Hidden Village Ninja Academy
By Far Away for Today
Summary: [AU] Naruto had been forced to enroll in the Ninja Academy. He wanted eat ramen and sleep. Instead he got hounded by weirdoes, ditched by his team and tortured by perverts. Not the best first impression.
Disclaimer: "I do not own Naruto, otherwise I'd be rich." - Old Chinese Proverb
Author's Note: Thank you for all the helpful comments. I believe there are some things I need to clarify.
First of all, all British style boarding schools operate on the "house system", as do many of their colleges. This isn't a British setting, but I know how this system of schooling works so I'm using it. The 'house' system is to promote competition between students because the boarding schools generally isolate themselves. American schools have equivalent systems between other schools in their area. Harry Potter is similar because it functions on a British-schooling system as well. I didn't really notice the similarity until it was mentioned, thank you Chief316 and Bubblytokki.
Secondly, Iruka is not Naruto's guardian. Iruka was his tutor though. I suppose I didn't make a very good distinction between the two since it's confused so many of you. Iruka is not going to be perverted or a lamebrain. I made an extra effort to make the distinction clear in this chapter.
Now I would like to thank my editor, Nick. He is reason this story is posted and the reason it is readable. He does all corrections and he also critiques the story. Basically, he makes sure I don't sound stupid, which tells you just how vital he is to my writing. His username is Cyrik Skylark, if you want to send him your appreciation as well.
Chapter 2: Survival
A loud siren echoed through the small taupe room. A rumpled blonde head poked out of orange sheets in response to the disturbance. Slowly a pair of deep blue eyes opened and found a bored looking room filled with cheerful sunlight. The sapphire eyes blurred in confusion. Where was he? Oh yes, the boarding school from hell. Naruto pulled himself up and looked around grumpily, yawning and stretching out the kinks from his sleep. The boy was still clad in his traveling clothes from the day before. His once clean and crisp outfit was now wrinkled and sweaty. He was too tired to care that it was dry clean only.
He needed more sleep. Still, there was some mysterious loud siren going off, preventing him from going back to sleep. The boy began searching for the noisemaker planning to destroy it. The problem was that he couldn't find it. The horn wasn't coming from inside his room. Grimacing, he stood up and trudged over to his door. When he opened it, he came face to face with a weirdo in black.
Outside room 114 stood a freak wearing black sunglasses and a bandana style forehead protector. The man leered at Naruto, holding the blaring foghorn. The blonde glared squinty eyed and flat-mouthed back up at the man. His first impression was that the academy was pretty dumb to let some manic loose in the dormitory with a foghorn.
"Wake up idiot. You missed my class yesterday you lazy little brat," the man sneered, letting the horn fall to silence. "Don't think I'll let you skip again. Now get to class in fifteen minutes, or I'll come back for you." With that the sleazy creep sauntered off.
Naruto watched him leave. He'd had his doubts before, but now he was absolutely positive that the man was a psychopath and he was probably out to eat innocent little children. The blonde shook his head; today was going to be bad.
"It took you three minutes to get up loser," an angry voice remarked with a growl behind in. Standing in the hall two doors down was a disheveled brunette in yellow pajamas with a scruffy dog on his head. Naruto didn't notice any of these things - what he did notice were the red triangles running down the boy's face. They reminded Naruto of a really big pervert, the one that had sent him to this putrid and perverse level of hell. "Thanks for the wake up call idiot." The simple statement snapped the dazed boy into reality, and he promptly slammed his door shut.
He had to be ready for when that weirdo came back. Setting his mind to the task, the first thing he did was to find his uniform. It took a minute to find the box labeled 'Clothing' in his tutor's ever-perfect handwriting. Iruka had neatly packed everything for his young student. He unsealed and opened the box, quickly pulling out his uniform. After a bit of searching he found his bathroom stuff. With the necessary items acquired, he slid the bathroom door open. He looked inside his bathroom; inside was a shower, toilet and sink with a mirror. The sterile sink and toilet were a soft beige, paler than his skin. A third of the bathroom served as the shower, tiled in the same soft beige, with a curtain separating it from the rest of the room. It was maybe two by six feet with a locking sliding door. It was nowhere near as good as home, but it was better than the communal facilities he thought he'd be stuck with - something his perverted guardian had made the boy learn to loathe and despise.
After stocking the little bathroom with his things, his began getting ready. Iruka had forced him to get cleaned and ready in less that ten minutes, which was roughly the amount of time he had left. He'd cleaned up and dressed, but still hadn't unpacked his school bag.
He opened the door and got a sounding horn in his face.
"What the hell in your problem?!" the boy yelled. Glaring at the insulted and angry older man, Naruto blew him a raspberry. Not waiting for an answer the blonde shut his door again.
"Hah! You think a door can stop an elite jounin?" the creep laughed after a moment of stunned silence. The boy figured there was no time like the present to test if he'd placed the seal on correctly. The frustrated growl that followed the jounin's attempts to open the door proved that the seal had been placed correctly. The blonde grinned.
He listened to his teacher make loud noises while unpacking some of his school things. He decided that for a torturous level of hell, it was remarkably entertaining around here. When he opened his door, he found his red-in-the-face ninja instructor standing with Kakashi. The white haired ninja looked as bored as he had the day before.
"How did you lock us out?" Kakashi asked, his silver eyebrow rising as though he was actually interested. The blonde knew however, that Iruka never would be angry if the seal was revealed to the public.
"A ninja never reveals his secrets," Naruto grinned.
"A genin shouldn't be playing with such high level techniques," the black-clad freak hollered. The boy shrugged. He shouldered his school bag and slipped his key into his pocket. Even though he didn't need to lock his room, he locked it anyway.
He closed his door, walking past his fuming teacher and pondering mentor. The boy smiled at the faces he met. He noticed Sakura glaring at him and offered a wave, but she looked ready to kill. Most of the people he passed did not smile back. Whether they were annoyed by the early hour or the early morning wake up call was a mystery. However, their foul mood didn't dampen his victory over his teacher. It wasn't as though he'd asked the man to wake him up this morning. What gave that leering creep the right to interrupt his peaceful slumber?
As he reached the dormitory exit, a familiar hand landed on his head. He looked up at a single black eye.
"Good morning Kakashi-sensei," the boy greeted cheerfully. The man nodded.
"That's a strong seal you have on your room," Kakashi stated and pushed the boy out the door.
The sunlight hadn't yet reached over the edge of the surrounding building, covering everything in a hazy gray light. A line of fog still clung to the ground level. Pink and green foliage lined the path from the Leaf dormitory to the academy building. While the walls of the massive building facing out were plain and flat, the inner walls were not. Giant attacking beasts were held back by the stone while other monsters stood embossed in the gray walls. Balconies and black sheets of glass took up the empty space between the frozen creatures. At the ground a carved stone archway with a thick wooden door stood as the entrance into the building.
"Not even noon and you're in trouble," the man sighed in a bored manner, "You really shouldn't draw so much attention to yourself."
"Yes, because I'm trying to and all," the boy howled, earning a sound knock on his head. He howled in pain and shot the man a soured face. He tried again to remove the hand on his head to no avail. "Hey, hey, who was that annoying psychopath anyway?"
"Psychopath?" the jounin parroted, blinking several times to comprehend and then he snickered, "That psychopath is your homeroom teacher this year, Ebisu."
"Shit," he groaned and squawked when he received another knock on the head, "Stop already, I get it." The man scoffed, steering him through the halls and pushing the young boy into a room labeled '1-A'.
The room was the right size for about two dozen kids. At the moment, though, the room was empty. High window let in the gray light from the courtyard. The desks were long mahogany tables, large enough to seat three students each. The tables ascended four tiers back in pairs. A black chalkboard stood behind a podium at the front. The black-clad maniac stood by the pedestal.
"You will arrive ten minutes early to class until you remove the seal from your room," Ebisu stated and stood over the boy, trying to intimidate him. It didn't work. The stiff and straight posture with his hands folded behind his back made the elite jounin looked very prim. Having had Iruka as a tutor, Naruto had experienced true intimidation.
"What?!" the hyper boy yelled and got a sound knock on the head. There was certainly a bump forming at this point. Naruto wondered whose side Kakashi was on. "Yes Ebisu-sensei," he begrudgingly replied.
"Good, you can go remove the seal after classes," Ebisu stated smugly, turning away from the boy.
"Hey, hey, you said if I come early I don't have to take it off," Naruto said, he whiskers knotting up in confusion. The sunglasses did little to hide the unabashed hatred that poured from the teacher's glare.
"What?! Kakashi-sensei, get your subordinate under control!" Ebisu thundered.
"There's no rule stating he is not allowed to have the seal," the white-haired jounin shrugged, "therefore he can't be punished for it."
"Very well," the fuming teacher replied. The blonde smiled and picked a seat at the middle back table. His mentor threw a wave over his shoulder as he strolled out of the room. Naruto hadn't thought much of his team leader before, but now he definitely respected the man a little.
Ebisu stood at the front ignoring the blonde until students began to file in. Even though Naruto was exhausted from traveling still, his stomach tingled with excitement. This would be his first day of school, real school. The room slowly filled with disgruntled murmuring and cheerful squeals. The blonde received a large share of death glares from those who weren't happy with the wake up call they'd gotten this morning. It was bad enough that he was getting terrified by old friends, that his teammates had ditched him yesterday and that some freakish sixth year was out to get him, now his classmates hated him. He refused to let his fear show though. He grinned as happily as if he had a fountain of ramen.
A rough hand grabbed the back of Naruto's uniform hauling him up and out of his seat. The boy looked to see his leering teacher carrying by the scruff of his neck. Before he could mouth a complaint he was thrown into a seat at the front. He glared at the satisfied looking teacher who'd attacked him.
Naruto looked down his table to see Sasuke and Sakura sitting with him. The long dark haired boy stared numbly out the window. Sakura was chatting happily with the platinum blonde one row behind. The hyper boy grinned and they ignored him.
Nobody gave him any love here.
"Good morning class 1-A," Ebisu said from behind his podium. Not waiting for a reply the man continued, "Today I am giving a pop quiz on the school primer we cover yesterday. Those who fail to answer correctly will stand at the front of the class. Points will be docked from their teams." The class groaned, but Naruto bubbled with excitement. Iruka must have known that he'd be tested on the school primer his first day. He didn't know what these points were for, but having them sounded important.
"First, we will begin with our new student, Uzumaki Naruto," Ebisu said condescendingly. The man sauntered over with his leering gaze. Naruto could only wonder how they'd let such a wacko teach, but then again his good-for-nothing guardian was allowed to be a ninja.
"Naruto-kun," Ebisu said, snapping Naruto back to reality, "what is the third rule of the school primer?" Ebisu grinned. The boy scrunched his face and growled in thought.
"Which section?" he asked after a moment.
"Just answer the question," the teacher howled, sending most students into shock. The man quickly recovered his cool and smiled down, waiting for the answer.
"The third rule of the school primer itself is not to allow the primer to be taken by anyone," Naruto grinned.
"Wrong," Ebisu snapped.
"What?!" the blonde shouted, "It is not wrong!"
"Shut up and go to the front of the class you idiot!" Ebisu shouted back. The boy stomped up to the front and stood there angrily. Sasuke huffed and Sakura just let her head fall into her arms with a groan. Naruto fumed at the front. He'd been marked for failure before he'd even been tested.
The teacher filed through the class questioning everyone. The blonde felt his head getting heavy as the questioning continued. Slowly, his exhaustion was catching up to him. The blonde barely noticed that two other boys had joined him. One was the red triangle faced boy with his dog on his head. The other boy was a fat kid, huge by ninja standards, still chomping on chips. Naruto stood half-awake at the front.
"Um, Ebisu-sensei," said the white-eyed girl from yesterday, catching the teacher's attention. The blonde wrenched his eyes open and tried to focus. He didn't need anymore trouble.
"Yes, Hinata-san," the man asked sweetly, "Did you have a question?" The blonde scrunched his face in disgust at the sexist bastard. Even though he absolutely did not want him yelling at the meek girl, he was annoyed the man didn't treat everyone equally.
"The third rule of the school primer states that we are not allowed to let the primer be taken from our possession."
"Yes," the man stared at her with interest, still waiting for her question as she pointed to it on the scroll, "Is that all Hinata-san?" The girl looked confused and helpless. She bowed her head, sorrowfully resigning from the argument, as the scroll slowly disappeared into her bag.
Sakura stood. The pink-haired girl looked very determined. She waited for the teacher to acknowledge her, which he didn't. She still waited.
"Now you three who failed have lost your teams twenty-five-"
"Ebisu-sensei," Sakura interrupted, "Naruto-kun answered the question correctly."
"Did he?" said the teacher. Sakura looked shocked at the man's dishonesty.
"You said it yourself sir," she stated, her jaw tightening.
"Perhaps we'll test if the little troublemaker does know the whole primer then?" he said. The girl paled and Naruto sighed. He was in trouble no matter what he said.
"Naruto-kun, what is the fiftieth rule of the fourteenth section?" Ebisu smiled and the blonde grinned back.
"There is no fiftieth rule in the fourteenth section because of a typographical error," the boy stated like a dictionary.
There was a groan and a shuffle of paper.
"Shit," the platinum blonde girl exclaimed, "It's correct." The class stared at the blonde and the teacher. The elite jounin shook with angry, a crease forming at his brow. The ninjas watched in silence as the insane man slowly boiled into a raging inferno.
"You three pick up those buckets and fill them with water. Be standing outside this door in fifteen minutes!" Ebisu shrieked. Naruto fumed. The tension rose, but the blonde knew that if he got really angry things would get ugly. So he huffed and grabbed a bucket. Sakura collapsed in relief. The other two boys bitterly grabbed pales as well and followed behind the blonde.
They walked in single file with Naruto in the front. The dog-boy grumbled during the entire walk to the sinks. The four faucets poked out of the stone along the wall. The fat boy drank a hefty swig before he joined in filing his bucket. The blonde found this all very boring and he yawned. He waited for the other two before lugging his pail back to the classroom.
When the three boys returned, a certain white-haired jounin was waiting in the classroom. Kakashi's lazy eye was boring over Sakura and Sasuke. The boy ignored him and Sakura shrank under his eye. The shaded sexist lunatic teacher was checking the contents of the scroll as the masked ninja waited.
"Naruto-kun, come with me," Kakashi stated.
"Why does he get to leave?" the dog-boy whined.
"He doesn't," Ebisu stated looking up from the scroll. "I can't allow him to just go after missing classes once already."
"The Hokage ordered it," Kakashi replied dully, "He was to stay in bed today."
"Is he sick?" the platinum blonde girl asked, shooting Naruto a wary look. The boy scratched behind head and shrugged. He was more than a little confused by the situation. If he was supposed to still be in bed, why did he get that horrible wake up call?
"I don't think so. Hokage probably feels that Naruto is still tired from his trip and the jetlag. A ten hour flight and five mile hike can do that," the masked man shrugged. Ebisu scoffed and rolled the scroll up. The man was bent on ruining the boy's life. Naruto groaned at his bad luck. He was about to argue, when something orange in Kakashi pocket caught the boy's attention. He walked up to the man to investigate it and gasped.
"Ah!" Naruto screamed, "He's got that book! Pervert!" Sakura groaned loudly. The lazy jounin blinked innocently and pulled out the little orange book. It was titled 'Come Come Paradise.' The man was totally unashamed of the item and flipped it open to read. The class paled.
"Your student could have still made it to class Kakashi-sensei," Ebisu said, "The Hokage will understand." The crazy teacher leered at the book with much interest as Kakashi read it, in front of the mortified class. Naruto opened his mouth but a hand landed on his head, effectively silencing him.
"But Naruto-kun's jet got delayed," Kakashi replied innocently while reading his book, "for three hours because of the hurricane in southern Wave Country. He didn't land till late morning and then he had to hike up through the forest to get here by lunch."
"Jet," a nasal voiced boy asked with a more bored look than Kakashi.
"His jet?" the platinum blonde asked, her eyes lighting up with sparkle, "Like his own personal one."
"How could an orphan own a jet?" Ebisu asked dully. Most of the class gasped, including Naruto who went wide-eyed with shock.
"Hmm. The Hokage didn't say and I didn't ask," Kakashi answered. His nose was still in his book as he turned Naruto and pushed the boy out the door.
"Ah! I can walk on my own Kakashi-sensei, stop pushing!" echoed down the hall a moment later.
The white-hair jounin didn't look up from his book until they reached the dormitory. At dorm room 114, the man let go of Naruto's head. They stared at each other for awhile, one seething in anger and the other looking mildly entertained by the display.
Naruto growled and opened his door, not closing it to let the man follow him in.
"So you are the only one who can open the door from the outside," the man asked, not touching the orphan subject. Naruto shrugged and pulled off his uniform. He threw it all over his room and looked through an open box for his pajamas.
"The window is the same way," he said grumpily.
"It can let someone in though, interesting. You didn't make this," Kakashi stated.
"No, my perverted guardian did." The man nodded at the craftsmanship as he played with the door.
"He's the one who reads those novels then?" Naruto just nodded, not wanting to talk anymore. He pulled on his worn-out pajamas and little black nightcap. This level of hell was slowly sinking from the 'putrid' level to the 'decapitated bunnies and squirrels' level.
"Did you want something Kakashi-sensei?" the boy asked yawning loudly. Kakashi threw an alarm clock at the boy.
"Be in room 130 at 4pm today." The boy nodded and the man disappeared in a cloud on smoke. He closed his door and yawned again. Naruto looked at the alarm in his hand and left it unset on a box. He climbed under the covers and went back to bed.
All too soon his stomach growled. He remembered that he hadn't eaten any breakfast this morning. He looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was actually lunchtime. The blonde dressed, pulling his uniform together, and headed out to eat. The walk to the cafeteria seemed slow, but he really didn't want to see his classmates now. They'd all think he was some poor loser. It was better than letting people know who his actual guardian was. The boy cringed.
"Hey Blondie," the ramen chef waved as Naruto approached. The boy looked at the horrible line and paled.
"Ah! No fair!" he whined and the chef laughed. The man set five packaged bowls of steaming ramen of the counter.
"I got your order all ready for you Blondie. Five large bowls of ramen," the chef laughed as the boy jumped up and down whooping with joy. "Off you go runt, don' drop any." The boy stopped and stared at the jolly old man. His blue eyes grew very serious.
"I would never drop a bowl of ramen," he stated in a grave voice as if it were a life or death matter. The chef laughed even more. He took his bowls and headed up to his table where he found Haku and Zabuza already eating.
The mist ninja looked less weird today. The boy was wearing a summer kimono still, but today it was a deep blue with willow branches patterned on it. Zabuza had put on his jounin uniform but his bandaged face was unchanged. It was oddly comforting today. He didn't know why.
"How was your first day of class?" Haku smiled.
"Uh," the blonde sweated, "I only lasted the first hour. The Hokage sent me to bed after that thankfully." He grinned sheepishly while Haku shook his head ever-smiling. Within a moment, Naruto growled. "But I have the worst teacher in the world! That Ebisu-sensei is a total bastard and a psychopath. I answered the question right and just because he could break into my room he lies and said I was wrong twice!"
Haku cut him off with a hand on his head.
"Huh? What?" Naruto stared dumbfounded at the older teen.
"I'm glad you're back to normal." Haku smiled and Naruto gave the older boy his genuine foxy grin.
"Why did you teacher want to break into your room?" Zabuza asked.
"Because he's a lunatic," the blonde spat ramen as he ranted, "The freak blew a horn to wake me up and then he did it again in my face."
"Naruto-kun, what about him breaking into room though?" Haku asked, trying to pull the boy back onto topic.
"Oh don't worry, he didn't get in. I sealed my door and window last night," the boy grin, "I'm the only person who can get into my room." The boy laughed feeling proud. "Ebisu-sensei got really angry about it though and when he couldn't punish me for it he told the class I'm an orphan." Naruto's mood shifted from light to dark and Haku frowned. He knew much of the boy's past, being first friends with the hyper blonde. The older boy had been at the same orphanage with Naruto until Zabuza and understood it was a sensitive subject. However, Naruto had never known his parents. The brunette had known his parents and was more than glad to have Zabuza now.
"Did Iruka-san make them for you?" the older boy smiled, trying to remind the boy of happier things, "The seals?"
"No, Iruka-sensei forced the old pervert to draw them up," the boy grinned. He wolfed down another bowl of ramen and pulled the next out.
"What are you going to do today?" Haku asked politely.
"Unpacking, do you want to help?" the blonde asked cheerily.
"I can't silly, I'm a Mist ninja," Haku said shaking his head. He'd forgotten how slow the blonde could be at times, "When you're top of your class I'll be able to, but you'll get in trouble with your peers for letting me in otherwise."
"You're probably already getting bothered because you eat with us," the bandaged Mist ninja stated. Naruto shook his head.
"What do I care about other stupid people? Come help me unpack!" the boy yelled.
"Unlike you, Haku does have classes to finish today," Zabuza stated firmly, ending the discussion. The brunette nodded.
Naruto pouted.
"Oh well," the boy shrugged, "I'll meet you for dinner at six, unless my team leader in late again." Zabuza scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"Kakashi is always late. It's from reading all that porn," the man said curtly, watching the blonde roll his eyes, and then added, "He's testing you today."
"Testing us already?" Naruto looked surprised, but the jounin nodded.
"Your team leader is going to see if you're really good enough to be a genin," Haku stated. The blonde stared dumbly at the two Mist ninjas. "Naruto-kun, you do know what a genin is, don't you?"
"Uh," the boy paused, "Oh, what Iruka-sensei mentioned about being tested for the team?"
"Naruto-kun," Haku sighed, shaking his head sadly, "Sometimes I wonder how you survive when you're so slow."
"Ah! Haku-nii-san," Naruto shouted and the other ninjas laughed.
"Just remember: You can't take a jounin down on your own," the older Mist ninja stated, "so don't even try. Whatever test he gives it'll be to measure your abilities, not whether you get the job done." The boy nodded, understanding. "Expect something sadistic and perverted since it is Kakashi."
"Something like your guardian would do." Haku added. Naruto swallowed heavily.
"There aren't any deep ravines around here are there?" the boy asked warily. Both Mist ninjas shook their heads in confusion, but Naruto just sighed in relief. He quickly finished eating and shot his friends a swift farewell. He headed straight back to his room. There were a lot of boxes waiting for him.
When he got inside, he looked around. His clothes and bath boxes were already open. He pulled the clothes box over to the closet and started hanging up his shirts. He had only one nice outfit, which was still rumbled from yesterday. Naruto had mostly black t-shirts with red spirals or plain white. Iruka had packed all the necessary hangers. His tutor really did everything for him, and he got the feeling it'd be tough without that man around now. Sighing, he pulled out his pre-folded shorts, pants and boxers and tucked them into a drawer at the base of the closet, along with his socks.
He threw the empty box near the door and started taking out his bath things. The hanging shower shelf was rather annoying to put together and even more difficult to hook onto the showerhead. He eventually got it though, and stocked it with his shampoo. Since he didn't have a roommate, he got double the closet space, two identical closets with drawers at their bases. He pulled out his towels, all six, and put them it in the other drawer. He threw the empty box in the direction of the other one.
He opened his training gear next. He put the two boxes of weights, weapons and scrolls in the vacant closet. Most of the weights were in a special box and the pouched clothing was folded over it. He reached into the box to pull out the last item only to find it was empty. The boy looked confused, but shrugged. Iruka must have packed his orange jumpsuit elsewhere.
He ripped open the next box that had his mini-refrigerator, pulled it out, and put it between his desk and window.
Naruto looked at his boring desk. It was a simple wooden writing table with two drawers to one side and a wide flat drawer under the tabletop. Digging into a new box, he grabbed all his colorful school supplies and filled the mundane piece of furniture with it. He connected his telephone, a red and orange lighting device that could wake the dead with a single ring. On the large tack-board over his desk, he put the pictures of Iruka and him up. He hid all the photos with his guardian in his drawer, except one, which had the nice old maid kicking his guardian half way out of the photo and the nice lady who followed the old maid standing with Naruto and Iruka off to the corner.
After the photos were his posters and wall scrolls. The blonde put up a large poster looking over the metropolis Hinomoto, Fire Country's capital across from his tack-board. Next was a foot-long fan with red calligraphy painted on gray silk. He put the fan over his door. He took out two charms and hung them on either side of the poster. Lastly he pulled out a wall scroll. It had a picture of forest painted on its white silk. The boy pulled open his door and taped the scroll just below his name.
"So, do you own your own jet?" the platinum blonde asked as she poked her head in. Naruto fell back and hit his head on the last box. He stared up at the girls who began looking around his room.
"Ino, even though his door was open, he could have still been naked," a nasal voice stated. The boy who owned it stood lazily against the doorframe.
"He's got a mini-refrigerator!" Ino screamed and three heads appeared behind the lazy fellow. Naruto knew Sakura's face was one and the other two were the failures from class.
"Cool," the fat kid stated, "I got two in my room."
"Ah," Sakura blushed at her curiosity and tried to cover it, "Naruto-kun don't be late to today's meeting." She tried to smile but her eyes were following Ino who was still exploring his room.
"This one is way nicer than your two Chouji, but not as big. There's a freezer though." The crowd awed, except the nasal guy who just rolled his eyes. "Well?" the platinum blonde asked. Naruto found her head hanging over him. He scrambled away from her.
"What?" he snapped, slightly worried, but really annoyed.
"The jet?" she prompted.
"I don't own a jet," Naruto stated in all honesty.
"Do your parents?" the fat boy asked. Naruto glared at him and the lazy boy hit him on the head for good measure.
"I'm Nara Shikamaru," the lazy boy nodded, "This is Akimichi Chouji and Inuzuka Kiba." The blonde waved as Ino came up and poked him.
"Did you live at an orphanage?"
"I did," he sweated, and then before she could ask more he cut her off by quickly adding, "Now this in my home."
"Oh!" the blonde girl hugged him. He frowned at her as she gave him a pitying look.
"Ah! I've got training," Kiba howled and a bark followed it. Ino squeaked as she hurried off. Sakura bowed and headed after the other girl. The fat guy was already gone, to probably eat more. Naruto sighed. Shikamaru still lazed against his doorframe.
"You're really disgustingly rich, huh?" the boy stated quietly, stepping inside and looking at his pictures. Naruto sweated, "It not my business, but you're ashamed of your adopted family, right?" The blonde frowned and nodded. This guy was creepy, "You play Go or Shogi?"
"Played Go, never Shogi. I'm not great though," he shrugged. He'd only played with his guardian or tutor on occasion.
"How tiresome," the boy huffed, "Well, they've got a Go board in the commons, want to play after dinner?" Naruto grinned and agreed. When he shut his door behind Shikimaru though, he vowed to never open it again. People were definitely weird here. He wondered how Iruka had come out so normal from this school.
The blonde looked down at the empty box and panicked. He only had one more box left and still no sign of his sacred orange tracksuit. A sinking feeling settled in his stomach. Opening the last box he found what he was suspecting, instant ramen. The whole box was filled with ramen. This would normally have made him ecstatic, but it meant he didn't have his tracksuit.
Naruto picked up his phone and dialed the number Iruka had left on it. It rang twice before it was answered.
"Umino Iruka," a calm voice stated on the other side.
"Iruka-sensei where's my orange tracksuit?!" the boy yelled into the receiver, his hands moving frantically.
"Oh Naruto, let me save this number," Iruka's hurried voice stated. The blonde groaned at his tutor's skewed priorities. In a moment the calm voice returned. "How do you like the academy?"
"It's the disembodied babies' level of hell! Did you pack my orange tracksuit?" Naruto screamed.
"You were wearing… Oh dear you changed didn't you?" Iruka's calm voice trailed off and the blonde groaned, falling into a hapless mess on his floor. "I'll find it and mail it to you. Now what's so terrible about school?"
"It's your fault," the boy growled, "those seals really got my teacher mad and then he got even angrier when I knew everything about the school primer."
"Oh," the voice frown, "Well, don't let them take the seals off. I'll call the Hokage and speak with him. Is that all?"
"No, people are weird here. My homeroom teacher is the devil, Haku is a dressing like a girl, there's a guy with creepy red eyes and my team leader is a pervert reading 'Come Come Paradise' all the time!" the blonde gasped for air and waited for Iruka's reply.
"Haku is a transvestite. Hmm, he always was a bit girly," Iruka sighed, it was like he was commenting on his laundry, "but this thing about your team leader is rather serious. Setting such a bad example for you children." Naruto groaned; he'd forgotten that Iruka never quite understood how grave the situations were. His stomach growled.
"Ah! Iruka-sensei, I'm hungry. Can I call you later?" the boy pouted.
"Of course, I didn't send you with a coffeemaker though to boil water with, but I ordered it so it'll arrive by the end of the week," there was a pause as other voices came onto the other side. "Oh, Naruto there's someone who wants to say-" the blonde hung up and disconnected the phone. He didn't want to talk to another else over there. He looked on his desk and saw the thermos of cold ramen Haku had given him earlier. He opened it up, and ate it. It was like thick soup, ramen flavored. The taste was not bad.
His clock read 3:45 so he left his dorm and headed to room 130. His two teammates were waiting for him when he arrived.
"Hi, how are you?" the blonde smiled and sat next to Sakura. She huffed and ignored him.
"We lost points because of you," Sasuke said in a flat tone.
"Points?" the blonde recalled something about this morning.
"Each team gains or loses points based on behavior and performance," Sakura explained and pointed to the board. Team 7, which had their names under it, had no points. It was then that Naruto noticed that his was the room he'd been in this morning. "So take the damn seal off and apologize to the teacher so we can get some points you idiot." He scrunched his face and pouted.
"Nothing in the school rules states that I can't have them," he said, not wanting to admit that he couldn't remove them.
"Look just because you want to be dead last doesn't mean you can bring Sasuke and me with you! Right Sasuke-kun?"
"It doesn't matter, that idiot won't pass our leader's test anyway."
"And how do you know that boy? You don't even know who I am," Kakashi walked into the room, "It's not nice to actually meet you all."
"You're on time. Finished the book didn't you?" the blonde asked dully. The older man laughed and nodded, earning confused looks from his team. He waved the insult off like an insect.
"I imagine that devil warned you," the older man stated, completely ignoring the other two in the room. Naruto nodded. "Yeah, well enough chitchat. I came to say that you each have until dinner to get at least one of two bells," the man pointed to a pair of bells hanging by his waist, "Only two bells means only two pass. Good luck."
"Wait! How are we supposed to get them from you?" Sakura steamed, "If you go into a restricted area then we can't follow!"
"Hmm," the jounin posed in deep thought. Naruto lunged at the man who easily sidestepped, sending the boy into the wall. "Tough luck," he answered. He wrinkled his eye in amusement and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"You really are a total idiot," Sasuke stated. He stood up and left the grumbling blonde behind.
"Sasuke and I are going to pass, so don't even ask us for help loser," Sakura shook her head and followed after Sasuke. Naruto frowned and rubbed his head. That hadn't gone as planned, or how he'd hoped. Iruka was right, the dumber they seem the smarter they are. His team leader was quick and skilled. If Zabuza was annoyed with the perverted man, it probably meant he'd been beaten by the Leaf ninja.
The blonde went back to his room and hid there till dinner. He spent the time training. He didn't want to be on some team with either of those jerks. But he wouldn't let them best him. So he started planning what would be the greatest plan. Bells or no bells, he'd kick some ass.
When dinner came he ran to get his ramen. The chef had five large bowls packed and waiting for him. He hugged the man and bounced off to eat with Haku. He stopped however when he saw his team. Both looked rather angry, annoyed and messy. They hadn't gotten a bell yet. He smiled.
"How's the hunting going?" the boy smiled. If they wouldn't willingly help, he'd make them help without their knowledge. Kakashi had to be watching from somewhere, the guy was everywhere.
"Shut up Naruto, you didn't get any bells either," Sakura jumped on the boy. He had to hand his bowls to some afro haired boy to keep them safe.
"Could you hold this for me, um, just for a bit." The boy nodded simply.
"You're a stupid dead-last loser!"
"Look, it's not my fault you're a weak little girl!" he said as he pushed her off.
"Oh you!" she shrieked.
"What? At least I'm not some stupid fan-girl after some pathetic wannabe!" Naruto shot back. He grinned like a devil when Sasuke's head whipped up.
"What did you say about my Sasuke you dead-last loser?!" Sakura screamed. He smirked and puffed himself up.
"You heard me. I don't want anything to do with some moron who's trying to be like his big brother and failing at it." The cafeteria quieted and Sasuke glared.
"Say that again you loser," he growled.
"I said you're brother's better than you'll ever be wimp," he said and dodged as Sasuke threw a kunai, jumping up and knocking things everywhere.
The longhaired boy was behind Naruto in a second. The blonde had to jump to get away. Sasuke followed him. Sasuke erupted into an aerial combo, feet and fists flying towards the blonde. Naruto desperately blocked the attacks, but allowed one of the enraged boy's punches to connect solidly with his stomach. Grinning, he locked his hands around the fist and pulled Sasuke down with him, sending the two to the floor with a solid thump. They rolled around on the floor, Sasuke doing his best to send Naruto's brains to the floor while Naruto tried to do the same. Sasuke landed a punch on the blonde's jaw knocking his head back with a sickening thud.
"Kakashi-sensei, stop them!" Sakura screamed. The jounin came into view for a second and Naruto stood. But the other boy leaped up into the air and threw a kick at the blonde's face. Kakashi stopped the kick mid-air but Naruto still fell back from the shock into the older man and rolled to the side. The cafeteria settled down and everyone waited for the jounin to reprimand the two troublemakers.
"Well, looks like you all pass," the jounin stated in a happy tone, letting Sasuke drop and turning to Naruto. A grinning and jingling blonde looked up from the ground. A silver eyebrow rose but said nothing. "See you tomorrow."
"I told you the plan would work," Sasuke stated, dusting himself off.
"What?!" Naruto yelled, but it was too late. The other boy had taken credit his great plan. The whole cafeteria burst into conversation as the blonde seethed with anger.
"Oh Sasuke-kun, that was a brilliant plan," the platinum blonde fan-girl squealed. Sakura stood confused but sighed with relief when she realized she'd been passed. Everyone was congratulating the Uchiha boy.
The blonde rose and got ready to throttle the prick when something covered his shoulders. He blinked in surprise. It was a black coat with red clouds on it. The fabric was raw silk, very well made. He remembered seeing it before.
"Ah, this is Itachi-san's," he started pulling it off but he looked around. Everyone had quieted down to whispers again; people did that a lot around here.
"It's yours," said a familiar bored voice. Naruto turned to find Itachi in his own coat staring down at him. He sweated. This guy was weird.
"I can't wear this, I'll be out of uniform," the blonde pulled it off and held it out to the teen, "But thanks anyway."
"Interesting…" the teen smirked and walked away, not taking the coat, leaving Naruto still very confused.
"What the hell is with that guy?" the blonde shook his head, sighing. He looked at the coat again. The raw silk was a fine thread and shimmered in the light. The inside was soft white velvet. His name was embroidered on the inside of the left edge of the high collar.
Suddenly five large ramen bowls were in Naruto's face. Startled, he stared at the boy holding them. The taller, dark hair boy stood stiffing, looking rather mysterious in the school uniform with round black shades. The smell on fresh ramen brought the blonde back from his staring.
"Oh. Hah. Thanks… Um…" the blonde scratched his head and sweated.
"Aburame Shino," the other boy answered languidly. Naruto threw the giant coat over his shoulder and took the bowls.
"Uzumaki Naruto," he smiled, "Hey, hey, do you want one of my bowls?" the boy shook his head and revealed a lunch box purchased from one of the shops. "Do you want to eat with me?" The other boy paused and then gave a shrug. Naruto beamed with joy. He'd made his second new friend, because those crazies who barged into his room didn't count, except Shikamaru - his first new friend.
"They picked you to be an Akatsuki!" Haku exclaimed happily when the two Leaf genin reach the table.
"Akatsuki?" he asked. Haku nodded. As soon as Naruto sat down Haku took the coat and examined it delicately. He boy cooed over the beautiful garment before folding it properly and placing in on the back of the blonde's chair. The blonde looked behind at Shino, who was still standing. "Ah! Sorry. Shino-san, this is Momochi Zabuza and Haku. They're old friends of mine."
"I'm Aburame Shino," the boy stated and bowed politely, taking the other seat by Naruto. "May I ask what an Akatsuki is?"
"The Akatsuki are all elite ninjas," Haku stated. He formed a block of ice from his glass of water and wrapped it in a napkin. Naruto winced as the coldness touched his sore and swelling jaw. "They choose only the best to be part of their group. At the academy they act like the student council you would find at ordinary schools. Once they graduate they stay together, like a fellowship. What makes them truly strange is that they don't pay any attention to village association, just ability," Haku looked at the coat sitting on the blonde shoulder. "The members are considered the elite of the entire ninja community."
"Hey, hey, how did he know I'm any good? I only showed him my Sexy no Jutsu?!" the blonde frowned. Shino's brow rose at the last part and Zabuza choked on his rice.
"Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu is something silly he made up, it's not worth worrying about," Haku sweated as he politely addressed the boy across from him.
"Yeah, but it took out the Hokage and half the sixth floor. That old man's nose was still bleeding when we got back to the office," Naruto laugh.
Suddenly Zabuza started laughing and the young ninjas stared in shocked silence. Shino simply blinked, understanding this was not a normal occurrence and waiting with the others.
"What did Itachi say when he saw it?" the older Mist ninja asked between bouts laughter.
"Um… I think he said 'Stupid' or something," Naruto sweated. The devilish man grinned behind his bandages.
"I bet that was the first time that anal prick has ever seen a naked woman." The man howled with laughter. It was really frightening to watch him laugh. The bandages on his face parted, showing razor-sharp teeth inside.
"I think I understand what the Sexy no Jutsu is," Shino state blandly, "and you forget your display just now."
"You mean Sasuke's great plan?" Naruto said sarcastically.
"I knew it was your plan," Shino stated and continued when the other boy went into wide-eyed shock, "You handed me the bowls, it seemed like you were preparing for it. Sasuke spilt most of his food over himself. If he'd planned it, he wouldn't have done something so careless." The shaded boy shrugged as if it was obvious.
"To anyone skilled near by it would have been obvious as well. Zabuza and I knew because we know your style," Haku smiled, ruffling the stunned boy spikes. "I know Iruka is going to be so proud when he finds out you're an Akatsuki.
"Well, I'm not going to be student council freak with a pocket protector," the blonde huffed. The two Mist ninjas stared at him blankly.
"That's not what the Akatsuki are, and I don't know if they allow people to decline the position," Zabuza stated mildly, "Orochimaru is the only man I know who had quit and lived, but he's one of the legendary three."
"I'm not doing something just because people tell me to," Naruto growled. He'd finished his five bowls and stood.
"Hypocrite," Haku stated, "I'll just call Iruka-san then."
"I'm going back to bed," Naruto bolted up and steamed, "see you for lunch tomorrow." The blonde grabbed his coat and stalked off. Shino stood with him, not understanding, but since he had finished dinner he didn't need to stay. Haku's laughter followed them as the left. They both headed back to the dorms.
"What is so important that you have to use seals to keep it safe?" Shino ask curiously.
"Oh, that's just my tutor, Iruka-sensei. He told me to put them on my door and window because you can't be too careful in a ninja academy," blonde snickered, "but all the trouble is worth it to annoy that Ebisu-sensei." Shino nodded, but Naruto couldn't tell whether it was in agreement or understanding.
Waiting at Naruto's door was Itachi. The teen was holding a box.
"This is my room," Shino stated, pointing at the door next to Naruto's. The blonde waved goodbye. Itachi stood waiting and Naruto open the door for him. It was only after the door closed that the older boy spoke.
"It's clean." Itachi placed the box on the floor by the orange futon.
"That won't last," the blond replied, yawning, and put the coat on the chair.
"It will stay clean," Itachi stated coolly. Naruto looked up at the older boy's statement and asked the first thing that came to mind when they came face to face.
"Hey, what happened to your face?" he said staring at the red eyes.
"Uchiha is an Advanced Bloodline. My eyes are Sharingan," Itachi stated simply. He pulled the boy around, taking his blue jacket off. He shook it straight and neatened the folds.
"Hey, hey, what are you doing?!" Naruto asked crossing his arms. "And I didn't mean your eyes. I meant those lines." Itachi looked at the boy in genuine surprise - a raised brow.
"I don't know. They are just there." He turned back to the jacket and hung it up in the boy's closet. He looked through the boy's clothes hanging nearby.
"Hey, what are you doing?!" the small boy groaned and rolled his eyes. He grabbed the large coat and shoved it at Itachi. "Could you just take the stupid coat back already? I don't want it!" the blonde yelled exasperatedly. Before the boy could protest the teen had the coat on him. "Ah! Why can't I move?"
"Body bind," Itachi stated. He opened the box and started trying to fit the oversized coat to the boy. He sighed in defeat and stepped back after a moment. "You will not wear this until it's been fitted. I'll take you on the next holiday to have it fitted at the tailors."
"I said I'm not going to be one of you!" he shouted.
"Totally unpredictable," Itachi smirked, "You planned that fight, you are very rich, you are moderately strong and you are determined. You don't betray your teammates, you don't care that others think you're stupid, and you don't let people push you around." The teen put his face right in front of Naruto's, "but most of all, you are not afraid of anything truly frightening."
Naruto started laughing. Itachi looked confused, but didn't say anything, simply pulled off the large coat and put it in the closet.
"I wouldn't call them teammates and the only way to pass the test was if we worked as a team," Itachi released the boy who fell to the floor. "I do care that people think I'm stupid, but my friends don't and that's what's really important."
"I know you're not stupid," Itachi replied, and leaned against the desk.
"Are you my friend?" Naruto asked looking up from the floor.
"No, I'm your guide."
"Guide?" the blonde parrot, drawing out the word like he'd never heard it before.
"Yes, your guide. You are under my supervision, just as I am under another clan member's watch," the teen explained evenly. Before Naruto could question him again, he continued, "Akatsuki. We are like a clan. We look out for each other, sometimes."
"Yes, and I'm a pink fluffy bunny," the boy replied, "What's this clan? Are you trying to take over the world, because I don't care to have the world."
"No," Itachi sighed, "It's difficult to explain, but you are part of the clan now."
"I can leave, Orochimaru did," the boy growled and pointing his finger at the older ninja.
"Orochimaru was forced to leave because he was insane," Itachi said, in a deadly tone. "And it is rude to point your finger." The boy grumbled, crossing his arms in his sitting position. The teen sighed and looked at the boy's wardrobe again.
"You are very rich. That outfit from yesterday was extremely expensive," Itachi sifted through the other clothes, "and now it's dirty. Everything else is very ordinary and clean though."
"Would you leave already?"
"No," Itachi replied, "The teachers don't like you because you are listed as an orphan - a charity case. Odd thing is that your birth and adoption records are sealed. Interestingly, your Sexy no Jutsu is very… accurate."
"Hey, what…" the boy looked warily at the older teen.
"I know who your guardian is. I also know your history, as does the clan." Itachi watched calmly as his new ward groaned and flopped on the floor in a defeated fashion.
"Why me?" he asked his ceiling.
"Because I chose you," Itachi smirked and the boy looked surprised at the teen, "I saw you handle Haku and how Zabuza tolerates you. You attacked the Hokage, even though it was a stupid offensive. That's why."
"Then why did you wait till now?"
"You walked right into one of the clan elders coming out of the Hokage's office, not the best first impression," the red-eyed teen retorted with a slight tone in his voice. Naruto grinned sheepishly. "They only acknowledged you after your display in the cafeteria. I was surprised that you manipulated my brother so well."
"He hates me," the boy stated grumpily. He tried not to care that the boy hated him, but it really bothered him. He'd done nothing to bother the other boy until now.
"Welcome to the club," Itachi shrugged.
"Aren't brothers supposed to at least tolerate each other?" he asked suspiciously.
"I refused to choose him to as an Akatsuki. I get to choose who I want; he's not right for it. He's weak minded."
"You mean selfish, egotistical and totally a jackass," Naruto corrected, throwing his arms up for emphasis.
"You'll learn to live with him, I had to."
"Aren't you supposed to be cold and heartless? Are you just being nice to get me to join?" the blonde asked stretching on his floor.
"Maybe," Itachi smirked.
"Well, it's working," Naruto nodded and yawned.
"Sleep," Itachi touched the door, "Oh, and how did you manage such a high level sealing technique?"
"Magic," the blonde grinned. The older boy scoffed.
The door closed and Naruto was alone. He was alone with a very comfy and inviting bed. He changed and went to sleep dreaming of ramen and beating Sasuke.