Wild-filly: Wow! ^_^ Many thanks to everyone who has reviewed! Unlike
my other fics, I'll try to keep the disclaimer and random ramblings to a
bare minimum so I can complete this fic as soon as possible – my "holiday
homework" and challenge; can I actually start and finish a fanfiction
within a deadline?! My guess – not a chance, but either way on with the
update! ^_^
Disclaimer: still don't own...
***
Part II
***
Meanwhile, Ryou, Tristan and Mokuba were ambling several shelves away, discussing one of the more meaningful questions of the world.
"Why on earth do you want to get him a jigsaw puzzle?!"
"I dunno... it's something isn't it?"
"I suppose he wouldn't he able to hurt anything with it...."
"I'm not so sure about that. I spent ages building this jigsaw on the floor of Seto's study so that he'd have a chance to see it, except he came storming in through the door and didn't look where he was going. I had no idea jigsaw pieces were that slippery..."
Tristan blinked, "what do you mean by that?"
Mokuba glanced away from where he had been momentarily dazed by the overwhelming pink realm that was the Barbie section, "so much pink... can't escape... sorry what was that, Tristan?"
"What do you mean by that jigsaw is slippery?"
"Oh that... big brother came crashing through the door and slipped on the puzzle while I was nearly finished. He went skidding across the room and nearly went flying out one of the huge windows behind his desk. I told him to be careful, but did he listen? Nooooo..."
Mokuba stared at Ryou and Tristan in confusion. Both were hanging onto the nearby shelves almost choking with laughter. The image of Kaiba's expression in their heads as he skidded on a jigsaw puzzle and went hurtling towards an open window was priceless. Swiftly regaining his calm demeanour, Ryou smiled sympathetically at the confused Mokuba and continued scanning the bright shelves.
"If you want to get him a jigsaw Tristan, that's fine with me. My house doesn't have any large windows upstairs at least. You may want to check for a choking hazard though". There was an unusually evil glint in the docile hikari's eye; perhaps this was the closest thing to revenge he'd ever had.
Tristan almost sighed with relief; this shopping business was not something he enjoyed on a regular basis, and either way, hanging around the toy department of a mall was not the coolest thing to be seen doing. Unless of course you are a member of a weird group of friends, at which case it is perfectly normal to head for toy departments as often as possible and do unnatural things to the plastic animal figures. **A/N: *cough* please don't ask **
"What kind of jigsaw do you think he would like?"
Mokuba took off in the direction of the board games section, returning moments later with a candy-pink box and evil grin firmly in place.
Tristan stared down at the box he had been handed, "uh... Ryou do you think he'd like a jigsaw called 'Barbie and Forest Friends'?"
Distracted, Ryou replied, "yeah, I'm sure he'll like it; just make sure that it's safe for under threes".
Tristan stared at the box apprehensively lest the pinkness of it prove contagious. He could scarcely believe that Mokuba had actually been brave enough to pick it up, let alone be seen carrying it. Gingerly turning the offensive item over and scanning the recommendation label, he nodded his head – the pieces were about the size of dinner plates... not that he wouldn't put it past the thief to somehow swallow one.
Mokuba surveyed Ryou in surprise, wondering just why the hikari had agreed to his mocking selection. It turned out that Ryou was no longer there.
"Hey Tristan! Where'd Ryou go?"
"Huh?" Finally torn from the hypnotic powers of the evil pink box, Tristan's intellectual response fell only on Mokuba's ears. Ryou indeed was no longer within earshot. Mokuba capered down an adjacent aisle, "let's split up and look for him!"
As the hyperactive child vanished from view, Tristan privately disagreed – there was no way that he was going to be seen carrying a Barbie jigsaw puzzle around the little kids' section of a shopping mall. I mean, honestly! No, he was going to search like fury for the nearest cash register, purchase the stupid thing and ask for the thickest, heaviest and most macho bag to put it in. If anyone saw fit to try and steal his bag later, then he would deny all ownership of it.
That decided, Tristan jogged off in the direction he prayed was the right one for the cash registers. Sadly, he was mistaken and instead finally stopped at the very back of the shop, resulting in his having to double back and further increase his exposure to the crowds of children and perplexed adults as he ran past, face scarlet with humiliation. Life just sucks, doesn't it? That's why we all love it so...
So where had Ryou got to? Mokuba finally spied the albino adolescent talking to a sales assistant by the train section of the shelf catacomb. He blinked, taking in the cheery dialogue between the assistant and duellist as they discussed a common affection for electric trains. Trains? Ryou?? Well that was unanticipated...
Glimpsing the younger Kaiba, Ryou called him over, beckoning to the large box stood beside him.
"Come and have a look at this!"
Mokuba sidled over, staring at the box curiously, "what is that, Bakura?"
Ryou grinned, eyes closed in delight, "it's the coolest train set ever! See... it has all these little train tracks and electric signs and little people and carriages and train lights and bridges and plants to go on the outside and gravel for the tracks and- "
The overjoyed hikari was forced to halt his praise of the train set in order to fulfil the relatively unimportant task of breathing, face an unusual shade of blue as a result of oxygen depravation. Deciding not to press facts any further, for fear he would be lectured on the magnificence of trains until his ears bled, Mokuba nodded encouragingly and took the earliest opportunity to sneak off. At least if the tomb robber didn't like his present, then Ryou could have it.
In hindsight, that was probably the idea after all.
In fact, Ryou was predicting his cantankerous Yami to resent being given a birthday party like some child and instantly feign disinterest in all the gifts. Ryou could then play with the trains to his heart's content and maybe his Yami would even take an interest in them. The only problem that could arise here would be if that the tomb raider suddenly decided to reclaim his present.
Oh well... you win some, you lose some. Hopefully he'd have a chance to hide some of the pieces before that clumsy moron of a thief could break them.
*
Yami yawned. Being terrified out of your wits certainly took it out of you. Lodged quite comfortably between the massive stuffed bear and warped unicorn, he surveyed the blissfully purple-dinosaur-free world that was this poky little section of the shopping mall. Ah... peace at last. Even his hikari was gone.
Why was he here again? Oh yeah, the stupid tomb robber's birthday. What an idiot... The tomb robber that is; not him. No, not he; the wonderful pharaoh and best-looking King of Games ever. Was he the only King of Games ever? Unlikely... he'd have to look into it. Maybe he could ask Yugi, since he seemed to think he knew everything; arrogant hikari.... What was I doing again? Oh yeah, try to keep up with your train of thought Yami...
Leaping gracefully from where he was stationed on the floor, Yami resumed his stealth crawling around the shelves, ever on the lookout for the evil creature of doom. Why on earth did some people find such a creature endearing? It was pure evil; spouting malicious subliminal messages to children of all ages; a terrifying force that must be stopped at all costs.
Little did Yami know (obviously), that he was actually right for once. The producers of Barney the Dinosaur were all banking on the fact that the millions of innocent children who were daily exposed to this monster would one day turn into homicidal maniacs in protest. At which point, they, the producers, would all be handsomely paid-off by all of the lawyers and mental facilities in the world for their influx of new clients and pay supplies. What a corrupt little world we live in. At least Yami Yugi and all his reliable traits were on a mission to prevent this obscenity.
But how was he supposed to face his fears and combat the evil dinosaur when he was due to find some sort of random gift of well-wishing for the stupid tomb robber? Not that he wished the "person" in question anything well at all. Better he retreat his attack and formulate a plan later, rather than attempt to take down the evil creature with his mind split on two tasks. Where the hell was his stupid hikari when he was needed?!
Leaping from the floor once again and calmly striding past the shelves as though nothing had happened, the former pharaoh was fixed with nervous stares from most of the population while small children pointed and snickered at his less-than-conspicuous hairstyle.
"Hey mommy! That guy's head looks like a starfish!"
The pharaoh froze. He had no idea what a starfish was, but he had a nasty feeling that it may in some way be associated with the dinosaur. Either way, he had been insulted. Rounding on the startled child with every inch of his ancient regalness, Yami looked down his nose contemptuously at the three- year old boy wearing a bright Barney t-shirt and sneered.
"And how are you, mere child, brainwashed by the evil purple dinosaur, allowed to compare myself to some minion of the evil creature? I shall find the source of this evil and destroy the beast once and for all, then you shall see daylight for once. There will be no more starfish in this world".
"MOMMY!!"
Yami folded his arms and smirked in satisfaction. He had successfully converted one of the brainwashed children, or at least made them seriously reconsider their choice of leader. Opening his eyes to turn away and continue on his half-hearted search, it appeared to the pharaoh that the lights in the room had suddenly darkened. No, they hadn't darkened; they had simply been blocked from view.
Although not the tallest person in the world, Yami was impressed at just how imposing the apparent "mommy" of the child he had just rescued was. She appeared to be more giant than human and the look on her face was not one of a delighted parent whose child has just been saved.
"What in God's name do you mean, frightening my child like that, you little juvenile delinquent?!"
Yami didn't answer, as his brain struggled to translate this into Egyptian. He had no idea what a juvenile delinquent was. Drawing himself to his full and completely unremarkable height, he glared up at the glowering woman.
"Madam, my intentions were to save your son from the evil that has penetrated his mind and stolen his soul. Barney the Dinosaur must be stopped at all costs".
"SECURITY! THIS JUVENILE DELINQUENT IS PREACHING ABOUT SOME SATANIC CULT!!"
Once again, Yami had absolutely no idea what she was talking about and only when three heavily muscled security guards leapt on him did he realise that she was not singing his praises at all.
"This is a mistake! I was guiding the child back to the light!"
"Sure you were kid, now just be quiet. Have you got a lawyer?"
"I am the King of Games and pharaoh! I demand in Ra's name that you release me!"
The security guard doing the talking hauled the indignant pharaoh to his feet, "look buddy, I don't care what religion you're from, but you have no right to impose it on other people. We're going to take you to the police station down the street".
Yami blinked in horror, "but I can't leave! My hikari will kill me if I get arrested!"
"Your hikari?"
"Yes, my hikari!"
All three of the guards exchanged nervous glances. Nothing in their fairly basic training had prepared them for a possible satanic cult build-up in their shopping mall. This called for some serious reinforcement.
"You'd better not say anything else sir, you're only incriminating yourself further".
Yami continued to bask in complete confusion, "I've done nothing wrong! I'm the King of Games; it's my duty to help people who can't help themselves!"
Technically it's not, he pondered, but that just sounded better. However it quite failed to reach the stressed and now seriously confused security members. Deciding just to haul this freak out of public sight, the one- time pharaoh was hoisted aloft by his elbows and marched out of the toy department, complaining loudly.
"YOU CAN'T TREAT ME LIKE THIS! I AM PHARAOH!!"
"Shut it right now buddy, or I'll have to help you".
Confused as he was, even Yami was able to distinguish this as a threat.
Joey was surveying the swimming pool toys when he heard the unmistakable arrogant tones of the King of Games heading his way. He blinked. Something was annoying the pharaoh; that much was obvious from the fact that he was now speaking in fluent Egyptian in especially strident levels. At least, Joey was sure it was Egyptian. The possibility that someone was having a seizure and was being escorted to the hospital was quite liable, however the accent definitely reminded him of his best friend's other half.
Oh well. Sounds like Yugi's problem.
What am I saying?! This is my best friend I'm talking about here!
Serves him right for bringing the paranoid pharaoh along with him.
No it doesn't! I'd better go help him.
...Since when did I talk to myself?
...
That's better.
Darting towards where the sound was trailing away, Joey remembered that he still hadn't found the stupid tomb robber's birthday present. Hurriedly grabbing the first thing he on the shelf in front of him, he bolted towards the checkout. Mercifully, the queue had just finished and he was able to throw down more money than was necessary and take off after the shrieking King of Games.
He was sprinting out of the mall and weaving through traffic across the road towards the police station when he finally glanced down at the item he had purchased.
It was a rubber ducky. Oh well. Better not put his name on the gift tag; let the tomb robber attack someone else at his expense.
*
"I can't believe that you managed to get arrested the instant I left you alone in a shopping mall!"
"It's not my fault hikari!"
"Oh yeah? Define how!"
"I have absolutely no idea why they arrested me!"
"Really? You were harassing a little kid wearing Barney the Dinosaur merchandise!"
"That dinosaur is the leader of a dangerous cult; I know it!"
"Just shut up... You're depressing me even more".
Ishizu glanced in the rear view mirror back at the pharaoh and his hikari. She had been called in to serve as a "responsible adult" to bail the King of Games out of his holding cell, coupled with her fame as a museum exhibitionist. Yugi had followed Joey to the station, having also caught the melodious tones of Yami's cursing, but was not allowed to take the "deranged lunatic" into custody. The King of Games was still nursing his hurt pride now that it had been explained to him just what a satanic cult and juvenile delinquent was.
"Yeah, can you guys just knock it off? Because of this, I had to grab a present without putting any thought into it".
Yugi stared at Joey in surprise, "why would you put any thought into a present for Yami Bakura?"
Joey shrugged, "I dunno... a rubber ducky still wasn't what I had in mind though".
Yami glared at both of them, "well because of that misunderstanding and my wrongful conviction, I did not even have a chance to purchase some stupid gift for the stupid tomb robber".
Mokuba sat up from where he was crouched on the floor, pretending he didn't exist for the benefit of the fact that Ishizu's hired car was not licensed to seat everyone. "Why don't you give him a copy of the mugshots the police took? He could have a good laugh at that!"
Yami stared at the cheerful little child in horror; that kid was a true Kaiba.
Yugi grinned, "well, it would certainly put your copies of the photos to good use, eh Spirit?"
Yami declined an answer: he had no present, nor did he have any use for the embarrassing criminal record copies and either way it would probably be too much to hope for his hikari not to use the pictures as blackmail himself. At least this way the photos would be in the hands of someone too stupid to know how to exploit them best. In theory. Hopefully. Maybe.
"It would appear that I am left with no choice. However it would be wise of you to remember, oh hikari, that you and I can be mistaken for each other quite easily".
Yugi blinked, "meaning what?"
Yami smirked, "I'm pretty sure that I could break out of prison, having been in that stupid little cell for all that time".
Yugi blanched; he could just imagine the King of Games deliberately building him his own little criminal record with no effort whatsoever, especially if today's antics were anything to go by.
"Fine, just don't do anything stupid".
A mulish silence reigned, until Tea spoke up from where she was wedged between Ryou and the car door, "has anyone ordered a birthday cake?"
Once again, silence ruled. If there had been any crickets in the vicinity, they would have chirped just to add to the mood.
"I managed to grab some streamers, paper hats and party poppers; do I have to think of everything?!"
Ishizu turned to face the back seat again, "I think there's a bakery nearby, maybe we could swing by it before we get back to Ryou's".
Joey leant over and poked Ryou in the shoulder, "do you have any food at your place?"
Startled from his comatose, partially carsick state, Ryou glanced back, "well... we should still have some soft drink and frozen pizza, provided the spirit hasn't tried going through the kitchen again. As long as he hasn't lit the stove and burnt down the other half of the kitchen, we should be fine".
"The other half?"
"Don't ask"
"Wasn't going to"
Ishizu sighed, "look, there's the turning here. Some of you pile out and grab the cake and I'll take the rest of you to a corner shop and we can grab more supplies. And possibly a fire extinguisher".
The hired silver Toyota shuddered to a halt and one of the doors flew open, spilling four people onto the pavement much to the surprise of several passers-by. A hand reached out and hauled the door shut as the car took off down the road again. Ishizu was obviously a better museum coordinator than driver.
Tea, Ryou, Yugi and Mokuba staggered into the tiny bakery and emerged a few minutes later, carrying a huge box and several packets of candles.
"I can't believe they didn't have two thousand or so candles... what kind of a market are they supplying for?"
"I doubt it's the market that includes ancient tomb robbers"
"Honestly, you just can't get the service these days"
"Speaking of service, when's Ishizu getting back?"
Standing at the side of the road looking very much like escaped mental patients that had just robbed a bakery, they were forced to endure the stares of drivers and innocent bystanders alike until Ishizu arrived. Squashing back into the protesting car, the licensed five seater and its nine passengers took off into the sunset. In theory, there should have been ten passengers, however it appeared that Kaiba had in fact bailed out on the suggestion of attending the thief's birthday party. I wonder why anyone would want to do such a thing...
*
wild-filly: please review!
Disclaimer: still don't own...
***
Part II
***
Meanwhile, Ryou, Tristan and Mokuba were ambling several shelves away, discussing one of the more meaningful questions of the world.
"Why on earth do you want to get him a jigsaw puzzle?!"
"I dunno... it's something isn't it?"
"I suppose he wouldn't he able to hurt anything with it...."
"I'm not so sure about that. I spent ages building this jigsaw on the floor of Seto's study so that he'd have a chance to see it, except he came storming in through the door and didn't look where he was going. I had no idea jigsaw pieces were that slippery..."
Tristan blinked, "what do you mean by that?"
Mokuba glanced away from where he had been momentarily dazed by the overwhelming pink realm that was the Barbie section, "so much pink... can't escape... sorry what was that, Tristan?"
"What do you mean by that jigsaw is slippery?"
"Oh that... big brother came crashing through the door and slipped on the puzzle while I was nearly finished. He went skidding across the room and nearly went flying out one of the huge windows behind his desk. I told him to be careful, but did he listen? Nooooo..."
Mokuba stared at Ryou and Tristan in confusion. Both were hanging onto the nearby shelves almost choking with laughter. The image of Kaiba's expression in their heads as he skidded on a jigsaw puzzle and went hurtling towards an open window was priceless. Swiftly regaining his calm demeanour, Ryou smiled sympathetically at the confused Mokuba and continued scanning the bright shelves.
"If you want to get him a jigsaw Tristan, that's fine with me. My house doesn't have any large windows upstairs at least. You may want to check for a choking hazard though". There was an unusually evil glint in the docile hikari's eye; perhaps this was the closest thing to revenge he'd ever had.
Tristan almost sighed with relief; this shopping business was not something he enjoyed on a regular basis, and either way, hanging around the toy department of a mall was not the coolest thing to be seen doing. Unless of course you are a member of a weird group of friends, at which case it is perfectly normal to head for toy departments as often as possible and do unnatural things to the plastic animal figures. **A/N: *cough* please don't ask **
"What kind of jigsaw do you think he would like?"
Mokuba took off in the direction of the board games section, returning moments later with a candy-pink box and evil grin firmly in place.
Tristan stared down at the box he had been handed, "uh... Ryou do you think he'd like a jigsaw called 'Barbie and Forest Friends'?"
Distracted, Ryou replied, "yeah, I'm sure he'll like it; just make sure that it's safe for under threes".
Tristan stared at the box apprehensively lest the pinkness of it prove contagious. He could scarcely believe that Mokuba had actually been brave enough to pick it up, let alone be seen carrying it. Gingerly turning the offensive item over and scanning the recommendation label, he nodded his head – the pieces were about the size of dinner plates... not that he wouldn't put it past the thief to somehow swallow one.
Mokuba surveyed Ryou in surprise, wondering just why the hikari had agreed to his mocking selection. It turned out that Ryou was no longer there.
"Hey Tristan! Where'd Ryou go?"
"Huh?" Finally torn from the hypnotic powers of the evil pink box, Tristan's intellectual response fell only on Mokuba's ears. Ryou indeed was no longer within earshot. Mokuba capered down an adjacent aisle, "let's split up and look for him!"
As the hyperactive child vanished from view, Tristan privately disagreed – there was no way that he was going to be seen carrying a Barbie jigsaw puzzle around the little kids' section of a shopping mall. I mean, honestly! No, he was going to search like fury for the nearest cash register, purchase the stupid thing and ask for the thickest, heaviest and most macho bag to put it in. If anyone saw fit to try and steal his bag later, then he would deny all ownership of it.
That decided, Tristan jogged off in the direction he prayed was the right one for the cash registers. Sadly, he was mistaken and instead finally stopped at the very back of the shop, resulting in his having to double back and further increase his exposure to the crowds of children and perplexed adults as he ran past, face scarlet with humiliation. Life just sucks, doesn't it? That's why we all love it so...
So where had Ryou got to? Mokuba finally spied the albino adolescent talking to a sales assistant by the train section of the shelf catacomb. He blinked, taking in the cheery dialogue between the assistant and duellist as they discussed a common affection for electric trains. Trains? Ryou?? Well that was unanticipated...
Glimpsing the younger Kaiba, Ryou called him over, beckoning to the large box stood beside him.
"Come and have a look at this!"
Mokuba sidled over, staring at the box curiously, "what is that, Bakura?"
Ryou grinned, eyes closed in delight, "it's the coolest train set ever! See... it has all these little train tracks and electric signs and little people and carriages and train lights and bridges and plants to go on the outside and gravel for the tracks and- "
The overjoyed hikari was forced to halt his praise of the train set in order to fulfil the relatively unimportant task of breathing, face an unusual shade of blue as a result of oxygen depravation. Deciding not to press facts any further, for fear he would be lectured on the magnificence of trains until his ears bled, Mokuba nodded encouragingly and took the earliest opportunity to sneak off. At least if the tomb robber didn't like his present, then Ryou could have it.
In hindsight, that was probably the idea after all.
In fact, Ryou was predicting his cantankerous Yami to resent being given a birthday party like some child and instantly feign disinterest in all the gifts. Ryou could then play with the trains to his heart's content and maybe his Yami would even take an interest in them. The only problem that could arise here would be if that the tomb raider suddenly decided to reclaim his present.
Oh well... you win some, you lose some. Hopefully he'd have a chance to hide some of the pieces before that clumsy moron of a thief could break them.
*
Yami yawned. Being terrified out of your wits certainly took it out of you. Lodged quite comfortably between the massive stuffed bear and warped unicorn, he surveyed the blissfully purple-dinosaur-free world that was this poky little section of the shopping mall. Ah... peace at last. Even his hikari was gone.
Why was he here again? Oh yeah, the stupid tomb robber's birthday. What an idiot... The tomb robber that is; not him. No, not he; the wonderful pharaoh and best-looking King of Games ever. Was he the only King of Games ever? Unlikely... he'd have to look into it. Maybe he could ask Yugi, since he seemed to think he knew everything; arrogant hikari.... What was I doing again? Oh yeah, try to keep up with your train of thought Yami...
Leaping gracefully from where he was stationed on the floor, Yami resumed his stealth crawling around the shelves, ever on the lookout for the evil creature of doom. Why on earth did some people find such a creature endearing? It was pure evil; spouting malicious subliminal messages to children of all ages; a terrifying force that must be stopped at all costs.
Little did Yami know (obviously), that he was actually right for once. The producers of Barney the Dinosaur were all banking on the fact that the millions of innocent children who were daily exposed to this monster would one day turn into homicidal maniacs in protest. At which point, they, the producers, would all be handsomely paid-off by all of the lawyers and mental facilities in the world for their influx of new clients and pay supplies. What a corrupt little world we live in. At least Yami Yugi and all his reliable traits were on a mission to prevent this obscenity.
But how was he supposed to face his fears and combat the evil dinosaur when he was due to find some sort of random gift of well-wishing for the stupid tomb robber? Not that he wished the "person" in question anything well at all. Better he retreat his attack and formulate a plan later, rather than attempt to take down the evil creature with his mind split on two tasks. Where the hell was his stupid hikari when he was needed?!
Leaping from the floor once again and calmly striding past the shelves as though nothing had happened, the former pharaoh was fixed with nervous stares from most of the population while small children pointed and snickered at his less-than-conspicuous hairstyle.
"Hey mommy! That guy's head looks like a starfish!"
The pharaoh froze. He had no idea what a starfish was, but he had a nasty feeling that it may in some way be associated with the dinosaur. Either way, he had been insulted. Rounding on the startled child with every inch of his ancient regalness, Yami looked down his nose contemptuously at the three- year old boy wearing a bright Barney t-shirt and sneered.
"And how are you, mere child, brainwashed by the evil purple dinosaur, allowed to compare myself to some minion of the evil creature? I shall find the source of this evil and destroy the beast once and for all, then you shall see daylight for once. There will be no more starfish in this world".
"MOMMY!!"
Yami folded his arms and smirked in satisfaction. He had successfully converted one of the brainwashed children, or at least made them seriously reconsider their choice of leader. Opening his eyes to turn away and continue on his half-hearted search, it appeared to the pharaoh that the lights in the room had suddenly darkened. No, they hadn't darkened; they had simply been blocked from view.
Although not the tallest person in the world, Yami was impressed at just how imposing the apparent "mommy" of the child he had just rescued was. She appeared to be more giant than human and the look on her face was not one of a delighted parent whose child has just been saved.
"What in God's name do you mean, frightening my child like that, you little juvenile delinquent?!"
Yami didn't answer, as his brain struggled to translate this into Egyptian. He had no idea what a juvenile delinquent was. Drawing himself to his full and completely unremarkable height, he glared up at the glowering woman.
"Madam, my intentions were to save your son from the evil that has penetrated his mind and stolen his soul. Barney the Dinosaur must be stopped at all costs".
"SECURITY! THIS JUVENILE DELINQUENT IS PREACHING ABOUT SOME SATANIC CULT!!"
Once again, Yami had absolutely no idea what she was talking about and only when three heavily muscled security guards leapt on him did he realise that she was not singing his praises at all.
"This is a mistake! I was guiding the child back to the light!"
"Sure you were kid, now just be quiet. Have you got a lawyer?"
"I am the King of Games and pharaoh! I demand in Ra's name that you release me!"
The security guard doing the talking hauled the indignant pharaoh to his feet, "look buddy, I don't care what religion you're from, but you have no right to impose it on other people. We're going to take you to the police station down the street".
Yami blinked in horror, "but I can't leave! My hikari will kill me if I get arrested!"
"Your hikari?"
"Yes, my hikari!"
All three of the guards exchanged nervous glances. Nothing in their fairly basic training had prepared them for a possible satanic cult build-up in their shopping mall. This called for some serious reinforcement.
"You'd better not say anything else sir, you're only incriminating yourself further".
Yami continued to bask in complete confusion, "I've done nothing wrong! I'm the King of Games; it's my duty to help people who can't help themselves!"
Technically it's not, he pondered, but that just sounded better. However it quite failed to reach the stressed and now seriously confused security members. Deciding just to haul this freak out of public sight, the one- time pharaoh was hoisted aloft by his elbows and marched out of the toy department, complaining loudly.
"YOU CAN'T TREAT ME LIKE THIS! I AM PHARAOH!!"
"Shut it right now buddy, or I'll have to help you".
Confused as he was, even Yami was able to distinguish this as a threat.
Joey was surveying the swimming pool toys when he heard the unmistakable arrogant tones of the King of Games heading his way. He blinked. Something was annoying the pharaoh; that much was obvious from the fact that he was now speaking in fluent Egyptian in especially strident levels. At least, Joey was sure it was Egyptian. The possibility that someone was having a seizure and was being escorted to the hospital was quite liable, however the accent definitely reminded him of his best friend's other half.
Oh well. Sounds like Yugi's problem.
What am I saying?! This is my best friend I'm talking about here!
Serves him right for bringing the paranoid pharaoh along with him.
No it doesn't! I'd better go help him.
...Since when did I talk to myself?
...
That's better.
Darting towards where the sound was trailing away, Joey remembered that he still hadn't found the stupid tomb robber's birthday present. Hurriedly grabbing the first thing he on the shelf in front of him, he bolted towards the checkout. Mercifully, the queue had just finished and he was able to throw down more money than was necessary and take off after the shrieking King of Games.
He was sprinting out of the mall and weaving through traffic across the road towards the police station when he finally glanced down at the item he had purchased.
It was a rubber ducky. Oh well. Better not put his name on the gift tag; let the tomb robber attack someone else at his expense.
*
"I can't believe that you managed to get arrested the instant I left you alone in a shopping mall!"
"It's not my fault hikari!"
"Oh yeah? Define how!"
"I have absolutely no idea why they arrested me!"
"Really? You were harassing a little kid wearing Barney the Dinosaur merchandise!"
"That dinosaur is the leader of a dangerous cult; I know it!"
"Just shut up... You're depressing me even more".
Ishizu glanced in the rear view mirror back at the pharaoh and his hikari. She had been called in to serve as a "responsible adult" to bail the King of Games out of his holding cell, coupled with her fame as a museum exhibitionist. Yugi had followed Joey to the station, having also caught the melodious tones of Yami's cursing, but was not allowed to take the "deranged lunatic" into custody. The King of Games was still nursing his hurt pride now that it had been explained to him just what a satanic cult and juvenile delinquent was.
"Yeah, can you guys just knock it off? Because of this, I had to grab a present without putting any thought into it".
Yugi stared at Joey in surprise, "why would you put any thought into a present for Yami Bakura?"
Joey shrugged, "I dunno... a rubber ducky still wasn't what I had in mind though".
Yami glared at both of them, "well because of that misunderstanding and my wrongful conviction, I did not even have a chance to purchase some stupid gift for the stupid tomb robber".
Mokuba sat up from where he was crouched on the floor, pretending he didn't exist for the benefit of the fact that Ishizu's hired car was not licensed to seat everyone. "Why don't you give him a copy of the mugshots the police took? He could have a good laugh at that!"
Yami stared at the cheerful little child in horror; that kid was a true Kaiba.
Yugi grinned, "well, it would certainly put your copies of the photos to good use, eh Spirit?"
Yami declined an answer: he had no present, nor did he have any use for the embarrassing criminal record copies and either way it would probably be too much to hope for his hikari not to use the pictures as blackmail himself. At least this way the photos would be in the hands of someone too stupid to know how to exploit them best. In theory. Hopefully. Maybe.
"It would appear that I am left with no choice. However it would be wise of you to remember, oh hikari, that you and I can be mistaken for each other quite easily".
Yugi blinked, "meaning what?"
Yami smirked, "I'm pretty sure that I could break out of prison, having been in that stupid little cell for all that time".
Yugi blanched; he could just imagine the King of Games deliberately building him his own little criminal record with no effort whatsoever, especially if today's antics were anything to go by.
"Fine, just don't do anything stupid".
A mulish silence reigned, until Tea spoke up from where she was wedged between Ryou and the car door, "has anyone ordered a birthday cake?"
Once again, silence ruled. If there had been any crickets in the vicinity, they would have chirped just to add to the mood.
"I managed to grab some streamers, paper hats and party poppers; do I have to think of everything?!"
Ishizu turned to face the back seat again, "I think there's a bakery nearby, maybe we could swing by it before we get back to Ryou's".
Joey leant over and poked Ryou in the shoulder, "do you have any food at your place?"
Startled from his comatose, partially carsick state, Ryou glanced back, "well... we should still have some soft drink and frozen pizza, provided the spirit hasn't tried going through the kitchen again. As long as he hasn't lit the stove and burnt down the other half of the kitchen, we should be fine".
"The other half?"
"Don't ask"
"Wasn't going to"
Ishizu sighed, "look, there's the turning here. Some of you pile out and grab the cake and I'll take the rest of you to a corner shop and we can grab more supplies. And possibly a fire extinguisher".
The hired silver Toyota shuddered to a halt and one of the doors flew open, spilling four people onto the pavement much to the surprise of several passers-by. A hand reached out and hauled the door shut as the car took off down the road again. Ishizu was obviously a better museum coordinator than driver.
Tea, Ryou, Yugi and Mokuba staggered into the tiny bakery and emerged a few minutes later, carrying a huge box and several packets of candles.
"I can't believe they didn't have two thousand or so candles... what kind of a market are they supplying for?"
"I doubt it's the market that includes ancient tomb robbers"
"Honestly, you just can't get the service these days"
"Speaking of service, when's Ishizu getting back?"
Standing at the side of the road looking very much like escaped mental patients that had just robbed a bakery, they were forced to endure the stares of drivers and innocent bystanders alike until Ishizu arrived. Squashing back into the protesting car, the licensed five seater and its nine passengers took off into the sunset. In theory, there should have been ten passengers, however it appeared that Kaiba had in fact bailed out on the suggestion of attending the thief's birthday party. I wonder why anyone would want to do such a thing...
*
wild-filly: please review!