Disclaimer: I don't own this life, I don't own this computer, and I don't
own Yugioh!
Confidential Confessions
[Ryo P.O.V.]
It seems almost impossible to hold on anymore... After everything that's happened, all I can think about is leaving... What if Bakura really doesn't love me? What if it's all a mistake? After all, I am just a hopeless hikari in search of a friend... I know I can't come to him for love or friendship, but I yearn to... I want so badly to tell him, but the fear of what he'll do to me if I tell him prevents me from doing so... Maybe I should just leave... It would give me a hell of a lot better life if I did, wouldn't it?
[Bakura P.O.V.]
What is wrong with me? Why have I done it all of these years? He was only an innocent child in search of someone to love him because his damned family wouldn't! And I had to be so damn hard on him! Always calling him weak, always beating him and putting him down in ways unimaginable...
Can you forgive me again, I don't know what I said, but I didn't mean to hurt you
Ra, what a baka I am! I'm just a soulless, cold, bully! He deserves so much better, yet I haven't given it to him! I'm surprised he hasn't resorted to what I do after I abuse him... You would think that he would have tried something by now... but, no... I guess he's stronger than what I've given him credit for...
I heard the words come out, I felt that I would die, it hurts so much to hurt you
I've broken his soul, his dignity, and his life... It's inhuman to ask for his forgiveness now... But what choice do I have than to ask him? My only options are to beg for forgiveness from him, or just leave him so he won't have to suffer my abuse any longer. I know that if I just promise not to hurt him anymore I'll eventually break it... And I cannot guarantee Ra's protection for him either... Wow, Bakura, you're in a deep mess this time... What do you plan to do to get out now?
Then you look at me, you're not shouting anymore, you're silently broken
[Ryo P.O.V.]
Has all my life really been a lie? Have I really just been hoping to reach things out of my grasp? Why can't things ever turn out the way you want them to? The only ting I ever wanted was a friend, I've asked for nothing more in return... When Bakura first appeared, I thought my wish had been granted... I thought that for the first time in my life, someone would love me for who I am... But I guess not, I guess I really have been blinded by the truth with my dreams... So has it all been for nothing, Bakura? Have I dreamt about you and I living happily for no reason at all? I've just been hopeless and worthless to you, haven't I? Haven't I...
[Bakura P.O.V.]
I wonder if he knows that I can listen to what he's saying through our mental link... Probably not... otherwise he wouldn't be saying all of that... Now what should I do? At first he seemed to love me, but now he's regretting it is what it looks like to me... Should I tell him? He could just think that I'm making it up to trick him or that I'm making fun of him... I shouldn't be thinking these things... If he is saying how he truly feels, I should as well... If only I knew how to come about telling him...
I'd give anything now, to kill those words for you, each time I say something I regret, I cry, I don't want to lose you, but somehow I know that you will never leave me
I carry in my heart my feelings of regret... I never meant to do those things to him... I just want to be with him... Only the two of us, sharing a life of happiness and love... Why are things never this easy to say to the one you love?! If I could then we'd have admitted out feelings to each other long ago! Ra, damn it! Why am I so self conscious? Why am I so self centered and inconsiderate?! Why didn't you protect him from me...? That's it! I don't care anymore! I'm telling him!
[Ryo P.O.V.]
I've kept it in my room... in case I would need to use it... I never have... So the shining silver blade is stainless from my blood still... That will end today... No longer will I be able to look at my reflection in that blade... covered in blood it will be... covered in blood... Goodbye, Bakura... I did not leave because of you... I left because I could never help you... it's my fault entirely that you're like this... and I'm sorry... In order for you to have a better life, you need to get rid of the only problem in your life... me... I'll miss you, and I know you won't miss me, but that's how you are... I cannot change that...
Reaching into a black velvet covered box, I lift the key to my salvation... the key to my freedom... the key to his happiness... I know running it across won't work, because I don't know if I'll be cutting the right place, I need a guaranteed death... so there's only one thing to do... I pick up the blade and ram it hard into my wrist... He won't be able to pull that out if he decides he wants to use the blade himself now... It is through my wrist... One side to the other... But if he does manage to pull it out, while he is, it will cut through my veins on the way up... There is my guaranteed death... I feel my breathing grow shallow and my body lose its balance... My body now falls limp as the floor from underneath me comes up to greet me...
[Bakura P.O.V.]
That's strange... I just got this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach... and my wrist is tingling... It's probably nothing... I walk out of my room and make my way over to Ryo's... Now this is really strange... I can't feel him here anymore... Perhaps he's not inside... perhaps he's left... gone out for a walk or something... No harm in checking to see, is there? Wait, wouldn't this be invading his privacy? It would be wise to knock first...
There's no answer in my return to my knocking, so I knock again... still nothing... The door is unlocked so I turn the knob and protrude my head in slightly through the small crack I make... What I saw on the floor shocked me... There were clothes everywhere... Ryo usually puts them away so neatly in his drawers... Hey, the bathroom light is on... and the door is open as well...
I push the door completely open and walk inside Ryo's room... As I make my way over to the bathroom, I begin to pick up the clothes lying on the floor, fold them and place them neatly on the bed... That was... odd... I never fold up my own clothes, let alone Ryo's... Ok, ignore it... Now... I wonder where Ryo-
The site of the bathroom left me in shock... The white tiles were now red... Ryo's once white hair was now dyed a crimson dark red of his own blood... I caught glimpse of a knife jammed into his wrist and I almost vomited... I began backing away from his body until I tripped over my own feet walking backwards, fell, and hit my head hard on the corner of his metal bed...
"R-Ryo..."
I can't believe that he... Again, I caught glimpse of the knife in his wrist like that and I couldn't take my eyes off of it... I succeeded in letting out my feelings with involuntarily gagging over and over again... Oh, Ra... What have I done to him? What have I done...?
Cause you were made for me, somehow I'll make you see, how happy you make me, I can't live this life, without you by my side, I need you to survive
Sitting here on the floor, staring at his lifeless eyes... I realize that I drove him to do this... I drove him to insanity... and I drove him to his early grave... Suicide, Ryo? Was that the way to go? Suicide?! Tears ran down my face as I began crawling towards his body... I wonder if I should try to take the blade out... No, that will sever his veins... Damn it, he knew I would try that! So now I can't use the blade on myself and I can't take it out to try to save him either... Ryo, you really messed up this time... You really messed up...
So stay with me, you look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside, that I'm sorry
I cannot bear to look at your open, distant eyes... So I reach over and close them... You didn't deserve to die this way... No, you didn't... If anyone did, it was me... I deserved to die in such a horrible way such as this... There is no honor in suicide, Ryo... It isn't the answer... Only worthless, pathetic, failures such as me deserve something like this... Now it really is too late to say I'm sorry... It really is too late to say I love you... All hope is lost... And so is my love... my only love...
And you forgive me again, you're my one true friend, and I never meant to hurt you
I know that Ryo and Bakura fans are going to come hunt me down and kill me for this... But I can never seem to write a happy ending... I hope some of you all enjoyed this anyways... I'll try harder next time to make something better...
Confidential Confessions
[Ryo P.O.V.]
It seems almost impossible to hold on anymore... After everything that's happened, all I can think about is leaving... What if Bakura really doesn't love me? What if it's all a mistake? After all, I am just a hopeless hikari in search of a friend... I know I can't come to him for love or friendship, but I yearn to... I want so badly to tell him, but the fear of what he'll do to me if I tell him prevents me from doing so... Maybe I should just leave... It would give me a hell of a lot better life if I did, wouldn't it?
[Bakura P.O.V.]
What is wrong with me? Why have I done it all of these years? He was only an innocent child in search of someone to love him because his damned family wouldn't! And I had to be so damn hard on him! Always calling him weak, always beating him and putting him down in ways unimaginable...
Can you forgive me again, I don't know what I said, but I didn't mean to hurt you
Ra, what a baka I am! I'm just a soulless, cold, bully! He deserves so much better, yet I haven't given it to him! I'm surprised he hasn't resorted to what I do after I abuse him... You would think that he would have tried something by now... but, no... I guess he's stronger than what I've given him credit for...
I heard the words come out, I felt that I would die, it hurts so much to hurt you
I've broken his soul, his dignity, and his life... It's inhuman to ask for his forgiveness now... But what choice do I have than to ask him? My only options are to beg for forgiveness from him, or just leave him so he won't have to suffer my abuse any longer. I know that if I just promise not to hurt him anymore I'll eventually break it... And I cannot guarantee Ra's protection for him either... Wow, Bakura, you're in a deep mess this time... What do you plan to do to get out now?
Then you look at me, you're not shouting anymore, you're silently broken
[Ryo P.O.V.]
Has all my life really been a lie? Have I really just been hoping to reach things out of my grasp? Why can't things ever turn out the way you want them to? The only ting I ever wanted was a friend, I've asked for nothing more in return... When Bakura first appeared, I thought my wish had been granted... I thought that for the first time in my life, someone would love me for who I am... But I guess not, I guess I really have been blinded by the truth with my dreams... So has it all been for nothing, Bakura? Have I dreamt about you and I living happily for no reason at all? I've just been hopeless and worthless to you, haven't I? Haven't I...
[Bakura P.O.V.]
I wonder if he knows that I can listen to what he's saying through our mental link... Probably not... otherwise he wouldn't be saying all of that... Now what should I do? At first he seemed to love me, but now he's regretting it is what it looks like to me... Should I tell him? He could just think that I'm making it up to trick him or that I'm making fun of him... I shouldn't be thinking these things... If he is saying how he truly feels, I should as well... If only I knew how to come about telling him...
I'd give anything now, to kill those words for you, each time I say something I regret, I cry, I don't want to lose you, but somehow I know that you will never leave me
I carry in my heart my feelings of regret... I never meant to do those things to him... I just want to be with him... Only the two of us, sharing a life of happiness and love... Why are things never this easy to say to the one you love?! If I could then we'd have admitted out feelings to each other long ago! Ra, damn it! Why am I so self conscious? Why am I so self centered and inconsiderate?! Why didn't you protect him from me...? That's it! I don't care anymore! I'm telling him!
[Ryo P.O.V.]
I've kept it in my room... in case I would need to use it... I never have... So the shining silver blade is stainless from my blood still... That will end today... No longer will I be able to look at my reflection in that blade... covered in blood it will be... covered in blood... Goodbye, Bakura... I did not leave because of you... I left because I could never help you... it's my fault entirely that you're like this... and I'm sorry... In order for you to have a better life, you need to get rid of the only problem in your life... me... I'll miss you, and I know you won't miss me, but that's how you are... I cannot change that...
Reaching into a black velvet covered box, I lift the key to my salvation... the key to my freedom... the key to his happiness... I know running it across won't work, because I don't know if I'll be cutting the right place, I need a guaranteed death... so there's only one thing to do... I pick up the blade and ram it hard into my wrist... He won't be able to pull that out if he decides he wants to use the blade himself now... It is through my wrist... One side to the other... But if he does manage to pull it out, while he is, it will cut through my veins on the way up... There is my guaranteed death... I feel my breathing grow shallow and my body lose its balance... My body now falls limp as the floor from underneath me comes up to greet me...
[Bakura P.O.V.]
That's strange... I just got this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach... and my wrist is tingling... It's probably nothing... I walk out of my room and make my way over to Ryo's... Now this is really strange... I can't feel him here anymore... Perhaps he's not inside... perhaps he's left... gone out for a walk or something... No harm in checking to see, is there? Wait, wouldn't this be invading his privacy? It would be wise to knock first...
There's no answer in my return to my knocking, so I knock again... still nothing... The door is unlocked so I turn the knob and protrude my head in slightly through the small crack I make... What I saw on the floor shocked me... There were clothes everywhere... Ryo usually puts them away so neatly in his drawers... Hey, the bathroom light is on... and the door is open as well...
I push the door completely open and walk inside Ryo's room... As I make my way over to the bathroom, I begin to pick up the clothes lying on the floor, fold them and place them neatly on the bed... That was... odd... I never fold up my own clothes, let alone Ryo's... Ok, ignore it... Now... I wonder where Ryo-
The site of the bathroom left me in shock... The white tiles were now red... Ryo's once white hair was now dyed a crimson dark red of his own blood... I caught glimpse of a knife jammed into his wrist and I almost vomited... I began backing away from his body until I tripped over my own feet walking backwards, fell, and hit my head hard on the corner of his metal bed...
"R-Ryo..."
I can't believe that he... Again, I caught glimpse of the knife in his wrist like that and I couldn't take my eyes off of it... I succeeded in letting out my feelings with involuntarily gagging over and over again... Oh, Ra... What have I done to him? What have I done...?
Cause you were made for me, somehow I'll make you see, how happy you make me, I can't live this life, without you by my side, I need you to survive
Sitting here on the floor, staring at his lifeless eyes... I realize that I drove him to do this... I drove him to insanity... and I drove him to his early grave... Suicide, Ryo? Was that the way to go? Suicide?! Tears ran down my face as I began crawling towards his body... I wonder if I should try to take the blade out... No, that will sever his veins... Damn it, he knew I would try that! So now I can't use the blade on myself and I can't take it out to try to save him either... Ryo, you really messed up this time... You really messed up...
So stay with me, you look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside, that I'm sorry
I cannot bear to look at your open, distant eyes... So I reach over and close them... You didn't deserve to die this way... No, you didn't... If anyone did, it was me... I deserved to die in such a horrible way such as this... There is no honor in suicide, Ryo... It isn't the answer... Only worthless, pathetic, failures such as me deserve something like this... Now it really is too late to say I'm sorry... It really is too late to say I love you... All hope is lost... And so is my love... my only love...
And you forgive me again, you're my one true friend, and I never meant to hurt you
I know that Ryo and Bakura fans are going to come hunt me down and kill me for this... But I can never seem to write a happy ending... I hope some of you all enjoyed this anyways... I'll try harder next time to make something better...