Disclaimer: Scenario credits to Lady Genjutsu. KND doesn't belong to me. You go, Warburton-sama!
A/N: Okay, a few things to clear up from the last chapter. I don't usually do this, but I'm making an exception this time:
AkitoSana: Thank you for the much-needed background on Operation: REPORT. I can't believe I missed that episode. My collaborative stories usually end up not being finished, but primarily because my friends lose interest.
Remedy428: How could I have introduced a Mary Sue without giving some background?! I'm really sorry and thanks for pointing that out, I'll try to go back and add something about the Mary Sue stereotype. I'm planning on putting aside some time after work this week to finish your story, so don't take my review personally—you have an excellent writing style so keep it up! And since I'm not a legal midget (short, but not a midget; 4'11" doesn't qualify as a midget) I wouldn't know they'd prefer to be addressed as "dwarves." Personally, I'd rather be called a midget—'dwarf' conjures the image of one of those jolly little lawn gnomes from The Sims.
ahhelga: I wasn't intending to cause any offense by Mary Sue's number; on the contrary, I honestly didn't believe anyone would pick up on it. (Kudos to you, Number 34, and silent H.) If you'd like, I could go back and change it, but I thought it was kind of fitting even though she really didn't turn out to be all that threatening. As far as naming the characters is concerned, I find it easier to simply address them by their numbers—that's just laziness on my part. If it's really annoying than just say so and I'll stop being lazy. Grin
And to everyone else: thank you so much for your reviews! Getting feedback is great help for writing!
Operation: STUCK
Sometimes
Traveling
Upwards
Causes
Konfusion
"Wow, I didn't think we'd ever finish!"
"So when can we use it?"
Number Two proudly gazed upon his newest device and let out an accomplished sigh. "Right now," he replied. "It's about time I did something about that old elevator. This baby covers every single level on the tree house."
"Now that is a nice piece 'o work," Five grinned as she gave Number Two thumbs up. "I'm thinkin' we give it a test run right now up to the Cheese Room. Whaddya say?"
"Ooh! Cheese Room! Cheese Room!" Number Three let out a cheer and flapped her sleeves in the air.
"Sounds good to me," Number One nodded. "Alright then, let's—hey! Number Four! Where are you going?"
Four sheepishly peeked around the staircase banister. "Aw, forget elevators; I'm usin' the stairs."
"What are you, nuts?!" Two protested. "There are like, a buhmillion steps to the Cheese Room! And besides, we're on the ground level."
"Feh," Number Four scoffed and proceeded to discreetly sneak up the stairs. "Elevators are for wussies. Besides, think of all the exercise we'll get from climbing the stairs."
Number Three raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "I think you're just scared."
"I am not," Four hastily protested.
"Are too, are too," Three sang as she waved her sleeves. "Number Four's afraid of the el-e-va-toooor!"
Four glared from under his bangs and clenched his fists. "I am not scared of some ruddy elevator and I'll prove it," he declared as he leaped off the staircase and ran over to the elevator's open doorway. "See?" he smirked, gingerly stepping over the threshold. "No fear here."
"Look, that's great 'an all, but Number Five wants to get to that Cheese Room," Five interrupted as she pushed Four into the elevator. Numbers One and Two nodded in agreement and followed Five, Number Three skipping behind the two while waving her floppy sleeves.
"Hey, wait! You guys—!" Four exclaimed as the doors closed. Number One pushed his way to the front and punched in the number on the control pad, pausing momentarily to check his glasses in his reflection on the gray tiled wall. The gears sprang to life as the elevator began to ascend up the trunk of the tree house.
"See now?" Five grinned as she gave Number Four a friendly slap on the back. "That wasn't so bad." Number Four's face began to turn a pale green as he slumped to his knees.
Suddenly a loud screech sounded from overhead and the elevator abruptly stopped. The five operatives stared at the closed door in expectant hesitation. "You were saying?" Number Four groaned as his face went from green to pale white.
"Maybe the doors are stuck?" Number Three shrugged.
"Maybe, or maybe not," One replied, somehow maintaining his calm composure. "Number Two, can you give us a status report?"
Two began to fumble through his pockets until he withdrew an orange-handled screwdriver. "I think it's jammed, Number One. The doors should've opened by now."
"I knew it!" Four exclaimed. "This is all your fault!" If you hadn't made me come on this stupid thing in the first place this wouldn't have happened!" He cried as he accusingly pointed a finger at Number Three.
"I didn't make you come on," she replied. "You did that all by yourself."
"Yeah, well, you...and...but..." he left his unfinished sentence hanging defeatedly in the air.
Number One peered over his shades. "Don't panic, Number Four, chances are it will start up again."
"Panic?! Who's panicking?! Not me!" Number Four objected, obviously panicking.
"Geez, man. Calm down," Number Five shrugged. "We've been in worse jams before."
"Easy for you to say!" Four cried as he elbowed his way to the elevator doors and tried in vain to pry them open. "You're the one who decided to go to the Cheese Room!"
Two squeezed past Number Four and began to unscrew the control panel cover. "Hey, don't go blaming this on Number Five. It's not her fault you're claustrophobic."
Number Four continued to tug at the doors. "I-AM-NOT-CLAUZZY-WHATEVER!!!" he hollered as he lost his grip and smacked into the wall, narrowly missing Number One's head.
"Number Four," One began calmly. "Everyone has fears. Being afraid of closed-in spaces is nothing to be ashamed of."
"First off, I am NOT ashamed, and secondly, I am NOT whatever the heck you're calling me!" Four snapped as he picked himself off the floor and began to study the ventilation ducts on the ceiling.
"Claustrophobic," Two corrected as he pulled out some green wires from the control panel.
"Whatever," Number Four growled. "Hey, Number Three, can you give me a boost? I bet I can reach that vent and get myself out of here."
Number Three blinked. "What about the rest of us?"
"What do you mean, 'what about the rest of us'? Of course you're coming!" He snapped as he rolled up his hoodie sleeves.
"Number Four, as your leader I forbid you to go in that vent," Number One interrupted. "Not only is it a hasty, rash decision, but it's risky and I can't allow you to endanger yourself or others."
"Listen to yourselves! We're all gonna die if we stay here!" Number Four cried as he pulled at his hair. "Either we'll run out of air and all suffo—suffo—die, or we'll become so hungry we'll have to eat each other!" With that said he turned around and slumped into a little ball in the corner of the elevator.
"Man, he really does have issues," Five remarked. "But I am worried. How long is this going to take?"
"I don't want to die! I still have lots to do!" Number Three cried. "Number Four, are you still thinking about that vent idea? Because I'll give you that boost if you want it." Number Four mumbled an inaudible answer from the corner and began to rock back and forth.
"For the last time, the vent is off limits," Number One declared, his patience waning.
Number Five raised her hat and looked at Number One squarely in the eye. "What else is there? I say we go for it! Why not stop trying to be all heroic all the time and follow some common sense?!" She frowned, her cool long gone.
"Number Five, you know as well as I do that the vent might lead to the furnace! I can't afford to take that risk!" Number One retorted, his own tolerance snapping.
"Uh, guys..." Number Two interrupted from the control panel.
"Not right now!" Numbers Five and One yelled, sending Number Two into a cringe and Four out of his corner.
"Yeah, I say forget this crummy elevator and go out the vent!" Number Four announced, his fighting spirit rushing back.
"Uh, hello? Guys?" Two timidly added from the corner as he pointed to the control box.
Number One sharply turned around, his sunglasses off center. "You can't just go gallivanting through the vent like there's no problem! We have no way of knowing whereabouts in the tree house the elevator's stuck, meaning we can't tell where this particular vent leads to." He gestured to Number Three and Number Five, who were intently examining the ventilation duct. "What would you tell Moon Base if Numbers Three or Five got burned to a crisp in the furnace?"
Number Four paused, the color draining out of his face. "You've got a point...but still, we can't stay here."
"Uh, guys..."
"I don't wanna be crispy!" Number Three sobbed and turned on the waterworks.
"That's not what he meant! Ah, don't cry!" Number Four replied as he bit his lip in frustration and turned to Number One. "Now look what you did! You're not helpin' anyone!"
"I...hey, at least I'm being honest!" Number One protested as he nervously mopped his brow with the back of his hand. He wasn't about to add that 'crispy' and 'burning to a crisp' were essentially the same thing.
"Guys..."
"Man, there you go again, always getting the last say. I know you're the boss and all, but you don't have to be so pessimistic," Number Five glared at Number One. "Always thinkin' of the worst things that could happen; that's all you do. No wonder we're not getting anywhere—you're too scared to do anything!"
"I am not too scared, it's my job as the leader to ensure everyone's safety!"
"Hey, guys, can you listen for a moment?"
"But I don't want to be crispy! I wanna get out of here!"
"Will you two stop yelling? You're only makin' it worse!"
Number Two sighed and shook his head. Desperate times called for desperate measures, or a creative event-related joke. In this case, both scenarios won out. "Hang onto your hats, people! We're about to get floored! Get it? Elevator? Floored?" Number Two grinned as he flipped a switch on the control panel.
"Aw, sheesh, Number Two! This isn't the time for—WHOA!!!" Number Five yelled as the elevator unexpectedly began to sharply drop down the tree trunk at break-neck speed.
"WE'RE GONNA DIIIEEEEE!" Number Three and Four cried in unison and hugged each other in fear.
Number One attempted to stay flat on his feet in vain as he clutched onto his sunglasses. "Number Two, what did you just do?!"
Number Two grinned as the elevator abruptly shuddered to a jolting halt and the doors innocently pinged open. "Welcome back to the ground floor," he answered. "While you were arguing I fixed up the control panel."
Number Three and Four exchanged self-conscious glances and hastily broke away from their frantic embrace. Number Three scanned herself over and beamed. "I didn't get all crispy after all!" she declared satisfactorily.
"Yeah, well...aw, nevermind..." Number Four grumbled and shuffled his feet.
"So after all that..." Number Five gawked and turned to Number One. "Boss, I am so sorry—"
Number One held up the palm of his hand. "No need to apologize, Number Five. We were all under pressure. But Number Two," he added. "I think it would be best if you install an emergency exit switch to ensure that an incident like this doesn't happen again."
"Sure thing, Number One," Number Two saluted. "So, who's up for some stairs? Get it? Up? Stairs?"
"Dude, that was bad, seriously." Number Five groaned and trudged up the stairs. "I don't think I want any of that cheese anymore."
A/N: Contest time! When you leave me a review (assuming you do so) let me know something about your own childhood—past or present—that you considering to be annoying; for example, why parents shave, the purpose of school uniforms, obnoxious neighborhood bullies, etc. Don't tell me about the time you went bowling with Uncle Ralph and got a bowling pin stuck up your nose and had it surgically removed; I don't care. Highly fascinating and remotely horrific, but that's not what I mean. I'm looking for inspiration for the next chappie so whoever leaves the best idea wins. (Not that your idea's bad—aw, you know what I mean) Thanks for reading!