Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related items do not belong to me. Only the Story and it's related original ideas and characters are mine. No copyright infringement intended.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Philosopher's Stone, Chamber of Secrets, Prisoner of Azkaban, Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix.
Distribution: Please ask, the answer will likely be yes.
Feedback: Is a gift. It's nice to give.
E-mail: kyizifanfic hotmail. com
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xxxxx
Last night was what I would call uncomfortable. I knew that Draco found Gryffindor Tower brash and unwelcoming and, despite our unspoken truce, I knew there was no way to get him to stay there. He took comfort in his own surroundings and, somehow, I was under the impression that that would be enough for me to stay in his rooms. I hadn't, however, planned on staying in his bed.
That comment could really be taken the wrong way if anyone ever heard it. Luckily, Draco is asleep and there's no one else here, so I have nothing to worry about. His bed is surprisingly large, I'm really going to have to have a chat with McGonagall about the unfairness of that…then again, I really have no wish, whatsoever, to explain how it occurred that I was in Draco Malfoy's bed. She wouldn't likely listen, anyway and I can only imagine the look on my House Head's face right before she expelled me.
Shivering at the thought, I pull the thick duvet tighter around my shoulders and wonder what on earth I ever did to deserve this. You see, I figure that it must have been something pretty, bloody awful. So much so, that I'm reverting to my Inner Ron. I really hate it when he uses 'bloody' after every other word. But I digress. I really would like it explained to me what exactly I did to end up in Draco Malfoy's bed, wearing Draco Malfoy's old Quidditch shirt, with Draco Malfoy sprawled all over me and, to top it all off, what on earth did I do to deserve the naughty thoughts that are accompanying this predicament?
They can't be mine. They must be Draco's. But then, that would mean that Draco was thinking about me and… No. I will not finish that thought. He is asleep, however, so it would be reasonable to blame it on his subconscious. It would be Freudian, right? He's just-
Will you shut up, please?
I'm cringing. I know I am. I peek through one eye and find myself looking into the eyes of a very sleepy looking Draco Malfoy as he slowly comes to. He looks really sweet like that. Like an adorable little boy.
He's frowning at me. I guess he heard that. I'm also guessing that he's still too asleep to assess either the thought – and come up with a suitable retort – or the situation – and freak out accordingly. Well, as much as a Malfoy ever freaks out, of course.
I realise that I've been staring into his eyes for quite some time, but he makes no move to break the contact and I'm not willing to either. There's just something in his eyes this morning. Something…unguarded. He's not awake yet, but I can see the realisation slowly creeping into his eyes. The arm that's banded around my waist is also beginning to tense.
Yep. There goes the deer in the headlight's look. What the hell are we supposed to do now?
Well…
Oh, I can hear the cogs turning. I don't particularly like where they're turning to as I have, in the last twelve hours or so, yet to master that blushing thing. However, it would give us a good out…and Draco a fright if I were to…maybe supply a few of those images…
I allow myself a smirk as Draco blushes. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I made Draco Malfoy blush. I will, however, kill anyone who repeats those thoughts I sent his way and Draco knows it, therefore we're both safe. He won't tell anyone that I'm not the prude I seem and I won't tell anyone he blushed.
Well, good morning, Elizabeth, he says and I can see that he's attempting to regain a hold on the situation. He pulls away, a little embarrassed when he realises that he had been holding on to me tighter than a little boy with his favourite cuddly toy. Now there's a bizarre image, Draco Malfoy and a little cuddly bear. I'll bet it would have a little sailor outfit or something and be called…Alexander?
I frown at him and he swiftly gets out of the bed and heads into the bathroom. It's cold. I pull the quilt in, patting it down where his presence left a dip. Cuddling into the pillows a little more, I direct my frown towards the bathroom. He knows what I'm thinking, knows that I'm curious, but I know that he won't tell me. We're not really friends. I heard him thinking it last night and I know he's right, but…he understands me better then any of my real friends do, so I guess I wish we could be real friends.
Malfoy's do not have attachments.
The voice is gentle, not really being sent towards me, but there for me to pick up. Again, it's not really Draco's voice; it's his father's.
Malfoy's will show no weakness. Malfoy's are proud. Malfoy's will do what must be done, no matter the consequence. Malfoy's do not need anyone…or anything.
I sigh. Even cuddly toys?
Malfoy's do not need anyone.
Malfoy's must be very lonely. I want to cry. I won't and he won't comment on the fact that I want to because that would be to admit that he has a weakness. I really want to kill Lucius Malfoy…again, that is.
I find it strange to think that I killed Draco's father. I feel like I owe him an apology, despite what I knew the man to be. He was about to kill Draco. He would have killed a lot more people. He would have tried to kill Harry again… There wasn't really a choice, but I still feel…guilty. It never leaves you, despite the fact that Harry and Ron like to pretend it does. It doesn't matter that the men and women we killed were considered 'evil', we took life from them. To me, that's not our job to do, but it had to be done to save others.
I don't blame you.
I can't help but smile. Not because he doesn't blame me, I kind of already knew that from his thoughts. No, I'm smiling because he sent that thought to me.
xxxxx
Are you trying to annoy me?
Is it working?
Take a deep breath. Deep breath. I have no idea what caused his momentary lapse into niceness earlier, but I really want it to happen again. I'd take waking up next to him every morning if it meant he'd stop being so damn petty. Okay, that came out wrong. Very wrong.
Draco, stop smirking.
You enjoy waking up next to me, Eliza?
You're impossible.
Thank you.
I don't know why you're being so high and mighty. I know those thoughts this morning were yours. I actually didn't know and, if he hadn't allowed me to catch him off guard with that, he would have known that as well. However, I did catch him off guard and he has turned that charming shade of pink that I discovered earlier.
You should have been a Slytherin, Granger.
One; don't call me 'Granger', bizarrely, I think I prefer Elizabeth, and two; I don't think I'd have been accepted as a Slytherin, I am, after all, a Mudblood.
There's no incrimination in my thoughts and I know he knows that, however, I still felt that little twinge of shame. I guess he really is starting to think of me as a person instead of a Mudblood. I really hate that word. I know it's just a word and, I guess, the reason I keep using it is so that it hurts less when other people do. I only wish it worked.
Then don't use it at all.
You do.
He sighs. I can't hear it, but I know he did. Grang- Look, I was raised to use it. To me, Mudbloods were poison. You were poison amongst Wizardkind. I'm not sorry for thinking that. I can't be sorry for it. It's the way I was raised. It's what I was trained to believe, if you will. You are a Mudblood to me, it's just what you are…I guess, I just no longer consider it the poison I once did.
That's hard for you, isn't it?
He's sneering again, but I don't think I'm back to square one, just yet. Well, why don't you try to train yourself to believe that everything you thought you knew was wrong and see where you…
I hope my smile doesn't seem as smug as I think it does. He rolls his eyes and sighs again.
Okay, fine, you had to train yourself to believe in magic and wizards, but lets not forget that you were eleven. You were still at the age where learning was easier.
I send him a few thoughts, a few memories and he looks a little confused. I shrug at him and settle further into the large armchair in the corner of his room. We did another basic scout around the castle earlier but found nothing. This place is so cold that retreating to his rooms again seemed like the best option. I can't believe it's turned into this little heart to heart.
Draco, it wasn't easy for me. I know he's aware that I launched into the explanation before he could comment on the 'heart to heart' thought, but I don't give him the chance to say anything. You don't understand what it's like for me. Like you said, it's the way I was raised. My life has always been based on facts, on knowledge. How do you think I felt to have that all pulled from under me. I might have been eleven years old, Draco, but I've always been older than my years.
Ten going on forty, he says with a little grin. I hadn't realised that I'd been broadcasting my memories, but he thought it with the exact inflection that Uncle James always used. He's getting a little too good at picking into my thoughts.
What can I say; I'm a talented guy.
I'll bet you are. Oh, my God. Tell me I didn't just think that.
Oh, you thought it, Elizabeth, you most definitely thought it.
Okay, that is not fair. I get it now. He's justifying being allowed to be attracted to me by thinking of me as a different person. As Hermione Granger, I'm thrown into the category of 'don't even think about it', but as Elizabeth, he can pretend I'm not who I really am. Well, it doesn't work that way. It's not allowed to…not unless I can do the same!
My middle name is Lucius.
I really hate that smug grin. You're right. That does help. This way I never have to worry about thinking of you in any way other than-
Be nice.
Like you always are, you mean?
Touché.
Sighing, I try to forget that I'm beginning to get really cold again. Look, can we just get looking through these books?
He nods and I'm grateful. I really don't have the energy to keep this up. My nerves are getting more frayed by the moment and I want my head to myself again. I'm not used to people picking up on the most insignificant little thoughts and laying them out for debate.
Thinking of me and chocolate like that deserves to be put up for debate, Eliza, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you taking advantage of me like that.
Like you and your 'screwing in the Great Hall' fantasy?
Lets get through these books shall we?
xxxxx
Okay, this sucks.
For once, Draco, I agree. Someone up there really hates me. No. It's official. It's bad enough that the way out lies in the hands of Professor Snape and we can't do anything at all to help it along, but it's worse that nothing can be done for a full week. Whoever heard of simmering dragon scales for a week? It's stupid.
Yes, Lizzy, very stupid.
Lizzy?
He shrugs and smiles a little. I really like that smile. I'm tired. Indulge me.
I never thought I'd see the day.
I doubt you'll ever see 'the day' again, so make the most of it.
This is surreal. I don't think I've ever seen you so…out of character.
He shrugs again and sits up, crossing his legs. I'm not sure if I want to believe what I'm seeing. Draco Malfoy is sitting cross-legged on his bed and he's actually grinning at me. I think this is how he gets his kicks. Confusing helpless Gryffindors.
And she finally gets it.
Rolling my eyes, I cross the room and sit next to him. Okay, tell me. You're thinking too fast for me to catch everything. Plus, I'm really curious about Snape…what do you want to do?
Well, I was just thinking.
Don't hurt yourself.
You're learning, Eliza, you're learning.
Seriously. Something has to be done about that smile. It should come with a government warning. Okay, it's getting wider. Draco, stop listening to me. I wish I could hear him laugh for real, not just in my head, despite the fact that it's aimed at me.
Okay, listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday, about not having to pretend. And I was thinking…we also have a wonderful opportunity.
Okay, that sly, calculating Slytherin look is in his eyes and his mind is an open book. I'm not sure if I should even pretend that I don't want to do what he's suggesting. It would be pointless, after all.
It would indeed. I can read your mind, Elizabeth. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. We shouldn't waste it.
Okay, but first-
No ground rules, Eliza, that defeats the purpose.
Why is it that when he calls me that it's like he actually is talking to another person. I mean, Hermione Granger would never consider doing what I'm about to…right?
No pretending. But if you have to, let's make a deal.
What?
This isn't Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy. It's Draco and Elizabeth.
I think I like that. His grin is infectious and so is his attitude. If he can pretend that there's nothing in the way of our being friends, why can't I pretend that there's nothing to stop me from actually letting go?
No reason.
No reason at all. I grin.
I really like that smile.
I don't say thank you. I wasn't meant to hear that. My smile widens anyway.
xxxxx
Are we really going to do this?
Yes, Lizzy, we are. He turns and winks at me. That should be illegal. Come on, I can read your mind. Whilst I check for every possible thing to embarrass my Godfather with, you can find out the answer to that question that's been nagging you for months. Snape: boxers or briefs?
Snape is your Godfather.
This is the thing you chose to fixate on? I was hoping for a little blushing there.
Sorry to disappoint you, Draco. I guess I'm becoming immune.
Take away all my fun, why don't you?
I'll try. Shaking my head, I push him out of the way. He may be a whiz at Potions and Arithmancy, but Charms is most definitely not his strong point. Struggling to ignore the fact that I'm about to break into one of my Professor's private chambers, I wave my wand and concentrate on a few simple spells. Whilst I doubt that Snape has mere 'simple' spells guarding his private chambers, The Shadow Lands seem to possess little High Magic. When you figure it out, as we did earlier, everything here is easy to get into…well, easier.
I grin at him as the wall slides open and he rolls his eyes at me. Come on.
I jump as his hand grabs mine and pulls me into the room. He's like a kid at Christmas. I frown as that errant thought causes a few memories to surface for him. It seems that Christmas isn't a happy occasion in the Malfoy family. Draco may get everything he wants for Christmas, but it kind of takes away the fun when you already know everything you're going to get. He gets everything he asks for, but I wonder how many people realise that what he really wants is something that he didn't ask for.
It can't help that my Christmas memories have been running through my mind for the last few hours. He's hidden it well though; I had no idea until now. My first thought when we discovered we had a week to wait was that we'd barely make back it in time for Christmas. I had been planning to go home this year. My last Christmas at Hogwarts and I had been planning on going home. Odd, I know, but, with Voldemort gone, Harry was going to visit his new surrogate Godfather/Father, Remus, and Ron and Ginny wanted to spend Christmas with their family. After loosing Charlie in the war, they had pulled together every holiday. Me? I guess I just wanted one last Christmas with my parents where I could still be considered a little girl.
With that figure, not likely.
My eyes widen and I am so glad I'm currently nosing in one of Snape's drawers, or Draco would see me blush. Although, I get the feeling that he's blushing as well. I really don't think I was meant to hear that one. Amazing how embarrassment has caused this drawer to suddenly become fascinating.
No, Draco, it's not his underwear drawer!
Why bother denying it, Elizabeth, you want to know.
A slow smile slips over my lips and I know he's slowly getting what I'm thinking. I turn around and the look of horror on his face says it all.
No. I take it back. Don't you dare.
But, Draco, I really want to know. I run into Snape's bedroom, glad that I was close to the door and he was at the other end of the room. He would have caught me otherwise. I quickly pull out the drawer as he reaches the room and grin at him.
Oh, my God, I really hate you.
You were right, Draco, I really wanted to know.
But I didn't!
I shrug and smile sweetly. You were the one that suggested I look.
And you were the one evil enough to send me the visuals. He is my Godfather, I do not want to be thinking about his underwear.
Well, you did…oh, my God. Covering my mouth with my hand, I smother a laugh. Tell me I'm not seeing-
You're seeing. Draco has turned around and is looking at the same thing as I am. He grins at me and I can see more mischief than both Weasley twins put together. This is going to keep me for the rest of my life.
You had better share, I did, after all, see them first.
You did, it would only be fair. He smirks. But then, I am a Malfoy.
Oh, no. My grin matches his, I know it does because, somehow, I can see what he's seeing right now. You're not a Malfoy at the moment. You're just Draco and I'm Elizabeth. Remember?
And who says that Draco is any more honest and fair when he's not considering himself a Malfoy?
I do. I think the sincerity in my voice caught him off guard. I know my smile disarmed him. I've never really considered that before; that my smile could ever disarm any man. I'm hardly desirable; I'm just me. Bookish, frizzy-haired, has no gender, Hermione.
No. Right now, you're Elizabeth…
He doesn't finish his thought. But he doesn't have to.
xxxxx
TBC…
I still don't know what I'm doing with this one, but I hope I'm doing something right! All feedback would be appreciated and I most certainly want to know if you think I'm taking Draco just a little too much out of character. The idea is that they're both a little OOC because they're being themselves, no inhibitions, but if it's too much, let me know.