This Rose of Velvet
Chapter Eight: Unlisted and Listless
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"God DAMN it!" He punched his own bedding in self-disgust. In all his life, he'd never encountered such a nagging train of thought as the thought that stuck in his head today. No matter what he thought about, what he tried to do to distract himself, it all led to the same place.
Kagome.
Brushing his bangs back with a sigh, Sesshoumaru breathed in deeply through his nostrils. Father should be home any time now, ready to discuss the course of action. Apparently he had been sifting the locale carefully, trying to get the tiniest of information on Kagome and her stepmother.
'I can only hope he has good luck,' Sesshoumaru thought wearily, allowing his bangs to get into his eyes once again. It was time for a haircut. Not that it mattered at this particular point in time. Once again, his thoughts strayed to the object of his near-obsession. His chest tightened in response to what had transpired that day; mostly in anger, but some in despair. He certainly hadn't MEANT to give her the "tough love" treatment, but as long as he had, he might as well see how it worked on her.
For some reason, he didn't think it'd push her in the right direction. After all, she'd been dealing with "tough love" all her life; her natural reaction was most likely to draw herself into a shell.
That goddamn shell he'd spent precious time wiggling into. Only to be shoved out again.
His ribcage tightened painfully once more as he sought to control his breathing.
'Miserable brat,' he growled to himself, his anger getting the best of him. Pacing the room, he thought rapidly to all the various things he and his father could do. There was the straight legal system, but he sure as hell wasn't interested in giving Fori a fair trial. There was grisly assassination duties, but if what his father said was correct and Fori had become this "Black Queen," there was few willing to cross her.
Compromise was unappealing. InuTaisho wouldn't allow his immediate family to stain their hands in blood, so killing the bitch himself was out of the question. Calculating a Mob riot underneath Fori's nose and using it against her would be easy among the two Inu youkai, but it would take far too long to do Kagome any good. Fori would probably not allow Kagome to change legal guardianship, and her father was obviously useless.
The trial seemed to be the only halfway decent answer, and the fact that it lied with a jury would make things difficult. There would be briberies on both sides, of course, and manipulation to scare off Fori's supporters.
Sesshoumaru knew his father to be capable of all those things. The hard part was actually convincing him to do it.
'I think he's regained trust in the legal system despite his experience, so I doubt he'd take a hand in making sure our case wins. So either the trial would go on for too long or Fori would win.'
"I'll have to convince Father somehow," he said, unaware that he had said it out loud.
"Convince me of what?" came a gruff voice behind him.
'Damn! I hate it when he sneaks up on me,' Sesshoumaru thought irritably, then swallowed his pride and turned to his father. "What news?"
InuTaisho seemed ready to pursue the "convince Father" comment, but dropped it as he recalled all the information he'd gathered. He brightened minutely, offering a smile of comfort. "I've found someone as interested as righting this wrong as you are. I've called them to a meeting here in about an hour. I'll convey everything I've found then."
Sesshoumaru frowned. Someone else willing to fight for Kagome? He couldn't think of anyone.
He frowned also because he was annoyed at his father's sudden mysteriousness. Was what he had found that shocking? It couldn't be any more shocking than what Sesshoumaru knew already. It came to mind that perhaps he should tell InuTaisho about Kagome's sudden change of mind. As he opened his mouth at his father's back, something held him back.
Watching his father disappear down the hall, Sesshoumaru stared after him dispassionately before retreating back into his room. Perhaps it would be best to tell him that later.
======
When considering everything there was to consider, it amazed her to think that she had actually thought of giving up.
'I do worry for Father," Kagome thought mournfully. 'But... in order to save Father I must save myself. I can't possibly protect him in such subservience, can I?'
She knew she was lying to herself. But she was just desperate enough to risk it. Sesshoumaru had shown her true friendship in the short time she'd been with him, and had felt his pain when she'd refused his help that morning. But she'd changed her mind.
His little exit speech had made her think, despite her intense emotional response to it. She simply couldn't continue in this role she'd been cast into. Sure, she could wait until she was eighteen, like Manna... but that was years from now. To think she'd be subject to all that torture and probably worse techniques in the years to come made her nauseated. Manna. Where was Manna?
Probably far away.
Kagome wondered if Sesshoumaru would withdraw his assistance, and felt slightly panicky at the thought. She should call him. Yes. She would call him.
She attempted sitting up before remembering, painfully, that she could not. Sharp, lightning bolt pain swept through her body as she dropped back onto her stiff hospital bed again. Her teeth ground together as the last of it faded away to a dull ache. Blinking the tears away, she recalled the "nurse" button located at her bed.
The nurse that came in was a kindly older woman, with laugh lines covering her face and warm brown eyes beneath her brow. "Yes, dear?"
Kagome cleared her throat even though it hurt like hell to do so. "May I make a telephone call, please?" It sounded overly polite and hopeful, and as it came out she realized that Fori might have left instructions to refuse all attempts at contact with the outside world.
But no, today was her lucky day.
"Of course you may, dear. Here we are," the nurse said gently, handing her the phone from the far wall. The cord stretched between the two walls like so many miles of coiled springs. "What number shall I dial?"
"Dial?" Oh, no. She didn't know his number! 'Of course I wouldn't. I'd never had any reason to call the guy.' "I'm... I'm not sure. Do you have a phonebook around here? Oh, I'm so sorry to be a nuisance," she added as the older woman blinked a few times.
"It's quite alright. I'll be back with the phone book in a scant few seconds, dear."
She clutched the phone to her chest with a relieved sigh as the nurse exited, her soft slippers scuffing along the tiled hallway softly. The wait seemed to go on for hours, and in such a room time goes by twice as slow as it seems to be. At a loss, she looked out the window, but didn't have much of a view from her bed. Looking at her medical equipment depressed her and looking out of the hallway hurt her eyes. The hallway was so bright it was scary.
Soon enough, the nurse bustled back in with a phonebook. She started to set it on Kagome's lap, but thought better of it when she saw her condition. Instead, she put it on a chair near Kagome's bed and opened it a bit. "What would the name be, dearie?"
"H... Hazunuma."
The name didn't phase the nurse at all, despite Kagome's fears that it would. The old woman found the name well enough, but as expected with such a well-known family, the number was unlisted.
Kagome all but deflated at the nurse's "Sorry, dear," but managed to hold up well enough to offer a thank-you smile at the woman before she left.
'All I can hope is that he comes back.'
======
Fucking Sesshoumaru. He couldn't leave well enough alone, could he? 'Although, I guess technically the situation isn't "well enough," but-- what am I thinking? If Kikyo says it's right, then it's right! Kagome deserves this.'
Somehow, the mental reassurance did nothing to relieve the guilt he felt. Pacing the cement worriedly, InuYasha stood in front of the Higurashi residence. It had never loomed so malignantly before. He recalled how he had left, in pain, after his attempt at the weirdo's cherry. Pained screams echoed after him as he left through the door, piercing cold and pungent through his pain and into his mind, damn near shattering it as he realized what was occurring behind him, just a few walls beyond.
Kikyo hadn't even twitched. She had simply stared ahead, her eyes stony cold but her mouth curved in satisfaction.
He hadn't known Kikyo to be cruel until that day.
But still. Kikyo had told him all sorts of stuff about weirdo. How she used to beat Kikyo up when they were little, and kill her pets and such. The weirdo probably deserved what she got!
"Kikyo lies!" Sesshoumaru's voice floated back to him, raised in anger, his cheeks pink-tinged with barely concealed passion. Righteous fury.
"Damn!" InuYasha muttered to himself. And he continued to walk around in circles.
"InuYasha?"
He spun around, his breath growing light and breezy in apprehension. "Kikyo."
She was pretty as always, the kind of pretty that promises great beauty in maturity. Her cheekbones were high and her eyes darkly brown. Lips so beautiful it made you want to cry.
The resemblance between Kikyo and her sister wasn't so much uncanny as barely there. Mostly it had to do with how they bore themselves, but InuYasha thought that maybe it had to do with how skinny weirdo was. He remembered all the times Kikyo had laughed about stealing her sister's lunch, leaving her with barely anything.
"What are you doing here?" her voice sounded surprised, but pleasantly so. You could taste the smile in it. She stepped down the few steps separating them and stood in front of him, smiling gently. You never really noticed how hard and mean her mouth could become from a distance.
He looked from her to his shoes, and he knew his face appeared as unsure as his voice sounded. "Just to see you."
Her eyebrows flickered inwards in thought but she shrugged it off, taking his arm.
InuYasha let Kikyo lead him inside their house. It rose above them like an especially cruel vulture. He was loathe to enter, but he did so anyway. Albeit with great reluctance.
So deep in thought was he that he had scarcely noticed where she'd led him.
Her bedroom.
She'd refused him access before and after his encounter with the weirdo, always saying endlessly that "A girl's room was private," and he "had no use to be in there anyhow."
InuYasha looked about in confusion, then at Kikyo. He goddamn near panicked when he found her as close as she was. Swallowing that horrid lump in his throat, he gazed down at her.
She returned his look steadily as she slipped her shirt over her head.
======
She knew she wasn't ready to do this, but Fori had commanded she do so.
"You must gain his loyalty now, Kikyo. Nothing enchains a man so effectively as sex."
'I'm not ready!' she screamed to herself. Some masochistic part of herself reveled in her terror. 'Now you know how Kagome felt!'
'She has no feelings.'
It giggled. 'You know that's a lie.'
'Leave me alone!' She took off her bra next, and before she knew it, was standing half-naked in front of a red-faced, panting InuYasha. Vaguely, she felt a brand new emotion: shame.
Remembering Fori's instructions, she lifted InuYasha's hand to her breast. At first he touched hesitantly, afraid that she'd refuse him at the last minute. Then it grew into a hard kneading that made her want to slap him for his ignorance.
But she let him.
Soon they were on the bed, both naked. She lay prone beneath him as he thrust feverishly into her. It had hurt, partly because of his inexperience and partly because her hymen had been particularly strong. She knew herself to be bleeding from the blunt stabbing he was giving her.
She winced in pain every time he drove into her. He, caught up so much in his excitement and the sensation, either couldn't hear or ignored her.
It was over quickly. He had gotten dressed and left, embarrassed and flushed. How awkward he was.
Kikyo curled up into a ball on her bed and squeezed her eyes shut, letting an unfamiliar self-loathing wash over her. The conversation they shared after the deed left her nervous, like a flighty deer.
"Why?" he asked hoarsely, collapsed on top of her after.
"Becau... Because I love you. Do you--" She choked on her words. "Do you love me, InuYasha?"
The pause was lengthy. "Yes."
"I'm glad."
"... Kikyo?"
"Yes?"
"Can... Can we do this... again?"
Here she squeezed her eyes shut, because he was lying in a way that he couldn't see her. She wanted so desperately to say no. "Yes, InuYasha. Wh... Whenever you... Whenever you want."
And he had left, unaware of how she truly felt.
Soon she would come to hate him.
======
"The princess had lost her white silk handkerchief. So pure and beautiful it was! She mourned its loss more than she had mourned anything in her life. Without it, she felt lost and vulnerable.
She clutched herself in her tower, filled with fear at the great, scary world out there that would come to greet her now that she was without her beautiful pure handkerchief. Monsters and mayhem would come into her castle and scare her dreadfully, she knew.
'Oh, dear, oh, dear!' she cried to herself as she looked out the window at the great sky she beheld. 'The world is so much bigger without my white handkerchief!'
And so it was. So it was."
Excerpt from "A Story," by Tsuma Higurashi.
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A/N: Ooh, it's all coming together. In a few chapters this will be all done and I'll have to say bye-bye to it. ;; Noooooo!
Chapter Eight: Unlisted and Listless
=
"God DAMN it!" He punched his own bedding in self-disgust. In all his life, he'd never encountered such a nagging train of thought as the thought that stuck in his head today. No matter what he thought about, what he tried to do to distract himself, it all led to the same place.
Kagome.
Brushing his bangs back with a sigh, Sesshoumaru breathed in deeply through his nostrils. Father should be home any time now, ready to discuss the course of action. Apparently he had been sifting the locale carefully, trying to get the tiniest of information on Kagome and her stepmother.
'I can only hope he has good luck,' Sesshoumaru thought wearily, allowing his bangs to get into his eyes once again. It was time for a haircut. Not that it mattered at this particular point in time. Once again, his thoughts strayed to the object of his near-obsession. His chest tightened in response to what had transpired that day; mostly in anger, but some in despair. He certainly hadn't MEANT to give her the "tough love" treatment, but as long as he had, he might as well see how it worked on her.
For some reason, he didn't think it'd push her in the right direction. After all, she'd been dealing with "tough love" all her life; her natural reaction was most likely to draw herself into a shell.
That goddamn shell he'd spent precious time wiggling into. Only to be shoved out again.
His ribcage tightened painfully once more as he sought to control his breathing.
'Miserable brat,' he growled to himself, his anger getting the best of him. Pacing the room, he thought rapidly to all the various things he and his father could do. There was the straight legal system, but he sure as hell wasn't interested in giving Fori a fair trial. There was grisly assassination duties, but if what his father said was correct and Fori had become this "Black Queen," there was few willing to cross her.
Compromise was unappealing. InuTaisho wouldn't allow his immediate family to stain their hands in blood, so killing the bitch himself was out of the question. Calculating a Mob riot underneath Fori's nose and using it against her would be easy among the two Inu youkai, but it would take far too long to do Kagome any good. Fori would probably not allow Kagome to change legal guardianship, and her father was obviously useless.
The trial seemed to be the only halfway decent answer, and the fact that it lied with a jury would make things difficult. There would be briberies on both sides, of course, and manipulation to scare off Fori's supporters.
Sesshoumaru knew his father to be capable of all those things. The hard part was actually convincing him to do it.
'I think he's regained trust in the legal system despite his experience, so I doubt he'd take a hand in making sure our case wins. So either the trial would go on for too long or Fori would win.'
"I'll have to convince Father somehow," he said, unaware that he had said it out loud.
"Convince me of what?" came a gruff voice behind him.
'Damn! I hate it when he sneaks up on me,' Sesshoumaru thought irritably, then swallowed his pride and turned to his father. "What news?"
InuTaisho seemed ready to pursue the "convince Father" comment, but dropped it as he recalled all the information he'd gathered. He brightened minutely, offering a smile of comfort. "I've found someone as interested as righting this wrong as you are. I've called them to a meeting here in about an hour. I'll convey everything I've found then."
Sesshoumaru frowned. Someone else willing to fight for Kagome? He couldn't think of anyone.
He frowned also because he was annoyed at his father's sudden mysteriousness. Was what he had found that shocking? It couldn't be any more shocking than what Sesshoumaru knew already. It came to mind that perhaps he should tell InuTaisho about Kagome's sudden change of mind. As he opened his mouth at his father's back, something held him back.
Watching his father disappear down the hall, Sesshoumaru stared after him dispassionately before retreating back into his room. Perhaps it would be best to tell him that later.
======
When considering everything there was to consider, it amazed her to think that she had actually thought of giving up.
'I do worry for Father," Kagome thought mournfully. 'But... in order to save Father I must save myself. I can't possibly protect him in such subservience, can I?'
She knew she was lying to herself. But she was just desperate enough to risk it. Sesshoumaru had shown her true friendship in the short time she'd been with him, and had felt his pain when she'd refused his help that morning. But she'd changed her mind.
His little exit speech had made her think, despite her intense emotional response to it. She simply couldn't continue in this role she'd been cast into. Sure, she could wait until she was eighteen, like Manna... but that was years from now. To think she'd be subject to all that torture and probably worse techniques in the years to come made her nauseated. Manna. Where was Manna?
Probably far away.
Kagome wondered if Sesshoumaru would withdraw his assistance, and felt slightly panicky at the thought. She should call him. Yes. She would call him.
She attempted sitting up before remembering, painfully, that she could not. Sharp, lightning bolt pain swept through her body as she dropped back onto her stiff hospital bed again. Her teeth ground together as the last of it faded away to a dull ache. Blinking the tears away, she recalled the "nurse" button located at her bed.
The nurse that came in was a kindly older woman, with laugh lines covering her face and warm brown eyes beneath her brow. "Yes, dear?"
Kagome cleared her throat even though it hurt like hell to do so. "May I make a telephone call, please?" It sounded overly polite and hopeful, and as it came out she realized that Fori might have left instructions to refuse all attempts at contact with the outside world.
But no, today was her lucky day.
"Of course you may, dear. Here we are," the nurse said gently, handing her the phone from the far wall. The cord stretched between the two walls like so many miles of coiled springs. "What number shall I dial?"
"Dial?" Oh, no. She didn't know his number! 'Of course I wouldn't. I'd never had any reason to call the guy.' "I'm... I'm not sure. Do you have a phonebook around here? Oh, I'm so sorry to be a nuisance," she added as the older woman blinked a few times.
"It's quite alright. I'll be back with the phone book in a scant few seconds, dear."
She clutched the phone to her chest with a relieved sigh as the nurse exited, her soft slippers scuffing along the tiled hallway softly. The wait seemed to go on for hours, and in such a room time goes by twice as slow as it seems to be. At a loss, she looked out the window, but didn't have much of a view from her bed. Looking at her medical equipment depressed her and looking out of the hallway hurt her eyes. The hallway was so bright it was scary.
Soon enough, the nurse bustled back in with a phonebook. She started to set it on Kagome's lap, but thought better of it when she saw her condition. Instead, she put it on a chair near Kagome's bed and opened it a bit. "What would the name be, dearie?"
"H... Hazunuma."
The name didn't phase the nurse at all, despite Kagome's fears that it would. The old woman found the name well enough, but as expected with such a well-known family, the number was unlisted.
Kagome all but deflated at the nurse's "Sorry, dear," but managed to hold up well enough to offer a thank-you smile at the woman before she left.
'All I can hope is that he comes back.'
======
Fucking Sesshoumaru. He couldn't leave well enough alone, could he? 'Although, I guess technically the situation isn't "well enough," but-- what am I thinking? If Kikyo says it's right, then it's right! Kagome deserves this.'
Somehow, the mental reassurance did nothing to relieve the guilt he felt. Pacing the cement worriedly, InuYasha stood in front of the Higurashi residence. It had never loomed so malignantly before. He recalled how he had left, in pain, after his attempt at the weirdo's cherry. Pained screams echoed after him as he left through the door, piercing cold and pungent through his pain and into his mind, damn near shattering it as he realized what was occurring behind him, just a few walls beyond.
Kikyo hadn't even twitched. She had simply stared ahead, her eyes stony cold but her mouth curved in satisfaction.
He hadn't known Kikyo to be cruel until that day.
But still. Kikyo had told him all sorts of stuff about weirdo. How she used to beat Kikyo up when they were little, and kill her pets and such. The weirdo probably deserved what she got!
"Kikyo lies!" Sesshoumaru's voice floated back to him, raised in anger, his cheeks pink-tinged with barely concealed passion. Righteous fury.
"Damn!" InuYasha muttered to himself. And he continued to walk around in circles.
"InuYasha?"
He spun around, his breath growing light and breezy in apprehension. "Kikyo."
She was pretty as always, the kind of pretty that promises great beauty in maturity. Her cheekbones were high and her eyes darkly brown. Lips so beautiful it made you want to cry.
The resemblance between Kikyo and her sister wasn't so much uncanny as barely there. Mostly it had to do with how they bore themselves, but InuYasha thought that maybe it had to do with how skinny weirdo was. He remembered all the times Kikyo had laughed about stealing her sister's lunch, leaving her with barely anything.
"What are you doing here?" her voice sounded surprised, but pleasantly so. You could taste the smile in it. She stepped down the few steps separating them and stood in front of him, smiling gently. You never really noticed how hard and mean her mouth could become from a distance.
He looked from her to his shoes, and he knew his face appeared as unsure as his voice sounded. "Just to see you."
Her eyebrows flickered inwards in thought but she shrugged it off, taking his arm.
InuYasha let Kikyo lead him inside their house. It rose above them like an especially cruel vulture. He was loathe to enter, but he did so anyway. Albeit with great reluctance.
So deep in thought was he that he had scarcely noticed where she'd led him.
Her bedroom.
She'd refused him access before and after his encounter with the weirdo, always saying endlessly that "A girl's room was private," and he "had no use to be in there anyhow."
InuYasha looked about in confusion, then at Kikyo. He goddamn near panicked when he found her as close as she was. Swallowing that horrid lump in his throat, he gazed down at her.
She returned his look steadily as she slipped her shirt over her head.
======
She knew she wasn't ready to do this, but Fori had commanded she do so.
"You must gain his loyalty now, Kikyo. Nothing enchains a man so effectively as sex."
'I'm not ready!' she screamed to herself. Some masochistic part of herself reveled in her terror. 'Now you know how Kagome felt!'
'She has no feelings.'
It giggled. 'You know that's a lie.'
'Leave me alone!' She took off her bra next, and before she knew it, was standing half-naked in front of a red-faced, panting InuYasha. Vaguely, she felt a brand new emotion: shame.
Remembering Fori's instructions, she lifted InuYasha's hand to her breast. At first he touched hesitantly, afraid that she'd refuse him at the last minute. Then it grew into a hard kneading that made her want to slap him for his ignorance.
But she let him.
Soon they were on the bed, both naked. She lay prone beneath him as he thrust feverishly into her. It had hurt, partly because of his inexperience and partly because her hymen had been particularly strong. She knew herself to be bleeding from the blunt stabbing he was giving her.
She winced in pain every time he drove into her. He, caught up so much in his excitement and the sensation, either couldn't hear or ignored her.
It was over quickly. He had gotten dressed and left, embarrassed and flushed. How awkward he was.
Kikyo curled up into a ball on her bed and squeezed her eyes shut, letting an unfamiliar self-loathing wash over her. The conversation they shared after the deed left her nervous, like a flighty deer.
"Why?" he asked hoarsely, collapsed on top of her after.
"Becau... Because I love you. Do you--" She choked on her words. "Do you love me, InuYasha?"
The pause was lengthy. "Yes."
"I'm glad."
"... Kikyo?"
"Yes?"
"Can... Can we do this... again?"
Here she squeezed her eyes shut, because he was lying in a way that he couldn't see her. She wanted so desperately to say no. "Yes, InuYasha. Wh... Whenever you... Whenever you want."
And he had left, unaware of how she truly felt.
Soon she would come to hate him.
======
"The princess had lost her white silk handkerchief. So pure and beautiful it was! She mourned its loss more than she had mourned anything in her life. Without it, she felt lost and vulnerable.
She clutched herself in her tower, filled with fear at the great, scary world out there that would come to greet her now that she was without her beautiful pure handkerchief. Monsters and mayhem would come into her castle and scare her dreadfully, she knew.
'Oh, dear, oh, dear!' she cried to herself as she looked out the window at the great sky she beheld. 'The world is so much bigger without my white handkerchief!'
And so it was. So it was."
Excerpt from "A Story," by Tsuma Higurashi.
=
A/N: Ooh, it's all coming together. In a few chapters this will be all done and I'll have to say bye-bye to it. ;; Noooooo!