Harry Potter and the Summer of Change
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of harry potter so don't sue i got enough problems already, read now for this is the only disclaimer one for every story.
Harry felt like no one could really understand him. His grief and mourning for Sirius for such a long time were regarded as signs of weakness and insanity. Didn't they relize that harry himself saw what was happening to himself and couldn't stop it?. No they couldn't understand, just because he was the famous Harry Potter it meant that he wasn't human he had to bounce back from everything, since he was supposed to vanquish the dark lord. Harry really did agree with them but he couldn't get himself to snap out of this mood he had fallen into since he had come to privet drive. He couldn't muster anger or fear at voldermort. No frustration at how his friends were again doing nothing to help his situation just 'giving their words of comfort'. That's all they could do he had gotten better advice from Dumbledore who had said nothing to Harry since they had talked that fateful day in his office. The worst part was the feeling of hopelessness, Harry felt a emotion deep in him influencing his every move so that nothing was done without the feeling of, nothing he could do would make things right, he thought about how he had messed up all through his life, everything he had done right something told him either someone had helped or it was dumb luck. No anger grew from this admission if anything he felt that this life of his was meant for someone else to live, and by mistake he had switched with someone else. While this feeling in turn led him to remember all the people that had died because of him and the list would start. 1)his parents, 2)Prof. Quirell, 3)Cedric Diggory, 4)Sirius. After these thought's he felt a raw feeling like nothing Harry had ever experienced, not even the dementors had provoked and aroused such deep feelings within him. It was at times like this that harry felt the worst and to stop himself from beating himself up but mostly just to occupy time so he wouldn't think such things. Harry would exhaust himself using the old weights that Dudley used to use when getting himself into shape for his boxing career (A.N.: he now went to the gym cuz there's nothing to be embarrassed of). Harry used all the weights Dudley had to lift, pull, curl, and bench to work himself to the limit and be so tired he would go to sleep too tired to dream of things best not dreamed of.
The day of his birthday Uncle Vernon called him into the living room after dinner. "Um... er....listen boy are you sure your ...um...all right then?" asked Uncle Vernon, he said this last part rather quickly,
"Yes I'm fine thanks," muttered Harry in low voice.
"Well I'm not doing anything to harm, so you can tell those friends of yours that your ok and everything's fine" said Vernon swinging his arms with forced cheerfulness.
Harry walked slowly up the stairs when he got to his room he looked around, glanced at the ever-growing pile of letters at his bedside table and flopped on his bed.
Harry lay listlessly curled into a ball on his bed the night of his birthday thinking dully about his life in general. He thought about his first memories with the Dursleys (he could never remember his parents) he remembered how his letters had come, the day Hagrid came to take him to school. Meeting his best friends Ron and Hermione his studies at school then came the memory of his meeting Sirius for the first time, that brought a lump to his throat but he swallowed hard thinking those were the happy times of me and Sirius together. Then came another memory of him and Sirius laughing together at snape, that slimy git. Then he saw Sirius dueling with Bellatrix a surge of anger and hatred rose through him like no other he had felt, except when he had felt Voldermort's when he had lost the prophecy because of Harry and his friends. The feeling of hatred at Bellatrix coursed through Harry's veins with a vengeance. Harry couldn't contain himself he jumped to his feet looking wildly around the room, his eyes fell upon his wand and his face lit up with an expression of triumph, he grabbed it and looked around the room searching for an outlet for his anger. His gaze fell upon a rat which hedwig had just brought in which was still alive he strode over to the cage and took the rat from his owl he then put it on his desk and shouted "CRUCIO".
The spell didn't work and the rat scuttled off the desk and onto the floor the rage in Harry built up to a crescendo he heard only a dull roaring in his ears he jumped from his kneeling position by the desk and took aim with his wand he made himself put all the hate, anger, and the grief he felt for his parents and Sirius death, the frustration of no one understanding his pain. In his head he concentrated like never before to want to kill the rat before him. He raised his wand and howled "AVADA KEDAVRA".A massive bolt of green light erupted from his wand threatening to blow him away with the backlash but Harry held his body rigid and poured all the power he had in him towards fueling the bolt of power coming out of the wand. It was like suddenly he was looking at himself through a third person view, he saw himself with a face contorted with hate, with a massive jet of power leaving his wand with a bang like no other and not just killing the rat but continuing through the floor blasting a hole in the floor about ten feet wide. The spell didn't stop there it continued to the living room totally obliterating all traces of the furniture there. Then went deeper into the basement finally blasting a massive hole in the sewer lines down there and the pipes erupted with sewage and the house shook on it's foundations. Then came the silence it was so utterly quiet that Harry jumped when he heard suddenly came several loud cracks in his bedroom and there appeared Remus Lupin, Dumbledore, Shaklebolt, Moody, Tonks, Mr. Weasley, Snape, and Prof. McGonagoll. There was silence for a moment while they regarded Harry with something close to awe as they took in the damage he had done with one spell to the entire house. The looks that dawned on their faces were those of understanding, and hope that maybe Harry could vanquish the dark lord. The silence had yet to be broken by anyone as Harry stared defiantly at them and they responded with looks ranging from anger to frustration to understanding.
Prof. McGonagoll was the first to break the silence "Are you alright potter, did you get hurt?"She asked crisply. She had been a tad hurt when harry had given her the silent treatment.
"I'm fine everyone though I appreciate your concern, even yours Snape" said Harry dryly.
"That's Prof. Snape to you harry" said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye he continued "though you could dispose of the Prof. when talking about me, but I'm getting off topic I don't see any lasting damage, so now your okay do you have any concerns?"
"Well yes Professor what about the house, It looks really ruined, I mean am I going to get punished for what I did? I didn't really mean it, I needed to do something to get myself to snap out of this repetitive pattern I'd gotten myself into," said Harry in a hurried voice while looking down at his shoes.
"Perfectly understandable Harry, after all you are only human if you wouldn't react like this I would be most perturbed" said Dumbledore with a violent twitching of his beard, he continued "I will talk to the Minister of Magic to grant pardon in this exceptional case nothing for you to worry about".
"And your sure I won't get punished for this uh...relapse" said Harry shamefully.
"Yes harry everything will be fine but I'm afraid I can't say the same for your friends they seem to be most angry at your behaviour towards them, and I'm sure they would be delighted to hear from you" said dumbledore warmly "till then it won't be to hard to fix the house shall we get to work ladies and gentleman?" asked Dumbledore.
Before long the house looked brand new with harry's room having ended up enchanted to have more space so he could move around a bit more. The committee left a little while later Remus made as if to stay but seemed to decide against it in the end and left with the others with a good night to Harry.
Harry flopped down on his bed feeling suddenly feeling spent and dreadfully tired but he knew that at times like this it was most important for him to have nutrition so he went downstairs and fixed himself a snack. While he was eating the Dursleys came back from their shopping spree and Uncle Vernon started inspecting the house to check if anything was out of place though Harry didn't know what he would do if he found some thing out of place for Uncle Vernon was scared to death of Harry's wizarding connections.
He came back from his inspection and said gruffly "well everything seems to be order boy, if you had messed up anything well you'd be in big ...well...uh...... never mind then" he said as he saw Harry finger the wand sticking out of his pocket. Harry finished eating said good night to everyone at the table and ran up the stairs three at a time. Vernon looked at his wife "he sure does define the 'mood swing' don't you think?" said Vernon.
Upstairs though harry felt like jumping for joy, he felt like he had turned over a new leaf. He looked around his room and his gaze fell upon the album that Hagrid had put together for him in his first year at Hogwarts. He looked at the picture of his parents smiling and waving happily at him and Harry felt a swell of pride looking at them in their prime with both of them being powerful magicians(an:cheesy i know) in their own right. He now didn't blame himself for their death's he now knew that Voldermort was responsible for their deaths and that sparked an idea, but was it possible, hmm maybe, harry quickly made his way over to the stack of letters making a mental note to read and reply to all of them the next day and he saw that yes Miranda Marchbanks had sent a letter, good that helped his plan. He sat and wrote a feverish letter to Madam Pince and to Miranda and sent both with Hedwig. Harry watched her flying till he couldn't see her any more, then did 50 push ups out of habit stripped to his boxers and went to sleep dreaming of a certain girl who captured his heart but did not know of his affections yet.
(A.N.: hey hope you all liked the chapter. Hope you all follow the story maybe a little confusing but bear with me I have one thing to ask R&R pls)
(A.N. 2 :I need a beta reader if anyone is up for it i'd be grateful contact me at my e-mail address, it's posted by my bio thanx)
This is for people who reviewed my earlier chapters, want to be famous all you got to do is read and REVIEW pls ppl throw me a friggin bone (my little finger is by my mouth)
padfootmoony13: sorry but the site is a first and i posted before i could fix things properly.Also harry is suffering a deep depression and he's cold to everyone especially lupin who's now trying to take the place of sirius. thanx for suggestion i'm with you all the way
myownlittleworld: thanx for the review you don't know how much it means to me Thank You.