Disclaimer: Oh, you know the story. Just read Disclaimer from Chapter 1
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((The scene is Kain's living room or in other words, the Pillars. Umah is sitting on a couch with him))
Umah: Oh Kain, say romantic things to me.
Kain: (Pissed off face, which doesn't belong to me so it's copywrong)
Umah: Pleeeeeease...
Kain: Okay. Your eyes are bluer than the...water in my toilet.
Umah: T_T
Kain: Don't you dare T_T at me! Besides, um, uh, you have sexy...nostrils?
Umah: You are about as charming as Al Bundy.
(then Raziel cames running up to them)
Raziel: Hey Kain, there's something I've been wanting to ask you lately. Where do babies come from? In other words, where did I come from?
Kain: O__O'
Umah: O__O'
Raziel: Where did I come from?
Kain: Um, heh heh. Okay, when a daddy vampire and a mommy vampire love each other very much...
(And then Kain goes about explaining, in great detail, the machinations of sex. Keep in mind that right now, Raziel is only a very young kid vampire. Kain has now finished greatly describing sex)
Kain: ...and that technique is called the Crazy 8. Well, that about does it.
Raziel: That's really how I was made? Oh okay, that sounds pretty cool, I'll have to tell the others!
(then Raziel runs off. Umah is staring at Kain)
Kain: What?
Umah: I thought you said we were gonna tell him the truth whenever he asked.
Kain: Ah, we'll tell him when he's older. The truth would've scarred him for life at his age.
Umah: (death glare, which is probably also copywrong)
(Raziel runs back up to them)
Raziel: Hello!
Kain: I lied. Now I'll tell you the real way you were born. When a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much, and they want a kid,
they find a dead body and put part of their soul into the dead body, thus siring them. And that's how you were born.
Raziel: (incredibly disgusted face) Ewww!! Eww, you did that? Ewww!! Terrible mental images!! Eww, I'll never look at you the same way again! That's disgusting, I'll never do that!!
(then Raziel, deeply scarred and disgusted, crawled away)
Kain: Oh, good going Umah! Now we have ANOTHER weirdo son!
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And Now A Musical Interlude...
((Magnus walked out into the streets when another vampire ran past him))
Magnus: Yo there, what's the hurry?
Vampire: Storm's a brewin', it's gonna rain.
(Vampire ran off)
Magnus: Rain?
(then it starts raining, and despite it burning Magnus badly, he started tap- dancing)
Magnus: I'm burning in the rain
Just burning in the rain
What a burning sensation-AHHHH! IT BURNS LIKE A MOTHER-
I'm pissed again
I'm PISSED at the clouds
So dark up above-AHHH, IT BURNS US! IT BURNS US LIKE A MO' FO'!
'Cause I'm pissed off at heart
And I'm ready to mame-THAT DOESN'T RHYME, BUT WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, I'M FRAKIN' BURNING HERE! NO RESPECT!
(but Magnus kept tap-dancing anyway, even though the water was burning him.
Soon, Magnus was crawling on his belly)
Magnus: DAMN YOU RAIN!! I'M MELTING, I'M MELTING! OH WHAT A WORLD!
(System Administrator MortalSora: Sorry, but Magnus shall be unable to sing the rest of the song cause he's screaming bloody murder at the clouds and rain.
Thank you for your time and attention)
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(The scene is a conference room. In it are Kain, two soldiers in white, two soldiers in black, and a soldier in plaid)
Kain: Okay, I called this special meeting to figure out how the hell to get rid of all you weirdos. The first order of business is to introduce you all to one another.
(Kain points to the soldiers in white)
Kain: These are the annoying as piss Soldiers of Hope.
Soldier of Hope 1: I hope thank you for introducing us He of Fair Eyes!
Soldier of Hope 2: I hope yes thanky you, may the heavenly beams beam down tidings of joy onto your everlasting soul! I hope and may you some day be able to express free form and blessed art thou! I hope may you walk into a cosplay shop and dress like a pretty flower!!
Kain: ...right. Next, let's introduce the Soldiers of Despair.
(Kain points to the soldiers in black)
Soldier of Despair 1: (barely audible voice) Yes, despair is the only thing one can count on. Yes, everlasting darkness shall develop my soul, weave my soul into hopes and dreams and then when my soul is full of hope, darkness shall come
and kick my soul in its testicles.
Soldier of Despair 2: We don't even deserve an introduction. We are all hopelessness and dark. All we do is listen to Marilyn Manson.
Kain: G'damn, has Nosgoth always been populated by these f**king nutcases? And last but thankfully least, is the Soldier of Flarred-Nostrils Buggy- Eyes One- Buttuck-Bigger-Than-The-Other Totally Demented Speech Impaired or the Soldier of FNBEOBBTTOTDSP for short. Doesn't sound much shorter to me.
(Kain points at the soldier in plaid)
Soldier of FNBEOBBTTOTDSP: Ah, hakkahmahkahfahkah mahka nho dho sho hi!
Kain: O__O
Kain: AHEM, the first order of business is-
Soldier of Hope 1: (pointing and interrupting Kain) I hope hush all you people, He of Fair Eyes is talking!
Soldier of Hope 2: I hope yes, we must listen to the dear Kain and listen to all of the words the fair Kain has to say! I hope we must all try to be more like him, he is wondrous, he is fit to be a king, beauty radiates from his very existence, like a beautiful bird flying, flying in the wonderful, clear sky! I hope I wish I could be as majestic and lucrative as Kain, able to stand and speak on a level of impressive stasis such as Kain, Kain the Beautiful!!
Kain: O__O'
Kain: Um...
Soldier of Despair 1: (barely audible) Yes, we must all want to try to radiate like Kain, but the darkness of our souls is to heavy the burden, the darkness will suck us in, will enclose us, the darkness is what binds the truly chosen. I hope Kain yells at us, I hope he curses us out, I hope he damns us to oblivion.
Kain: I'm glad to hear you say that, CAUSE I'D LIKE TO DO TH-
Soldier of Despair 2: Yes, please, kill us. See my butt, it's the butt of darkness, just cut it off and take it.
Kain: CAN I SAY-
Soldier of Hope 1: I hope yes, we must all rally our forces, build to shrine for Kain aka He of Fair Eyes!
Soldier of FNBEOBBTTOTDSP: Kahkki fahkahkha sasahki sahsah kahfi!
Soldier of Hope 2: I hope we should build a bouquet of flowery goodness around Kain, we should dress him as a prince and worship his very essence, we should maybe even dress him as a princess, for his beauty exudes!
Kain: NOW WAIT A-
Soldier of Despair 2: We shall, we shall take our punishment in full force for all eternity, our darkness shall teach us the horrors of monogamy, the darkness in our souls must LIVE! And Kain shall take us there, to our darkest forms, to our deathly punity!
Kain: ARGHHH, YOU'RE ALL FRUIT BASKETS!
(then Kain runs out screaming as the five soldiers squabbled to each other about tress and pies and other things, never really noticing Kain's absence)
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I had really hoped to update sooner (in fact, I had all but that last sketch written out), but due to an incredible illness, I wasn't able to. But no more illness anymore, been healed! Hopefully I'll get the next set of sketches out by Christmas time!
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((The scene is Kain's living room or in other words, the Pillars. Umah is sitting on a couch with him))
Umah: Oh Kain, say romantic things to me.
Kain: (Pissed off face, which doesn't belong to me so it's copywrong)
Umah: Pleeeeeease...
Kain: Okay. Your eyes are bluer than the...water in my toilet.
Umah: T_T
Kain: Don't you dare T_T at me! Besides, um, uh, you have sexy...nostrils?
Umah: You are about as charming as Al Bundy.
(then Raziel cames running up to them)
Raziel: Hey Kain, there's something I've been wanting to ask you lately. Where do babies come from? In other words, where did I come from?
Kain: O__O'
Umah: O__O'
Raziel: Where did I come from?
Kain: Um, heh heh. Okay, when a daddy vampire and a mommy vampire love each other very much...
(And then Kain goes about explaining, in great detail, the machinations of sex. Keep in mind that right now, Raziel is only a very young kid vampire. Kain has now finished greatly describing sex)
Kain: ...and that technique is called the Crazy 8. Well, that about does it.
Raziel: That's really how I was made? Oh okay, that sounds pretty cool, I'll have to tell the others!
(then Raziel runs off. Umah is staring at Kain)
Kain: What?
Umah: I thought you said we were gonna tell him the truth whenever he asked.
Kain: Ah, we'll tell him when he's older. The truth would've scarred him for life at his age.
Umah: (death glare, which is probably also copywrong)
(Raziel runs back up to them)
Raziel: Hello!
Kain: I lied. Now I'll tell you the real way you were born. When a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much, and they want a kid,
they find a dead body and put part of their soul into the dead body, thus siring them. And that's how you were born.
Raziel: (incredibly disgusted face) Ewww!! Eww, you did that? Ewww!! Terrible mental images!! Eww, I'll never look at you the same way again! That's disgusting, I'll never do that!!
(then Raziel, deeply scarred and disgusted, crawled away)
Kain: Oh, good going Umah! Now we have ANOTHER weirdo son!
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And Now A Musical Interlude...
((Magnus walked out into the streets when another vampire ran past him))
Magnus: Yo there, what's the hurry?
Vampire: Storm's a brewin', it's gonna rain.
(Vampire ran off)
Magnus: Rain?
(then it starts raining, and despite it burning Magnus badly, he started tap- dancing)
Magnus: I'm burning in the rain
Just burning in the rain
What a burning sensation-AHHHH! IT BURNS LIKE A MOTHER-
I'm pissed again
I'm PISSED at the clouds
So dark up above-AHHH, IT BURNS US! IT BURNS US LIKE A MO' FO'!
'Cause I'm pissed off at heart
And I'm ready to mame-THAT DOESN'T RHYME, BUT WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, I'M FRAKIN' BURNING HERE! NO RESPECT!
(but Magnus kept tap-dancing anyway, even though the water was burning him.
Soon, Magnus was crawling on his belly)
Magnus: DAMN YOU RAIN!! I'M MELTING, I'M MELTING! OH WHAT A WORLD!
(System Administrator MortalSora: Sorry, but Magnus shall be unable to sing the rest of the song cause he's screaming bloody murder at the clouds and rain.
Thank you for your time and attention)
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(The scene is a conference room. In it are Kain, two soldiers in white, two soldiers in black, and a soldier in plaid)
Kain: Okay, I called this special meeting to figure out how the hell to get rid of all you weirdos. The first order of business is to introduce you all to one another.
(Kain points to the soldiers in white)
Kain: These are the annoying as piss Soldiers of Hope.
Soldier of Hope 1: I hope thank you for introducing us He of Fair Eyes!
Soldier of Hope 2: I hope yes thanky you, may the heavenly beams beam down tidings of joy onto your everlasting soul! I hope and may you some day be able to express free form and blessed art thou! I hope may you walk into a cosplay shop and dress like a pretty flower!!
Kain: ...right. Next, let's introduce the Soldiers of Despair.
(Kain points to the soldiers in black)
Soldier of Despair 1: (barely audible voice) Yes, despair is the only thing one can count on. Yes, everlasting darkness shall develop my soul, weave my soul into hopes and dreams and then when my soul is full of hope, darkness shall come
and kick my soul in its testicles.
Soldier of Despair 2: We don't even deserve an introduction. We are all hopelessness and dark. All we do is listen to Marilyn Manson.
Kain: G'damn, has Nosgoth always been populated by these f**king nutcases? And last but thankfully least, is the Soldier of Flarred-Nostrils Buggy- Eyes One- Buttuck-Bigger-Than-The-Other Totally Demented Speech Impaired or the Soldier of FNBEOBBTTOTDSP for short. Doesn't sound much shorter to me.
(Kain points at the soldier in plaid)
Soldier of FNBEOBBTTOTDSP: Ah, hakkahmahkahfahkah mahka nho dho sho hi!
Kain: O__O
Kain: AHEM, the first order of business is-
Soldier of Hope 1: (pointing and interrupting Kain) I hope hush all you people, He of Fair Eyes is talking!
Soldier of Hope 2: I hope yes, we must listen to the dear Kain and listen to all of the words the fair Kain has to say! I hope we must all try to be more like him, he is wondrous, he is fit to be a king, beauty radiates from his very existence, like a beautiful bird flying, flying in the wonderful, clear sky! I hope I wish I could be as majestic and lucrative as Kain, able to stand and speak on a level of impressive stasis such as Kain, Kain the Beautiful!!
Kain: O__O'
Kain: Um...
Soldier of Despair 1: (barely audible) Yes, we must all want to try to radiate like Kain, but the darkness of our souls is to heavy the burden, the darkness will suck us in, will enclose us, the darkness is what binds the truly chosen. I hope Kain yells at us, I hope he curses us out, I hope he damns us to oblivion.
Kain: I'm glad to hear you say that, CAUSE I'D LIKE TO DO TH-
Soldier of Despair 2: Yes, please, kill us. See my butt, it's the butt of darkness, just cut it off and take it.
Kain: CAN I SAY-
Soldier of Hope 1: I hope yes, we must all rally our forces, build to shrine for Kain aka He of Fair Eyes!
Soldier of FNBEOBBTTOTDSP: Kahkki fahkahkha sasahki sahsah kahfi!
Soldier of Hope 2: I hope we should build a bouquet of flowery goodness around Kain, we should dress him as a prince and worship his very essence, we should maybe even dress him as a princess, for his beauty exudes!
Kain: NOW WAIT A-
Soldier of Despair 2: We shall, we shall take our punishment in full force for all eternity, our darkness shall teach us the horrors of monogamy, the darkness in our souls must LIVE! And Kain shall take us there, to our darkest forms, to our deathly punity!
Kain: ARGHHH, YOU'RE ALL FRUIT BASKETS!
(then Kain runs out screaming as the five soldiers squabbled to each other about tress and pies and other things, never really noticing Kain's absence)
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I had really hoped to update sooner (in fact, I had all but that last sketch written out), but due to an incredible illness, I wasn't able to. But no more illness anymore, been healed! Hopefully I'll get the next set of sketches out by Christmas time!