Lying from you.
Fhb…
R- Drama/Angst/Romance/Lime. This fanfiction has a sufficient amt of profanity, please be warned.
Syn: How many times can we open our eyes to the same mistake? How many times do we have to lie and say its okay? Pills, drugs, rashes, gossip. Everything we feared was created by us…but how, how do we destroy it? BxK.
Class started shortly after. The teacher entered watching the students as he passed.
"Konnichiwa minna-chan" the teacher firmly spoke
"Konnichiwa sensei"
"Mr. Himura please warm up the class…" the teacher spoke.
"Hai" the boy paused looking over the class.
"Ms. Kamiya, Ms. Anagi and Ms. Chung please follow me" the teacher instructed. The ladies abided. Following the teacher he began explaining some top-stuff.
"Ladies on the 25th of this month we're going to have a Female Martial Arts competition, and since our school doesn't have much teenage girls in this hobby, we've chosen you three. Ms. Machimache has been notified about this. She will be the captain for the team."
'Oh goodie'
"Ms. Kamiya you have a lot of power, so I would advise you to keep check on your target not your colleagues." She nodded.
"I would like you ladies to train hard and from today you ladies will dual with boys."
"Awesome" the two girls cheered.
'Oh great, now we have to go whoop boys butts, how fun! Not'
Kaoru sighed. Walking away from the teacher and students she didn't feel like she needed to hear. Walking to the shinnai rack Kenshin's eyes rushed across her. Kaoru held his gaze. 'Yeh you mother-f-er suck on the fact you can not have me'
Closing her eyes she waited for Kenshin to halt the warming up.
"Listen up gentlemen, from today these ladies are going to be your dueling partners. You will not treat them like ladies but like warriors. Do you gentlemen understand?"
"Hai"
"When I called you, you will come up to the right of me. Mr. Sagara, Mr. Seta and Ms. Anagi" the three came up to the right of the man.
"You gentlemen will dual against Ms. Anagi who will be in the center and you two at the ends of the ring" he explained, "begin"
Sano charged into the young girl whilst Soujiro did likewise, Anagi held her ground waiting both skilled boys. She felt the air ripping rapidly; flipping to the right she avoided Sano's punch to her face. Soujiro however was a much faster opponent. He would not let the girl win time to catch her breath. Disappearing momentarily he rematerialized before her very eyes. The teacher shouted, "Ms. Kamiya enter"
Kaoru nodded taking her weapon with her "no weapon Ms. Kamiya" she looked at him oddly, "what?"
"It's Karate you're fighting, not Kenjutsu."
"Fine" she pelt the shinnai by his foot. Entering the ring, she watched as Anagi fell from the lash. Sano came in to kick Kaoru, but Kaoru was just as slick as him. Though he was faster than her, she was smarter than him. Kaoru ran behind him, knowing he could sense her ki, she waited for him to turn around so she would reward him with a,
"KYAIIII" she spin-kick him across the face.
The boys backed up when they saw Sano fly out the ring.
"Mr. Himura, Mr. Shinamori and Ms. Chung enter"
The six martial art students fought till there was no end. Kaoru slammed her knuckles against Soujiro face, repeatedly beating him senselessly on the floor, pushing him out the ring, her new target was Aoshi. Anagi and Aoshi fought off nicely, the man danced around her in an illusional river. Anagi attacked the wrong image only to receive a cuff in her stomach, she crumbled to the floor, seeing Kaoru's contact she didn't seem to quite understand where Kaoru was coming from. Then Kaoru jumped her brows and Anagi understood. Holding Aoshi's foot, Kaoru ran into him executing a perfect roundhouse ------but Kenshin kicked her straight into the stomach sending her falling over on Chung. Both girls fell. Kaoru felt her blood boil.
Screaming out, she ran to him really pissed. Calling her with a slender index finger he seem to smirk at her practice. She ran to him, her knuckles white in fury. Finally having his face bullseye. She sent her fist in which he caught coolly. She raises her foot to kick him but he held onto her leg as well.
"I have you" he addressed
"Asshole" she whispered.
Kaoru used her next hand but he was so fast. Pushing her against the floor, he placed his foot on her stomach, she held his foot and prepared to twist it. He did fall but when she made refuge to get up and finish him, she realized his feet were clasped around hers. She twisted a bit only to scream out.
"Enough…"
'Just when I was getting my grove on.' Kaoru snapped out Kenshin's hold. Slapping him solid across the face all the boys laughed at Himura's live slap.
"Never touch me like that again…"
Walking pass her sensei, she went to her locker-room where she changed off.
Time passed…
Lunchtime was suddenly here.
Kaoru saw Misao sitting by the cheerleaders table, kind of strange but she followed the direction.
"Oye Misao, what are you doing by these morons?" asked Kaoru knowing perfectly well who she was sitting amongst.
"These are my friends thank you very much" came the hot reply…
"Wow wow wow. Back up Misao, when have you became friends with the Cruel-eller squadron?" asked Kaoru uncertainly.
"When you confessed to everyone…that I liked a certain someone. It so happened he found out, and what's great Kaoru it all started with you."
"Girl who in cracks name told you that?" Kaoru asked in disbelief.
"My friends" she pointed out
"Oh I see what's going on. It seems like fox here just got even. Takani when will you learn if you play fire with me I will play back with fire…"
"Suck some crap Kamiya." Megumi rallied out.
"You just made me lose my friend you stubborn bitch" Kaoru cried out…
"And what you gonna do, about it? Tell your friends? Oh newsflash, you don't have any friends" the cheerleader laughed. The other cheerleaders laughing with her.
Misao looked at Kaoru. She was the only friend she had and vice-versa. Kaoru was crumbling inside, Misao knew that. Kaoru was so afraid of everything that she let her teenage obscurities get the better of her. She saw the expression of hurt on Kaoru's face.
Kaoru shook her head looking at Misao in disbelief.
'I use to think I could have one friend in this world God, but even that was too good to have. Why don't they take my heart and burn it, maybe then humanity would enjoy the smell of roses, would have more room without shit like me. It's so wrong ---but then it's so right to them. People are sick, they always will be…no wonder God allowed us to live in damnation…it's such a pity'
"Yeah keep walking lil tanuki"
Kaoru took the blows, she didn't like the feel and she'd say something but she didn't want to cause a scene.
Seeing a vacant table she dropped her plastic tray hard on the table. Sitting plump on the chair, she looked at her food so lost. Poking her peas she examined it lethargically before popping one in her mouth.
"What a loser" the cheerleaders laughed.
Misao felt her heart broke.
'I feel so lost again Kami…like countless times. Why don't I die?' Kaoru dropped her head against the table, a tear fell from her eye, 'why can't I just find myself? Why won't these nameless emotions of hurt ever die, why?'
From lunch, three periods were brought on until it was home-time. Kaoru exited the compound feeling the stray wind of Fall. She sneezed. 'Man do I hate Fall'
Pulling her shirt out her skirt she loosened her tie and untied her hair. She was fedup of being so high for her prestigious school. It was really sickening.
'And this is the cold world that exhales at me' she looked as the people passed her.
Taking out a cigar from her pocket she lit it and began on her way.
'Are we all shadows?' Kaoru passed a woman and child that seem content and left coy by life's standard.
'Or are we all living a sickness we have no choice but to live?' she didn't know. Kaoru could tell rain was coming. The skies were perked in grey rippling for miles. Kaoru didn't mind, it was the only thing she loved. Walking pass some other prestigious students she felt them brush her shoulder harshly. Kaoru turned around to the girl, pushing her back flat on her face.
"Don't be doing me that punk" she puffed the smoke.
'Everybody is looking for something I know that, but sometimes when it passes do they know then what they've been looking for anymore?' Her stagnant blue eyes just watched the world. For everything she could bury she wish she could. But wounds unseen to the eyes were buried deeper than reveries still bleeding and moving with life to race yet another day. The darkness of her past surface every now and then bringing painful images that actually moved in black and white to reverberate soundlessly in the hollow of her heart. Her memories were preserved and her attitude was just a mere product of the infirmity she bore inside. To never be seen or helped from such wounds, she could never accept mankind as something clean when mankind asked to be different yet they were all the same. Wanting to be the same thing. Rich, wicked and powerful…and SICK!!
'Why can no one hear me scream and I scream so much?'
She walked to her apartment that was situated in a Ghetto part of Kyoto. A gunshot went off but that never really scared her.
"Kaoru-chan, what's up yo?"
"Ah…nothing much bro" she did her handshake with her ghetto boys. Though she was more into rock, she listened to rap. Her friends of the Ghetto knew she liked rock, some of the rock she listened to was plain sick like Korn. But she listened to some good rock like Linkin Park. She ran up her stairs kissing the black woman on her way in.
"Hi nana" she hugged the woman.
"Kaoru-chan, how was school?" she asked sweetly.
"Sucks" she teased out. The woman laughed.
"Well I have some cookies made for you and the kids, go share it will yah honey?"
"Sure thing…" taking the tray from the kitchen she went outside where she saw the little children playing together black, mixed, and Japanese. This was the Ghetto a part of society that followed no intricate pattern of living, had no boundaries and the limitations were only meant to be broken. Outcasts indeed they were, straddling affairs which mankind would not stoop to do, so somebody's gotta do it to make a living.
"Hey squirts" she called out. They small children slowly turned to her, "come get your cookies before I eat it" she said flatly. They ran in.
"One for you, and one for you, oh and one for you" she handed the cookies out.
Kaoru manage to save one for herself but then she met a small girl, "Kao-chan, me wants cookie"
Kaoru smiled sweetly, "sure thing sweetheart" she lowered the tray for the little girl. The tot gingerly took the cookie saying thank you most innocently-sweet.
"Your welcome babes"
'This is my sanity in the boundaries of insanity. Perhaps this is my refuge and perhaps a satisfaction…'
Kaoru had grown up in the Ghetto, still outcast from them, not listening to 100 rap, but indulging in gothic and punk styles and music. She wasn't the customary girl at all. 'And I'll never be'
Kaoru sat down on the step just looking out at the small children play. 'There is something I've realize we cannot steal from children, something we can not retrieve when age. I have watched children…watch them in their messy circles play and recklessly be what they are… so carefree. Children…so young, and so susceptible. Vulnerable by all the hands of evil…why must creatures of heaven that was sent to propagate righteousness die in pools of red?'
Kaoru wished not the entire world forgot how to pray…
'I know I haven't. For God loves us regardless…and that counts…here' for the first time after so long had she interlaced her fingers over her heart. 'Here' she smiled. A ball was sent to her face, fluttering open her eyes she saw the children giggling.
"Hey who did that?"
Nobody raised their hand. Giggles trace the group.
"I'm coming to get you guys" she joked. They giggled running away from the bigger girl.
'Not all is bad…just sometimes are. And children as sweet as they, are my summer's berries to enjoy just so small but graciously remembered as memories.'
--
--
--
Another day rises…
'Baby baby baby…make a wish…' thought Kaoru as she past Kyoto Prestigious College for Boys.
'Hm…I need a good ----man…' she thought.
Kyoto Prestigious boys knew her well. Most of them at least. This was the school of Enishi Yukishiro her first player of a boyfriend. Kaoru rolled her eyes, 'man how I wish I could smack him'
Kaoru went past the school feeling somewhat relieved. A few blocks again and she had suddenly arrived at her school. The school was the ugliest prestige school in Kyoto. The walls were dull and mossy. The roof was leaking and the paint was flaking off the wall. A cheap bomb of a school. Entering the compound she showed the guard her school I.D: (An: in my school you have to show this or you can't enter):.
Getting to her locker, she saw a sign on her locker saying 'Happy Birthday Tanuki'
"Wow she cares" opening a locker something fell down. 'A cd?'
Lifting it up she read the cover, 'Evanescence from Megumi and her squad'
Kaoru felt like hurling. Out of all the cds she had to get, she got this one. Mistress of mockery to Goth.
Taking out her math book she slammed her locker shut. Walking to the cheerleader group which consisted of some boys inclusive of Kenshin she gave a smug smirk. Poking Megumi the sassy girl turned.
"Thanks for the cd" she opened the jacket, taking the cd out it fell to the floor. Dragging it across the floor she made sure it was scratched horribly. Picking up the cd she took Megumi's pen from her pocket and began writing down the silvery side, 'Linkin Park next time'. Packing it back into the case she pushed it into Megumi's hands.
"Thanks but no thanks" she paused before she walked away, "your pen" she threw it back at the girl.
Extremely jaded Kaoru retired to the girls washroom. Taking out her anti-depressant pills she realized she was becoming very---aggravated. Again. 'Well that's not new' shakily she took out the pill. Popping it down her throat she washed it down with some water. Looking at herself in the mirror she saw herself. 'My fears are you…' she closed her eyes… 'perhaps I am…'
'Why am I this---this' "SICKNESS" Kaoru screamed out.
'Sickness…sickness…sickness'
'And it echoes because everyone is deaf to me. They can never see it…feel it…taste it…'
Opening the tap she began to wash her face. Closing the tap she assembled her breath. Wiping her face she crazily laughed inside, 'oh well who cares, right?'
No one ever understood us…and no one ever will…
School started off bad and it pretty much ended a drag. No wonderful description for school. School only promoted fashion, classes, rebellion, stress and more stress. Kaoru found herself that afternoon walking home in rain. She didn't mind being soak from the rain, she could live. The aggravation had become worse though. Megumi actually made her day horrible by singing Amy's Lee My Immortal. Kaoru already hated the band because their lyrics were dry and peachy. Amy-Lee had no respect for Gothic and she was just bland.
(An: I am sorry if I have offended strong Evanescence fans, but seriously their band is upsetting…not to mention fake)
Kaoru popped a chewable depressant pill in her mouth. She was so fedup of fighting off her depression. School did not help suppress her flickering enigma, all it ever did do was brew it deeper. 'And I'm to die in peace? HA! Somebody shoot me…'
"Hey Kamiya…" came a voice. Kaoru already couldn't see where she was walking so just turning around to catch who was calling out really confused her. Straining her eyes, she did manage to catch his eyes. 'Enishi…oh idiot you got a lot of nerve to come talk to me…'
She saw him approaching with some of his boys. Somehow she got the message to not stay around. Taking the opportunity of distance she made a run for it.
'Why the hell am I running?'
She ran through the lanes of stores then to the back of the buildings. Kaoru wanted so badly to stop and fend herself but she knew now why she ran. It was because Enishi was a narcotic beast. It wasn't hard to read, know—whatever. He did it once he could very much do it again. He wasn't thin and frail but more preferably very built and proud. His skin was tanned and sizzled like Latino boys. His hair simply defied gravity as it seem to perk silver-blonde streaks. The complement of having perfect turquoise orbs burned every one of his features alive. So imagine how she felt when she had liked him?
'I felt good because one I was in love and two I felt bad coz I was bitched'
Kaoru ran faster, skidding into a street, she turned back to see if they were approaching. Yikes and they were. Running faster and faster she didn't seem to pay attention to where she was running. Then before she knew it (BAM) she hit something or someone and fell flat. Kaoru was sent flat on her buttocks. Locking at the person's feet, she recognized the school material. 'Uh-oh, they trapped me…'
Looking up she locked gazes with a very old someone she knew.
"Battousai-san?"
"Kaoru-chan?"
"HAH! You're caught, little kitty" Enishi spoke evilly.
"What's going on?" Battousai asked
"He---he---idiot boys wants me" she scuttled behind him.
"Oye and what's this? Battousai? How are you? Fine I hope…the chick please" Enishi came forward.
Battousai did not respond.
"Look man I don't have time to waste, just hand me the girl before I mash that pretty face up" Enishi cracked his knuckles.
"Piss off"
"I hope you're not talking to me? Coz brother if you are I will surely have you dead?"
Battousai just stared at Enishi coldly.
"Leave her alone Enishi…"
"Oh and whose going to make me, your momma?" before Enishi could finish his sentence Battousai had firmly clasped his hand over the taller man's throat.
"Death wants to hold you, are you ready for the hardest blow you'd get?" voiced Battousai lowly.
Kaoru watched as Enishi began making choking-noises. His face was already looking a slight-pale-blue colour.
Enishi was already losing his vital sign of sight. He began seeing blackish-like. Kenshin would kill him then and there but Kaoru held him back
"For everything he's done I'm afraid bastard-boy doesn't deserve to die."
"Pity" Battousai let the coward go. Enishi held his throat baffled and somewhat angered.
"You're going to regret this Himura…"
"Not as much as you're going to regret your future death… but then what is there to fear in death?" his voice was intoned to silver-harp-strings. Bellowing low tunes of ice. In those moments the rain stopped.
Enishi walked out the alley leaving the both to be.
"Oh he's gone. Phew!" Kaoru wiped her brow.
"Lone time no see Kaoru-chan"
"Same. How has it been?" she asked coolly.
"Fine…you know me. Quiet…cold…hey it's me" he leaned against the wall.
"Yeah. I do. So you're keeping good I see" she weakly smiled.
"Yeah…look Kaoru--- I'm ---I'm sorry what my bro" he was hushed off when she held off a hand.
"Look, what's done is done. You don't have to apologize for anything…okay? It wasn't your fault" she weakly smiled again.
"I don't care, I'm sorry he hurt you…-------so what now? Where are you in the chapters of love?" he arched a brow.
"Well, love and I aren't married any longer, we just got a divorce. Sniff sniff sniff. Oh well it deserved a hike. I'm not really into the love thing anymore. I'm too seen, to targeted ---too destroyed from it" she trailed off into a harsh whisper
"Coming from Kamiya Kaoru I am most certainly shock to hear this" he gave her a deep gaze of awe.
"Yeah I know it's shocking. But---I---aghh---your bro devastated me. I was destroyed literally" she explained out in a frustrated scream.
He turned his head from her… "so will you die from that?" came his cold and challenging reply.
"No…but I'd say your goddamn question is bruising. I'd be hurt wouldn't I? Aren't I a girl?" she asked loudly…
"And what does that say? That boys don't feel anything. Bull. Boys feel but they just don't scream it out like a girl that's where the emotional nonsense comes in from girls. Psychologically girls go through more…but so that doesn't boys don't have ordeals as well."
Kaoru clenched her hands. Gritting her teeth she felt like slapping him solid, 'keep talking and I'll hit you bucko'
"What the heck are you talking about?" Kaoru asked reversibly.
Battousai sighed to himself. "Forget it..its nothing…" he began walking away.
Kaoru bit her lips, 'oh goodie and we didn't even have tea and said proper tea-set manners'
"Wait" came her curt voice.
He stopped…
"Please tell me why…why your brother dislikes me so badly?" she asked sadly
He shrugged feeling weight on his chest. 'How can I answer that?'
"Truth be told…" he turned around at her… "he never loved you…he didn't think you had what he wanted"
"So---he"
"He used you" he finished what she couldn't
Kaoru shut her eyes, ' I wish I could fall now and never stand again…'
"You're targeted aren't you? For various reasons, reasons I don't need to know…but you are nevertheless aren't you?" he asked softly…
She swallowed the lump, "I can't sleep…I can't breath without thinking of him. I have to fear your school-mates…and I feel so seen inside out. Why can't I be?" she trembled…
"You said you're not in relationship" he went to her. Placing a hand to cheek, "well I'll be your boyfriend…"
Kaoru's eyes fluttered open in shock, 'what the heck just happened? I wasn't playing attention.'
"I can't stand to just watch you hurt. From now on, you won't have to fear. I'll protect you…keep your safe. I just can't stand to see you get hurt when I know I could protect you from such possibilities. Yeah I know it's a bit fast to comprehend. But I was never stereotype or conventional for that matter. But what the heck say what?! I want you to know my stepbro is an ass, but that's what you get when you have a bad mother." He pointed off
Kaoru was still in shock, 'come again?'
"Well I want you to go home little lady, tomorrow is another day…sleep well because I don't want you dying on me" what he said really didn't help her. It just promoted confusion
"Look…Battousai, I appreciate what you're trying to do. I know I'm a bit pitiful, and yeh I won't deny it. But please feeling sorry for me won't help me" Kaoru battled on.
"Who said I was feeling sorry for you? Who says I don't like you…?" he asked
"What the heck? Look, it's too soon! I just had a break up…" she shouted back…
"Look chick, your butt is in shit and I don't think you want to be more bait for my school-friends. I don't know the reason why you're targeted but I guess it was for a real sick reason. College boys never run after high school chicks, that's kinna weird. But what you did must have been an obsession. At least that's all I can tell. So I have some last news for you, I don't care what you're going to say, so case close I am your boyfriend and flick other boys. Besides if I don't protect you, it's not like you will." He touched her nose.
Kaoru just listened silently. She was taking time to accept this rash notification. It was not like she ever messed with Battousai. Never did and never would. She knew he was one of the most lethal boys in Kyoto Prestige College for boys. His somewhat elliptical half slash moon eyes that shone golden disks of lava roared that he was more than the devil and lion in one. His flaming bleeding hair of fire, fell in his face idly, casting a shadow against his eyes. His face was cut to masculine and feminine perfection, with a clean one slash on his cheek it brought out his red hair. His high pony flew like wings above his back. Kaoru had to admit he was cute. He was perhaps the hotter side to Kenshin. I mean Kenshin was hot, he had beautiful violet eyes but he had the features of a docile girl. Kaoru perhaps got a bit irked of that only feature.
"Kaoru" Battousai whispered her name…
She bit her lips. Averting her eyes slowly to him, she saw the message on his face saying 'I am there…'
'But it's too soon. It hurts accepting…hang on I didn't accept…'
"If you don't want me as your boyfriend I don't care then. But you are my girlfriend. Just let me protect you…and you don't even need to care for me. I don't deserve your care true, but please I just wanna make sure you're safe"
"Battousai please"
"I know you feel like a house of cards, just pulling at you is making you crumble. I don't wish to be new pains and reasons of hurt. I just only want to see you happy, safe. You don't need to care or even love me…never if you want" he spoke realizing she had been quiet for so long.
She turned her face to him. Walking to him she placed a hand around his neck, "it's hard to try again, but I guess trying never hurts."
He grinned. "no it doesn't"
"So you promise me your hot butt will be there for me?" she asked grinning. Her eyes were literally melting into his.
His hand came around her waist, "yes I swear"
"Well then I guess fine. I'll be your girlfriend…and your loving one too" she stuck out her tongue.
"Great…"
"Yeah…" then came the silence, 'kami we're staring. What to do now? I don't know…'
"Well um Kaoru, you should be getting home…"
"Yeah…I should…well see you soon…" she let go…
"Yeah. Check you laters" he kissed her cheek watching how she blushed.
"Bye…" she whispered…
Again Kaoru turned her back on those she loved. It was weird how Battousai, a man of steel and demeanor of ice had broken from that to this, contortion of sweetness. Kaoru turned to see him looking at her… 'I guess I deserve to be more the girl you want huh? But you should know, I was never conventional as well'
Kaoru wished heartache would not find her because she technically was not searching for it. Again memories surface of Kenshin and Enishi. The things those two boys did damage her whole-heartedly. The amount of shame they had made her build inside herself, had cause total break-down and meltdown. She could withstand little and the little she could, often got her tempered and burning a fit. Sometimes it was easier to just say we hate everyone instead of living the lies we do.
Kaoru walked back home, in the lone, dark streets of Kyoto. The pedestrian lamps rinsed light over her form as she walked back to the Ghetto building she called home sweet home. 'Caught in the arms of insanity, sanity longs to win ---question is, do we want to grasp it…even that we don't know'
Kaoru disappeared into the dark streets.
An: Here it is the next sad chapter to my sad angst fic. It's very empowering with questions that a teen would ask. Well lets just say this is my last fic. I'm finishing it. Hence I am also quitting fanfiction for a year. Please be sure to email me. When I have time from school I will email you back. This is my last fic that explains how I truly feel inside---how much I wanted to be remembered, but I can't…
Anyways…
Take care…