Hi Alicia,
I edited the whole thing (whew). Thanks for asking me to read it! I fixed the spelling and added periods and things like that. Your spelling is not as bad as you think--it's mostly small grammar things that make the difference. I can show you what I mean on Thursday. That's great that you posted your story for everyone to read!!!
--Dian
Here's the whole thing corrected:
.................................................................................................................................................
( I won't like to say I think this is kind of scary... the 1st part )
Note: This is my 1st Fic o.o; and I have very, very bad spelling. GOMEN! -Sniffles- But I tried really hard to fix as much of it as I could. -Pouts- Now that you know I can't spell, can you please not rub it in my face cause I know, so please don't leave me a review saying that I can't spell or that I spell like $hit. Oh, and unlike every one else I'm not going to ask you to review. -Eye roll- It's really annoying when I read fic's and they say at the top REVIEW! PLZ So just review if you want to. Oh, and I don't own Naruto Lol. I'm just using the char's. They're not real IC (in char).. But I'm trying. XD. Sorry, I'm not too good at this yet.
----------------
~
A heavy fog surrounded the blond girl as she walked looking around her. She wouldn't see much with this thick fog while she was walking. Along the roads of the village she saw no one and heard no one it felt like she was walking in 3 inches of water. She wanted to look down to her feet, but fog made her not want to, not knowing what she might find on the ground. It felt somewhat like water but thicker, and there was a weird scent in the air that made Ino shiver with fear. " Where could everyone have gone? " she asked herself as she kept walking.
It felt as if Ino had walked for ever now, not seeing anyone or much of anything until she came across a dark figure in the mist looking at her with red eyes. That was as much as she could really make out--a dark someone with red eyes... As she got closer, she could tell he was a bit taller than she was. She stopped a few feet in front of the now decided boy. "Sasuke-Kun? " She squinted her eyes looking at him. "I think that's Sasuke-kun. What's he doing here? Where did he come from? Was he standing here before?" Ino kept asking herself questions.
The boy turned to face Ino. With those red eyes he looked at her. "Why is she just standing there?" the boy thought to himself, looking at the blond girl with a smirk. From the boy's point of vew, there was no mist, just a girl standing in front of him. And what was on the ground that they were standing on? "Sasuke-Kun? " he said out loud. " If that's what you call me..." He glared at the girl with those red eyes. Why was she just standing there...?
"Sasuke Kun!" Ino yelled, shaking, and tried to throw herself into his arms, but he seemed to disappear into thin air and move back by 5 feet and re-appear. Before Ino knew what was coming, she fell flat on her face into the water like liquid. She pulled herself out as she sat there and screamed, "Blood! It's blood! Blood everywhere, it's everywhere!" She was yelling at the top of her lungs. She shivered and tried to stand up, feeling as if her life were being taken from her as she moved. She looked at the boy as streams of tears rolled down her face.
He looked at her and smirked. "What about the blood?" He gave the blond girl a death stare and took a few steps towards her. She was shaking for her life. The Sasuke-looking boy put his hand into the blood. "Those poor villagers. Too bad they were no match for me." He pulled his hand out of the blood and licked the red blood from his fingers. "And now it's your turn!" he yelled at her, as a reddish light made a glow around him. He started walking to her with a kunai in his hand.
"Sasuke-Kun, don't! " she yelled. She wanted to run more than anything in the world, but it was as if the blood of the people he had killed were holding her there, so she couldn't move. "Sasuke, please!" she yelled, as the boy put the kunai to her arm and slowly started to cut her soft skin. She screamed bloody murder. It hurt more than anything she ever felt before and more! The blood she was sitting in soon slowly pulled her down. Blood started to roll off her arm--more blood than anyone should have in their body, but it just kept coming out, and she was almost all the way pulled into the blood. She cried, "Sasuke-Kun! I'll never forgive you!" The fog slowly started to lift.
~
"Ahhhhhhh!" Ino was yelling in her sleep. She jumped from the bed, her heart beating a million times every second. She landed on the floor, still screaming and crying as loud as she could. She got up and grabbed the nearest heavy thing and threw it at the window. As the glass shattered, she ran about the room some and took a candle and threw it at the mirror. The mirror shattered all over the floor. She ran around, cutting her feet on the glass. She fell to her knees. Blood was on the floor from her cut feet. "Blood!" she yelled, crying, "Make it go away! No more blood!" She screamed! Ahh!
Shikamaru was walking away from the hospital. Before he got far enough to take even five steps, he heard a window shatter and screams that sounded like Ino. He ran back inside, running to Ino's room, which was towards the back. No wonder he was the only one who heard her. Good thing he was taking a short cut from the back door to leave. When he flung the dooor open, Ino was on the floor, glass everywhere. He looked at Ino, who was saying, "Just kill me now. Stop killing me over and over again... No more blood. Just let me die..." He ran to her and picked her up from the glass, holding her in his arms. "Ino-Chan..." He was so scared for her, he didn't know what to say. He couldn't even think of this being troublesome.
Being picked up, Ino started to close her eyes. " Please be an angel to come take me away...," she said, trying to stay awake. Ino closed one eye and opened the other to see Shikamaru. "Shikamaru... are you dying, too?" she asked, before she fell into a deep sleep in his arms. Though she was sleeping, she muttered, "please take me away... angels.. let me die and leave this place... I just wanna go." Tears were rolling down Ino's red cheek as she muttered to herself. These were the last words Shikamaru would ever want to hear from Ino's mouth.
Shikamaru pulled Ino closer to him and walked out into the hall with her. Why wasn't anyone there? he asked himself. What if Ino was dying--would they just not come...and leave her there... "I'm going to get in trouble for this later. I just know I will..." He walked down the hall towards the back door, and someone was there. More the reason Shikamaru thought he should just take her with him. These doctors weren't doing their job. Shikamaru just sighed and walked out the back door with Ino and started off to his house. "Hopefully no one will think I'm gonna rape her or anything," he said to himself. This will be very troublesome if someone sees me. He just took all the short cuts he knew of to get to his house and put Ino in his bed... "This is bad..." He walked into the other room, then came back with a bowl of water and a rag and put it on Ino's head.
~
"God?" Ino was in an all-white place. "Where am I now? Did the angel take me here?" she asked herself, as she sat down and pulled her knees up to her chest and put her arms over the knees and her head on top of her arms. "I just...." she whispered, but didn't finish. She just sat there asking herself questions she couldn't answer. Questions like, Where am I? Am I dead yet? Did Sasuke kill eveyone in the village? She shivered as she pictured Sasuke in her head.
~
Shikamaru then got a first-aid kit and sat down at the end of the bed. "Darn... I'm not a doctor. What was I thinking when I took her?" he muttered to himself, looking at Ino's cut-up feet. Good thing all of the glass didn't stay in her feet. Shikamaru had pulled out at least 17 glass pieces before he cleaned the cuts and wrapped them up. "Yeah, very bad idea... What am I going to do now?" he said aloud to himself. Should I..." Shikamru walked downstairs and saw a note on the table from his dad that read:
Dear Shikamaru,
Hey, Sonny, your mom and I have to go on a long mission with Mr Yamanaka. We ask that you keep an eye on the girl and watch over her.
Two eyes would be best, Shika dear. We are trusting you to keep the girl happy while her dad is gone. ["Oh Mom," he thought.]
Yes. Yes, you're the man for the job. Watch over my princess for me. Thanks.
Yamanaka Inoshi
Son, we should be gone about a week. We are the only people who can do this mission. I'm sorry we didn't get to say goodbye--we had to leave right away. We were told it might take longer for this mission, but we hope to be back in a week or so.
Nara Shikato.
Oh, god... "This is way bad... I have a girl in my house and her dad is gone..."
Shikamaru never thought this would happen... Choji and his mom and dad had gone on a trip and wouldn't be back for 3 weeks. And team 7 went to the Sand Village with team 8. I'm going to have to take care of Ino-chan till she gets better... With a sigh he walked back up to his room and sat in a chair by the window. Why... why did this happen to her? She was fine, but now.. I don't even know what's wrong with her, and I have no one to turn to for help. I have enough trouble watching over her in the day, but now... It was going to be a 24-7 thing. Shikamaru thought the whole thing was troublesome. He couldn't have left Ino with people who didn't even act as if she was there. You would think someone would have heard her screaming... Shikamaru looked up at the clouds through the window with his lazy eyes. "I'll just have to wait till she wakes up to find out what's really wrong with her," he said to himself, looking out the window. Then he glanced at Ino. "Please wake up soon," he muttered.
Shikamaru got tired of waiting after a couple of hours, so he went into the other room to see if there was any food. It was likely his mom and dad took most of the food and left him money. The only thing wrong with that was Shikamaru didn't want to leave the house and Ino all alone. Remebering what she did to the room at the hospital and how she ended up hurting herself in the end, Shikamaru rolled his eyes. It's not like I can take her with me," he thought to himself as he tried to come up with some kind of idea... but failed. He could only think of one way he would leave her here in his room, but the idea was something a perverted man would use. Normally, this was not his idea, and it made him feel weird thinking about it. "Tie Ino down to the bed... but then I'll feel like a pervert ." Was this the only way?
As Shikamaru walked up the stairs, it hit him. He could ask Hagane Kotetsu. It was something he didn't want to do, but he really didn't want to tie Ino down to the bed. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and walked to his front door, opened it, and sat in the doorway with a sigh. Hagane Kotetsu walked past his house like five times a day, most likely because Shikamaru was a new Chuunin. As his dad said, "You need to be checked up on." Shikamaru smiled as he said his dad's words. When would people learn that he wasn't a baby anymore? Shikmaru sat there and dozed off.
"Hey, Shikamaru?" Kotetsu tapped him on the shoulder. "Come on. Wake up, kid." He looked down at Shikamaru. Kids these days, sleeping in their doorways. Some one could just walk in and take everything from him as if he was as blind as a bat, he thought to himself. Not that most kids fell asleep on their doorstep. "Hey, Shikamaru?!" He gave him a little kick with his foot.
"Huh, what!?!" Shikamaru looked up, trying to see. Dang, it's bright... He shook his head. Hai, what am I doing again? He looked up at Kotetsu. "Oh, it's you. I was looking for you." Shikamaru got up and looked at Kotetsu, then rubbed his eyes. "Are you checking on me again? When will you guys learn I'm not a baby?" Shikamaru asked, looking around. What was I gonna ask him again?
"You were looking for me? It looked more like you were sleeping to me." He looked at Shikamaru while he rubbed his eyes. "You acted like a child, that's why I still check up on you. And why are you sleeping on your doorstep with your door open? You know that's a very childish thing to do--leave the door open like that." He looked down at Shikamru. What's he thinking now? he asked himself.
"Well, no, I was waiting for you to check up on me, because I need to ask you a favor. A big favor." Shikamaru walked inside and waved for Kotetsu to follow him as he started to walk upstairs. "You coming?" Shikamaru looked at him for a minute. Why is he standing there, anyway? "Oh, but the favor is a favor for me, and you can't tell anyone."
As Shikamaru started up the stairs, Kotetsu walked in the door and stood there for a minute, rolling his eyes. Even after I told him, he still leaves the door open, Kotetsu told himself as he shut the door and looked back at Shikamaru. "How big of a favor is this going to be? It's not as if you've got a dead girl up there in the bedroom, right?" Kotetsu started up the stairs after Shikamaru.
Darn, I should have closed the door. Now he's going to think I'm a kid. Shikamaru stopped at the top of the stairs. "A dead girl? No, maybe a sick girl... but first you need to tell me you won't tell anyone." Shikamaru stopped Kotetsu before he got to the top. "This is important. If you say you'll do me this favor, you can't rat me out." Shikamaru looked at Kotetsu.
Kotetsu got stopped when he was 85% of the way up the stairs " Yeah, sure. This better be good. This is my only day off this week, and I'm still working a bit today. That's why I'm checking up on you." Kotetsu looked at Shikamaru, who didn't get the answer he was looking for. "Just tell me what the favor is. I'm not going to tell anyone. Okay, there."
"All right." Shikamaru started to his room. When he got in, he put the rag back in the bowl of water and got most the water out and put the rag back on Ino's forehead. "She was at the doctor's. She was screaming but no one came to help her, and I, uh... just took her, I guess." Shikamaru put his hand on Ino's cheek.
Kotetsu looked at Ino, then at Shikamaru. "All right, first off, why do you need my help for this?" he asked, looking at Shikamaru. "Open that window." Kotetsu pointed off and put his hand on Ino's other cheek like Shikamaru was doing before. "Has she been this hot the whole time?" he asked, glancing over to Shikamaru.
"There's nothing to eat in the house, so I want to go shopping real fast...but at the doctor's, she almost killed herself on glass. She broke a window and a mirror." Shikamaru walked to the window and opened it. "She was hotter before when I first brought her here. So, Kotetsu, can you watch her for a little while?" Shikamaru looked over at Kotetsu.
"Do I have a choice at this point?" Kotetsu put his hand behind his head. "Are you going to trust an old guy like me to watch a young sleeping girl?" se said in a joking voice, as he looked at Shikamaru, who gave him a dirty look. "I was only joking," Kotetsu said, seeing that Shikamaru didn't like that joke at all. "Oh, this is Ino Yamanaka, huh? Her dad's out, ain't he? Is that why you have her?" Kotetsu tried to stop with the jokes for now.
"I wouldn't trust you, but you're like an, uh, older brouther...checking up on me all the time," Shikamaru said, looking at Kotetsu after giving him that dirty look. Then he turned and looked out the window. "Yeah, eveyone we know that are really our friends or close to being our friends ain't in the village right now. I'm all Ino's got, and she has to live with it. I don't think she cares much right now, since she can't really have a say at this point."
Kotetsu nodded. "Okay, Shikamaru, you better get going. We can talk more when you get back. You don't have time to mess around." Kotetsu looked at Shikamaru as he turned his back to him. Kids... this Yamanaka girl must be really important to him or somthing to care that much... "Are you going or not? I'm not going to rape the girl, for god's sake." Kotetsu glared at Shikamaru, who turned to look at him once more. "I'm not a kid raper, Shikamaru." I have women for that job, he thought.
Shikamaru didn't answer Kotetsu. He just went downstairs into the other room and got some of the money his mom and dad had left for him and walked out of the house. "I don't like leaving you like this, Ino," he whispered to himself. "I'm sorry." Shikamaru walked off to the store feeling weird leaving someone like Kotetsu with her after he made that joke.
--------------
Okay "Thank You" Dian !
This should be better for you all to read
I edited the whole thing (whew). Thanks for asking me to read it! I fixed the spelling and added periods and things like that. Your spelling is not as bad as you think--it's mostly small grammar things that make the difference. I can show you what I mean on Thursday. That's great that you posted your story for everyone to read!!!
--Dian
Here's the whole thing corrected:
.................................................................................................................................................
( I won't like to say I think this is kind of scary... the 1st part )
Note: This is my 1st Fic o.o; and I have very, very bad spelling. GOMEN! -Sniffles- But I tried really hard to fix as much of it as I could. -Pouts- Now that you know I can't spell, can you please not rub it in my face cause I know, so please don't leave me a review saying that I can't spell or that I spell like $hit. Oh, and unlike every one else I'm not going to ask you to review. -Eye roll- It's really annoying when I read fic's and they say at the top REVIEW! PLZ So just review if you want to. Oh, and I don't own Naruto Lol. I'm just using the char's. They're not real IC (in char).. But I'm trying. XD. Sorry, I'm not too good at this yet.
----------------
~
A heavy fog surrounded the blond girl as she walked looking around her. She wouldn't see much with this thick fog while she was walking. Along the roads of the village she saw no one and heard no one it felt like she was walking in 3 inches of water. She wanted to look down to her feet, but fog made her not want to, not knowing what she might find on the ground. It felt somewhat like water but thicker, and there was a weird scent in the air that made Ino shiver with fear. " Where could everyone have gone? " she asked herself as she kept walking.
It felt as if Ino had walked for ever now, not seeing anyone or much of anything until she came across a dark figure in the mist looking at her with red eyes. That was as much as she could really make out--a dark someone with red eyes... As she got closer, she could tell he was a bit taller than she was. She stopped a few feet in front of the now decided boy. "Sasuke-Kun? " She squinted her eyes looking at him. "I think that's Sasuke-kun. What's he doing here? Where did he come from? Was he standing here before?" Ino kept asking herself questions.
The boy turned to face Ino. With those red eyes he looked at her. "Why is she just standing there?" the boy thought to himself, looking at the blond girl with a smirk. From the boy's point of vew, there was no mist, just a girl standing in front of him. And what was on the ground that they were standing on? "Sasuke-Kun? " he said out loud. " If that's what you call me..." He glared at the girl with those red eyes. Why was she just standing there...?
"Sasuke Kun!" Ino yelled, shaking, and tried to throw herself into his arms, but he seemed to disappear into thin air and move back by 5 feet and re-appear. Before Ino knew what was coming, she fell flat on her face into the water like liquid. She pulled herself out as she sat there and screamed, "Blood! It's blood! Blood everywhere, it's everywhere!" She was yelling at the top of her lungs. She shivered and tried to stand up, feeling as if her life were being taken from her as she moved. She looked at the boy as streams of tears rolled down her face.
He looked at her and smirked. "What about the blood?" He gave the blond girl a death stare and took a few steps towards her. She was shaking for her life. The Sasuke-looking boy put his hand into the blood. "Those poor villagers. Too bad they were no match for me." He pulled his hand out of the blood and licked the red blood from his fingers. "And now it's your turn!" he yelled at her, as a reddish light made a glow around him. He started walking to her with a kunai in his hand.
"Sasuke-Kun, don't! " she yelled. She wanted to run more than anything in the world, but it was as if the blood of the people he had killed were holding her there, so she couldn't move. "Sasuke, please!" she yelled, as the boy put the kunai to her arm and slowly started to cut her soft skin. She screamed bloody murder. It hurt more than anything she ever felt before and more! The blood she was sitting in soon slowly pulled her down. Blood started to roll off her arm--more blood than anyone should have in their body, but it just kept coming out, and she was almost all the way pulled into the blood. She cried, "Sasuke-Kun! I'll never forgive you!" The fog slowly started to lift.
~
"Ahhhhhhh!" Ino was yelling in her sleep. She jumped from the bed, her heart beating a million times every second. She landed on the floor, still screaming and crying as loud as she could. She got up and grabbed the nearest heavy thing and threw it at the window. As the glass shattered, she ran about the room some and took a candle and threw it at the mirror. The mirror shattered all over the floor. She ran around, cutting her feet on the glass. She fell to her knees. Blood was on the floor from her cut feet. "Blood!" she yelled, crying, "Make it go away! No more blood!" She screamed! Ahh!
Shikamaru was walking away from the hospital. Before he got far enough to take even five steps, he heard a window shatter and screams that sounded like Ino. He ran back inside, running to Ino's room, which was towards the back. No wonder he was the only one who heard her. Good thing he was taking a short cut from the back door to leave. When he flung the dooor open, Ino was on the floor, glass everywhere. He looked at Ino, who was saying, "Just kill me now. Stop killing me over and over again... No more blood. Just let me die..." He ran to her and picked her up from the glass, holding her in his arms. "Ino-Chan..." He was so scared for her, he didn't know what to say. He couldn't even think of this being troublesome.
Being picked up, Ino started to close her eyes. " Please be an angel to come take me away...," she said, trying to stay awake. Ino closed one eye and opened the other to see Shikamaru. "Shikamaru... are you dying, too?" she asked, before she fell into a deep sleep in his arms. Though she was sleeping, she muttered, "please take me away... angels.. let me die and leave this place... I just wanna go." Tears were rolling down Ino's red cheek as she muttered to herself. These were the last words Shikamaru would ever want to hear from Ino's mouth.
Shikamaru pulled Ino closer to him and walked out into the hall with her. Why wasn't anyone there? he asked himself. What if Ino was dying--would they just not come...and leave her there... "I'm going to get in trouble for this later. I just know I will..." He walked down the hall towards the back door, and someone was there. More the reason Shikamaru thought he should just take her with him. These doctors weren't doing their job. Shikamaru just sighed and walked out the back door with Ino and started off to his house. "Hopefully no one will think I'm gonna rape her or anything," he said to himself. This will be very troublesome if someone sees me. He just took all the short cuts he knew of to get to his house and put Ino in his bed... "This is bad..." He walked into the other room, then came back with a bowl of water and a rag and put it on Ino's head.
~
"God?" Ino was in an all-white place. "Where am I now? Did the angel take me here?" she asked herself, as she sat down and pulled her knees up to her chest and put her arms over the knees and her head on top of her arms. "I just...." she whispered, but didn't finish. She just sat there asking herself questions she couldn't answer. Questions like, Where am I? Am I dead yet? Did Sasuke kill eveyone in the village? She shivered as she pictured Sasuke in her head.
~
Shikamaru then got a first-aid kit and sat down at the end of the bed. "Darn... I'm not a doctor. What was I thinking when I took her?" he muttered to himself, looking at Ino's cut-up feet. Good thing all of the glass didn't stay in her feet. Shikamaru had pulled out at least 17 glass pieces before he cleaned the cuts and wrapped them up. "Yeah, very bad idea... What am I going to do now?" he said aloud to himself. Should I..." Shikamru walked downstairs and saw a note on the table from his dad that read:
Dear Shikamaru,
Hey, Sonny, your mom and I have to go on a long mission with Mr Yamanaka. We ask that you keep an eye on the girl and watch over her.
Two eyes would be best, Shika dear. We are trusting you to keep the girl happy while her dad is gone. ["Oh Mom," he thought.]
Yes. Yes, you're the man for the job. Watch over my princess for me. Thanks.
Yamanaka Inoshi
Son, we should be gone about a week. We are the only people who can do this mission. I'm sorry we didn't get to say goodbye--we had to leave right away. We were told it might take longer for this mission, but we hope to be back in a week or so.
Nara Shikato.
Oh, god... "This is way bad... I have a girl in my house and her dad is gone..."
Shikamaru never thought this would happen... Choji and his mom and dad had gone on a trip and wouldn't be back for 3 weeks. And team 7 went to the Sand Village with team 8. I'm going to have to take care of Ino-chan till she gets better... With a sigh he walked back up to his room and sat in a chair by the window. Why... why did this happen to her? She was fine, but now.. I don't even know what's wrong with her, and I have no one to turn to for help. I have enough trouble watching over her in the day, but now... It was going to be a 24-7 thing. Shikamaru thought the whole thing was troublesome. He couldn't have left Ino with people who didn't even act as if she was there. You would think someone would have heard her screaming... Shikamaru looked up at the clouds through the window with his lazy eyes. "I'll just have to wait till she wakes up to find out what's really wrong with her," he said to himself, looking out the window. Then he glanced at Ino. "Please wake up soon," he muttered.
Shikamaru got tired of waiting after a couple of hours, so he went into the other room to see if there was any food. It was likely his mom and dad took most of the food and left him money. The only thing wrong with that was Shikamaru didn't want to leave the house and Ino all alone. Remebering what she did to the room at the hospital and how she ended up hurting herself in the end, Shikamaru rolled his eyes. It's not like I can take her with me," he thought to himself as he tried to come up with some kind of idea... but failed. He could only think of one way he would leave her here in his room, but the idea was something a perverted man would use. Normally, this was not his idea, and it made him feel weird thinking about it. "Tie Ino down to the bed... but then I'll feel like a pervert ." Was this the only way?
As Shikamaru walked up the stairs, it hit him. He could ask Hagane Kotetsu. It was something he didn't want to do, but he really didn't want to tie Ino down to the bed. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and walked to his front door, opened it, and sat in the doorway with a sigh. Hagane Kotetsu walked past his house like five times a day, most likely because Shikamaru was a new Chuunin. As his dad said, "You need to be checked up on." Shikamaru smiled as he said his dad's words. When would people learn that he wasn't a baby anymore? Shikmaru sat there and dozed off.
"Hey, Shikamaru?" Kotetsu tapped him on the shoulder. "Come on. Wake up, kid." He looked down at Shikamaru. Kids these days, sleeping in their doorways. Some one could just walk in and take everything from him as if he was as blind as a bat, he thought to himself. Not that most kids fell asleep on their doorstep. "Hey, Shikamaru?!" He gave him a little kick with his foot.
"Huh, what!?!" Shikamaru looked up, trying to see. Dang, it's bright... He shook his head. Hai, what am I doing again? He looked up at Kotetsu. "Oh, it's you. I was looking for you." Shikamaru got up and looked at Kotetsu, then rubbed his eyes. "Are you checking on me again? When will you guys learn I'm not a baby?" Shikamaru asked, looking around. What was I gonna ask him again?
"You were looking for me? It looked more like you were sleeping to me." He looked at Shikamaru while he rubbed his eyes. "You acted like a child, that's why I still check up on you. And why are you sleeping on your doorstep with your door open? You know that's a very childish thing to do--leave the door open like that." He looked down at Shikamru. What's he thinking now? he asked himself.
"Well, no, I was waiting for you to check up on me, because I need to ask you a favor. A big favor." Shikamaru walked inside and waved for Kotetsu to follow him as he started to walk upstairs. "You coming?" Shikamaru looked at him for a minute. Why is he standing there, anyway? "Oh, but the favor is a favor for me, and you can't tell anyone."
As Shikamaru started up the stairs, Kotetsu walked in the door and stood there for a minute, rolling his eyes. Even after I told him, he still leaves the door open, Kotetsu told himself as he shut the door and looked back at Shikamaru. "How big of a favor is this going to be? It's not as if you've got a dead girl up there in the bedroom, right?" Kotetsu started up the stairs after Shikamaru.
Darn, I should have closed the door. Now he's going to think I'm a kid. Shikamaru stopped at the top of the stairs. "A dead girl? No, maybe a sick girl... but first you need to tell me you won't tell anyone." Shikamaru stopped Kotetsu before he got to the top. "This is important. If you say you'll do me this favor, you can't rat me out." Shikamaru looked at Kotetsu.
Kotetsu got stopped when he was 85% of the way up the stairs " Yeah, sure. This better be good. This is my only day off this week, and I'm still working a bit today. That's why I'm checking up on you." Kotetsu looked at Shikamaru, who didn't get the answer he was looking for. "Just tell me what the favor is. I'm not going to tell anyone. Okay, there."
"All right." Shikamaru started to his room. When he got in, he put the rag back in the bowl of water and got most the water out and put the rag back on Ino's forehead. "She was at the doctor's. She was screaming but no one came to help her, and I, uh... just took her, I guess." Shikamaru put his hand on Ino's cheek.
Kotetsu looked at Ino, then at Shikamaru. "All right, first off, why do you need my help for this?" he asked, looking at Shikamaru. "Open that window." Kotetsu pointed off and put his hand on Ino's other cheek like Shikamaru was doing before. "Has she been this hot the whole time?" he asked, glancing over to Shikamaru.
"There's nothing to eat in the house, so I want to go shopping real fast...but at the doctor's, she almost killed herself on glass. She broke a window and a mirror." Shikamaru walked to the window and opened it. "She was hotter before when I first brought her here. So, Kotetsu, can you watch her for a little while?" Shikamaru looked over at Kotetsu.
"Do I have a choice at this point?" Kotetsu put his hand behind his head. "Are you going to trust an old guy like me to watch a young sleeping girl?" se said in a joking voice, as he looked at Shikamaru, who gave him a dirty look. "I was only joking," Kotetsu said, seeing that Shikamaru didn't like that joke at all. "Oh, this is Ino Yamanaka, huh? Her dad's out, ain't he? Is that why you have her?" Kotetsu tried to stop with the jokes for now.
"I wouldn't trust you, but you're like an, uh, older brouther...checking up on me all the time," Shikamaru said, looking at Kotetsu after giving him that dirty look. Then he turned and looked out the window. "Yeah, eveyone we know that are really our friends or close to being our friends ain't in the village right now. I'm all Ino's got, and she has to live with it. I don't think she cares much right now, since she can't really have a say at this point."
Kotetsu nodded. "Okay, Shikamaru, you better get going. We can talk more when you get back. You don't have time to mess around." Kotetsu looked at Shikamaru as he turned his back to him. Kids... this Yamanaka girl must be really important to him or somthing to care that much... "Are you going or not? I'm not going to rape the girl, for god's sake." Kotetsu glared at Shikamaru, who turned to look at him once more. "I'm not a kid raper, Shikamaru." I have women for that job, he thought.
Shikamaru didn't answer Kotetsu. He just went downstairs into the other room and got some of the money his mom and dad had left for him and walked out of the house. "I don't like leaving you like this, Ino," he whispered to himself. "I'm sorry." Shikamaru walked off to the store feeling weird leaving someone like Kotetsu with her after he made that joke.
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Okay "Thank You" Dian !
This should be better for you all to read