CALLEIGH
He's already there, in the lab, and I take a moment to gather myself before I walk in there. Because I know, as soon as I do, he'll turn to me, and say my name. 'Calleigh'. And his voice will feel like being caressed by velvet, and I will shiver, just a little, a tingle down my spine. And he will look at me, right in the eyes, and I know he looks at almost no-one else like that, and I'll be able to see right into those blue depths, so like the ocean he watches every evening. And while one part of me tells him about the bullet, about the crime, another part of me will want to reach up, and gently, stroke his cheek, just once, with all those tenderness I can give him.
Because sometimes, when I look into his eyes, I see an empty bleakness. Especially lately. And I desperately want to pull him to me and try to chase away that bleakness. And I know I can't because, if I ever did, he'd very gently push me away, and tell me, in his very softest voice, the one that breaks my heart, that this is inappropriate.
Even I can see he loves Yelina. And much as I wish he didn't, as much as I know she is all wrong for him, I cannot tell him how to live his life. So, I'll push all those feelings for him right down into a tiny ball inside, and hide them with a bright smile and a southern charm, as I learned to do years ago, at my daddy's knee.
But, its getting harder and harder to do that. And impossible to be his friend, and not be in love with him.
But I will not stop being his friend, beside his side, whether he knows I'm there or not. He needs friends, and doesn't have that many. I won't force him to lose me by my inappropriate behaviour.
I really must get over this crush.