MortalSora: Welcome to the Season 2 disclaimer! It's the exact damn thing as Season 1's only now it's the second one!

Raziel: Huh?

We open up our scene at the Pillars where Dumah, Zephon, Rahab, and Turel are all playing some sort of weird card game. Turel faced Dumah.

Turel: Have you got any 3's?

Dumah: Go Fish.

So Turel punched Zephon in the face and Zephon just kept looking at his cards afterwards. Dumah looked to Rahab.

Dumah: Hey Rahab, you got any seventy-levens?

Rahab: Go Fish.

So Dumah then punched Zephon in the face and Zephon was alright with it. Apparently it was a rule. Don't ask me what the hell kind of card game they're playing cause I don't know. Just then they heard what sounded like a woman's scream.

Kain's Voice: G'aahhhhhhhh!

Zephon: The hell was that!?

Then Kain came running into view quickly and was standing in front of the four lieutenants with a look of worry on his face so much as if you thought he had just created a paradox that led to stepping into a Hylden trap! They obviously noticed his worried look.

Rahab: Kain, what's wrong?

Kain: I HAVE A GRAY HAIR!!

They all just blinked at him. They would have shed an anime sweatdrop, but that would burn them and just make them look stupid. Except Dumah. He already looks stupid.

Rahab: Um...Kain...I don't know how to tell you this but...all of your hair is white.

Kain: G'ahhhhhhhhhh!

Turel: Yeah, and you shed at an incredible rate!

What Turel said is true, because they used to have a nice red couch, but now it's entirely covered in white vampire hair.

Rahab: That stuff's hell to get out.

Dumah: I think you're getting old.

Kain: No!! No!!! I'll show you!

So Kain stomped away to get a little mirror. He looked into the mirror and noticed something: he has a wrinkle! Hell, he has about 20 wrinkles! Hells Bells, he's almost nothing BUT a wrinkle! How could he already be old!?

Kain: I've been a vampire for at least a millennium, but it feels like at least only 1000 years!

But Kain knew what he had to do. Hey, being old isn't so bad...

Anyway, the lieutenants were still having fun playing their stupid little game. Zephon was starting to tire of it though.

Dumah: (to Rahab) You got any...Bs?

Rahab: Go Fish.

So Dumah punched Zephon's face. Then Zephon caught onto something.

Zephon: Hey, Dumah, there are no letters in Go Fish! What do you think I am, some sort of an idiot!?

Dumah: Yes.

Zephon: Oh, okay. Glad I cleared that up.

They heard Kain coming, but weren't prepared for what they saw. Kain was wearing nothing but a really big diaper. This, of course, horrified everyone.

Dumah: Woah, woah, woah!

Turel: G'ehhh!

Rahab: The hell!?

Zephon: Ooh, I want a diaper too!

Kain: Well, I'm acting my age! I'm old, so I get to wear a diaper again!

Rahab: (nervously) Heh heh heh, alright.

Kain: So go on playing your game. Forgive me if my teeth fall out though.

Turel: (nervous) Um...yeah.

So they continued playing their game with Kain standing there, but after a few minutes, they stopped. They smelled something funny. Kain blushed.

Kain: Oops! Hehehe, my bad, looks like I'm incontinent. Who wants to change me?

The four vampire lieutenants screamed in mortal terror and ran the hell away. Kain just looked at where they just were.

Kain: Hey, where'd everyone go! Isn't anyone gonna change my diaper!? If you don't, I'll talk about my diaper!

Total silence ensued.

Kain: Hm. Wonder why everyone ran away.

No offense, but sometimes, old people suck. And like good little lieutenants, they called a nursing home for Kain. Aww, how sweet. Except for Dumah, he's an idiot.

Well, it looks like the scene is the Pillars of Nosgoth. Kain is staring at YOU, the readers. He's finally figured out that this is all a fanfic. Actually, this is Kain's fanfic. Vorador and Janos come skipping into the scene, excited.

Vorador: Hey, guess what Kain? My butt is green!

Kain: Shhh!

Janos: What?

Kain: I invited you two here to know that this isn't real. This is really just a

fanfic.

Vorador: ...we're on TV? You invited us on TV! Thanks you Kain! That means

they can see us!?

Kain: Actually, it's a fic.

But Vorador and Janos were too excited about being 'celebrities.' Vorador ran up to YOU and turned around.

Vorador: Hey! You can see my butt! You can see my butt!

Janos was so excited that he ran up to Kain, hugged him then kissed him on the lips.

Janos: You invited us on TV! I love you!

Vorador: The readers can see my butt! The readers can see my butt!

Kain just growled and mentally kicked himself in the head. He KNEW it was a bad idea to lets these two goobers know about this. Now let's head to the next skit before Vorador shows his butt to YOU again.

Note: I had a little help with this skit, and this skit has a special guest, so I just thought I'd let you know.

The scene is the now infamous Kain & Janos addiction show!! Though today, they're also doing an interview! Kain and Janos are sitting next to each other as usual.

Janos: Hello everyone, and welcome to another exciting addition of the Kain and

Janos show!

Kain: Yeah! And also, I'm better than Janos, he's a sissy!

Janos: No I'm not.

Kain: Yes you are, you use brill cream on your hair. Hah, what a sissy!

Janos: I will have you know that my hair makes me look like a dashing young stud!

Kain: Heh, you just look like a sissy!

Janos: You know, we never really get to talk much before we do stuff. How about we have a nice chat. What kind of dream job have you always wanted?

Kain: Me? I've always wanted to conquer Nosgoth. And I have! Huzzah! What about you?

Janos: I've always wanted to be a dick! You know, a private eye; a Dick Tracey?

Kain: Ahahahaha! You wanted to be a dick! Ahahahaha!

Janos: (sighs) You perverted, empty-headed moron. Let's get our first guest out here. Our first guest is a Zephonim.

Kain: Hey wait, aren't all Zephonim's complete idiots in that they take after Zephon?

Janos: Of course not. That's just an unfortunate stereotype.

So now a Zephonim named Apalognia walks onto the K & J stage. He's wearing a shirt saying "I'm With Stupid" with an arrow pointing up to himself. Janos is still hoping that the all-Zephonims being stupid thing is only a stereoype.

Oddly Named Zephonim Apalognia: Help. I'm, addicted to breathing.

'Dear God no. They are all stupid,' though Janos, but he decided to be polite.

Janos: Ah, this is a problem.

Oddly Named Zephonim Apalognia: I know. I breathe practically all the time. I tried to go cold turkey once, but after thirty seconds I passed out on the floor.

Kain gave an evil, Grinchy-grin.

Kain: Ah well, if you stop breathing, it'll get better.

Janos: Um, I really don't think this is a good idea.

Kain: Aw, quiet Janos. (to Apalognia) It's a good idea, trust me.

Oddly Named Zephonim Apalognia: Ok.

5 minutes later...

Kain: There, now don't you feel better?

Oddly Named Zephonim Apalognia: XX

Janos: Oh my Elder God!

Kain: (talking to stage prop guy, who is Moloch) Open the corpse hatch!

Janos: The hell!? (glares at Kain)

Kain: What!??

Janos just continues staring at Kain, mouth agape. Kain honestly can't figure out what he's done that's been so bad.

Kain: Well, today's show was short.

Janos: Hold on a minute! We're not done yet! We're also gonna interview someone!

Kain: Hey, I wasn't told!

Janos: Cause you're not important enough. Come on out, our special guest star, Remington!

Then a VERY feminine-looking male vampire came and sat on an extra chair. Remington has decided to dress up for the occasion, so he's wearing tons of glitter on his fingernails and eyelashes and he has his eyelids colored blue and is wearing plastic heels. He got, what he calls, beautiful sparkling fingernails and a halter-top. Like I said, Remington is very feminine. Kain looked at Remington, licked his hand and then smoothed back his hair.

Kain: (to Remington) Hey there hot chick.

Remington: (clearly insulted) I'm not a-

Kain: How about I 'impale' you with the 'Soul Reaver?'

Janos: Eww, Kain's trying to be sexy!

Remington: You sick bastard!!

Now that Kain had actually heard Remington's voice, Kain shrieked in recognition.

Kain: You're a woman with a man's voice? You're Ru Paul!!

Remington: I AM NOT A WOMAN DAMMIT!!

Kain: What, so you're a cross dresser?

Remington: NO!!

Kain: So you're a man that looks like a chick. Oh, I get it, you had a sex change.

Remington: Grrrrr! (to Janos) If Kain doesn't stop I'll shove a tuba up his ass!

Janos: (to Kain) No Kain, he's always been a male, he's just kinda feminine.

Kain finally realized what was going on. Realization dawned upon him, then he grinned and nudged Janos' shoulder.

Kain: Hey, Janos. (Kain pointed at Remington) Dude looks like a lady. Ahahahaha!

Remington was furious. His well mascara face flew a bright red. He then pulled out a pencil.

Remington: I have a good mind to stab you in the butt with this and draw a smiley face!!

Kain: You can't, you'd mess up your pretty shoes.

Then Remington punched Kain, knocking himself out. Then Remington sat down next to Janos and crossed his legs.

Remington: Well, anything else you want to add?

Janos: (blooddrop) Um, eh, we really need to stop when our cast members are pimp-slapped by a vampire.

Then Janos turns to YOU.

Janos: Thank you for watching the Kain & Janos show. Tune in next time when we interview a cross-dressing lesbian hooker with a mole on her leg and a flared nostril. Bye bye! (turns to Remington) Please don't hurt me!

Well well well, I think this turned out pretty well. First I want to shout out 2 very special thanks. First is to MarinasMyst, who co-wrote a certain part. She wrote in about the vampire who had a breathing addiction. Second, I'd like to very special thank Ratface for letting me borrow Remington (at least I'm pretty sure it was Ratface). On a second note, what ever happened to Ratface. First I can't find the fic Kain vs. Vorador, and now I can't even find his ID! But of course, thank everyone for reading. Review time!

HealerAriel: Yes, it's great to have your favorite characters dumbasized. Don't know why, I agree, but it is satisfying. And you can look forward to me making an idiot out of Kain for a loooooong time!

Marina'sMyst: Ah, Vonnis is another Vorador! Ahhhh, they're multiplying!! And yep, I know that's what a Moebius Strip is. That's why I made the pun. The first time I heard the word, though, I had NO idea what to think!

CoaD: I like your shortened name! Easier to write. Oh, and for some reason I keep turning Dumah into a woman, I don't know why.

Marina Hawksmoor: Yeah, um, okay. It's good to know that 'multiple' people think my story is good, especially insane ones! Yay!

Tomlette: Yes, his Moebius Strip service is rather...disturbing. Heh, I love Razielia, I guess it's good she/he/it feels that way. I'm afraid this will give her ideas though...oh, and I think I might have called you a 'man' in a review for your Ad Libs fic, sorry about the gender confusion, didn't mean to. (I know you probably don't mind but I thought I'd apologize anyway)

Aquasword: Yeah, I like the name Razzmatazz! I think I'll use it more often in conversations! "Your fashion is so last Razzmatazz!" "Excuse me, but you've got a bit of Razzmatazz on your cheek." "Old McDonald don't got Razzmatazz!" I shall write on!!

Varewulf: It's okay if you didn't review earlier, you reviewed now! I am trying to write more but it's getting difficult, but I'll try!

Popeland: Ah, the infamous nutcase Popeland (the title of 'Nutcase' is an honor!), the Trusty Strings shall probably return! But there's Trusty-everything these days. Have you tried Trusty Papillas? Or how about Trusty doorknockers? Trusty bustenhalters! There's so much more!

Lovecraft151: What do you mean the series has come to an end? Though I do admit, I don't really know what could happen now. All I can think of is Kain going as far back as the Ancient-Hylden war and stopping the Ancients from getting the blood-curse so the Pillars could be served by their rightful owners. Only bad part: Kain would pop out of existence. Thank you so much for the complement!

ShadesOfBlood: Rip Maen! Pheonix Down! There, you're alive again! Thank me by hopefully liking this chapter!

Kangaroo Joe: I understand what you mean, I know this stuff is funny but sometimes I myself don't think it is so I have a tendency to push myself too hard. Kain and Jay and Silent Bob? I might could, it would be a good combination but I haven't seen the movie in a long time so I'd have to see it again. Thanks for reviewing!

Wow, 11 reviews for one chapter! You all you me so much, thank you!! Just for that I have 1 last skit to exit with! See you next time! Oh yeah, two more things. One, I've started college, it's actually pretty cool. Two, Alien vs. Predator is a very cool movie. Go Aliens!

Well, we open up to a field with a complex power line holder in it. You know, those gray metal structures that the power leads to. Anyway, it's turned off. Kain is staring at YOU with a smug look on his face. Then Vorador and Janos come bouncing up to Kain.

Vorador: Hehehe, my butt is green! My butt is green!

Janos: Kain, I love you! (kisses Kain on cheek)

Kain glares but then starts grinning at them again. He points to the power line holder.

Kain: I got y'all a jungle jim!

Janos: A jungle jim!? Yay!

Vorador: Yay, a jungle jim! Thank you!

Both Janos and Vorador go and climb the turned off power line holder and have a lot of fun! Kain looks at YOU with a smug grin on his face and he pulls out a switch. He then presses the switch, which turns power on.

FZZZZT-BOOM!

FZZZZT-BOOM!

Kain looks at YOU.

Kain: Oh, I do so hate it when they're having fun.