.." he insisted, choking on air.

"What just happened?" she asked, caressing his forehead.

"Well, Harry got a bit angry and just... looked at me. I'm not really sure what happened," Ron relayed the information to her.

" I'm sorry that happened. Do you need a chocolate frog?" Hermione asked, taking the candy out of her back pocket. Ron chuckled and put his arm around her.

"What's really on your mind Hermione?" he asked her.

"That troll in first year," she replied in a whisper.

"Why would you be thinking of that?" Ron asked in curiosity. Hermione smiled.

"Because, you saved me. Well, obviously Harry helped.... but I didn't get butterflies in my stomach when I looked at Harry afterward," she told him, resting her head on his chest.

"Yeah, me neither," Ron joked with her, kissing the top of her forehead.

"I really liked you Ron!" Hermione said with a sigh. Ron's face dropped and he met her gaze.

" What about now?" he asked nervously. She placed a small kiss on his lips and hugged him closer to her.

"Now I'm falling in love with you"

"Hermione... I'm falling in love with you"

"But I said it first"

"At least I didn't reject you"

"You wouldn't have"

"But I could have"

"But you didn't"

"Stop nagging me"

"Ron! Don't pinch me!!"

"You asked for it!"

"Shut up already!"

"Why?"

"Because I want you to kiss me again!"

Ron opened his eyes and stared blankly at his wall. He laughed to himself, shook his head, and fiddled his fingers in the dark.

"Bloody amazing..."

"Ron...you're drooling.." Harry's voice cut through the room. Ron turned to see Harry standing in his doorway.

"What're you doing awake?" Ron asked him rubbing his eyes.

" I just... wanted some company," Harry said quietly and began to rub his scar. Ron patted the bed and Harry moved beside him.

"Nightmare?" Ron asked simply. Harry shrugged and picked at the bedsheets.

"You know, it won't always be this way.." Ron stated, leaning up against the wall. Harry made no reply, just sighed and readjusted his glasses.

"Thank you, for everything"

"Happy Birthday Harry"