Disclaimer: I do NOT own LoK or its characters
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(the scene is the Kain and Janos show where they help addicted people! Kain and Janos are sitting next to each other)
Janos: Hello, I'm Janos and that's Kain! And welcome to our show!
Kain: For the uninitiated, in our show we help recovering addicts in helping them quit their addictions!
Janos: Yes, that is true! And today's guest is.........Vorador!
(Vorador walks onto the set)
Kain: We can tell that Vorador is very excited to be here!
Vorador: Shove off! Let's just get this crap done with!
Kain: Okay Vorry, what's your addiction?
Vorador: I am addicted to dirty thoughts and I am trying to control them. I've had to many dirty thoughts lately.
Janos: So, what's the best you've done?
Vorador: I've gone two weeks without a single dirty thought.
Kain: (evil grin) You mean dirty thoughts like girls bouncing up and down?
Vorador: Shut up.
Kain: (evil grin) Or dirty thought like wet t-shirt contests?
Vorador: Shut up.
Kain: (evil grin) You know, this is fun!
(Janos is the nice guy so he tries to steer the conversation away)
Janos: I'm so proud of you for all your hard work Vorador!
Kain: (evil grin) Hehe. "Hard."
Vorador: Kain, I'll kick your ass if you don't shut up!
Kain: Anyway, we've brought over a special guest especially for this occasion so she can meet Vorador!
Janos: We brought over a special guest for a special guest? Why didn't you tell me?
Kain: I guess it's cause you're just not important enough. Come in our special guest!
(Ariel enters and she has just come back from a wet t-shirt contest)
Kain: Here is a wet shirted Ariel!
Ariel: Thank you for letting me come Kain.
Vorador: (muttering) I hate you Kain.
Janos: (sees Ariel) O__O
Kain: (evil grin) Oh Ariel, why don't you tell our special guest what your hobby is? Why don't you tell our special guest Vorador, who is trying to abandon his dirty thoughts addiction, what it is that you collect?
Ariel: Alright! (turns to Vorador) Wanna know why hobby?
Vorador: (shifty eyed) Yes.........
Ariel: Nobs!
Janos: O__O
Vorador: O__O
Kain: (evil grin) See, no innuendo in that.
Ariel: I collect nobs! Door nobs, TV nobs, car door nobs! I just love the texture of nobs!
Kain: (evil grin) The nobs you're talking about is spelled with a 'K.'
Ariel: Alright. I am just obsessed with nobs! In fact, I wish I had a nob!
Kain: (stares at Vorador with an evil grin)
Vorador: Kain, as soon as this show is over and there's no one else here except for you and me, I'll kick you square in your wibbly-wobblies.
Kain: (evil grin) Now Ariel, do you think Vorador is brave for struggling with losing this addiction?
Ariel: Oh yes! In fact, if bravery was a nob, then he'd have a great nob! I wish I had nobs!
Vorador: O__O
Janos: (nervous sweatdrop)
Ariel: How can you not like nobs!? You can twist and turn a nob! Vorador, do you have any nobs!?
Vorador: O__O Huh!?
Ariel: Do you have any nobs? I mean, your large mansion has got to have several nobs!
(Janos has decided to rest his head on his hand)
Vorador: Um.........uh.........yeah, I have more than one nob.
(upon hearing this, Janos' arm wiggles throwing him off balance)
Kain: (evil grin) I can honestly say this has been fun, but you'll have to leave now Ariel, time's up.
Ariel: Ooh, it is? Awww, I was so hoping to get a hold of Vorador's nobs!
Vorador: O__O
Kain: I'm sorry, but thanks for being here! Bye bye!
Ariel: Okay, bye bye! Next time you bring Vorador I can tell him about my obsession with melons!
Vorador: O__O
(Ariel leaves and Kain still has an evil grin on his face)
Kain: (evil grin) Now I'm sure that we have helped you Vorador.
Vorador: AFTER THE SHOW I SWEAR I'LL KICK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR WIBBLY- WOBBLIES!!
(then Vorador stormed out)
Kain: Heeheehee, that was fun!
Janos: Wow, I need to go home right quick!
Kain: Why?
Janos: To get my nobs! I also have a nob collection!
Kain: T__T
Janos: Me and Ariel have something in common: We both love nobs!
(Kain now picks up his chair and scoots about 5 feet away from Janos)
Kain: Now, let's continue.
Janos: Yes my homophobic friend!
Kain: Next up, we have fan-girls who need to get over their addiction with dead people!
Janos: Fan-girls obsessed with dead people?
Kain: Yep, they're obsessed with us!
Janos: But isn't that illegal?
Kain: Anyway, here's our second special guest, Raziel!
(Raziel runs onto the stage excited)
Raziel: Where's the walrus on the trampoline that you said was here!?
Kain: There is none.
Raziel: But I LOVE seeing walrusii on trampolines! What is here?
Janos: By the way Razzmataz, do you have any nobs I could have?
Raziel: O__T
Kain: Alright, let's let our next batch of people in.
Raziel: Don't tell me.........
(tons of fan-girls rush in and are all excited)
HealerAriel: Oh my god, it's Razzy!
Angel-chan2: It's Razzy, we get to squeeze him!!
Raziel: Oh no! Kain you utter twinky-bastard! I hate fan-girls, they squeeze my eyeballs out!
Kain: (evil grin)
AquaSword: (evil laugh) It's Kain! He's mine!
Dark-Sephy: No, Kain's MINE!
Kain: (evil grin) Oh Janos, why don't you tell these fan-girls why they're here? As a favor?
Janos: Fan-girls, you are here because you need to get over your addiction to us.
Angel-chan2: WHAT!?
Janos: You see, we're dead. So if you hug us and squeeze us and are in love
with us, it is illegal cause we're dead.
AquaSword: So what!?
HealerAriel: Yeah, so what if you're dead! We won't let such a small and insignificant problem like that come between our love!!
Janos: But us being dead is a BIG problem!
Dark-Sephy: You know, I think Janos is TRYING to stop us! Let's get him!
Janos: (small, squeaky voice) Uh-oh.
Fan-girls: Let's get him!!
(so then the fan-girls run after Janos and HealerAriel and Angel-chan2 snatch Raziel as well hoping no one would notice. 3 hours later Kain is in the studio with a satisfied evil grin and Janos is in all sorts of bandages and has all sorts of broken bones)
Kain: This show's fun! Well, it looks like we've run outta time, so until next time.........
Janos: Owie.........
Kain: Heh, sometimes I amaze even myself.
Janos: That's the last time I do a favor for you.
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(the scene is a kindergarten room, devoid of little kids. The kindergarten teacher is Rahab.........)
Kain VO: Who, unfortunately, can't tell his balls from his elbows.
(.........and Rahab also happens to be rather smart.........)
Kain VO: Actually, he doesn't even have a hint of a brain, so it would be better to decapitate him, scoop out the insides, and use his head as a vase.
(.........Kain, do you have to be bitter about everyone? Or are you just racist?)
Kain: Hey, I resent that! I am not racist, I hate everyone regardless of other issues!
(.........now let's get on with this. You see, right now the kindergarten class is learning about positive thinking, so Rahab, who is the teacher, has invited a guest speaker over who's known as Positive Dumah. In other words, Dumah is a positive-thinking counselor)
Kain VO: Not to mention a total dickhead.
(Kain, do you want to be killed and served in the school's cafeteria?)
Kain VO: No.
(then shut up! You do live with Umah you know, who, by the way, is training to become a dominatrix)
Kain VO: What!?
(good. Now let's get on with the next of this disturbing skit. Rahab is sitting at the desk thinking of what other activities the little kids would do after Dumah's Positivity speech. Right now the kids are at lunch. Dumah enters and he's wearing a badger costume)
Dumah: Hey, it's me, Dumah the Positive Badger!!
Rahab: Ah, welcome Mr. Dumah, I understand that you're gonna give your positivity speech?
Dumah: Yessiree, and why? Because I'm one positive badger! I'm so positive that if someone beat my tongue with a croquet hoop, I'd just laugh!~
Rahab: .........I guess that's a good sign. Listen Mr. Dumah the Positive Badger,
we will go ahead and rehearse your little speech before the kids get here. I will tell you the subject and you'll tell the positive side-effects, thus giving the little kids hope. You got that?
Dumah: Well, shucks-aroo, I do! Hehehe!
Rahab: Okay, our first subject is Death. (Rahab now begins talking as if the kids were in the room) Death happens to everybody and is very often thought of in a negative light, as if there's no hope. But that's why we have Dumah the Positive Badger here to help us! Surely, Dumah there are positive things about death!
Dumah: (also talks as if the kids are in the room) Absolutely Rahab. For example, death may seem negative, but think of all the good things about it! For example, you might inherit A LOT of money and become extremely rich.........
Rahab: (nods head in agreement)
Dumah: .........or you might find release from restrictions.........
Rahab: (nods head)
Dumah: .........or now once the dead person is buried, you can visit their grave everyday and talk to them and always be able to visit them and re-live memories.........
Rahab: (nods in agreement)
Dumah: .........or, best of all, you can have sex with the dead bodies!! C'mon, is there anything better than sexually assaulting a dead person!? If so, I wanna know what!
Rahab: O__O
Dumah: Yes, now that they're dead you can have sex with them all you want!
Rahab: (nervous cough of disbelief) Ahem.........uh.........um.........let's change the subject. Let's say your house has been destroyed.
Dumah: Another good one! There are many positive things about that! For example, now you can live in a tent in the great outdoors as Mother Nature intended.........
Rahab: (nods)
Dumah: .........or you can be like Walden and discover all the beautiful things about nature and keep it from being despoiled.........
Rahab: (nods)
Dumah: .........or you can wonder around the graveyards and hang out with the dead people before you have sex with them!
Rahab: T__T Um, Dumah, can you please STOP TALKING ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH DEAD PEOPLE!! It's revolting!
Dumah: But it's romantic!
Rahab: There's nothing romantic about having sex with dead people!
Dumah: Oh come on, people in Nosgothian south probably do it all the time!
Rahab: T__T
Dumah: I know! I can sing a song! It's called "Me and My Dead Person Love."
Don't you think that would be cool?
Rahab: Oh my god, you sick bastard!! Security!
(Concept of a Demon and an android named KOS-MOS enter)
Rahab: This guys feeling on dead people!
COAD: You sick weirdo!
(and so KOS-MOS and COAD starts beating Dumah the Positive Badger over the head with billy-clubs and they drag him out)
Rahab: (while flexing his muscles and bending out his elbows) Thank god for
that, I was about to have to smack him with my balls!
Kain VO: See, I told you he's retarded.
(Shut up)
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Wow, this chapter had a lot to do with dead people! I didn't even plan it to be that way either! It just sort of happened. Oh, and in the next chapter of weird skits, Raziel has just received the Shift ability from Melchiah then later Raziel tries to order a Super-Sized meal at McDonald's and if this isn't too long then the ToothFairy will makes its appearance! And before I go, I meant to do Review-Response last chapter but forgot so I'll do 2 chapters worth now.
Chapter 6:
AquaSword: Yeah, everyone like's the cartoon Kain! He looks kinda weird as a cartoon in Defiance and when he shifts through things, he kinda tap- dances through them. Weird but hilarious to watch.
Concept of a Demon: How'd you guess? One of the best parts of the movie just had to be done here!
Dark-Sephy: Yes, that kid somehow getting trapped inside the toy machine was the inspiration! How in the world can you get inside one of those machines anyhow?
Angel-chan2: I am glad you really seem to like this! The funny thing is, he really says "Fear the tube!" when you put in the cheat.
HealerAriel: Ooh, a pretty famous author has reviewed my fic? Thanks! Kain is one of those people that you can enjoy evilness from!
Chapter 7:
AquaSword: Yep, Moebius is REALLY bad a rapping. But you know, to be a rapper you really DO seem to only have to say stuff that makes no sense! Thanks for the review!
Angel-chan2: Yay, another returning reviewer! I don't know where I come up with this stuff, I think I mostly get inspiration from TV. Oh, and the superheroes will return!
HealerAriel: Thank you, you're probably the fourth or fifth person that's told me that. Yep, I'm an under appreciated author (mocks tears of sadness). I myself thinks that I get enough reviews though, I'm satisfied. About I Love Meat! And Kain Presents, I'll update them when I can but I've currently hit a creative snag. Thanks for reviewing!
Concept of a Demon: Ah, my faithful insane COAD who reviews just about everything LoK thing I put up, thanks again for reviewing! Oh, and I thought you'd enjoy beating up Dumah with a billy-club!
Well, now that I've got that out of the way, there's only one more thing to do. And that's something little ad for you to read to remember!
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(The scene is a Chinese Restaurant named Shoegun. Inside the various lieutenants are cooking various things for various vampires)
Marcus VO: Why don't you stop in at Marcus' Shoegun! There's tons of exciting food to eat at my Chinese restaurant!
(the scene shifts to Melchiah. There's a plate on the table that he behind and tons of vampires are watching him juggle knives while simultaneous cutting food with the knives like Chinese chefs would do)
Melchiah: (smart looking smile)
(unfortunately the smart looking smile doesn't last long as he ends up cutting his fingers off)
Vampire Dean Earwicker: (points to Melchiah's fingers) Ooh, chicken fingers!
(then we cut to Dumah whose throwing eggs in the air and trying to catch them with his spatula. He is entertaining a happy vampire family. Then an egg misses the spatula and Dumah snaps)
Dumah: Egg, you stupid SON OF A ***** *** **** in a ***** bi***y bas**** in a nutshell with **** ****** by way of **** in a fu**ing dippy-sh**y punky little ***** by some zon****!
Vampire Father: What's a zon****?
Vampire Mother: (shrugs)
(then the scene shifts to Zephon. He's grilling a.........kebab?)
Zephon: Yep!
(but a kebab isn't Chinese)
Zephon: Oh. I screwed up!! Waaaaah! OH WHAT A WORLD!
(then Zephon falls on the grill's fire and Zephon's on fire)
Zephon: Whoa, sonofabitch, I'm on fire! Ahh!
Marcus: Ahem, uh, eh, well just come to Marcus' Shoegun Chinese Restaurant!
It's the best Chinese restaurant in town!
Random Vampire: This food sucks!
Marcus: Okay, it's the ONLY Chinese restaurant.
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This turned out longer than expected. Please review!
(the scene is the Kain and Janos show where they help addicted people! Kain and Janos are sitting next to each other)
Janos: Hello, I'm Janos and that's Kain! And welcome to our show!
Kain: For the uninitiated, in our show we help recovering addicts in helping them quit their addictions!
Janos: Yes, that is true! And today's guest is.........Vorador!
(Vorador walks onto the set)
Kain: We can tell that Vorador is very excited to be here!
Vorador: Shove off! Let's just get this crap done with!
Kain: Okay Vorry, what's your addiction?
Vorador: I am addicted to dirty thoughts and I am trying to control them. I've had to many dirty thoughts lately.
Janos: So, what's the best you've done?
Vorador: I've gone two weeks without a single dirty thought.
Kain: (evil grin) You mean dirty thoughts like girls bouncing up and down?
Vorador: Shut up.
Kain: (evil grin) Or dirty thought like wet t-shirt contests?
Vorador: Shut up.
Kain: (evil grin) You know, this is fun!
(Janos is the nice guy so he tries to steer the conversation away)
Janos: I'm so proud of you for all your hard work Vorador!
Kain: (evil grin) Hehe. "Hard."
Vorador: Kain, I'll kick your ass if you don't shut up!
Kain: Anyway, we've brought over a special guest especially for this occasion so she can meet Vorador!
Janos: We brought over a special guest for a special guest? Why didn't you tell me?
Kain: I guess it's cause you're just not important enough. Come in our special guest!
(Ariel enters and she has just come back from a wet t-shirt contest)
Kain: Here is a wet shirted Ariel!
Ariel: Thank you for letting me come Kain.
Vorador: (muttering) I hate you Kain.
Janos: (sees Ariel) O__O
Kain: (evil grin) Oh Ariel, why don't you tell our special guest what your hobby is? Why don't you tell our special guest Vorador, who is trying to abandon his dirty thoughts addiction, what it is that you collect?
Ariel: Alright! (turns to Vorador) Wanna know why hobby?
Vorador: (shifty eyed) Yes.........
Ariel: Nobs!
Janos: O__O
Vorador: O__O
Kain: (evil grin) See, no innuendo in that.
Ariel: I collect nobs! Door nobs, TV nobs, car door nobs! I just love the texture of nobs!
Kain: (evil grin) The nobs you're talking about is spelled with a 'K.'
Ariel: Alright. I am just obsessed with nobs! In fact, I wish I had a nob!
Kain: (stares at Vorador with an evil grin)
Vorador: Kain, as soon as this show is over and there's no one else here except for you and me, I'll kick you square in your wibbly-wobblies.
Kain: (evil grin) Now Ariel, do you think Vorador is brave for struggling with losing this addiction?
Ariel: Oh yes! In fact, if bravery was a nob, then he'd have a great nob! I wish I had nobs!
Vorador: O__O
Janos: (nervous sweatdrop)
Ariel: How can you not like nobs!? You can twist and turn a nob! Vorador, do you have any nobs!?
Vorador: O__O Huh!?
Ariel: Do you have any nobs? I mean, your large mansion has got to have several nobs!
(Janos has decided to rest his head on his hand)
Vorador: Um.........uh.........yeah, I have more than one nob.
(upon hearing this, Janos' arm wiggles throwing him off balance)
Kain: (evil grin) I can honestly say this has been fun, but you'll have to leave now Ariel, time's up.
Ariel: Ooh, it is? Awww, I was so hoping to get a hold of Vorador's nobs!
Vorador: O__O
Kain: I'm sorry, but thanks for being here! Bye bye!
Ariel: Okay, bye bye! Next time you bring Vorador I can tell him about my obsession with melons!
Vorador: O__O
(Ariel leaves and Kain still has an evil grin on his face)
Kain: (evil grin) Now I'm sure that we have helped you Vorador.
Vorador: AFTER THE SHOW I SWEAR I'LL KICK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR WIBBLY- WOBBLIES!!
(then Vorador stormed out)
Kain: Heeheehee, that was fun!
Janos: Wow, I need to go home right quick!
Kain: Why?
Janos: To get my nobs! I also have a nob collection!
Kain: T__T
Janos: Me and Ariel have something in common: We both love nobs!
(Kain now picks up his chair and scoots about 5 feet away from Janos)
Kain: Now, let's continue.
Janos: Yes my homophobic friend!
Kain: Next up, we have fan-girls who need to get over their addiction with dead people!
Janos: Fan-girls obsessed with dead people?
Kain: Yep, they're obsessed with us!
Janos: But isn't that illegal?
Kain: Anyway, here's our second special guest, Raziel!
(Raziel runs onto the stage excited)
Raziel: Where's the walrus on the trampoline that you said was here!?
Kain: There is none.
Raziel: But I LOVE seeing walrusii on trampolines! What is here?
Janos: By the way Razzmataz, do you have any nobs I could have?
Raziel: O__T
Kain: Alright, let's let our next batch of people in.
Raziel: Don't tell me.........
(tons of fan-girls rush in and are all excited)
HealerAriel: Oh my god, it's Razzy!
Angel-chan2: It's Razzy, we get to squeeze him!!
Raziel: Oh no! Kain you utter twinky-bastard! I hate fan-girls, they squeeze my eyeballs out!
Kain: (evil grin)
AquaSword: (evil laugh) It's Kain! He's mine!
Dark-Sephy: No, Kain's MINE!
Kain: (evil grin) Oh Janos, why don't you tell these fan-girls why they're here? As a favor?
Janos: Fan-girls, you are here because you need to get over your addiction to us.
Angel-chan2: WHAT!?
Janos: You see, we're dead. So if you hug us and squeeze us and are in love
with us, it is illegal cause we're dead.
AquaSword: So what!?
HealerAriel: Yeah, so what if you're dead! We won't let such a small and insignificant problem like that come between our love!!
Janos: But us being dead is a BIG problem!
Dark-Sephy: You know, I think Janos is TRYING to stop us! Let's get him!
Janos: (small, squeaky voice) Uh-oh.
Fan-girls: Let's get him!!
(so then the fan-girls run after Janos and HealerAriel and Angel-chan2 snatch Raziel as well hoping no one would notice. 3 hours later Kain is in the studio with a satisfied evil grin and Janos is in all sorts of bandages and has all sorts of broken bones)
Kain: This show's fun! Well, it looks like we've run outta time, so until next time.........
Janos: Owie.........
Kain: Heh, sometimes I amaze even myself.
Janos: That's the last time I do a favor for you.
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_________________________________________________________________
(the scene is a kindergarten room, devoid of little kids. The kindergarten teacher is Rahab.........)
Kain VO: Who, unfortunately, can't tell his balls from his elbows.
(.........and Rahab also happens to be rather smart.........)
Kain VO: Actually, he doesn't even have a hint of a brain, so it would be better to decapitate him, scoop out the insides, and use his head as a vase.
(.........Kain, do you have to be bitter about everyone? Or are you just racist?)
Kain: Hey, I resent that! I am not racist, I hate everyone regardless of other issues!
(.........now let's get on with this. You see, right now the kindergarten class is learning about positive thinking, so Rahab, who is the teacher, has invited a guest speaker over who's known as Positive Dumah. In other words, Dumah is a positive-thinking counselor)
Kain VO: Not to mention a total dickhead.
(Kain, do you want to be killed and served in the school's cafeteria?)
Kain VO: No.
(then shut up! You do live with Umah you know, who, by the way, is training to become a dominatrix)
Kain VO: What!?
(good. Now let's get on with the next of this disturbing skit. Rahab is sitting at the desk thinking of what other activities the little kids would do after Dumah's Positivity speech. Right now the kids are at lunch. Dumah enters and he's wearing a badger costume)
Dumah: Hey, it's me, Dumah the Positive Badger!!
Rahab: Ah, welcome Mr. Dumah, I understand that you're gonna give your positivity speech?
Dumah: Yessiree, and why? Because I'm one positive badger! I'm so positive that if someone beat my tongue with a croquet hoop, I'd just laugh!~
Rahab: .........I guess that's a good sign. Listen Mr. Dumah the Positive Badger,
we will go ahead and rehearse your little speech before the kids get here. I will tell you the subject and you'll tell the positive side-effects, thus giving the little kids hope. You got that?
Dumah: Well, shucks-aroo, I do! Hehehe!
Rahab: Okay, our first subject is Death. (Rahab now begins talking as if the kids were in the room) Death happens to everybody and is very often thought of in a negative light, as if there's no hope. But that's why we have Dumah the Positive Badger here to help us! Surely, Dumah there are positive things about death!
Dumah: (also talks as if the kids are in the room) Absolutely Rahab. For example, death may seem negative, but think of all the good things about it! For example, you might inherit A LOT of money and become extremely rich.........
Rahab: (nods head in agreement)
Dumah: .........or you might find release from restrictions.........
Rahab: (nods head)
Dumah: .........or now once the dead person is buried, you can visit their grave everyday and talk to them and always be able to visit them and re-live memories.........
Rahab: (nods in agreement)
Dumah: .........or, best of all, you can have sex with the dead bodies!! C'mon, is there anything better than sexually assaulting a dead person!? If so, I wanna know what!
Rahab: O__O
Dumah: Yes, now that they're dead you can have sex with them all you want!
Rahab: (nervous cough of disbelief) Ahem.........uh.........um.........let's change the subject. Let's say your house has been destroyed.
Dumah: Another good one! There are many positive things about that! For example, now you can live in a tent in the great outdoors as Mother Nature intended.........
Rahab: (nods)
Dumah: .........or you can be like Walden and discover all the beautiful things about nature and keep it from being despoiled.........
Rahab: (nods)
Dumah: .........or you can wonder around the graveyards and hang out with the dead people before you have sex with them!
Rahab: T__T Um, Dumah, can you please STOP TALKING ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH DEAD PEOPLE!! It's revolting!
Dumah: But it's romantic!
Rahab: There's nothing romantic about having sex with dead people!
Dumah: Oh come on, people in Nosgothian south probably do it all the time!
Rahab: T__T
Dumah: I know! I can sing a song! It's called "Me and My Dead Person Love."
Don't you think that would be cool?
Rahab: Oh my god, you sick bastard!! Security!
(Concept of a Demon and an android named KOS-MOS enter)
Rahab: This guys feeling on dead people!
COAD: You sick weirdo!
(and so KOS-MOS and COAD starts beating Dumah the Positive Badger over the head with billy-clubs and they drag him out)
Rahab: (while flexing his muscles and bending out his elbows) Thank god for
that, I was about to have to smack him with my balls!
Kain VO: See, I told you he's retarded.
(Shut up)
_________________________________________________________________
Wow, this chapter had a lot to do with dead people! I didn't even plan it to be that way either! It just sort of happened. Oh, and in the next chapter of weird skits, Raziel has just received the Shift ability from Melchiah then later Raziel tries to order a Super-Sized meal at McDonald's and if this isn't too long then the ToothFairy will makes its appearance! And before I go, I meant to do Review-Response last chapter but forgot so I'll do 2 chapters worth now.
Chapter 6:
AquaSword: Yeah, everyone like's the cartoon Kain! He looks kinda weird as a cartoon in Defiance and when he shifts through things, he kinda tap- dances through them. Weird but hilarious to watch.
Concept of a Demon: How'd you guess? One of the best parts of the movie just had to be done here!
Dark-Sephy: Yes, that kid somehow getting trapped inside the toy machine was the inspiration! How in the world can you get inside one of those machines anyhow?
Angel-chan2: I am glad you really seem to like this! The funny thing is, he really says "Fear the tube!" when you put in the cheat.
HealerAriel: Ooh, a pretty famous author has reviewed my fic? Thanks! Kain is one of those people that you can enjoy evilness from!
Chapter 7:
AquaSword: Yep, Moebius is REALLY bad a rapping. But you know, to be a rapper you really DO seem to only have to say stuff that makes no sense! Thanks for the review!
Angel-chan2: Yay, another returning reviewer! I don't know where I come up with this stuff, I think I mostly get inspiration from TV. Oh, and the superheroes will return!
HealerAriel: Thank you, you're probably the fourth or fifth person that's told me that. Yep, I'm an under appreciated author (mocks tears of sadness). I myself thinks that I get enough reviews though, I'm satisfied. About I Love Meat! And Kain Presents, I'll update them when I can but I've currently hit a creative snag. Thanks for reviewing!
Concept of a Demon: Ah, my faithful insane COAD who reviews just about everything LoK thing I put up, thanks again for reviewing! Oh, and I thought you'd enjoy beating up Dumah with a billy-club!
Well, now that I've got that out of the way, there's only one more thing to do. And that's something little ad for you to read to remember!
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(The scene is a Chinese Restaurant named Shoegun. Inside the various lieutenants are cooking various things for various vampires)
Marcus VO: Why don't you stop in at Marcus' Shoegun! There's tons of exciting food to eat at my Chinese restaurant!
(the scene shifts to Melchiah. There's a plate on the table that he behind and tons of vampires are watching him juggle knives while simultaneous cutting food with the knives like Chinese chefs would do)
Melchiah: (smart looking smile)
(unfortunately the smart looking smile doesn't last long as he ends up cutting his fingers off)
Vampire Dean Earwicker: (points to Melchiah's fingers) Ooh, chicken fingers!
(then we cut to Dumah whose throwing eggs in the air and trying to catch them with his spatula. He is entertaining a happy vampire family. Then an egg misses the spatula and Dumah snaps)
Dumah: Egg, you stupid SON OF A ***** *** **** in a ***** bi***y bas**** in a nutshell with **** ****** by way of **** in a fu**ing dippy-sh**y punky little ***** by some zon****!
Vampire Father: What's a zon****?
Vampire Mother: (shrugs)
(then the scene shifts to Zephon. He's grilling a.........kebab?)
Zephon: Yep!
(but a kebab isn't Chinese)
Zephon: Oh. I screwed up!! Waaaaah! OH WHAT A WORLD!
(then Zephon falls on the grill's fire and Zephon's on fire)
Zephon: Whoa, sonofabitch, I'm on fire! Ahh!
Marcus: Ahem, uh, eh, well just come to Marcus' Shoegun Chinese Restaurant!
It's the best Chinese restaurant in town!
Random Vampire: This food sucks!
Marcus: Okay, it's the ONLY Chinese restaurant.
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This turned out longer than expected. Please review!