Disclaimer: RK is not mine, and even if I were to duel with the owners, the Princess Bride could never belong to me…
Author's note: message of the day has to be: THANK YOU for all the reviews, I'm unbelievably encouraged by your responses. *yay!!*
WARNING: Beware! I have decided to do the twisty-turny thing, so you'll notice the plot being taken in slightly new directions here on in. I'm still basing this on The PB, very much so, but I'm adding some original Akari action to it, because I really want to make this parody a bit different and a bit me: I hope that's understandable. If you are a devoted PB fan, and don't want to see any of the storyline or details changed at all, you're probably better off not reading this, okay? No excuses for flames now! Cheers all!
The Princess Bride: Kenshin Style Three
Kaoru sat very stiffly, holding her cup of tea in a grip of steel. She had made the mistake of not thinking carefully about the situation, and realising that there was nothing she could do but wait until the woman left, and then perhaps talk to Kenshin about things. Instead of following this rather rational course, she had forgotten herself and was taking her mood out on her cup of tea. It was fortunate that the cup was not a living creature, or it would certainly have bitten her by this time. A good bite probably would have snapped her out of her mood, and she could have got one if she'd wandered out to the nearby forest, where a local rabid fox lived, but she didn't think of that, either.
So, instead of getting bitten or calming herself down, she sat and pinned her tea in a cup-sized death-grip.
The woman was still talking with Kenshin in that stupid flirtatious way. She had paint on her lips and an elaborate hairstyle, but Kaoru just thought it made her look like an older person trying too hard to look young, and looking really fake and tarty instead. It was a good thing Kenshin didn't know she was thinking that, or he would have be rather disappointed in her: though, perhaps, he would have realised it wasn't really her normal personality to be unkind in that way; Kenshin was a discerning young man, on top of his other qualities.
It was Kenshin's discernment that gave him reason to want to laugh out loud and dance around the room at Kaoru's face: she looked like a dragon chewing on a wasp. He guessed why, but decided the game could go a little further before he'd put her out of her misery: or rather, her jealousy. He needed to make sure it wasn't just a passing phase for Kaoru, for, deep inside, he knew it would hurt him far too deeply if he opened up to her, only for her to decide she didn't love him properly after all. He had to be absolutely certain, after waiting for so long (it felt like years) for her, that she truly wanted him by her side forever, holding her in his arms and protecting her…
He was thinking about that when a touch on his shoulder snapped him back to reality. "Oro?"
He looked up with wide, surprised eyes to see the older woman leaning towards him, a little too close for comfort. He leaned back suddenly, so much so that he lost his balance and fell over backwards. His hot tea fell over his clothes and hands, and he jumped up, crying, "Ow ow ow ow ow ow owww!!!!!" flicking out his hands to try and cool them off. He stopped short, panting and looking sorry for himself.
Kaoru tried not to laugh, knowing he wasn't really hurt too much at all: anyway, served Kenshin right, if he was going to flirt with that horrible woman. And she probably wouldn't want to talk with Kenshin anyway, now that he'd done something so clumsy. Kaoru clenched her fists and grinned delightedly.
When she looked up, the woman was touching Kenshin again, trying to dab the tea from the front of his kimono with a piece of cloth. As if that wasn't bad enough, she then glared down at Kaoru with an accusing look, and said, "Well, don't just sit there, girl! Get a towel or a cloth or something! Silly girl," she muttered under her breath.
Kaoru's fingers closed tightly around her cup again, and red spots appeared high on her cheeks. Her cup shook in her grip.
"How do you cope with such a silly child?" the woman asked in a low voice to Kenshin, leaning into him as she spoke.
A crack appeared in Kaoru's cup.
"All I know is, I wouldn't even have her as a servant," the woman continued.
The crack spread, and tea started dripping to the floor.
Kenshin leaned back to the woman, speaking in a low, too-male conspiratorial voice that made Kaoru feel a little strange inside. "If it weren't for the pay…" he said.
Kaoru's cup splintered into pieces of flying china.
She stormed out of the room.
Kaoru didn't know whether to feel more angry, or more miserable. She supposed she was just a swirling, explosive mixture of the two, and tried to calm herself down, knowing she'd completely lose it if anything came near her in the next hour at least. She prayed that Kenshin wouldn't come near her for a while, or she was certain she'd end up telling him how she felt, and end up looking foolish: or else, end up shouting at him and ruining her chances for good.
She decided to do something constructive. She snatched up her bokken and strode out of the house, making her way back to the valley. The view was so beautiful, and she wanted to be far, far away from that woman and even Kenshin, if being near meant she'd have to watch him talk to that woman in that voice he'd used before. As she remembered that voice, Kaoru shivered involuntarily. It was so deep and masculine; she'd felt drawn to Kenshin even more. It seemed that she was simply falling even more in love with the man every passing moment.
She shook her head to clear it from such weak thoughts, and gripped the bokken, narrowing her eyes and emptying her mind. She could forget about everything when she was practising, concentrating solely on unity of mind, body and weapon, on letting her strong will flow through her, and give power and control to her movements. She held the wooden sword up, and brought it down with a cry. Up, and down. Up, and down. As Kaoru fell into the rhythm of the exercise, she felt her worries strip away from her, falling off like an old skin. It made her feel good: new, and alive, and free.
She kept practising until the sun's light failed her, and she was forced to return to the house. She was tired and sweating, but felt a lot better. She could face anything.
The carriage was gone. The area around the house was starting to fill with shadows, and a soft orange light touched the top of the walls and roof, clinging to the last minutes of the day. Kaoru watched as the sun slipped beneath the horizon. The eastern sky was already a deep blue.
Kaoru shivered in the cool evening breeze as it took the heat out of her tired body. She was glad that woman had gone: she didn't feel like putting up with any more of that for today. She sincerely hoped she would never have to cope with it again.
As she slid the door open, she froze. Someone was nearby, watching her.
She spun around, and her eyes settled on a dark figure, leaning against the wall near the door. Their head was bent down, and their hair covered their eyes, and though the evening light changed the colour of everything, Kaoru recognised Kenshin straight away. His hair was softened to a deep blue, and his skin was ethereally pale in the growing moonlight.
"Farm boy, what are you doing still out?" she asked, too tired to sound so very bossy. She hadn't even stopped to wonder why it was that she hadn't noticed him there straight away.
Kenshin looked up, strands of his thick hair falling into his face. His eyes were dark, a midnight blue that was almost black. Kaoru had to stop herself catching her breath. Clouds in a storm…
He gestured to the tool in his hand. He was mending it.
"That can wait until tomorrow, you know," said Kaoru, irritably, feeling annoyed at herself for being drawn in just by his eyes. She didn't know that when you're in love with someone, *just* looking into their eyes is a pretty big deal. She talked on. "You should be inside asleep by now, not hanging around out here lurking in the shadows like a would-be assassin." Kenshin stiffened slightly as she said that, but Kaoru didn't notice, looking up at the sky as she spoke to avoid his dark gaze. The stars were coming out, she noticed. Pretty.
Kenshin had already assumed his casual stance again when Kaoru pointed an accusing finger at him, meeting his gaze defiantly. "Leave that now, and go inside. You can't expect to work well tomorrow if you don't sleep properly tonight."
Kenshin just looked at her, in that way he always did. He was wondering if she was really concerned with how hard he worked, or if perhaps she cared that he slept properly. He decided not to dwell on it. At least she didn't know the real reason why he was out here.
"As you wish," he said, deliberately using the low, throaty voice that he'd noticed Kaoru react to earlier that day. He restrained a grin when it worked. Kaoru had shifted her weight in a fidgety way, and looked away from him again. In a way, he wished he hadn't done that, as he enjoyed the little feeling of tension between them when their gazes locked. He liked it when she defied him. To be honest, sometimes she outright baffled him, but he supposed that came of her being female: he'd always been baffled by females to some extent. If only I knew what she was thinking right now…
Kaoru muttered, "Fine." She continued inside, taking off her shoes and putting them down soundlessly, before padding to her room in the twilight. Sleep well, she thought wistfully.
As she lay down to sleep, she thought about the day. She'd been on a roller coaster, emotionally speaking, and was glad to have sleep as a refuge from it all at the end of the day. She wished she'd had the courage to ask Kenshin about that woman, because it only worried her to think that something may have happened that Kaoru didn't know about. But then, there was no way of asking that didn't imply something about Kaoru's feelings. If only, if only Kenshin would see how she felt, and come and find her. She imagined him padding through the hallway to her door, coming to find her in the concealing darkness, and a strange feeling rose inside her, like a small animal that had slept until now and had just awoken. After a moment of that strange new feeling, she found that she was a little sad, too. After all, it was now, in these lonely watches of the night, when she realised how small and dull her life had been. Always before, it hadn't bothered her so much, because she hadn't known anything else, apart from what she could faintly imagine. But now, now that she knew love… Now that she really knew how she felt about Kenshin…
She turned over, trying to relax and calm her active mind for sleep. She couldn't not think about Kenshin, though. She wanted him there, right beside her, that first lonely night of being in love, with a need so strong it defied all her sense of reason to understand it. She couldn't relax enough to fall asleep. In the end, she found herself imagining him lying beside her, his arms protectively around her. She imagined the feeling of her hand on his shoulder, and her head resting on his chest, and listening to his heartbeat.
As Kaoru lay there in the darkness, imagining the sound of Kenshin's heartbeat, she whispered into the night, "Just hold me, Kenshin. Just for tonight. Please, just hold me..."
Safety and warmth crept gently into Kaoru's soul, and her eyes closed in peaceful sleep.
Outside in the cool night air, Kenshin lingered in the shadows around the house. He stole silently around the area, cold violet eyes searching the darkness. Finally, satisfied that nothing crept in the shadows there but himself, he stepped silently inside the house. A deadly serious glint in his eyes flashed in the darkness as he made his way to bed.
Notes to reviewers
Aniprinzess: Another K&K moment here for you! (I love those moments too, but I'm trying to prevent the entire story being dominated by them!)
Jeniffer: Thanks for reviewing again! I'm going to have to get a personal translator!! I'm glad you're enjoying my story, thank you!
Me: Cute… Yes, I like being cute, and The Princess Bride is too full of cute as it is, you know?
Kyaa-Kyaff: Thanks for putting me on your fave list, that's made me feel really chuffed. I managed to get another chapter done pretty quickly this time, which is always good! Hope you liked it.
Coherentidiot: I WILL win you over to the dark- I mean, Kenshin side! *grin* Yeh, I can't help those lustful moments… I'm such a teenager! *well, whaddya gonna do?* ^_^
Shojin Takaru: Arrigato (for R&R-ing!). Actually, Kenshin doesn't necessarily suck at swordplay- I did put words to that effect in the first version of chapter one, but I amended it pretty sharpish to make it that he was pretending to suck, cos I agree, he is Kenshin therefore he can't be without ability with a weapon. You'll notice some little things cropping up more from now on regarding that…
Akai Kitsune: Thanks: I worry a little about changing her character. Tying together two rather different stories isn't quite as easy as I'd hoped, but I'm glad you think it's going well. ^_^
AngelsExist: I'm glad you like twists, cos I'm toying with a couple at the mo for this story. As for the hiccups… *blush* They were a little out of place, I know, but the reason was because recently at work, I had an attack of hiccups, and had everyone at work telling me how to get rid of them and laughing about it. I guess I just had some issues with those hiccups that I needed to get out of my system! And no, they weren't in the PB, I put them in. Like I said in my note at the of this chapter, I'm not going to stay perfectly in accord with the book throughout my story… Just thought I'd better warn you!! It was a good point tho, and please point out things like that if you wanna know about it: that's what reviews are for!
Shizuka: Thanks for the review: I'll be developing the 'thing' between K and K a lot for the next few chapters (and I hope it does bloom nicely!), but I'll be introducing a couple of other things too… Glad you liked it so far!
Silver_iris: I have shoved other work aside to write this chapter: stories are more important! And plus I don't like the look of my homework… *sheepish* Ah well! Hope you liked this chapter! I love the whole jealousy thing: it's an emotion that can be so much fun to use in a story… hehehe
Kaoru_kamiya_theRacoonGirl: I'm trying to keep a flow! I have updated as soon as I could! I'll try to keep it coming pretty regularly for you!
Kawaii sakura-chan: We write but to write more… ^_^ The lady isn't terribly vital to the story, but she was in the book of Princess Bride and filled much the same role (ie making Buttercup, or here, Kaoru, realise their feelings)
Gochan: Hey, I made you laugh! *big smile* That makes me feel chuffed, I have to say! I know what you mean about clichés: I really hate them. There are some unavoidable ones in this story, seeing's as the original PB used clichés as part of the humour, but I'll be putting in some slightly different things too… ^_^
NightRain: Yay! Yes, I did try to write like the book does! I don't know how strongly that style will continue, because I'm going places and doing new scenes that don't necessarily suit that style so much, but… well, I'm aiming to keep that style up as the main style of the story. I'm glad you liked it. ^_^
t.angel: I hadn't seen it in forever til I watched it a little while ago, either: when I saw it, I remembered all those days off sick at school and watching it while sipping lemonade… *memory lane revived* Glad you like the PB storyline!
Faerie-chan: YES!!! Inigo is the coolest! My friends at college like to laugh at me when I quote those infamous lines of his, but it's just so cool. And you may have guessed correctly about Sano… *grin* It's not absolutely definite yet, but I can't help thinking he'd suit that role.
Thanks for all the reviews everyone! Keep 'em coming, make me smile!! *does the happy dance* I'm so glad people like my story!! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
Until the next chapter…