Lurker
By ANBU Kakashi
Summery: Kakashi does some investigating of Iruka-sensei.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Warning(s): None.
This is absurd.
That was Kakashi's first thought as he lurked through the halls of the Intelligence Department.
And it was actually an absurd situation. But the same could be said about Kakashi, who was pretty much as absurd as you could get.
It all started with that idiot Gobeka.
Kakashi reported in after taking his team on particularly harrowing mission -- (Kakashi had gotten his right arm {his sword arm at that} sliced to ribbons, so it inhabited a sling) and Gobeka just had to stick it to him that he had the Demon Fox on his team.
And Kakashi snapped.
His reaction could have been for a number of reasons:
A) He was tired. He had been running around like a jackrabbit performing missions for the past year, and it didn't look like it was going to let up.
B) Six months ago had been when Sasuke had crossed the Stupidity Line by going over to Orochimaru, and had nearly gotten every promising Genin and a brand new Chuunin killed when he was extracted (thus exacting more pressure on the teachers). Then, Tsunade nearly died when she reversed the worst of the curse seal. There were a lot of people that were still very annoyed with the Uchiha.
C) Kakashi had never liked Gobeka. Gobeka had been the kid that no one liked, because he was rude, a pervert, and was always stealing your lunch (and that had just been in the Academy).
D) Kakashi had grown much attached to his students. Insulting them was by automatic extension, insulting him.
E) All of the above.
Whatever the reason, Kakashi found himself tackling Gobeka right where he knelt (which was no mean feat with his arm in that sling) and attempting to gut him with his bare hands.
Or, hand, as it were.
Aren't shinobi customs fun?
Well, that didn't go over well with the other ninjas.
Gai, Asuma, and Kurenai, were the ones to haul the silver haired Jounin out to the hall, but they weren't the ones who pulled him off of his victim. Someone else had done that, and Kakashi didn't like that person (even if he hadn't known who they were at the time).
Whoever pulled him off, did so by grasping the back of his collar and wrenching it so that it Kakashi was choked.
It hurt.
A lot.
Not to mention it took forever to get his breath back.
It was while he was blinking the black spots from his vision that his friends proceeded to drag him into the hall.
Kakashi was too weak to fight off his friends, but he wasn't so weak as to notice that the other ninjas parted for the quartet.
"Do you mind telling us what that was all about?" Asuma growled, patting himself down for a cigarette. Finding a bent one, the chain-smoker put it in his mouth and lit it.
"No, actually, I don't."
"And here's the legendary Hatake stubbornness," Kurenai said dryly. "Hold still."
Kakashi obeyed. He would end up doing it anyway, so at least he was able to preserve what tattered dignity he had by doing it right off the bat.
"Perspiration," Kurenai murmured. "Dilated pupil...."
"Are you a Jounin or a doctor?"
Kurenai ignored him.
"You're too stressed," she declared.
"You noticed. I'm so very happy for you."
"There isn't any reason to be cruel, Kakashi," Gai said crisply. "What did happen in there?"
"That jackass insulted Naruto, it pissed me off, and I went a little crazy."
"A little?"
"Yes."
And here he was, sneaking through the Intelligence Department like a rat.
Kakashi was by a nature a very curious fellow, so when he learned that his choker was Iruka; he immediately proceeded to learn everything he could about the teacher.
It hadn't been much.
And that was what led to him going through the Intel building like this.
The Intelligence Department had files on every ninja in Konoha. If Kakashi wanted to get anything about Iruka, he would have to get the files Intel had.
Therein laid the problem.
Ordinarily, Kakashi wouldn't do this.
Ordinarily, he would go through the proper channels, wait for weeks for the department heads to sanitize the file they had on Iruka, and let them give him diddlysquat after months of wading through red tape.
Bureaucracy: Evasion by comfortable chairs.
But Kakashi didn't want a summery of Iruka's life story, he wanted specifics.
He wanted Iruka's grades in the Academy, his teacher's evaluations, the psychiatric evaluations -- everything he could get his hands on.
Now that Kakashi thought about it, it would probably be a good idea to grab the info on Iruka's parents too.
Despite all the preparations he had made, it was all Kakashi could do to keep from screaming when he entered the hall where Konoha's records were kept.
The whole hall rang with chakra, and all that power concentrated into seals, in one place, hurt.
Incidentally, he let out a whimper.
As he wiped his watering eye, Kakashi decided that activating the Sharingan in a place strung this tight would be a bad idea, since it would probably set off some kind of booby trap (since people probably walked through this hallway everyday, it was most likely newly activated chakra that activated the alarm).
Using his free hand, Kakashi pulled the chakra-card that he had filched off one of the guards at the entrance.
It hadn't been difficult getting it. When he had made his approach, he had immediately struck out the idea of killing the guards. It was always messy and loud. And besides, he was on his home turf.
Kakashi had still needed a way to distract the guards; one that wouldn't hurt them.
He had gone through the possibilities, discarding one after the other, before thinking of something more subtle then a rock to the head.
When Kakashi released the genjutsu, the guards were overtaken by a lovely vision as they fell asleep.
Repressing a snicker at the memory, Kakashi unlocked the appropriate door with the stolen keycard, and slipped inside.
R...S...T.... Ah! U!
It was really convenient how Intel alphabetized things.
Fishing the appropriate documents out of the filing cabinet, Kakashi reviewed his alibi.
When I got home after the meeting, I was so tired I fell asleep and didn't wake up until you started banging on my door!
It needed some work, obviously, but it was a basically sound principle, and he was a good enough actor that he could pull it off.
In the meantime....
Unable to keep from chuckling, Kakashi put the files in his deep pockets.
He was a good thief, better than most ninjas. It was a habit born from his bizarre childhood. By the age of nine, all sorts of interesting and valuable articles had had a way of accidentally falling into his pockets.
Name: Umino Iruka
Rank: Chuunin
Posting: Ninja Academy
Occupation: Teacher
Date if Birth: 5/26/3025
Personal History
Iruka was born May 26, 3025. His father, Umino Seiji, was a Jounin, while his mother, Umino Masaka, was a Medic Nin. Iruka is an only child.
He began attendance of the Ninja Academy in 3030 and became a Genin in 3037, at twelve years old.
He took the Chuunin test in 3038 (when he was thirteen) a month before the Kyuubi attacked, but did not pass.
After the Kyuubi attacked he was left parentless, and spent much of his time with Uzumaki Naruto, the carrier of the Demon Fox.
Iruka became a Chuunin in the 3041 (when he was sixteen), when the Leaf had recovered enough to host the exam. Afterwards, he worked diligently and was made an ANBU officer in the 3043 (when he was eighteen).
He performed admirably as an ANBU officer but chose to step down, refusing a promotion to team leader, at the age of twenty.
He chose to become a teacher and has been an instructor at the Academy ever since.
After accepting the Demon Fox into his class, he was put in charge of filing reports on the subject; so far, he has filed none.
Now that's interesting.
Kakashi flipped through the rest of the file.
Iruka had apparently become something of a rebel after Naruto left. He had never had much to do with the official lesson-plans in the first place, but this year he was taking it to extremes.
His class this year aced their tests. The Council decided to make them harder - but his students beat them all....
ANBU? Iruka?
Something to think about.