Author: Shirley
Title: I Love You
Rating: PG13-ish
Content: angst, character death
Word Count: 808
Character/Pairing: Seamus, Neville/Seamus implied
Summary: Seamus deals with the loss of a friend who could have been more.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Notes: This is in the same universe of "Possession" and "Sweet Surrender." This one, however, is set before the other two, while Hogwarts is still a functioning school.
"I forgot to tell you
I love you
and the night's too long
and cold here without you"
"I Love You" Sarah McLachlan
Seamus Finnigan was the first of the Gryffindor sixth year boys to wake up that morning. He normally wouldn't have been up before the very last minute. However, there had been some sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him to wake up early that day.
It wasn't long before he found out what the cause of that terrible feeling was.
Ron Weasley and Harry Potter were the next to wake. They were supposed to be meeting Hermione in preparation for a DA meeting that was happening that afternoon. Dean Thomas was last.
Seamus would never forget that morning. It was one of the most, if not the most, horrible days of his life.
The four boys grudgingly got out of bed and dressed in their school robes. They weren't quite sure why they were still having classes, seeing as Lord Voldemort seemed to be gaining ground, but they didn't complain. Classes were something that could at least help distract them from the thought that any day now they would have to go into battle. Or at least, some of them would.
Dumbledore had been putting off sending Harry out for as long as he could, but he and his friends were smart enough to know that wouldn't be much longer.
And Seamus along with Dean, Ron, and Neville had sworn they would go wherever he did.
Even if that meant they would be led to death. It was at least something worth dying for.
They had agreed to let Neville sleep as long as he possibly could considering none of them had been sleeping well lately. Neville was having nightmares almost as frequently as Harry.
They fought over who would wake him. (Neville was slightly cranky when woken up before he was ready.) Seamus lost.
Neville looked like he was sleeping.
But Seamus knew that he wasn't. His chest wasn't moving. He wasn't breathing.
Seamus tried to react. Tried to scream. Anything. But he couldn't. He just stared down at Neville's lifeless body, unmoving.
"Oy, Finnigan! Hurry up over there, Snape will take points if we're late!" Dean sounded far away.
Seamus didn't say anything.
"Seamus?" Everything was starting to come back into focus. Harry was standing less than a foot away, "are you alright?"
"I…" Seamus managed to force out.
Harry walked slowly to the four-poster bed that Neville had been lying in.
"How did this happen?" He said quietly to himself, "How could I have let this happen?"
Seamus wanted to speak. Tell Harry whatever had happened it wasn't his fault. Everyone had been preparing themselves for the day when someone would be killed inside Hogwarts.
Seamus hadn't prepared himself for this. He didn't think he would be the first one to see the body. He didn't think it would be Neville.
One of his best friends. Someone he had known for six years. Someone he talked to everyday.
Neville.
Seamus felt his knees buckle and settled onto the floor next to Neville's bed. Harry quickly told Ron and Dean to go tell Dumbledore. They did.
While Harry paced the floor trying to work out how this had happened, Seamus tried to convince himself it wasn't happening.
It was a dream. It had to be a dream.
Not Neville.
Why Neville?
He closed his eyes and felt tears spill down his cheeks.
This isn't happening. This isn't happening. Not now. This can't happen.
Seamus had never seen this coming. No, that's a lie. He had. He had, as many of the students, had dreams about his friends dying. But he never thought it would actually happen. Not to Neville. He had never done anything.
Aside from help Harry in every mission he had gone on.
Thinking back it made sense, but he still didn't want to believe it. He couldn't believe it.
If Neville was really gone, that meant he would really never get to say what he had been trying to say for the longest time.
He had watched Neville go from the scared, forgetful first year to one of the bravest people he knew. The bravest person any of them had known. He had grown close to Neville. Closer than he ever thought he would.
He wanted to say that. All of it. To Neville. He wanted to say that he cared about Neville more than he thought he could.
And now he never would.
Because he had waited. And Neville was gone.
Neville was gone. Neville wasn't coming back. Ever.
And Seamus couldn't say those things. He would never get to say them.
Seamus breathed in deeply. He had come to a decision. He was going to find out who had done this. It couldn't have been Voldemort himself. It was someone in the castle. And he would find out who. And he would kill that person.
For Neville.