Spongegoth Punkpants: Disease of Darkness
Chapter 2: A Meeting with Homestar
Same disclaimer as last chapter; I own none of the characters from Homestar Runner.
When we last left Spongebob, he was running frantically to the Chum Bucket to see if Plankton had come down with the disease that plagued the rest of his friends. He burst thought the steel doors, into the usually empty restaurant.
"Oh, hello, Spongebob. Nice to see you again," he was greeted by Karen, Plankton's computer wife.
"Same to you, Karen. I need to see Plankton," he replied urgently.
"I'm sorry Spongebob. Plankton is very busy with paperwork right now, and he doesn't want to see anyone. An I interest you in anything, a Chum Burger perhaps?" Karen gave a digital sigh.
"No thanks. So you say Plankton isn't sick?" said Spongebob curiously.
"Why no! Now if you're not going to buy anything, get out!" Karen said darkly as she ushered him out.
"Maybe there's someone else I can talk to…" Spongebob thought and without thinking, he climbed through a window, right into the kitchen. At the grill was an odd looking creature. For one thing, it had no arms but seemed to be flipping burgers as if he had invisible ones. It wore white boots and a red shirt with a white star on it. The creature had no neck, no nose and no ears, but had a red and blue propeller hat on its head.
"Oh, hey yo. I'm Homestar Runner," the creature said with a smile in an odd accent.
"Uh, I'm Spongebob. Are you Plankton's new fry cook?" he asked.
"No. I was just swimming and somehow I ended up here. Then this short dude forced me to cook these gross burgers, man. He's a little scary. But thankfully, my shift ends in fifteen minutes," Homestar whispered.
"Uh, Homestar, if you don't mind me asking, have the people where you live come down with some weird disease?" Spongebob asked.
"Why? Because Strong Bad and Marzipan and Pom Pom and Bubs and everyone are acting really weird, man. Like…uh, they're sick and all, seriously" he replied
"Hm…okay Homestar. Meet me at my house when your shift ends. I'm going to find out about this disease," Spongebob said triumphantly.
Fifteen minutes later, Homestar made his way to Spongebob's house. Oddly, Spongebob heard a knock on his door, even though Homestar had no arms.
"Hwello!" Homestar said happily.
"Hi Homestar, come on in," said Spongebob as he ushered him into his kitchen.
"Now what's really bugging me, man, is how am I breathing under water?" Homestar asked as he sat down at the table.
"I don't know. Divine intervention?" Spongebob shrugged "Want something to eat?" he offered him some sandwiches and chocolate milk.
"This reminds me of Homestar Jr.," Homestar mumbled. "So seriously, what did you find out about the disease?"
Spongebob had done some extensive through his library to find information on the strange disease, and his efforts had been fruitful. "Well," he showed Homestar a book, "I found out what the disease is called; it's called the darkness disease."
"As the title suggests. No relation to the band," Homestar said vaguely.
"But anyways," Spongebob spoke between the bites of his sandwich, "it gradually possesses its victims and kills them from the outside. The rotting of their body starts in the stomach, which causes the pains and spreads throughout the body. When the victim dies, their body is completely black and lets off a stench of rotting vegetables that can be smelled for miles around." he cringed.
"Wow man, seriously."
"And it says here, that when three united can find the cure above the water. According to this prophecy, one of goodness, one moron and one of wickedness can find it. And we already have one moron and one of goodness, all we need is one of wickedness. But it also says that one transforms into a divide entity and will save all, whatever that means. But where are we going to get the one of wickedness?" Spongebob asked.
"Hey, I know. How 'bout that mean short dude? Y'know the weird guy who made me fry cook." Homestar asked.
"That's a great idea, Homestar! Besides, Plankton's the only one left who isn't sick. And I know just the thing to get him to do it…."
"So you're saying, if I join you two morons on this quest thing, you'll give me the Krabby Patty secret formula?!" Plankton exclaimed. They were back at the Chum Bucket, talking to Plankton. Luckily, Karen had let them in.
"No, one moron. That's me" Homestar corrected him, proud to say that he was the moron.
"Uh…yes, Plankton. It's right here," Spongebob held up an envelope delicately.
"Well what are we waiting around for? Let's get going!" Plankton yelled!
Trust me this gets better. You have no idea of my anger that someone parodied the original Spongegoth Punkpants. Grr….R&R, please.