"Tested Hearts", chapter 11
Author: Chicmns Category: Drama, angst Disclaimer: All main characters belong to DPB, CBS, and the fine folks at Paramount. Thank you for letting me borrow them for a while. I promise to return them none the worse for wear. Rating: G Author's Notes: See? No need to worry...I'm not gonna let anything worse happen to her, I promise! Thanks to all the kind reviewers so far; 'starryeyes10', 'jtbwriter', 'DelphieKat', 'Lyssa Grace', 'Dreamer20715', and 'mizukimarr910'.
GW HOSPITAL Room 411
Mattie floated in that half-conscious region between wakefulness and sleep, her body continuing its' fight against the fever and infections she'd wrestled with for the past several hours. Her mind flitted back and forth between fragments of memories and hazy, undefined dreams, but now her slowly recovering body drew her towards a higher level of consciousness. Her mind was still in the throes of the fever, but now she sensed/felt two cool anchors, one on each hand. Far from dragging her down, they seemed to make her feel lighter, like two cool magnets that drew her to them. As her body reacted to the changes within and outside, her eyes slowly fluttered open, and she thought she heard two indrawn breaths close by.
There wasn't much light coming into her barely open eyes, and she immediately returned to her thoughts before going to sleep the night before. Her mind's altered sense of time and place set a confused pall over her, and a part of her struggled to reconcile what her memories, senses, and thoughts were telling her. A moan escaped her lips as she fought the weariness her body wore like a heavy coat, feeling the two cool anchors increase their contact with her hands. It was so hot, a part of her mind and senses told her, and she yearned for more of the coolness around her.
After a moment, which felt to her like days, her ears heard (imagined?) someone whispering her name.
"Mattie?"
Her senses shifted as she tried to decide whether she'd dreamed hearing it, or if someone had indeed called out to her. The voice was deep, soft, and very familiar...and immediately brought a sense of comfort and safety that helped focus and calm her. She yearned for more of the voice, to help bring her out of the fog she felt herself in.
"Sweetheart, can you hear us?"
A different voice that time, higher in tone but still as soft as the first, and the feelings of safety and comfort stayed with her. These were voices she knew, ones she enjoyed hearing...they were... as familiar as her own voice...and suddenly, she pictured the faces that went with the voices. Harm, and...Mac? Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard echoes of those names, mirrored with "Dad", and "Mom"...
So...they were her dad and mom-calling to her. Waking her from sleep. She wanted to answer, but she felt so tired...finding the energy to answer was so hard. She pushed against the weariness within, and marshalled her desire into a whispered response.
"Dad?"...she managed, almost too softly to hear. Harm and Mac did hear her, though, and glanced at each other as they both wondered if Mattie was dreaming of Tom Johnson, her biological father. Sensing that he needed to answer her, Harm decided to err on the side of caution. He had always been unfailingly honest with Mattie, and he wouldn't stop now.
"Mattie, it's me, Harm. I'm here, honey. Mac's here, too." Harm studied Mattie's face and noticed her eyes had opened a little more, even though she seemed to be looking between, not at, Mac and he...yet not really seeing anything in the shadows of the room.
"Daddd....sleepy, hot..." Mattie mumbled, her mind still trying to grab onto some kind of focus. Harm heard the confusion in her tiny voice, and the parental instincts he had been cultivating led him to offer comfort, and not too much information, to his sick daughter as the best response right now. He swallowed, gathering his thoughts, and then whispered near her ear.
"It's OK, baby...you don't have to wake up yet. You'll feel better soon, and we'll be right here." He tried to fill his voice with as much certainty and comfort as possible, needing to quiet the confusion he'd heard from Mattie. He looked up at Mac, who gave him a nod and a grin in support-confirming her agreement with his instincts and response. They both looked back down at their daughter when they heard her reply,
"'kay, dad...mom...love you..." They both thought they saw the ghost of a smile on Mattie's face at this last whisper. Mac's eyes filled with tears again as she leaned down to kiss Mattie's cheek, whispering back, "We love you, too, Mattie."
GW ER PARKING LOT EARLIER
Harm pulled his cell phone from the inside pocket of his coat, fumbling to hit the speed dial for his mom and foster father's phone number. He blew out his breath in a sudden gust. He wasn't looking forward to this call, but the one that would follow would be even harder to make. Tom Johnson, Mattie's biological father, was in alcohol rehab...and wouldn't react well to the news that his daughter was in the hospital. Talking to his own parents would hopefully fortify him for that call. The phone beeped, and then he heard the rings on the other end of the line.
The phone rang in the kitchen of the Rabb home in California as Harm's mom wiped her hands on her apron. "Better not be another telemarketer," she grumbled, as she reached for the mobile unit, lifting it off of its' cradle and settling it next to her ear. "Hello?" she asked, not too kindly.
"Mom, it's me."
"Harm! How are you, honey? How's everybody?"
The pause that answered her acted as a switch, turning up all of her maternal instincts while at the same time twisting her gut as she waited for her son to speak. All of a sudden, she knew that something was wrong; she and Harm's father had always taught him to speak directly, and with purpose. That hesitation in her son's voice was a warning sign. Her breath caught in her throat.
"Harm?"
"Mom, I have some news. Mattie's...we're at George Washington hospital. She's pretty sick, Mom...she's got a really bad case of pneumonia, and she lost consciousness this morning. Jen and I had to get her to the hospital..." He stopped and swallowed hard, hearing an indrawn breath on the other end of the line, and then her mom replied in a voice that was half panic, half mother-mode.
"Oh, Lord. Harm, honey...how bad is it?" She began closing up open containers in the kitchen, already thinking about the packing she would be doing in a few minutes as she got ready to come to DC with Frank to be with her son and new granddaughter.
"She's got a 103 fever, Mom...and they're having trouble getting her to respond to any medication. They found some kind of bacteria in her blood. She's got fluid in her lungs, and her doctor's been talking about draining them – Mom, they want to stick a needle in my girl!" Harm's voice raised in volume during the last sentence, and she could hear something she'd almost never heard in her aviator son's voice; panic. She knew she had to comfort him so that he could be in control for Mattie.
"Son...listen to me. That's a very high fever, and the fluid will make it hard for her to breathe—"
"She's got this ugly tube wrapped around her face, Mom...they're having to give her oxygen..."
"She's going to be fine, son – you hear me? You just hang on – where's Sarah?"
Harm suddenly grinned; her mother almost NEVER called Mac by her shortened Marine name. For someone so used to the language and routines of the military, his mom never quite approved of nicknames for female servicemen. She either used their given name, or their military title if they weren't close friends. Mac had always been Sarah to her, just as the Admiral had always been AJ.
"She's here with us, Mom. So were Jen and the Admiral for a while. God, Mom...she's burning up, and I don't know what to do for her."
"You're doing everything you can right now, Harm. I know you, and so does Mattie. She knows you and Mac are there. She's not alone with this thing, and she knows it. Just let the doctors do their work, son...we're on our way. We'll be there as soon as we can."
"Mom, I'll...come get you, Just tell me what flight and time—"
"No, you will not, Harmon Rabb Jr! You stay right there! Do not even think about leaving that girl's side for us! We'll call you when we land, and then we're getting a taxi to the hospital. Don't worry about us, or waste time making any arrangements. I want you there with my granddaughter, you read me?"
Harm closed his eyes for a moment, reveling in the love, support, and decisiveness he heard in his mother's voice. She and Frank had always been there for he and Mattie.
"Yes, ma'am. I'll tell Mac you guys are on your way. We're in room 411, and her doctor's name is Masters. Call me as soon as you get off the plane, Mom – you read me?"
She chuckled in his ear, and he smiled. "Aye, aye, Commander," she replied in a wry voice. "I'm calling Frank now—we'll see you in a few hours. Get back in there with her, and try not to worry. She's going to be fine, son—God will protect you all. I love you both very much, and if she should wake up before we get there, you tell her that for me, okay?"
"I will, Mom. Thanks. We don't know what we'd do without you two. Mattie loves you and Frank like crazy."
"Then she fits in to our family very well, with her being crazy and all," she quipped. He laughed, and it was music to her ears.
"Go now. Get off my phone, and know that I love you and I'm always with you, honey. See you in a few hours."
"Bye, Mom. Love you back."
And just like that, her quiet morning had disappeared as if it were a dream. Closing her eyes for a second to say a quick prayer for Mattie and Harm, she clicked the line button once to disconnect, and then hit the speed dial for Frank's office.
GW DOCTOR'S OFFICE SUITE
Dr. Masters was updating patient charts and paperwork when both his desktop and PMC beeped at him, an alert box popping up on his desktop screen in front of the chart he was working on. The heading on the alert read, "Rabb, Mattie..." and he immediately closed the other box after saving the info, then clicked on the alert. "Excellent!" he exclaimed, as Mattie's temperature drop appeared on the readout. The new broad-spectrum antibiotics were apparently taking effect. Guess that means he'd be receiving—
"Dr. Masters, please report to room 411 – Dr. Masters to room 411, please." Yup. He listened to the announcement at the same time the page was sent over the network.
"Well, Mattie...looks like your good news has saved me from some paperwork!", he thought as he closed the folder in front of him and got up from his desk to head upstairs to her room.
Room 411
It was amazing, Harm thought to himself as he and Mac stood, arms around each other, over Mattie's sleeping form as the long rays of the midday sun started to stretch across the hospital room...how just watching your child sleep could turn out to be such a revelation about so many things. He felt Mac sigh against him, her weariness evident in her drawn face and posture. Still, he could tell that they'd both been recharged by Mattie's fight towards recovery. He'd never truly realized till now how much parents lived through their children. He wanted Mattie to have every healthy happiness in life, and when she was in a place where she didn't, or couldn't...it represented a hole that he felt driven to fill in any way he could. Truth was...he loved Mattie with all of his heart, and he couldn't imagine a biological daughter who could be an even better daughter for him than she was. It hurt him, watching her lay there, to know this wasn't a fight he could take on for her.
Mac's thoughts were running along the same path as Harm's. She idly wondered if there was a way that mothers could be sick in place of their kids. She would gladly take Mattie's place in that bed; what mother wouldn't do that for their child? And Mattie was hers; the fact that she didn't come from her own womb meant not a thing. No court paper, no absent alcoholic father...nothing at all could change that fact. And as she watched Mattie's regular breathing, she knew that Mattie felt bound to her as well. At first, Mac thought that it was a result of what she'd done last Christmas, when she convinced Mattie's father to give up custody temporarily while he went into alcohol counseling. Mattie's subsequent hero- worship of Mac was hard to bear at times afterward. Especially when she knew how much Mattie loved and missed her own mother.
At some undefined point during the last few months, however...they both had just morphed into the role of mother and daughter. Mattie's acceptance of the new situation was what surprised Mac more than anything; she never wanted to replace Mattie's mom...just be there for the young woman as she entered womanhood. Mattie's amazing capacity to love and adapt, however, and her own desire to protect and love Harm's ward were catalysts for the path the two of them were on now...a path Mac suspected they'd started out on a few months ago, during a Friday night at Mattie and Jen's place.
Harm and Mac had been sitting on their couch, going over some legal papers on cases they had coming up the following week while waiting for Mattie to get home from going out to movies with friends. She'd called from the theater to let them know she was on her way home, and when the key turned in the door and she bounded in, cheeks flushed from the cold winter air and several hours spent with girlfriends, they greeted her with large grins and parent-type questions: how was the movie? was she hungry? what did she want to do that weekend? Mattie just laughed, gazing at both of them in her young, loving way, saying nothing...just watching them with a smile on her face. When, after a moment, Harm teased her about apparently thinking about the cute guys she saw at the theater, Mattie just shook her head and arched her eyebrow at him, still watching them with a strange expression. Mac kept the memory of the next couple of minutes in her heart.
Mattie just stood there just inside the front door, after removing her coat and hanging it in the front closet. After Harm and Mac had gotten a chorus of "No's" and "I'm not sure" from their initial questions, they smiled and turned back to their papers. When they sensed Mattie's gaze still on them, Mac spoke up.
"Honey, are you OK?"
"Yeah, I..."
Now Harm looked up from the sheaf of papers in his lap. "Mattie?"
"I'm fine, Harm. Really. I just realized all of a sudden how great it is to come home and see you guys waiting up for me. I know it sounds kinda lame, but..." Mattie softly chuckled, shaking her head and looking down at her feet in apparent embarrassment.
Harm put his papers down and got up from his seat on the couch and walked over to Mattie. He wrapped her in one of his patented Rabb-hugs; all- enveloping, and almost as good a feeling as eating chocolate. Almost. Mac smiled as she watched him pull Mattie's head to his chest, and her eyes closed as she sighed in his arms. As many times as she'd watched this, every time seemed like the first. Harm wasn't exactly a poet with his verbal skills (except in the courtroom), but he could speak so clearly with his hugs and other tactile ways. And Mattie'd completely understood this method of his communication with her.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead, asking her if she and Jen would like to join us for breakfast the next morning. She smiled and nodded, finally and reluctantly pulling out of his hug as he returned to his seat on the couch next to me. After a moment, Mattie walked around the back of the couch on the way to her bedroom and, leaning down to kiss both our cheeks, whispered "Night Dad, Mom...see you in the morning." We listened to her footsteps trail away down the hallway to her room, and the room quieted again except for the rustlings of papers.
That was the first time Mattie called me "Mom."
She's called me Mom many times since, including a few minutes ago before she went back to sleep...but I keep close the memory of that first time. And, just as then, I wore a smile as big as the sun.
Harm glanced down at my face as he gently led me back to my chair next to Mattie's bed, and quietly asked, "What's the smile for?"
"Oh, I was just remembering the first time she called me 'Mom' – remember?"
He paused in thought for a moment as he kneeled next to me in my chair. "Yeah. That Friday night she came back from the movies with her friends, and we were waiting up for her."
She cocked a surprised, teasing eyebrow at him. "Hey, Flyboy, that's not bad for a squid! Good memory there!"
"A father remembers these things, Marine!" he grinned. Not quite a full "Flyboy" grin, but blinding nonetheless.
"Yeah, well ... I think that was it for me. I was completely under her spell from that point on."
"Hmm. Well, join the club! Jen loves to remind me how much Mattie has me, and this is a direct quote, 'wrapped so tightly around her finger I have to ask permission to salute.' Of course, I immediately went to ask the Admiral if he'd fire Jen for insubordination. AJ told me in this pained, frustrated voice that he'd already fired Jen several times that day, but that she just kept coming back--like a bad penny."
Mac chuckled in her chair. "We certainly have some unique girls, don't we?"
"We sure do. And I can't imagine my life without either of them."
"Neither can I. We just have to keep reminding ourselves of that every time we get our credit card bills each month," she answered in a wry voice.
"Tell me about it. Actually, for me, it's the grocery bill. For two tiny girls, they sure do put the food away! I'm on a first name basis with the guy who delivers the cold cereal to the supermarket, for Christ's sake!"
Mac was still giggling when Dr. Masters entered the room, the nurse trailing behind him.
"Well, it looks like we're making some headway on this thing, hmm, folks?" he said in greeting, nodding to both Harm and Mac as he strode over to Mattie's bed, putting on his stethoscope and listening to her chest and back with the help of the nurse...while checking her other vitals.
"Hello, doctor. She woke up for a few moments a little while ago and spoke to us a little bit...she sounded a little confused, and then went right back to sleep." Mac told him. He glanced at her and grunted.
"Well, the fever's still too high, and she's bound to be affected by it when she's awake. Did she seem to know where she was?"
"I don't think she even got to that point, no." Harm answered. He was studying Dr. Masters' face intently. "How do her lungs sound?" The doctor seemed to catch the tension in his voice, and Mac reached over to take Harm's hand in hers.
"She's still has fluid, which hopefully will turn into phlegm as the antibiotics continue to flush the bacteria out of her system. Mr. Rabb, I know that you're not happy about the drain procedure I mentioned before, and I want to assure you that if I can avoid it, I will. It would be better if she's strong enough to process and eject it on her own. It will mean lots of coughing and a tender throat, but I think that's preferable to anything invasive. Okay?" He was returning Harm's gaze with his own. Harm nodded once.
"Thanks, doctor. I just don't like the idea, unless you think we have no other choice."
Dr. Masters nodded. "Let's just continue to monitor her and keep the regimen in place. We'll give her another two liters of saline fluid," nodding at the nurse who was entering the order on her pad, "and we'll see where we are in...about four hours. All right?" Harm and Mac both sighed and nodded in return. Neither one wanted to see Mattie with any more needles in her. "Meanwhile," the doctor continued, "I have a question for you two. Did you get any sleep at all?"
Harm was watching Mattie as the nurse adjusted the bed sheets and pillow, and murmured in an absent tone as he brushed her curly hair away from her face. "No. We're fine, though. We're both military; used to going without sleep or rest."
"I'm sure you are, sir, but this is a hospital, not the desert outside Baghdad. You're not helping Mattie by wearing yourselves out. Why don't you take turns getting some rest at home while we continue to watch Mattie?"
"We'll stay here with her, doctor. If you don't mind." Mac answered for them both.
Dr. Masters exchanged a look with the nurse, who shrugged. "Well, I had to try, anyway. Didn't think you'd agree in any case. Nurse, please find a portable cot for this room; let's try to make them as comfortable as possible."
"Yes, doctor."
"Thank you, nurse. Now, folks, I think we're on the right path here. She's showing marked improvement; her temp's coming down, pulse and breathing are moving back to acceptable ranges, and there's no apparent side effects from the medications she's been given so far. She's in a place where her body will draw on more resources to help the medicine eject the bacteria, so don't be concerned if she doesn't wake up again for a while yet. I'm going to keep her on the ox to help her breathe, and I want you to keep an eye out that she doesn't try to remove the tube when she wakes up again. The nurses will check her every half hour, and I'll be nearby on rounds. I'm also remotely monitoring her as well," and he held up his PMC to show them, "so she's in good hands. We'll reevaluate her at," checking his watch and glancing again at the nurse, "4PM unless something changes. I want you both to try to get some rest and have something to eat between now and then; I'm going to be checking you two out as well when I come back. Got it?" he asked with a smile.
"We understand, doctor. Thank you." Harm responded with a grin.
"We'll be good, we promise." Mac added, a contrite look on her face.
Dr. Masters laughed, and the nurse smiled. "You're welcome. Can't wait to talk to your girl when she's awake. Have me paged if you need me."
"Yeah."
The doctor and nurse quietly left the room.
Mac suddenly gasped, and clutched Harm's hand. "Harm! Did you reach your mom and Frank? What about Tom?"
"They're on their way, Mac. I talked to Mom, filled her in on what's happened. She's worried, of course, but she was sure things would be OK. I tried to reach Tom, too, but apparently he's out on a day pass. Left a message for him to call either me or you when he gets back. Mom and Frank should be here by this evening—she promised to call when they got off the plane."
"Want me to go pick them up?" Mac asked him. She was glad Harm's mom was coming here so quickly. She loved her as much as Mattie did, and enjoyed the mothering she got from the older Mrs. Rabb as well.
"No – she ordered us to stay with Mattie and not to worry about them. They're gonna take a taxi here when they get in. Mac, you look bushed. When that cot gets here, I want you to try to sleep for a while. I'm going to go downstairs and rustle up some rations; you can spell me after your nap."
"Harm—"Mac began, but was cut off.
"That's an order, Colonel. I'm not too worried about what Dr. Masters would do to us, but if my mom sees us in this state when she and Frank get here, she'll chew our sixes clear off. Not to mention Harriet when she and Bud get here."
"Good point."
"Right. So...you sit and wait for the cot, while I head downstairs to the cafeteria. I want to also check in with the office, too. I'll be back soon." He leaned over to kiss Mac, and she placed her palm on his stubby cheek as she returned it in kind. After they broke apart, she was slightly breathless. God, this man could kiss!
"Okay, flyboy. Stay away from the nurses, you hear?" Harm laughed and rolled his eyes at her, then headed for the doorway...shaking his head as Mac smiled at his retreating back before turning back in her chair next to the bed to take Mattie's hand in hers, and wait for her to wake up again.
END OF CHAPTER 11
Author: Chicmns Category: Drama, angst Disclaimer: All main characters belong to DPB, CBS, and the fine folks at Paramount. Thank you for letting me borrow them for a while. I promise to return them none the worse for wear. Rating: G Author's Notes: See? No need to worry...I'm not gonna let anything worse happen to her, I promise! Thanks to all the kind reviewers so far; 'starryeyes10', 'jtbwriter', 'DelphieKat', 'Lyssa Grace', 'Dreamer20715', and 'mizukimarr910'.
GW HOSPITAL Room 411
Mattie floated in that half-conscious region between wakefulness and sleep, her body continuing its' fight against the fever and infections she'd wrestled with for the past several hours. Her mind flitted back and forth between fragments of memories and hazy, undefined dreams, but now her slowly recovering body drew her towards a higher level of consciousness. Her mind was still in the throes of the fever, but now she sensed/felt two cool anchors, one on each hand. Far from dragging her down, they seemed to make her feel lighter, like two cool magnets that drew her to them. As her body reacted to the changes within and outside, her eyes slowly fluttered open, and she thought she heard two indrawn breaths close by.
There wasn't much light coming into her barely open eyes, and she immediately returned to her thoughts before going to sleep the night before. Her mind's altered sense of time and place set a confused pall over her, and a part of her struggled to reconcile what her memories, senses, and thoughts were telling her. A moan escaped her lips as she fought the weariness her body wore like a heavy coat, feeling the two cool anchors increase their contact with her hands. It was so hot, a part of her mind and senses told her, and she yearned for more of the coolness around her.
After a moment, which felt to her like days, her ears heard (imagined?) someone whispering her name.
"Mattie?"
Her senses shifted as she tried to decide whether she'd dreamed hearing it, or if someone had indeed called out to her. The voice was deep, soft, and very familiar...and immediately brought a sense of comfort and safety that helped focus and calm her. She yearned for more of the voice, to help bring her out of the fog she felt herself in.
"Sweetheart, can you hear us?"
A different voice that time, higher in tone but still as soft as the first, and the feelings of safety and comfort stayed with her. These were voices she knew, ones she enjoyed hearing...they were... as familiar as her own voice...and suddenly, she pictured the faces that went with the voices. Harm, and...Mac? Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard echoes of those names, mirrored with "Dad", and "Mom"...
So...they were her dad and mom-calling to her. Waking her from sleep. She wanted to answer, but she felt so tired...finding the energy to answer was so hard. She pushed against the weariness within, and marshalled her desire into a whispered response.
"Dad?"...she managed, almost too softly to hear. Harm and Mac did hear her, though, and glanced at each other as they both wondered if Mattie was dreaming of Tom Johnson, her biological father. Sensing that he needed to answer her, Harm decided to err on the side of caution. He had always been unfailingly honest with Mattie, and he wouldn't stop now.
"Mattie, it's me, Harm. I'm here, honey. Mac's here, too." Harm studied Mattie's face and noticed her eyes had opened a little more, even though she seemed to be looking between, not at, Mac and he...yet not really seeing anything in the shadows of the room.
"Daddd....sleepy, hot..." Mattie mumbled, her mind still trying to grab onto some kind of focus. Harm heard the confusion in her tiny voice, and the parental instincts he had been cultivating led him to offer comfort, and not too much information, to his sick daughter as the best response right now. He swallowed, gathering his thoughts, and then whispered near her ear.
"It's OK, baby...you don't have to wake up yet. You'll feel better soon, and we'll be right here." He tried to fill his voice with as much certainty and comfort as possible, needing to quiet the confusion he'd heard from Mattie. He looked up at Mac, who gave him a nod and a grin in support-confirming her agreement with his instincts and response. They both looked back down at their daughter when they heard her reply,
"'kay, dad...mom...love you..." They both thought they saw the ghost of a smile on Mattie's face at this last whisper. Mac's eyes filled with tears again as she leaned down to kiss Mattie's cheek, whispering back, "We love you, too, Mattie."
GW ER PARKING LOT EARLIER
Harm pulled his cell phone from the inside pocket of his coat, fumbling to hit the speed dial for his mom and foster father's phone number. He blew out his breath in a sudden gust. He wasn't looking forward to this call, but the one that would follow would be even harder to make. Tom Johnson, Mattie's biological father, was in alcohol rehab...and wouldn't react well to the news that his daughter was in the hospital. Talking to his own parents would hopefully fortify him for that call. The phone beeped, and then he heard the rings on the other end of the line.
The phone rang in the kitchen of the Rabb home in California as Harm's mom wiped her hands on her apron. "Better not be another telemarketer," she grumbled, as she reached for the mobile unit, lifting it off of its' cradle and settling it next to her ear. "Hello?" she asked, not too kindly.
"Mom, it's me."
"Harm! How are you, honey? How's everybody?"
The pause that answered her acted as a switch, turning up all of her maternal instincts while at the same time twisting her gut as she waited for her son to speak. All of a sudden, she knew that something was wrong; she and Harm's father had always taught him to speak directly, and with purpose. That hesitation in her son's voice was a warning sign. Her breath caught in her throat.
"Harm?"
"Mom, I have some news. Mattie's...we're at George Washington hospital. She's pretty sick, Mom...she's got a really bad case of pneumonia, and she lost consciousness this morning. Jen and I had to get her to the hospital..." He stopped and swallowed hard, hearing an indrawn breath on the other end of the line, and then her mom replied in a voice that was half panic, half mother-mode.
"Oh, Lord. Harm, honey...how bad is it?" She began closing up open containers in the kitchen, already thinking about the packing she would be doing in a few minutes as she got ready to come to DC with Frank to be with her son and new granddaughter.
"She's got a 103 fever, Mom...and they're having trouble getting her to respond to any medication. They found some kind of bacteria in her blood. She's got fluid in her lungs, and her doctor's been talking about draining them – Mom, they want to stick a needle in my girl!" Harm's voice raised in volume during the last sentence, and she could hear something she'd almost never heard in her aviator son's voice; panic. She knew she had to comfort him so that he could be in control for Mattie.
"Son...listen to me. That's a very high fever, and the fluid will make it hard for her to breathe—"
"She's got this ugly tube wrapped around her face, Mom...they're having to give her oxygen..."
"She's going to be fine, son – you hear me? You just hang on – where's Sarah?"
Harm suddenly grinned; her mother almost NEVER called Mac by her shortened Marine name. For someone so used to the language and routines of the military, his mom never quite approved of nicknames for female servicemen. She either used their given name, or their military title if they weren't close friends. Mac had always been Sarah to her, just as the Admiral had always been AJ.
"She's here with us, Mom. So were Jen and the Admiral for a while. God, Mom...she's burning up, and I don't know what to do for her."
"You're doing everything you can right now, Harm. I know you, and so does Mattie. She knows you and Mac are there. She's not alone with this thing, and she knows it. Just let the doctors do their work, son...we're on our way. We'll be there as soon as we can."
"Mom, I'll...come get you, Just tell me what flight and time—"
"No, you will not, Harmon Rabb Jr! You stay right there! Do not even think about leaving that girl's side for us! We'll call you when we land, and then we're getting a taxi to the hospital. Don't worry about us, or waste time making any arrangements. I want you there with my granddaughter, you read me?"
Harm closed his eyes for a moment, reveling in the love, support, and decisiveness he heard in his mother's voice. She and Frank had always been there for he and Mattie.
"Yes, ma'am. I'll tell Mac you guys are on your way. We're in room 411, and her doctor's name is Masters. Call me as soon as you get off the plane, Mom – you read me?"
She chuckled in his ear, and he smiled. "Aye, aye, Commander," she replied in a wry voice. "I'm calling Frank now—we'll see you in a few hours. Get back in there with her, and try not to worry. She's going to be fine, son—God will protect you all. I love you both very much, and if she should wake up before we get there, you tell her that for me, okay?"
"I will, Mom. Thanks. We don't know what we'd do without you two. Mattie loves you and Frank like crazy."
"Then she fits in to our family very well, with her being crazy and all," she quipped. He laughed, and it was music to her ears.
"Go now. Get off my phone, and know that I love you and I'm always with you, honey. See you in a few hours."
"Bye, Mom. Love you back."
And just like that, her quiet morning had disappeared as if it were a dream. Closing her eyes for a second to say a quick prayer for Mattie and Harm, she clicked the line button once to disconnect, and then hit the speed dial for Frank's office.
GW DOCTOR'S OFFICE SUITE
Dr. Masters was updating patient charts and paperwork when both his desktop and PMC beeped at him, an alert box popping up on his desktop screen in front of the chart he was working on. The heading on the alert read, "Rabb, Mattie..." and he immediately closed the other box after saving the info, then clicked on the alert. "Excellent!" he exclaimed, as Mattie's temperature drop appeared on the readout. The new broad-spectrum antibiotics were apparently taking effect. Guess that means he'd be receiving—
"Dr. Masters, please report to room 411 – Dr. Masters to room 411, please." Yup. He listened to the announcement at the same time the page was sent over the network.
"Well, Mattie...looks like your good news has saved me from some paperwork!", he thought as he closed the folder in front of him and got up from his desk to head upstairs to her room.
Room 411
It was amazing, Harm thought to himself as he and Mac stood, arms around each other, over Mattie's sleeping form as the long rays of the midday sun started to stretch across the hospital room...how just watching your child sleep could turn out to be such a revelation about so many things. He felt Mac sigh against him, her weariness evident in her drawn face and posture. Still, he could tell that they'd both been recharged by Mattie's fight towards recovery. He'd never truly realized till now how much parents lived through their children. He wanted Mattie to have every healthy happiness in life, and when she was in a place where she didn't, or couldn't...it represented a hole that he felt driven to fill in any way he could. Truth was...he loved Mattie with all of his heart, and he couldn't imagine a biological daughter who could be an even better daughter for him than she was. It hurt him, watching her lay there, to know this wasn't a fight he could take on for her.
Mac's thoughts were running along the same path as Harm's. She idly wondered if there was a way that mothers could be sick in place of their kids. She would gladly take Mattie's place in that bed; what mother wouldn't do that for their child? And Mattie was hers; the fact that she didn't come from her own womb meant not a thing. No court paper, no absent alcoholic father...nothing at all could change that fact. And as she watched Mattie's regular breathing, she knew that Mattie felt bound to her as well. At first, Mac thought that it was a result of what she'd done last Christmas, when she convinced Mattie's father to give up custody temporarily while he went into alcohol counseling. Mattie's subsequent hero- worship of Mac was hard to bear at times afterward. Especially when she knew how much Mattie loved and missed her own mother.
At some undefined point during the last few months, however...they both had just morphed into the role of mother and daughter. Mattie's acceptance of the new situation was what surprised Mac more than anything; she never wanted to replace Mattie's mom...just be there for the young woman as she entered womanhood. Mattie's amazing capacity to love and adapt, however, and her own desire to protect and love Harm's ward were catalysts for the path the two of them were on now...a path Mac suspected they'd started out on a few months ago, during a Friday night at Mattie and Jen's place.
Harm and Mac had been sitting on their couch, going over some legal papers on cases they had coming up the following week while waiting for Mattie to get home from going out to movies with friends. She'd called from the theater to let them know she was on her way home, and when the key turned in the door and she bounded in, cheeks flushed from the cold winter air and several hours spent with girlfriends, they greeted her with large grins and parent-type questions: how was the movie? was she hungry? what did she want to do that weekend? Mattie just laughed, gazing at both of them in her young, loving way, saying nothing...just watching them with a smile on her face. When, after a moment, Harm teased her about apparently thinking about the cute guys she saw at the theater, Mattie just shook her head and arched her eyebrow at him, still watching them with a strange expression. Mac kept the memory of the next couple of minutes in her heart.
Mattie just stood there just inside the front door, after removing her coat and hanging it in the front closet. After Harm and Mac had gotten a chorus of "No's" and "I'm not sure" from their initial questions, they smiled and turned back to their papers. When they sensed Mattie's gaze still on them, Mac spoke up.
"Honey, are you OK?"
"Yeah, I..."
Now Harm looked up from the sheaf of papers in his lap. "Mattie?"
"I'm fine, Harm. Really. I just realized all of a sudden how great it is to come home and see you guys waiting up for me. I know it sounds kinda lame, but..." Mattie softly chuckled, shaking her head and looking down at her feet in apparent embarrassment.
Harm put his papers down and got up from his seat on the couch and walked over to Mattie. He wrapped her in one of his patented Rabb-hugs; all- enveloping, and almost as good a feeling as eating chocolate. Almost. Mac smiled as she watched him pull Mattie's head to his chest, and her eyes closed as she sighed in his arms. As many times as she'd watched this, every time seemed like the first. Harm wasn't exactly a poet with his verbal skills (except in the courtroom), but he could speak so clearly with his hugs and other tactile ways. And Mattie'd completely understood this method of his communication with her.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead, asking her if she and Jen would like to join us for breakfast the next morning. She smiled and nodded, finally and reluctantly pulling out of his hug as he returned to his seat on the couch next to me. After a moment, Mattie walked around the back of the couch on the way to her bedroom and, leaning down to kiss both our cheeks, whispered "Night Dad, Mom...see you in the morning." We listened to her footsteps trail away down the hallway to her room, and the room quieted again except for the rustlings of papers.
That was the first time Mattie called me "Mom."
She's called me Mom many times since, including a few minutes ago before she went back to sleep...but I keep close the memory of that first time. And, just as then, I wore a smile as big as the sun.
Harm glanced down at my face as he gently led me back to my chair next to Mattie's bed, and quietly asked, "What's the smile for?"
"Oh, I was just remembering the first time she called me 'Mom' – remember?"
He paused in thought for a moment as he kneeled next to me in my chair. "Yeah. That Friday night she came back from the movies with her friends, and we were waiting up for her."
She cocked a surprised, teasing eyebrow at him. "Hey, Flyboy, that's not bad for a squid! Good memory there!"
"A father remembers these things, Marine!" he grinned. Not quite a full "Flyboy" grin, but blinding nonetheless.
"Yeah, well ... I think that was it for me. I was completely under her spell from that point on."
"Hmm. Well, join the club! Jen loves to remind me how much Mattie has me, and this is a direct quote, 'wrapped so tightly around her finger I have to ask permission to salute.' Of course, I immediately went to ask the Admiral if he'd fire Jen for insubordination. AJ told me in this pained, frustrated voice that he'd already fired Jen several times that day, but that she just kept coming back--like a bad penny."
Mac chuckled in her chair. "We certainly have some unique girls, don't we?"
"We sure do. And I can't imagine my life without either of them."
"Neither can I. We just have to keep reminding ourselves of that every time we get our credit card bills each month," she answered in a wry voice.
"Tell me about it. Actually, for me, it's the grocery bill. For two tiny girls, they sure do put the food away! I'm on a first name basis with the guy who delivers the cold cereal to the supermarket, for Christ's sake!"
Mac was still giggling when Dr. Masters entered the room, the nurse trailing behind him.
"Well, it looks like we're making some headway on this thing, hmm, folks?" he said in greeting, nodding to both Harm and Mac as he strode over to Mattie's bed, putting on his stethoscope and listening to her chest and back with the help of the nurse...while checking her other vitals.
"Hello, doctor. She woke up for a few moments a little while ago and spoke to us a little bit...she sounded a little confused, and then went right back to sleep." Mac told him. He glanced at her and grunted.
"Well, the fever's still too high, and she's bound to be affected by it when she's awake. Did she seem to know where she was?"
"I don't think she even got to that point, no." Harm answered. He was studying Dr. Masters' face intently. "How do her lungs sound?" The doctor seemed to catch the tension in his voice, and Mac reached over to take Harm's hand in hers.
"She's still has fluid, which hopefully will turn into phlegm as the antibiotics continue to flush the bacteria out of her system. Mr. Rabb, I know that you're not happy about the drain procedure I mentioned before, and I want to assure you that if I can avoid it, I will. It would be better if she's strong enough to process and eject it on her own. It will mean lots of coughing and a tender throat, but I think that's preferable to anything invasive. Okay?" He was returning Harm's gaze with his own. Harm nodded once.
"Thanks, doctor. I just don't like the idea, unless you think we have no other choice."
Dr. Masters nodded. "Let's just continue to monitor her and keep the regimen in place. We'll give her another two liters of saline fluid," nodding at the nurse who was entering the order on her pad, "and we'll see where we are in...about four hours. All right?" Harm and Mac both sighed and nodded in return. Neither one wanted to see Mattie with any more needles in her. "Meanwhile," the doctor continued, "I have a question for you two. Did you get any sleep at all?"
Harm was watching Mattie as the nurse adjusted the bed sheets and pillow, and murmured in an absent tone as he brushed her curly hair away from her face. "No. We're fine, though. We're both military; used to going without sleep or rest."
"I'm sure you are, sir, but this is a hospital, not the desert outside Baghdad. You're not helping Mattie by wearing yourselves out. Why don't you take turns getting some rest at home while we continue to watch Mattie?"
"We'll stay here with her, doctor. If you don't mind." Mac answered for them both.
Dr. Masters exchanged a look with the nurse, who shrugged. "Well, I had to try, anyway. Didn't think you'd agree in any case. Nurse, please find a portable cot for this room; let's try to make them as comfortable as possible."
"Yes, doctor."
"Thank you, nurse. Now, folks, I think we're on the right path here. She's showing marked improvement; her temp's coming down, pulse and breathing are moving back to acceptable ranges, and there's no apparent side effects from the medications she's been given so far. She's in a place where her body will draw on more resources to help the medicine eject the bacteria, so don't be concerned if she doesn't wake up again for a while yet. I'm going to keep her on the ox to help her breathe, and I want you to keep an eye out that she doesn't try to remove the tube when she wakes up again. The nurses will check her every half hour, and I'll be nearby on rounds. I'm also remotely monitoring her as well," and he held up his PMC to show them, "so she's in good hands. We'll reevaluate her at," checking his watch and glancing again at the nurse, "4PM unless something changes. I want you both to try to get some rest and have something to eat between now and then; I'm going to be checking you two out as well when I come back. Got it?" he asked with a smile.
"We understand, doctor. Thank you." Harm responded with a grin.
"We'll be good, we promise." Mac added, a contrite look on her face.
Dr. Masters laughed, and the nurse smiled. "You're welcome. Can't wait to talk to your girl when she's awake. Have me paged if you need me."
"Yeah."
The doctor and nurse quietly left the room.
Mac suddenly gasped, and clutched Harm's hand. "Harm! Did you reach your mom and Frank? What about Tom?"
"They're on their way, Mac. I talked to Mom, filled her in on what's happened. She's worried, of course, but she was sure things would be OK. I tried to reach Tom, too, but apparently he's out on a day pass. Left a message for him to call either me or you when he gets back. Mom and Frank should be here by this evening—she promised to call when they got off the plane."
"Want me to go pick them up?" Mac asked him. She was glad Harm's mom was coming here so quickly. She loved her as much as Mattie did, and enjoyed the mothering she got from the older Mrs. Rabb as well.
"No – she ordered us to stay with Mattie and not to worry about them. They're gonna take a taxi here when they get in. Mac, you look bushed. When that cot gets here, I want you to try to sleep for a while. I'm going to go downstairs and rustle up some rations; you can spell me after your nap."
"Harm—"Mac began, but was cut off.
"That's an order, Colonel. I'm not too worried about what Dr. Masters would do to us, but if my mom sees us in this state when she and Frank get here, she'll chew our sixes clear off. Not to mention Harriet when she and Bud get here."
"Good point."
"Right. So...you sit and wait for the cot, while I head downstairs to the cafeteria. I want to also check in with the office, too. I'll be back soon." He leaned over to kiss Mac, and she placed her palm on his stubby cheek as she returned it in kind. After they broke apart, she was slightly breathless. God, this man could kiss!
"Okay, flyboy. Stay away from the nurses, you hear?" Harm laughed and rolled his eyes at her, then headed for the doorway...shaking his head as Mac smiled at his retreating back before turning back in her chair next to the bed to take Mattie's hand in hers, and wait for her to wake up again.
END OF CHAPTER 11