This Rose of Velvet
Chapter Seven: On My Knees
=
Sango stared numbly at Miroku over her coffee. The steam started to make her uncomfortable and she lowered the mug. At a loss for what to do, she held it still, tapping her fingernails against the porcelain.
It couldn't possibly be as bad as he said.
"So she came to school in a coat every day. The fact that the other students didn't see her wounds doesn't strengthen the case any."
Miroku leaned forward, his mouth set in a grim line she'd never seen before. "I've been asking a lot of questions at school lately. Surprisingly, there are quite a few who feel bad for the girl, and are quite willing to testify. No, they didn't see her wounds, but she was limping, for Chrissake. Someone bumped into her and she nearly fainted from pain." Sipping his coffee, he looked out the window vacantly, as if remembering, his eyebrows furrowed. "Her eyes are so sad, Sango."
She swallowed painfully. She was not used to this man; she was used to the player she had met a few years ago, the ever-laughing irritant that wormed his way into your heart before breaking it in half. The seriousness marring his face now gave her considerable pause, to be sure.
"Her twin is a haughty brat with a cruel face. I've never seen identical twins look so unalike in my life," Miroku continued when the silence continued. "She manages to pull a few cute faces to get her out of trouble, I've heard. Her teacher barely tolerates her, but apparently the principal is willing to do back-flips for her. Kikyo Higurashi. Sadly, I'm not authorized to look through her papers."
"I'm sure her grades are mediocre, at best. A person like her is often caught up in the social aspect and doesn't pay attention in class," Sango murmured thoughtfully. She had always been a good judge of character, a skill she prided herself on. 'I wonder where I went wrong with Miroku. I can't believe I actually thought him to be a decent man.'
"True enough, from what her teachers have told me. She manages B's, however, through intervention from the principal. I heard," he paused, leaning in closer. "That he is quite interested in Kikyo's stepmother, and yes, in the way you think I mean."
"So we can't count on him to make a solid testimony."
"We can trust him about as far as we can throw the fat bastard. No; we'll have to rely on the students, even though a judge and jury will find that evidence slanted at best. The teachers have made it clear that they won't risk their jobs for Kagome."
Sango leaned back in the booth, rolling her head around to ease the kinks in her neck. Her mind was already quick at work for a way to build the evidence in Kagome's favor, highschool witnesses or not. "You said she had a friend at school. Tell me more about him."
"Sesshoumaru Hizunuma? Why?"
"Something tells me we'll be expecting help from his family. And something tells me we'll be needing that help desperately."
======
Sesshoumaru didn't even bother to look at the receptionist. He knew where her room was. The hospital was small and often full, so he doubted Fori would have made arrangements to move it. When he finally reached N-355, he paused before the door.
'What will I say to her? I can't very well tell her Fori killed her mother, or anything about Fori, for that matter. She'll probably give in to her bitch of a stepmother if she became intimidated.' He sighed, loudly.
"Oh, my. Young man?"
He started, then turned on his heel. A nurse. "Yes?"
"Uhm..." she got this confidential, worried look, like she was about to release taboo information. "The patient's stepmother is currently in there and... Well, it might be best to wait until she leaves before appearing..."
Shocked into immobility, Sesshoumaru stared at the young nurse, who continued to look fretfully at her shoes. He glanced at the door, wondering what damage that bitch was causing in there. Stepping quickly, he moved towards the nurse. "Thank you, very much. Do you know where I may wait so that I may know when she leaves but not be seen?"
She smiled then, warmly with that continued thread of worry. "Of course. Come with me."
======
Sesshoumaru slipped in scarcely a second after Fori left. Kagome, who had been looking out the window on the verge of tears, registered his presence a minute or so after his arrival.
After waiting restlessly on the threshold of the room without acknowledgement, Sesshoumaru stepped further in and sat down on a chair next to her bed. Kagome looked away from him, using her bangs to shield her face.
"Kagome."
The simple utterance was enough to break down the mightiest of her defenses. Feeling her lips stretch into a horrible grimace, she cried. Hiccuping occasionally, she felt her chest expand with each sob, getting ready to explode in a mesmeric fury of emotional fireworks.
Something in his throat wrenched painfully as he realized she was weeping. The force of it shook her from head to toe, and her arms were wrapped about herself protectively. Unthinking, he reached for her. "Kagome..."
"I thought I could get out... I really thought I could!"
Her voice startled him, washing over him like a thick tide of sand. He waded through it carefully and gingerly put his hands on her shoulders. They were bone-thin through the hospital gown, the bones frail. Sesshoumaru felt the deep, delicate beauty they would become when she grew into herself. "You can, Kagome! You can get out of this. My father is going to help you."
"No, no..."
"Yes. We went downtown earlier this day, and he has spoken to some of his associates--"
"No! You don't understand!" This time, she was unable to keep her face concealed. Bringing her head up in spite of her tear-streaked face, Kagome looked at him in the eyes. His own widened in revelation at what he saw. 'You see, I am ugly after all,' she thought at him, although she knew he could not hear.
Her eyes. Her sweet, dead eyes. He had never seen them so overcome with the emotion they nearly overflowed with now... an odd mixture of love and tortured betrayal. Fear.
"They said they're going to kill my father if I go against them," she explained finally, closing her eyes to trap the tears in. Closing her eyes so she couldn't see his revulsion at her face.
His fingers tightened around her shoulders subconsciously, and he released her quickly when she cried out in pain. "I'm sorry," he muttered automatically. Her father. Of course. The one thing she still felt a frayed, worn tie to, despite what he has allowed to happen to her.
Her father. In many ways, he was as bad as Fori, if not worse, for where Fori was simply malignant, he was scared. Too scared to protect his own blood!
"What has your father ever done for you?" Sesshoumaru didn't realize he was yelling until a passing nurse stared, wondering whether she should remove him from the hospital. He lowered his voice but it still held the force of a shout. "He has put you through a life of... he's despicable for allowing this to happen to you, Kagome. He is not worth your protection if you have not been deemed worth his in his eyes."
Kagome stared in dismay at whom she considered her friend. How could he not understand the ties of blood? "He is my father and I love him," she stated quietly, her eyes narrowing in pity. "How can you not see that? He is worth my love no matter what he's done to me, for he does not know he does it to me. How can I hold him to what he is not aware of?"
"He's bloody well aware of it, Kagome. No man could be so blind."
"My father is so blind."
"He is worth your freedom?"
"He is worth my life."
Sesshoumaru paced back and forth a few times before settling on leaning face-first against a wall. Something was slowly breaking inside him, and he didn't know what. He wanted to clutch at something in anger and clutch at something in love, and he wanted, more than anything, for Kagome to be happy. A happiness she had never known.
His pride battled with something primal deep inside him, a feeling so engraved in him that he had never known it was there. The pride he had scarred himself with proudly, this new thing had been so omnipresent in his life he had failed to notice it. They battled in his chest for long moments, until his lungs were short of breath and his stomach was wrinkled and wretched.
He would always be ashamed to say his pride won that battle, leaving him shaken and hollow in his ribcage. Something fell from him at that moment, and it had taken him much time of careful deliberation to lure it back inside himself.
Pushing off the wall casually, he spoke into it. He couldn't bear to look at her.
"Fine. Throw away your life for something even more worthless. I have no use for what you have become due to your lack of self-respect. Give yourself to Fori in exchange for something that is hers, and always will be."
He turned slightly, so his profile was visible to her. He faced the door way now, and was thankful for it. "Wallow in your uselessness until it swallows you whole, Kagome. Your mother would be ashamed."
And he walked out, silent and forsaken.
======
Of all things, she hadn't been expecting that. Not from Sesshoumaru...
In spite of what she thought of herself, she had counted on him to say what it took to lift her spirits high again. Selfishly, she had expected this.
'I am merely a shell of what I could have been,' she thought, lifting her face up to invisible rain she could only feel when she reached up with her awareness. She closed her eyes briefly. 'And yet I haven't the courage to end it for myself.'
"I simply haven't the courage," she said aloud, throwing her face down into the cover of her hands as she screamed silently into herself, letting the echo shoot down her spine like a thousand electric waves. The pain covered her all over, burning away the image she projected to those around her.
Gritting her teeth, she threw her head upwards once more, emitting a high, keening scream through them. The screech grew punctuated with sobs and eventually fell away into the darkness she knew was within herself now.
Her life had never been too unbearable, until she met Sesshoumaru and became introduced to hope. The loss of hope left her groping, wildly, for something to fill the gaping wound it left in its stead. Spiraling away into herself, she sought shelter from what she knew could protect her from the ravages of this evil world.
A world of her own, inside herself.
======
Sesshoumaru heard her scream, and almost turned back, to run to her, to comfort her and brush away her tears and tell her that everything would be okay. Almost.
For the pride was there now, and it didn't allow it, for she had shunned him, though she probably hadn't known it. She had left him for the fragmented memories of a past ripped from her! Left him for the broken man that wouldn't protect his offspring. Left him, Sesshoumaru!
He was outside when it ended. Her cry subsided, and he fell to his knees heavily, uncaring of the dirt he knew to cover the world. Allowing it to besmirch him, he took solace in the fierce wind blowing about him.
On his knees, a small, silent part of him begged to something higher than he could comprehend, high enough to help him. To help her.
On his knees, a small, silent part of him crumpled, beaten.
On his knees, he renewed himself.
==========================================================
A/N end of chapter seven! A bit short, but poignant, yes? I'm inspired anew, now-- the mini-hiatus you have all suffered is ended, and a reign of happy ficciness has prevailed! Happy reading!
Chapter Seven: On My Knees
=
Sango stared numbly at Miroku over her coffee. The steam started to make her uncomfortable and she lowered the mug. At a loss for what to do, she held it still, tapping her fingernails against the porcelain.
It couldn't possibly be as bad as he said.
"So she came to school in a coat every day. The fact that the other students didn't see her wounds doesn't strengthen the case any."
Miroku leaned forward, his mouth set in a grim line she'd never seen before. "I've been asking a lot of questions at school lately. Surprisingly, there are quite a few who feel bad for the girl, and are quite willing to testify. No, they didn't see her wounds, but she was limping, for Chrissake. Someone bumped into her and she nearly fainted from pain." Sipping his coffee, he looked out the window vacantly, as if remembering, his eyebrows furrowed. "Her eyes are so sad, Sango."
She swallowed painfully. She was not used to this man; she was used to the player she had met a few years ago, the ever-laughing irritant that wormed his way into your heart before breaking it in half. The seriousness marring his face now gave her considerable pause, to be sure.
"Her twin is a haughty brat with a cruel face. I've never seen identical twins look so unalike in my life," Miroku continued when the silence continued. "She manages to pull a few cute faces to get her out of trouble, I've heard. Her teacher barely tolerates her, but apparently the principal is willing to do back-flips for her. Kikyo Higurashi. Sadly, I'm not authorized to look through her papers."
"I'm sure her grades are mediocre, at best. A person like her is often caught up in the social aspect and doesn't pay attention in class," Sango murmured thoughtfully. She had always been a good judge of character, a skill she prided herself on. 'I wonder where I went wrong with Miroku. I can't believe I actually thought him to be a decent man.'
"True enough, from what her teachers have told me. She manages B's, however, through intervention from the principal. I heard," he paused, leaning in closer. "That he is quite interested in Kikyo's stepmother, and yes, in the way you think I mean."
"So we can't count on him to make a solid testimony."
"We can trust him about as far as we can throw the fat bastard. No; we'll have to rely on the students, even though a judge and jury will find that evidence slanted at best. The teachers have made it clear that they won't risk their jobs for Kagome."
Sango leaned back in the booth, rolling her head around to ease the kinks in her neck. Her mind was already quick at work for a way to build the evidence in Kagome's favor, highschool witnesses or not. "You said she had a friend at school. Tell me more about him."
"Sesshoumaru Hizunuma? Why?"
"Something tells me we'll be expecting help from his family. And something tells me we'll be needing that help desperately."
======
Sesshoumaru didn't even bother to look at the receptionist. He knew where her room was. The hospital was small and often full, so he doubted Fori would have made arrangements to move it. When he finally reached N-355, he paused before the door.
'What will I say to her? I can't very well tell her Fori killed her mother, or anything about Fori, for that matter. She'll probably give in to her bitch of a stepmother if she became intimidated.' He sighed, loudly.
"Oh, my. Young man?"
He started, then turned on his heel. A nurse. "Yes?"
"Uhm..." she got this confidential, worried look, like she was about to release taboo information. "The patient's stepmother is currently in there and... Well, it might be best to wait until she leaves before appearing..."
Shocked into immobility, Sesshoumaru stared at the young nurse, who continued to look fretfully at her shoes. He glanced at the door, wondering what damage that bitch was causing in there. Stepping quickly, he moved towards the nurse. "Thank you, very much. Do you know where I may wait so that I may know when she leaves but not be seen?"
She smiled then, warmly with that continued thread of worry. "Of course. Come with me."
======
Sesshoumaru slipped in scarcely a second after Fori left. Kagome, who had been looking out the window on the verge of tears, registered his presence a minute or so after his arrival.
After waiting restlessly on the threshold of the room without acknowledgement, Sesshoumaru stepped further in and sat down on a chair next to her bed. Kagome looked away from him, using her bangs to shield her face.
"Kagome."
The simple utterance was enough to break down the mightiest of her defenses. Feeling her lips stretch into a horrible grimace, she cried. Hiccuping occasionally, she felt her chest expand with each sob, getting ready to explode in a mesmeric fury of emotional fireworks.
Something in his throat wrenched painfully as he realized she was weeping. The force of it shook her from head to toe, and her arms were wrapped about herself protectively. Unthinking, he reached for her. "Kagome..."
"I thought I could get out... I really thought I could!"
Her voice startled him, washing over him like a thick tide of sand. He waded through it carefully and gingerly put his hands on her shoulders. They were bone-thin through the hospital gown, the bones frail. Sesshoumaru felt the deep, delicate beauty they would become when she grew into herself. "You can, Kagome! You can get out of this. My father is going to help you."
"No, no..."
"Yes. We went downtown earlier this day, and he has spoken to some of his associates--"
"No! You don't understand!" This time, she was unable to keep her face concealed. Bringing her head up in spite of her tear-streaked face, Kagome looked at him in the eyes. His own widened in revelation at what he saw. 'You see, I am ugly after all,' she thought at him, although she knew he could not hear.
Her eyes. Her sweet, dead eyes. He had never seen them so overcome with the emotion they nearly overflowed with now... an odd mixture of love and tortured betrayal. Fear.
"They said they're going to kill my father if I go against them," she explained finally, closing her eyes to trap the tears in. Closing her eyes so she couldn't see his revulsion at her face.
His fingers tightened around her shoulders subconsciously, and he released her quickly when she cried out in pain. "I'm sorry," he muttered automatically. Her father. Of course. The one thing she still felt a frayed, worn tie to, despite what he has allowed to happen to her.
Her father. In many ways, he was as bad as Fori, if not worse, for where Fori was simply malignant, he was scared. Too scared to protect his own blood!
"What has your father ever done for you?" Sesshoumaru didn't realize he was yelling until a passing nurse stared, wondering whether she should remove him from the hospital. He lowered his voice but it still held the force of a shout. "He has put you through a life of... he's despicable for allowing this to happen to you, Kagome. He is not worth your protection if you have not been deemed worth his in his eyes."
Kagome stared in dismay at whom she considered her friend. How could he not understand the ties of blood? "He is my father and I love him," she stated quietly, her eyes narrowing in pity. "How can you not see that? He is worth my love no matter what he's done to me, for he does not know he does it to me. How can I hold him to what he is not aware of?"
"He's bloody well aware of it, Kagome. No man could be so blind."
"My father is so blind."
"He is worth your freedom?"
"He is worth my life."
Sesshoumaru paced back and forth a few times before settling on leaning face-first against a wall. Something was slowly breaking inside him, and he didn't know what. He wanted to clutch at something in anger and clutch at something in love, and he wanted, more than anything, for Kagome to be happy. A happiness she had never known.
His pride battled with something primal deep inside him, a feeling so engraved in him that he had never known it was there. The pride he had scarred himself with proudly, this new thing had been so omnipresent in his life he had failed to notice it. They battled in his chest for long moments, until his lungs were short of breath and his stomach was wrinkled and wretched.
He would always be ashamed to say his pride won that battle, leaving him shaken and hollow in his ribcage. Something fell from him at that moment, and it had taken him much time of careful deliberation to lure it back inside himself.
Pushing off the wall casually, he spoke into it. He couldn't bear to look at her.
"Fine. Throw away your life for something even more worthless. I have no use for what you have become due to your lack of self-respect. Give yourself to Fori in exchange for something that is hers, and always will be."
He turned slightly, so his profile was visible to her. He faced the door way now, and was thankful for it. "Wallow in your uselessness until it swallows you whole, Kagome. Your mother would be ashamed."
And he walked out, silent and forsaken.
======
Of all things, she hadn't been expecting that. Not from Sesshoumaru...
In spite of what she thought of herself, she had counted on him to say what it took to lift her spirits high again. Selfishly, she had expected this.
'I am merely a shell of what I could have been,' she thought, lifting her face up to invisible rain she could only feel when she reached up with her awareness. She closed her eyes briefly. 'And yet I haven't the courage to end it for myself.'
"I simply haven't the courage," she said aloud, throwing her face down into the cover of her hands as she screamed silently into herself, letting the echo shoot down her spine like a thousand electric waves. The pain covered her all over, burning away the image she projected to those around her.
Gritting her teeth, she threw her head upwards once more, emitting a high, keening scream through them. The screech grew punctuated with sobs and eventually fell away into the darkness she knew was within herself now.
Her life had never been too unbearable, until she met Sesshoumaru and became introduced to hope. The loss of hope left her groping, wildly, for something to fill the gaping wound it left in its stead. Spiraling away into herself, she sought shelter from what she knew could protect her from the ravages of this evil world.
A world of her own, inside herself.
======
Sesshoumaru heard her scream, and almost turned back, to run to her, to comfort her and brush away her tears and tell her that everything would be okay. Almost.
For the pride was there now, and it didn't allow it, for she had shunned him, though she probably hadn't known it. She had left him for the fragmented memories of a past ripped from her! Left him for the broken man that wouldn't protect his offspring. Left him, Sesshoumaru!
He was outside when it ended. Her cry subsided, and he fell to his knees heavily, uncaring of the dirt he knew to cover the world. Allowing it to besmirch him, he took solace in the fierce wind blowing about him.
On his knees, a small, silent part of him begged to something higher than he could comprehend, high enough to help him. To help her.
On his knees, a small, silent part of him crumpled, beaten.
On his knees, he renewed himself.
==========================================================
A/N end of chapter seven! A bit short, but poignant, yes? I'm inspired anew, now-- the mini-hiatus you have all suffered is ended, and a reign of happy ficciness has prevailed! Happy reading!