Hi! This is the first fanfic that I've posted on this site, so I hope you enjoy it!
This is a story that popped into my mind while I was listining to Maria Mena's CD "White Turns Blue". This story features a song from that CD called "Shadow" (hence the name of the fanfic!) The CD is highly recommended! Hope you enjoy! Thanks for your time! :)
"Frodo? You look a little tired. Why don't you go and lie down for a while. I'll make sure everything stays in order around here. You go and get your rest."
Frodo sighed in response to Sam's persistent "mothering". Without argument, Frodo trudged into his bedroom and snuggled under the thick, feather blankets.
"What's bothering you, sir? You just don't seem like yourself lately. Are you sure you're not sick?" Sam's words played over and over again in Frodo's mind. Frodo tried in vain to hold back the tears. He knew his life was changed the second he had accepted the weight of the ring. But Sam just didn't seem to realize that that change could not be altered. Even though the ring was destroyed, the Fellowship was safe in their homes, and Middle Earth was finally at peace, Frodo never would be himself again. Frodo knew he wasn't the same Frodo Baggins anymore. He knew this, but still the thought plagued his mind: "So, if I'm not Frodo, then who am I?" He buried his face in the mattress. He was still in the same body, but that's all that still remained of the former Frodo. He was the empty shell of the hobbit he once was. The ring had eaten his soul away, stolen his innocence. He was trapped in the infinite cold.
Suddenly, the icy chill returned to his left arm, along with the pain in the scarred stab wound, and Frodo let out a soft moan. No matter how hard Frodo had tried to explain this always present feeling of being frozen to Sam, Sam just couldn't seem to understand what Frodo meant. Sam didn't realize how severely Frodo had been changed by the quest. Of course, Sam knew what Frodo had gone through; he had seen it with his own two eyes. But he couldn't fully understand Frodo's internal agony.
Frodo wrapped the blankets tighter around his shivering body. He knew he couldn't go on like this for the rest of his life. He had accepted the choice to go to the Grey Havens. But, once again, he knew Sam wouldn't understand why Frodo had to make that choice. That's what really troubled Frodo. How was he going to tell the greatest friend he had ever known that he was leaving the Shire forever, never to return? "If only Sam could comprehend my feelings. Then this wouldn't be so hard." Frodo allowed the tears to come again.
When Frodo did finally drift off to sleep, he was haunted by his all to frequent nightmares. He woke in a cold sweat, clutching at the chain that no longer hung about his neck. "Mister Frodo! Are you all right?" Sam rushed over to Frodo's trembling form and took him in his arms. "There, there, Frodo. It's all right now. It's gone Frodo. That wicked gold band is gone. Your Sam's here now, and everything's going to be all right, I promise."
Frodo desperately wanted to scream, "No, Sam! Everything's not going to be all right! Nothing's ever going to go back to the way it was! I know it's gone, but I'm still here! I still feel it, Sam! It's so cold, Sam, so cold!" But he couldn't scream. He couldn't even speak through his violent sobs. All he could do was lie there in Sam's arms and weep.
I wish you'd see it in my face
But I'm caught up in those long lost days
And how can I then make you see
When I don't even know me
Following my footsteps home
This time I'm walking all alone
Trying hard to be someone
I don't even know
I feel like a shadow
Walking behind who you think I am
Just like my shadow
Wanting to see the sun again
I'm your shadow
And I'm lost
Just like my shadow